What generalisations? One abuser can hurt many others, and abuse is also under-reported; however, people who behave in this way are in a tiny minority. I think the posters on this thread have been perfectly fair about all this, and absolutely not hysterical in any way.

My advice to any parent looking at a potential teacher of either gender for their child: get recommendations and/or trust your instincts, while remembering that the vast majority of instrumental teachers are perfectly fine.

Violinia

I think the moderator has deleted all the threads of my previous topic "Important WARNING......", so I modify it in a much
softer tone this time.

Here again, I try my best to bring out my experience and to give knowledge to current male private teacher.
There is no discrimination, but, it is realistic that male private teacher has increasing unfavourable situation to
tackle. One major reason is the effect of all sorts of press reports.

Following is my modified content, all points reserved but lessen any emphasization:~

Private teaching is difficult for male nowadays, at least I know in some places, like Hong Kong and those being discussed
here

I conclude three reasons:
1. very often it make people suspicious about sexual harassment and child abuse. It is true, no exggeration;
2. one complaint, whether real or not, can ruin your career;
3. one prosecution, whether successful or not, can destroy your career & reputation in your town. Take a recent example: a
pop superstar MJ (you may know his full name) shows a case of "position that invites suspicion". Although he is proved
innocent finally, his reputation has been destroyed vastly.

Keep away from young girls maybe the best idea to safeguard ourselves. Leave them to female teachers is a better strategy.
Surely this may affect our income if we just rely on instrument teaching.

Oh no, I'd better get a different job tomorrow!

If you create safeguards around your teaching, there is never any problem.

Oh, that's okay then.

lobo, why have you posted the same thing on another thread that you have just started too?

You forget that the girl may not be thinking about other things. Yes, molestation goes through your mind, but people (especially teenagers and tweenagers) can get ideas into their minds for other reasons. Even if it's not on a sexual basis, this girl may have something against men. As some of you may be aware, I've had troubles with my dad in the past. Not sexual, but whenever I see a man of his build I can often feel aprehensive. Even if a man has shouted at you, you can get an idea in your head that men in general are bad; equally so for women. There are many reasons why she may have changed her mind; it could be due to things like this, or they could be unrelated. But if I were you, I wouldn't worry, you'll manage to fill the space with someone else.

Worth noting there may be more reported cases of male offenders, but that doesn't mean there are more. What would happen if any male offenders, however petty were reported, and female never were? Not that that happens, but you get the idea. Just like we don't really know what Mozart, Bach, Beethoven did do, only what has been reported about them, or found out. Even Grove or History of Western Music is no Gospel truth. This is something we have discussed in depth on my course this year. The person you really feel sorry for is the girl who decided this. What if she gets a male teacher at school, or does an exam and gets a male examiner, etc. Something is wrong with her. As a child, I had a male teacher (as a male pupil) but I don't think it made any difference. It was his teaching style that worked, and that is what should matter.

Nevertheless, this is one reason I would never object to parents sitting in on lessons when I start giving them. I'll say no more on this topic. It's an old thread.

I have been teaching for 5 years I teach kids from 7 upwards Parent stays in the room all the lesson - no messing. This rule applies to girls up to 18 and boys up to 16 If I lose pupils over this fine

Sounds to me like there was another reason for rejection

Major reason for rejection in my case is cats - they wander in and out and socialise - some people love this - others don't Apparently according to one parent her 9 year old who was holding an electric guitar at the time was "traumatised " our mini cat Kitzilla looking at him in a funny way They might bring a frog in from the garden to show a friendly feeling, this has happened once

Female pupils - If approached by a female I offer unprompted that they can bring a chaperone or take up references or whatever I want no women to be worried about coming into my house for lessons

In most cases my wife is present - the teaching room is open with windows on to the street. I filter out the unstable ones prior any face to face visits

It does help if you are old and leathery I have two demented female pupils who I got rid of
1 A 27 year old wannabe singer who started to come onto me. I got my wife to deal with that one I have stated fairly frequently on various posts that I am facially challenged - this is not to make myself interesting or intriguing, simply a statement of fact. I was deeply disturbed by this women because she was very attractive and 30 odd years younger than me What the helll she saw in me I could not understand I have my share of ego ( I am a tenor after all) being attractive to women is not part of my ego
2 A female singer who wanted me to use foul and abusive language to her as part of her teaching programme - She had been treated like this in South Africa and wanted a repeat. She never came back

The simple rule is if you think it is risky then don't

I said I was leaving this thread but you just reminded my piano teacher had two dogs in the house where she taught, and they were insane! They wandered in a few times, as if it's hard enough to concentrate without that.

As for abusive language, get rid of them, right thing to do.

Gosh, I'd forgotten all about this thread! Can barely remember what it was now. I've been teaching virtually all girls for nearly 6 years and (touch wood) have never ever encountered any sort of problems. To a certain extent I'm quite glad that I teach somewhere where there are a lot of other people around (local dance studio). What I'd really like, would be to have the solid door of my room replaced with one with a little window in so that people could see in - I think this would firmly put my mind at rest. I certainly wouldn't have parents or chaperones in a lesson.

David

This is not uncommon encounter for a male teacher. I remember that when I was a private teacher, similar case has happened not only once.
As I worked for company, therefore I did not receive any letter or any direct notification from parents of a student.

I think the little window is very important. I attended a CTABRSM seminar a while ago and this point was discussed. I returned to the school where I teach girls and pointed out that this had been raised and within half a term all the music rooms had little windows - the school felt that it was necessary in particular because an inspection was due (there are both male and female visiting music teachers).

I think that we should all do whatever is necessary to enable our pupils and their parents to view us as professionals. This may mean having CRB checks, or visiting pupils at home. I'm not sure that I would have a parent of an older pupil in a lesson, but I would have no objection to them sitting in the hallway, (out of sight, out of mind - of the pupil) with the door to my piano room open so that all could be heard clearly. I don't touch pupils as a rule, not even if they are upset - don't I sound hard-hearted - but I have tissues to mop up tears, and we have brief, friendly chats about general topics to create the right atmosphere. In general, there is no need to touch a pupil at all, and I feel particularly sorry for the teacher who encountered the genuine accident (falling off the piano stool) and the examiner too. Unfortunately, we all have to guard ourselves against the tiny minority of pupils and parents who are prepared to make mischief at our expense.

We may not agreed with the way various abuse cases are portrayed in the media, but the end result is that we need to protect ourselves and our reputations as much as possible.