Hi everyone!
Just wondering how many people have experienced this. At my school there seem to be a few singers who are adored by all the teachers (needless to say I'm not one of them). It's not that teachers don't ackowledge that other people can sing, but they just soo obviously prefer a few people (they get all the solos etc.). It's really annoying!
Experiences, comments etc. welcome
A frustrated and generally depressed Charlotte
Full Version: Favouritism
Oh yes...I know the feeling 
You are recognised and noticed, however it doesn't seem that way.
You are recognised and noticed, however it doesn't seem that way.
Bad news. It doesn't finish at school - it extends out to higher education and work too 
Yup definitely get that in my school too... 
Mind you, with me, its probab;y because i'm not good enough..there are plenty of pianists round here...
Mind you, with me, its probab;y because i'm not good enough..there are plenty of pianists round here...
QUOTE(july @ Dec 7 2005, 05:16 PM) 
Hi everyone!
Just wondering how many people have experienced this. At my school there seem to be a few singers who are adored by all the teachers (needless to say I'm not one of them). It's not that teachers don't ackowledge that other people can sing, but they just soo obviously prefer a few people (they get all the solos etc.). It's really annoying!
Experiences, comments etc. welcome
A frustrated and generally depressed Charlotte
Yep, I remember that. Solos at school were only ever given to pupils of the school's private peripatetic (and jolly expensive) music teacher. Being able to sing but not having lessons made you unsuitable for any solos going.
Glad it's not just me! It's soo frustrating! Having got into Honor Choir has helped (an international committee chose who got in!) but I can't seem to keep up with the others! Ah well.
The guy who teaches me music in school still doesn't know my name. I have told him that I play the piano yet he still always picks the loudmouth who doesn't even know what a violin is to do all the practical stuff. While I am stuck with a bass drum, he is allowed to go on the computer is do some composing.
It happens everywhere. For years in our school the annual musical was called "The *insert name here* Show" because of one talented girl. No-one else ever got a look in until she left and the powers that be realised there was loads of talent out there.
Did they really put up someone's name there?
Heehee - in the Programme it was Grease or whatever, backstage it was The xxxxx Show 
Plenty of it my end.
Woodwind teacher LOVES the only diploma student in the school, a 10 year old oboist who has a very pushy mother who sucks upto the music department SO much! and a few good jazz musicians. Its SO annoying, they're NEVER told off at all or criticised. Yet others are heavily criticised!
Even amongst the student ranks, the creme de la creme by their standards are always looked upto, not just as musicians as people, and others are looked down on as sad low lives, even though most of those who look down on the musicians haven't got a musical bone in their bodies!!!
IrisH - LoonY
Woodwind teacher LOVES the only diploma student in the school, a 10 year old oboist who has a very pushy mother who sucks upto the music department SO much! and a few good jazz musicians. Its SO annoying, they're NEVER told off at all or criticised. Yet others are heavily criticised!
Even amongst the student ranks, the creme de la creme by their standards are always looked upto, not just as musicians as people, and others are looked down on as sad low lives, even though most of those who look down on the musicians haven't got a musical bone in their bodies!!!
IrisH - LoonY
I wonder how many they teach privately???!!!!!
This happens a lot.The way of the world,I'm afraid.
This happens a lot.The way of the world,I'm afraid.
QUOTE(Semele @ Dec 7 2005, 09:21 PM)
This happens a lot.The way of the world,I'm afraid.
It sucks
IrisH - LoonY
Yup, I think favouritism must be a fact of life. My music teacher always gives solos to the best girl in her AS Music class, and while she's very good, the teacher ignores the other people who are well deserving solos too.
When I was 11 and in my last year of junior school we had a small group of girls (about 3 or 4) who were real "teacher's pets" and got picked for everything! If there was anything to be done, whether it be a solo or a duet, a presentation, a speech, any sort of performance they would be chosen. They were'nt even particular good, its just that the teacher never bothered listening to anyone else. She had her little favourites and stuck with them.
Imagine this teacher's horror, therefore, when a Music Student who was studying for her teacher training qualification came to our school to work with a group of children as part of her training. She taught us a few songs she'd composed and we sang them in the school assembly.
A few weeks later she came back to the school - as part of her final exams, she had to put on a short performance with a group of children from her designated school using music that she'd composed. She needed a vocal soloist - in fact she needed 3. And, because she knew nothing of the politics of the school, instead of picking teacher's little faves (who had their faces all in shape for yet another star-role), she just picked the kids she thought had the best voices.
One of which was me. A rank outsider who never got picked for anything because the teacher wasn't interested enough in me. No one had even bothered to hear me sing to check if I had a decent voice or not because I wasn't a favourite. But this music student had spotted it.
The teacher even went to the music student and QUERIED her choice of me as a soloist and asked her WHETHER SHE WOULDN'T PREFER ONE OF HER LITTLE FAVOURITES! (THE CHEEK!). No the student was firmly decided, she wanted me.
So the teacher had to put up with it. She had her revenge though. She persuaded (or rather bullied) the music student in to letting two of her little faves accompany me in my solo by playing guitar and singing the chorus along with me. Of course, I sang with all my might to drown them out, heheh. . .
Yes this was waaaaay back in 1983. but it goes to show two things:
1) Nothing changes
2) Teachers treating children like that can have a profound effect on that child's confidence for the rest of their life! It has stayed with me for a long time. And now as I struggle through my singing exams and trusting Katyjay that I REALLY WILL be able to sing well one day, I can't help hearing that teacher's voice in my head:
"Are you SURE you want her?" . . .
Imagine this teacher's horror, therefore, when a Music Student who was studying for her teacher training qualification came to our school to work with a group of children as part of her training. She taught us a few songs she'd composed and we sang them in the school assembly.
A few weeks later she came back to the school - as part of her final exams, she had to put on a short performance with a group of children from her designated school using music that she'd composed. She needed a vocal soloist - in fact she needed 3. And, because she knew nothing of the politics of the school, instead of picking teacher's little faves (who had their faces all in shape for yet another star-role), she just picked the kids she thought had the best voices.
One of which was me. A rank outsider who never got picked for anything because the teacher wasn't interested enough in me. No one had even bothered to hear me sing to check if I had a decent voice or not because I wasn't a favourite. But this music student had spotted it.
The teacher even went to the music student and QUERIED her choice of me as a soloist and asked her WHETHER SHE WOULDN'T PREFER ONE OF HER LITTLE FAVOURITES! (THE CHEEK!). No the student was firmly decided, she wanted me.
So the teacher had to put up with it. She had her revenge though. She persuaded (or rather bullied) the music student in to letting two of her little faves accompany me in my solo by playing guitar and singing the chorus along with me. Of course, I sang with all my might to drown them out, heheh. . .
Yes this was waaaaay back in 1983. but it goes to show two things:
1) Nothing changes
2) Teachers treating children like that can have a profound effect on that child's confidence for the rest of their life! It has stayed with me for a long time. And now as I struggle through my singing exams and trusting Katyjay that I REALLY WILL be able to sing well one day, I can't help hearing that teacher's voice in my head:
"Are you SURE you want her?" . . .
Oh gosh....
My choir director/voice teacher is horrible with favorites! Kiss ups, people with important parents, etc....they all get on her good side. I'm on her good side kind of but that's just because I work my bottom off.
One of her favorites is a horrible girl who hates me just because I got the part she wanted in out summer production. She's posted stuff about me on her blog so I keep up with it in case it gets really bad. Well this time it did. My voice teacher said, and she quoted, "[insert my name here] sucked! She had a great audition and we thought she could pull it off but she did a complete deadpan. Hardly ever smiled. Her leading days are over". My teacher never once told me what she thought of my performance therefore I assumed she thought it was ok. Everyone else including the other directors said I did good. She never even talked to me about it in rehearsals. And now she goes behind my back and says that about me to another student! A student who hates me already! Needless to say, I am more than a little mad about it and she will be hearing from my mother in about a week. This is performance season for us and I want to get through all of that before anything is said. Whew! Sorry about that rant but I just had to get it out!
Teachers can be some of the most damaging people in a young persons life.
My choir director/voice teacher is horrible with favorites! Kiss ups, people with important parents, etc....they all get on her good side. I'm on her good side kind of but that's just because I work my bottom off.
One of her favorites is a horrible girl who hates me just because I got the part she wanted in out summer production. She's posted stuff about me on her blog so I keep up with it in case it gets really bad. Well this time it did. My voice teacher said, and she quoted, "[insert my name here] sucked! She had a great audition and we thought she could pull it off but she did a complete deadpan. Hardly ever smiled. Her leading days are over". My teacher never once told me what she thought of my performance therefore I assumed she thought it was ok. Everyone else including the other directors said I did good. She never even talked to me about it in rehearsals. And now she goes behind my back and says that about me to another student! A student who hates me already! Needless to say, I am more than a little mad about it and she will be hearing from my mother in about a week. This is performance season for us and I want to get through all of that before anything is said. Whew! Sorry about that rant but I just had to get it out!
Teachers can be some of the most damaging people in a young persons life.
QUOTE(LadyMoonlight @ Dec 8 2005, 12:06 AM)
trusting Katyjay that I REALLY WILL be able to sing well one day
Yaaaaaaay!
Go Lady Moonlight!!!
Oh, the annoyingness of it! Yesterday, the choir teacher was running around trying to find all the people in Honor Choir to give them their music, and he overlooked me standing there! It was only when I moved so that I was right in his path that he said: "oh here, this is for you!" The cheek!!!
QUOTE(SuzyMac @ Dec 7 2005, 07:08 PM)
It happens everywhere. For years in our school the annual musical was called "The *insert name here* Show" because of one talented girl. No-one else ever got a look in until she left and the powers that be realised there was loads of talent out there.
Hey this happened in my school too and it goes on in my children's school - some things never change.
The sad thing is it happens in adult life too - a choir director who shall be nameless always gives any wee solos going to his son/daughter/wife/niece/grandchildren......... It should be renamed "The X Family Christmas Show"!!!!! (Mind you it's always been a bit like that, except it was horribly obvious this year. Not saying his relatives don't have nice voices, as they do, but there are trained singers in his choir who don't get a look in because they're not related.........)
hey this is different to school but it happens everywhere! in orchestra the cello section just dont seem to be popular with and conductor I have played under except one who was also a cellist, we just dont sdeem to be able to do anything right! yet the first violins are always right! grr! luckily our cello tutor always sticks up for us! hee hee
The sad thing is it happens in adult life too - a choir director who shall be nameless always gives any wee solos going to his son/daughter/wife/niece/grandchildren......... It should be renamed "The X Family Christmas Show"!!!!! (Mind you it's always been a bit like that, except it was horribly obvious this year. Not saying his relatives don't have nice voices, as they do, but there are trained singers in his choir who don't get a look in because they're not related.........)
we have an x family christmas concert too! all the solos are contained within one family plus a chosen few ,to be fair they are all very good though but they all give eachother flowers, must be like a florists at their house after! hee hee
QUOTE(chocolatedog @ Dec 9 2005, 11:30 AM)
The sad thing is it happens in adult life too - a choir director who shall be nameless always gives any wee solos going to his son/daughter/wife/niece/grandchildren......... It should be renamed "The X Family Christmas Show"!!!!! (Mind you it's always been a bit like that, except it was horribly obvious this year. Not saying his relatives don't have nice voices, as they do, but there are trained singers in his choir who don't get a look in because they're not related.........)
we have an x family christmas concert too! all the solos are contained within one family plus a chosen few ,to be fair they are all very good though but they all give eachother flowers, must be like a florists at their house after! hee hee
My cello teacher does that to me a lot
In my first 2 years of cello she never cared that much for me unless I hit the wrong note then she went mad at me and I got sick of her criticizing me so I quit for a year, then I realised end of last school year I had to have an instrument for GCSE so I took up cello again (had to persuade my mum so badly, she hates my tutor). This time it was alright and i quite enjoyed it until 2 weeks ago when i was supposed to have a 30 minute lesson (this was during the school production rehearsals) and she just sat for 15 minutes leaving me to play a piece then she told me to go rehearse the play and send her grade 5 a level students up (who were painting the set) and that really made me feel bad about myself and that I didnt have any skill, and also her 2 favourite a level students got half of my lesson time the two a level students are really nice people it's just my tutor always gets me down and im always nervous when sight reading about when she will criticize me again but as for singing i would love to do solo's but they always pick the older ones to do them who have recieved vocal training but ahh well i guess it happens just wish my cello teacher would lighten up a bit and be nicer.
I apologise for my bad punctuation and spelling
In my first 2 years of cello she never cared that much for me unless I hit the wrong note then she went mad at me and I got sick of her criticizing me so I quit for a year, then I realised end of last school year I had to have an instrument for GCSE so I took up cello again (had to persuade my mum so badly, she hates my tutor). This time it was alright and i quite enjoyed it until 2 weeks ago when i was supposed to have a 30 minute lesson (this was during the school production rehearsals) and she just sat for 15 minutes leaving me to play a piece then she told me to go rehearse the play and send her grade 5 a level students up (who were painting the set) and that really made me feel bad about myself and that I didnt have any skill, and also her 2 favourite a level students got half of my lesson time
the two a level students are really nice people it's just my tutor always gets me down and im always nervous when sight reading about when she will criticize me again but as for singing i would love to do solo's but they always pick the older ones to do them who have recieved vocal training but ahh well i guess it happens just wish my cello teacher would lighten up a bit and be nicer.I apologise for my bad punctuation and spelling
Your teacher should really try to support you through ALL your grades, and not just favour the high students, Chaos 91. Thats so unfair!
Anyway, all this sounds rather depressing. I hope we have all now realized that it happens everywhere. L also hope that the so-called "favourites" (don't mean to sound mean here, but it does depend on point of view) DON'T come and read this thread, that could be highly embarressing!
Therefore, I am NOT going to write anything about my music teacher's pets (sometimes I don't think they actually like it, in all fairness). But it is extremly irritating that they can use her as an excuse for being late to class when anyone else being late could get a detention!
Anyway, all this sounds rather depressing.
I hope we have all now realized that it happens everywhere. L also hope that the so-called "favourites" (don't mean to sound mean here, but it does depend on point of view) DON'T come and read this thread, that could be highly embarressing! Therefore, I am NOT going to write anything about my music teacher's pets (sometimes I don't think they actually like it, in all fairness). But it is extremly irritating that they can use her as an excuse for being late to class when anyone else being late could get a detention!
Yup happens everywhere! At Uni there's one guy who gets chosen to play a solo i nearly every concert we do ok he is a very good violinist but our class is full of really good musicians surely asking others to particpate would be nice?!
It gets even worse at competition level, where there are regular allegations of favouritism, i.e. if you haven't studied with maestro X, then you stand no chance.
Some competitions try to avoid this by preventing voting on students of the judges, but not all have this level of transparency.
Some competitions try to avoid this by preventing voting on students of the judges, but not all have this level of transparency.
We once had a(n admittedly very talented) producer for our amateur operatics society who put his personal favourites at the front for all the ensemble numbers, and those he considered old, ugly, or just plain not in his clique at the back.
He couldn't stand me, but realised I was a reasonably useful singer, so I always got put in the middle row...
He couldn't stand me, but realised I was a reasonably useful singer, so I always got put in the middle row...
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.