Anybody know what is appropriate to write inside a Xmas card to someone whose husband died last week?
It's a blank card so it's entirely up to me....

I wrote that my thoughts were very much with her at this difficult time as I thought a lot of her (and of her husband when he was alive but of course I was silent on this). She popped over and told me she thought of me, too, and told me she was going for counselling. She also asked me to go over to her for a cup of tea when I've reached the end of my tethers! I did reach the end of my tethers today and cried till my eyes hurt so much. I had an urge to let myself go and wail but stopped myself in time because I might upset my son even more but had better not since he was already screaming his head off (on and on today) for no apparent reason and I broke down as I couldn't take it any more. He was distressed but couldn't tell me what or why? Perhaps I should have gone across to her as people do feel much better sometimes if they feel useful? She might have felt better consoling me. What irony.

I've recently had to do this for a cousin in Poland whose son (aged only about 22) was tragically killed in a car crash a couple of months ago. I just put (in Polish) on the Christmas card that I knew it would be a time of sadness rather than rejoicing this year for the family, but that my thoughts were with them and that I sent them all my best wishes.

I had the same problem Andy! In the end I bought a Christmas card which said 'Thinking of you at Christmas' which had a comforting verse inside and then wrote something similar to Jo above.
Pity you didn't post this yesterday when I still had the card.

Nobody minds what you write at such a time - just make sure you send the card and let her know that your thoughts are with her. You don't have to go into detail.

Apart from Christmas Day itself, the hardest time for her may be in a few weeks, when the shock has worn off.

focus on the "best wishes/thinking of you at Christmas" rather than the "have a merry christmas" I think. I'm glad you're still sending a card - I notice we've had fewer this time and I'm wondering if it's because people are scared of what to write.

I would put
Dear.....

Happy Christmas

I am very sorry to hear the bad news.

Something like that.