I feel really self conscious about going for my singing exam in Feb. I worry that my age will produce sniggering. I'm 35, and while I've always sung and played instruments in a casual way, I've never done formal study before.

I wondered whether others had shared this anxiety about exams? I also wondered, if it's not too rude to ask, how old most of the adult learners on this forum are?

Older than you

Seriously, I was 35 when I started singing lessons. That was three years ago. Have a read back through the threads here and you'll find people who have started MUCH later than that.

And we all have exam angst, and we are all self conscious about taking exams along with kids....and that's why we're all here, to compare notes.

Cheers

Katyjay

Once over 35 does it really matter? Aren't our lives supposed to be over at 25? We're all still here (hehe) having fun playing music. Good luck on your exam, imagine the audience in spandex.

-zpiccolo

Please don't worry! I was 55 when I took my first music exam and sat in the waiting room with children in their school uniforms - it didn't matter because once I arrived I didn't think about anything except the exam. In any case, everyone was very pleasant & didn't treat me as if I'd arrived from planet Zog .

On the production side, it's quite usual for singers to start serious training later than instrumentalists do. Working with an instrument that keeps changing and can be easily damaged needs great care and a relaxed pace.

Quite a few contemporary singers seem to have started out as instrumentalists, before they realised that they could have a voice of high quality.

I'm quite sure many adult candidates - of whatever instrument - feel just as you do. However my students find that in reality the examiners are really interested and supportive.

I have several adults who have plucked up the courage to take an exam. One is a lady who started piano lessons in her fifties, and took grade one last year. I think she found she was both self-conscious and very nervous - yet she passed with merit. I have another student who returned to lessons after many years - had studied at school but not done exams. At the end of his first exam (grade 3 - he's since done 4 and 5) he had a brief chat with the examiner, who was very positive, and told him he was the first adult that day who hadn't gone to pieces. I really think examiners enjoy seeing adults so I hope you are encouraged by all this!

Kenm makes a good point about singers often starting / developing later than other instrumentalists.

LOL, i'm 23 and have just decided to take it up again, i've just booked my grade 1 theory for first session and dont fancy being in the test centre with loads of kids all looking and pointing as if im a failure lol... so yeah know exactly what you mean.

I have taken 3 exams in the last couple of years, and have always found the examiners very accommodating and encouraging. However, people are sometimes caught off guard when you turn up.

I recently took grade 5 for piano at the same time as my son was taking his grade 1. He went first and after he had finished the invigilator came in, looked at me and said, "oh, the next candidate isn't here". When I said "it's me", he walked out of the room! I followed him and had to point out that I was the next candidate, he thought I had been joking!

At my Grade 5 exam, my (then) accompanist and I caused a little mirth....

We walked in and the steward asked "Are you parents?" To which accompanist said "yes" and I said "no" (accompanist's about 10 yrs older than me). The steward did a bit of a double-take as we stood there, looking completely bewildered.

Then I explained that the little "A" at the side of his list indicated an adult candidate (me) and that accompanist was here in a musical rather than a parental capacity.......

Don't worry about it. I'm 32 and just passed my grade 7. At least working towards music exams as an adult you know what you want to achieve and are doing because you want to not for anyboby else. I had a 10 year gap between my grade 6 and grade 7 and looking at the marks i got for the 2 exams I was better prepared this time just as nervous but better prepared. Go for it./ The main thing is to enjoy your instrument or singing and not feel presured into doing any exams. Good luck.

Hi, I'm 36, started learning piano in the last 15 months, and just finished my grade 3 exam. As another respondent said, I'm doing this because I want to do it. And frankly, for that reason, I don't care what anyone else thinks!!

Don't worry be happy!

The only time I've ever had a real issue over my age and starting lessons was, sadly enough, at the AB's High Scorer's Concert.

I was invited to the February 2004 one in Sunbury, because I'd got a good result in my Grade 5. And I sang about halfway through the first half of the programme.

During the interval, I overheard as the parent of another high-scoring singer (who was aged, I'd say, around 11 and who had an awful "pseudo-cute" voice) said rather sniffily "Adults shouldn't be allowed to take part. After all, it's meant to be for children, isn't it?"

I resisted the temptation to wade in and say "No it isn't. I've just as much right to be here as anyone else!" But I was a bit cross inside.

Hello
I'm 47 started piano aged 45 just passed grade three. I get very nervous. I don't get nerves over anythying else in life. Weird isn't it.
Good luck.BBBFN Mike

I don't think I could have resisted saying something - and pointing out that it is harder for adult learners to achieve top grades than it is for children. I know it would be difficult to say that when you are the candidate - if I'd been there and heard such a remark I'd have done it for you, Katyjay.

Please dont feel self conscious. I started clarinet in July at the rip old age of 42. I managed with a lot of support from people here and a very good teacher to pass Grade One in December.

You will find the examiner very friendly and polite but professional they will do everything they can to help you pass. (It is after all in their interests) My advice for the day:

(1) Make sure you arrive in plenty of time
(2) Run through you material (in your mind at least)
(3) Do anything that helps you relax ... the common advice is to have a bannan but i dont know if that is a good idea for a singer (KatyJay will probably be a good person to talk to!)
(4) Use these forums. People are really friendly and there is nothng that at least one of them hasn't experianced (in terms of music that is) and they all like to help.

In my city its so differnt, because are a few adults who lernen music, its a tabu, at my University are a pianist who likes to teach only kids ( 8 yeras old its so late for lerne piano) I disagree, ok if you want to be a concertist I dont know ok parctice at a young age, but if you are 18 or 54 and You Want to learn music because you loved it!! so do it!! I started to take music lessons at the age of 18, I studied piano yhen I studied sining lessons and later I was The University in the Licenciature of voice, Today im in my 5 year I almost finished my carreer, I have another career, Music pedagogique.
Im disagree too, when say that people talented only couild learn music, that its so wronG!!! theres people who born with the "Talent" ( facility for doing things) but are other people who dont have it but exist the courage the discipline to have it, music its dsicipline and passion.

Thanks for all the replies - it was heartening to read them! (Katyjay's concert story rather amazing though. Incredible how small some people can be, isn't it? Perhaps though it would be helpful for the ABRSM to think about adult high scorer concerts - it would be nice to be able to attend such events and not feel self-conscious that everyone else only comes up to your waist!)

Forgive my ignorance - what's a bannan?

banana

In terms of singers eating bananas - sometimes I do and sometimes I don't have one.

I do find that the calming effect works (either auto-suggestion or real chemistry, don't care which if it works!), and like all singers my voice sounds best when I'm really relaxed.

BUT For the timing of the effect to be right, you need the banana about half an hour before you are "on" and I personally don't like to eat that soon before I sing.

And sometimes I just forget either to buy one, or to eat it!

Cheers

Katyjay

my music teacher(very profesional organist and pianist graduated from RSM) took grade 2 bassoon some years ago at the age of thirty something. it really proves age is not a matter.

Age is but a number and those who wish to learn (music or anything else) shouldn't feel that a "higher number" makes them less eligible or able. Music itself is not ageist, therefore neither should those who either teach or perform it. If there is anything that really annoys me, it's teachers who refuse to teach adults or views an adult learner as some sort of inferior being who has no hope.

Regrettably so much in life will always be geared towards youth; irrespective of whether they are the age group who would benefit the most or not. There is a saying that 'youth is wasted on the young', I have to agree, since we all (hopefully) have an entire lifetime to fulfill our dreams. Many of those dreams don't even occur to us until we have lived a little and really appreciate what opportunities are really out there, decided on what we really like or dislike and what we aspire to achieve. It's just such a pity the body often ages long before the mind or the willpower.

An interesting point discussed over breakfast with members of the Northern Sinfonia (while on a Messiah tour in Huddersfield), was how good it was to see a violinist in the January 2006 edition of The Strad who is just starting to make headway on the violin at the age of 34. OK, so he's not that old, but it is still proof that life is not over if you aren't at the top of your career tree by the time you reach 19.

Hello,

I know how you feel about exams, but you will be fine because as an adult you really want to do it and not all those children do! (Half the time it's their parents!) I started piano exams quite confidently as a child and got progressively more nervous the older I got, until taking grade 8 piano at 18 and failing was totally demoralizing, because I was very ill-prepared and should never have taken it. Now, at nearly 30, I am putting that behind me and am determined to pass it next time.

I don't think we adults should worry - it takes a lot of guts and determintation to study as an adult. At university we used to look at the mature students and admire their enthusiasm and now I am an adult learner myself, I can see why they were so enthusiastic about learning. You see things in a new light as an adult - I am learning things about music that I never even new existed as a child.

I also think that there are so many opportunities open to adults these days, that people are far more admiring and accepting than you think. So don't think that people will be laughing. You are the one who will be gaining by the experience, not them!

Good luck!
Jeanne

Hi meercat, I'm, um, forty-something, and did my first practical grade last year. Go for it! My examiner was really nice, and I found it a really positive and fulfilling experience, more so probably than I would have done if I'd gone for it at 18 (probably got a higher mark too, as I actually knuckled down and worked hard for it ). Think of it this way - it's probably a refreshing change for the examiner to hear a mature voice - something a bit different...

Glad to hear of another adult singer on the forums (we're a rare breed) - what type of voice do you have?

I played several band instruments in grade school, however I at the time I didn't really "enjoy" playing. I just did it because it was fun to hang out with some friends. All through college I never really played. It wasn't until my daugter was born that I pulled out my old harmonica (age 33). I was amazed after 15+ years of neglect that I could still play a decent tune. I then dug through my hope chest and found an old wooden Olympia recorder. I bought it on a whim as a kid but never really learned to play. Since then, I've been playing harmonica, recorder and now penny whistle. The difference between now and back then is that now I actually enjoy playing. I look forward to some quiet time I can sit and make music.