I had my flute lesson yesterday, and my teacher told me that if I gained a little more confidence and relaxed more when playing then I could get into the county symphony orchestra (I'd prefer to be in a band but that isn't the point!). I have known for a while that my fingers are incredibly tense and I also found out yesterday that my embouchure, whilst good in position is also really tense. How do I relax?

Try T'ai Chi...a few Qi Kung exercises before starting to play or practise will relax your mind and body. And its good for you too

Yes. Alexander Technique is also good... though expensive

And meditation!

I know my grandad did T'ai Chi, but can I do a few exercises on my own without joining a class or something? Where can I find the exercises online?

Here

remind me and I'll show you next time we meet

Nicki

You could try a trick I do when I'm preparing to sing - obviously you'd have to put the flute down first

Stand facing your music stand, with your feet slightly apart and your hands dangling down by your sides. Drop your shoulders down and back. Give a huge sigh. Feel all the stress and tension in your body seeping out through your feet into the floor. Stay like that for a couple of moments, feeling yourself relax. Close your eyes and make your face blank, so that you are totally relaxed. Just breathe in and out a couple of times.

Then, when you're relaxed, pick up your flute and try playing. If the tension creeps back, put it down again and do the relaxation again.

Hope this helps

Cheers

Katyjay

Well admittedly this doesn't work for everyone, but whenever I play to large crowds, or examiners, I visualise them as big red jelly babies. Personally I find that this makes the experience much less stressful.

Matt

I like it.

One thing I learned from The Practice Revolution is, in a specific piece, to play it very slowly, with the lights dimmed, and repear in your head words such as "effortless, relaxed, easy" - the plan is to get that feeling associated with the piece.

*laughs*! The problem is that I get tense even when practising when nobody is at home but me.

Tense as in nervously tense? or tense as in muscularly tense? (or both of course )
If you have problems with nerves and feelings of tenseness look up a book called "the inner game of music".. its all about dealing with that stuff - tis pretty helpful!
If its that you get tense/fixed fingers, and find it hard to relax them, try adjusting your hand position and grip on the instrument... sometimes its actually stuff like a slightly off thumb-position that has a knock-on effect in causing tenseness in the fingers. (i do this.. unfortunately trying then to remember to adjust thumb-position is too much of a challenge! )
s xx

I may have got the wrong idea - but if the tension is from too tight a grip with your fingers..... can you feel lots of vibration through your fingers as you play? I could feel very little before today. I didn't even realise my right thumb was going white as I played from gripping so tight. Today I was shown what to look for in the mirror and told to relax my fingers and use a light tough. Took me several hours to start to release the tension in my fingers - BUT once I did I could feel SO much vibration I was amazed. Especially playing the bottom register. AND each note has a slight difference to it's vibration. So my aim now is to feel as much vibration as possible while playing.

Yr_Hobo - I do have that book, so I will look in it and see what it says. More tenseness as in physical tenseness though.

Snuglivixen - Ooohh, I love it when you can feel the vibrations! The only thing is I have an open holed flute, does this make any difference?

My teacher said to me on Thursday that it is holding me back

Alexander technique is good, but also consider
Yoga
Tai'Chi
Pilates
Guided relaxation classes. The University Counsellor took lessons in this which I found very uesful.