What did my parents make gallons of to use up their glut of tomatoes?

Inkjet printers

What are on a par with strimmers as the most annoying pieces of machinery known to man?

Banana plants

What can walk up to two metres in a year? (I'm actually being serious for once )

A tortoise

You're sure you'e not confusing it with a Triffid??



What has a difficult shell to crack

Walnut

What, when made into a whip, contains no walnut whatsoever?

Cold porridge

What did Mummy Bear have for breakfast?

Goldilocks on toast

What did YAP have for breakfast?



Corned beef pudding



*boggle* and

Mum and I saw a sign on the road a week or two ago "Warning: Heavy Plant Crossing"

We looked at each other and said "Triffids!!!"

They do walk, though, or something like. Banana plants are planted in lanes, with alternate lanes of banana plants and spare ground. The plant gradually moves from its original position to the spare ground .

Freaky... I wonder why...

Why did the banana plant cross the road?

Shade

Where do banana plants like to sit in the summer?





Pineapple copse

Who are always on the hunt for stolen pineapples?


Siamese cats

took me a second to work out where you were going with that one!

Which cats are the most tuneful?




Shortbread and crackling

Can you think of two foods that don't really go together if you ate them at the same time.

An aubergine as tall as the London Eye.

what do you call 14 McDonald's stack on top of each other?

A musically stupid wicked man yet jubilant, wearing his favourite dressing gown.

How did close friends describe Beethoven?






Criminally insane lupins.

What was the last answer that Sarah gave on the 'Answer and Question Game' thread? (Is it clear that I don't have a clue what criminally insane lupins are?)

Stating the obvious

Is there even such a thing? Lupins are flowers

Make it up!!

What is my motto when it comes to stating a fact on this forum?

Coat it in salt and eat it

What would be an awful thing to do to an orange?

Use it as a bowling ball.

How can you be tight to your best friend's private bit when he is drunk

A triangle which exists with no corners

Under the rule of 'Ex falso quodlibet', give an example of an antecedent that can imply anything?


Mouldy coffee mugs

What are you likely to end up with if you pour out mouldy coffee?

A large vat of Chardonnay.

Paris Hilton's new swimming pool?


A jacuzzi filled with milk.

A modern day Cleopatra's bathing means of choice?

Sargasso Sea

What is actually a metaphor for pickles and chutney?





Rhubarb crumble

Can you name a dish often served at dessert?

A cup of gravy with a cocktail umbrella in it.

Barry's desert of choice?





Peonies

Have to do without the cocktail umbrella though!

What could you plant in your garden?

A cactus, which you'd then put a sunhat on.

What would one not like to be tied nude to?

A kangaroo

*boggle*

What would one not like to be tied to full stop?



A koala bear

*hmm thinx, bear, bare. . . *

What animals sleep for approximately 21 hours a day? (what a life! )

Goldfish

What swims around saying "Hmmm...hadn't noticed that before!!"

Mark Spitz (showing my age a bit there!)

What dreadful habit does Mark have when swimming?

Chewing gum

What comes in a variety of flavors, and apparently takes seven years to digest when swallowed?


My dog, Abby.

what is the name and the pet that Christian have at home?

A communist Nazi who has a black face, yellow stomach and white legs

What was one of my least successful ever costumes for a fancy dress party? (probably because I tried dressing as both a communist and fascist at the same time, which sort of cancel each other out).

Contrabassoon

What instrument is also known as a double bassoon?

Two trumpets put together

Car Expert

The sound of what is (arguably) worse than having your feet tickled with a concrete feather duster?

My singing voice

[quote name='Deborah' date='Apr 4 2006, 07:54 AM' post='294381']
What was one of my least successful ever costumes for a fancy dress party? (probably because I tried dressing as both a communist and fascist at the same time, which sort of cancel each other out).

Contrabassoon
[/quoyou are a joker Deborah.


what is the last thing I want to hear when you are drunk?

A real man who has two legs and two arms running, swimmming and jumping at the same time.

Who's going to win the London Marathon?








Scumble

What is the correct art term to describe the process of overlaying with thin layer of paint to soften or lighten the shade or the line?

An ins####ating incunabula.

A term I can't pronounce let alone know the meaning of.

Nursing

What is one field that I briefly thought of entering in my career deciding days?




Schubert's Sonata D. 664

Can you name a good piece to play on the piano?

Elgar's Cello Concerto op 85

Jacqueline du Pre's most famous recording is of which work?

The theme tune to The Archers

Customarily sung when opening a bottle of peach schnappes?

Incey wincey spider

What was playing in our bath last night?

Handel's water music

What is the most appropriate music for singing whilst bathing?






Chocolate sauce