I wonder whether anyone else here has had to cope with a similar situation to the one I'm having to come to terms with today.

I'm currently playing piano for the local amateur dramatic society's production of Guys and Dolls. We've already done 4 performances and theirs just tonight's and 2 tomorrow to go. Then suddenly, out of the blue I get a text this afternoon saying did I know that one of the principle characters died this morning. He was only 39. At first I thought this was some kind of wind up, but no, it's true. How does a society cope with such a loss, and during such a time as this?

Perhaps the saddest thing of all was that he gave such a great performance last night. He even got an encore for the first time this week. He left the theatre last night full of life - who would have thought that he wouldn't be there to give the same amazing performance tonight!

Anyway, as he would have wanted, the show is going to go on. The director is going to take his role instead. It's going to be really difficult for the cast and I suspect that there will be some of them turning up tonight for the performance who haven't even heard the news. But, they act like true professionals, and the show goes on. I don't think anyone forsees such an event happening during their production, especially something like this which you can never be prepared for.

David

I am afraid I can't offer much advice, but all my condolences go to you, his friends and family.

*hug*

If you feel upset, don't forget it is ok to cry *sympathetic smile*

A similar thing happened to a French horn player in the Philharmonia a few months back. He was out with firends from the orchestra after a performance when he suddenly collapsed and died. Aged just 34.

Condolences to you dcmbarton, I know only too well how shocking it is to experience the sudden death of a friend or colleague. I know it won't make it any easier for friends or family, but remember that at least he died happy and having been enjoying themselves. I think if we all had a choice it's the way we'd chose to go out of this world.

David

You and the rest of the cast have my condolences. Give a performance tonight that he'd be proud of.

Katyjay

So sorry to hear such shocking news, David. My condolences.

sorry to hear, i was playing in the pit for the same show over christmas - we though we were unluck when the person playing the minor character for harry the horse droped out! That is really is terrible news.

That is shocking! Sorry to hear about that.

Car Expert

It's such a sad situation and very hard to deal with. I'm in our church choir and last autumn our organist E died suddenly. She was an elderly lady and not in the best of health but it was totally unexpected. She'd been organist and choir mistress for 43 years so no-one could remember church without her. We had to sing for a wedding only 2 days later, then harvest festival the day after that. It was quite the hardest thing we've ever done but we just decided we had to make her proud of us.

Luckily my husband can play the organ a bit so he took over. Our new permanent organist arrives in another month - a lovely man who grew up in the village and learnt from E and is a superb organist. He's probably the only person we'd have wanted in her place. It'll be nice not to have organ practice and church services taking over our lives quite as much.

Needless to say, although the services soon after her death were very sad, we carried on just as she'd taught us, and the music at her funeral was the best we'd ever produced.

It is so hard to continue and you have to decide what is right for your situation. In our case we just didn't want to let E - or anyone else - down. We still feel as though she's watching us and tutting when we go astray in a psalm!

Jane

Our local school had a similar situation when the choreographer (an extremely popular teacher) was killed in a car crash less than a fortnight before the school show. The show didn't go on in this case as the pupils were all too upset to perform, and some of the dances hadn't quite been ready so they felt they couldn't carry on....

Very sorry to hear this...

I sympathise with you and your friends, David.
The choir I sing with went through losing its director of music earlier this year.

Sincere condolences to you and the rest of the team.

Well, I've just got back from one of the most fantastic performances I've seen from them. They really did him proud. They made an announcement at the beginning explaining what had happened, but also reasuring the audience that it was OK to laugh and enjoy the show.

I didn't know him personally, though his passing will obviously affect the rest of the cast, though they all rose to the occasion tonight.

I think they'll do OK tomorrow, but it might hit them on Sunday. From a personal perspective, it's always sad but things go on, as they did tonight.

David

David

Coping with death is always difficult - sudden death of a young, vibrant person is always terribly hard and a great shock.

I'm glad your performance went well - the others will probably do so too. I think you're right to say the real shock of it all will set in when the show ends. Each member of the society will cope in their own way - there's no right way and no wrong way because we're all different.

Just hold onto all that the deceased meant to each of you and be thankful that he'd have died happy in the knowledge he'd just given a fantastic performance.

I suppose it serves to remind us all when these things happen, just how fragile is the human existence we cling to.

My prayers and condolences to you all.

Take care
Oboist

It sounds like you got just the right mix. By acknowledging the performer at the start of the performance you give him the respect due, and by going on with the show you respect the time and effort of everyone else involved.
When my dad died last year my mum and I didn't go to the show that the local am-dram group was doing (my dad did the bulk of their set design) - would've have been far too difficult, but there's no way we'd even consider anyone else not being involved!

The cast have obviously done him proud, as you say David.

You have my utmost sympathy.

Take care,

Barry (clari)

Very sorry to hear such sad news...especially so young.
Two weeks ago, at our local high school, a Trainee teacher died suddenly at only 35. One day she was in school, absolutely fine, and she died that evening of a heart attack.
Very sad.
My thoughts are with you all and give a show that he would have been proud of.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, David. I cannot understand or advise But you and your friends have my deep sympathy. Both my parents died suddenly and unexpectedly.

I've just read this thread. So sorry to hear the news David. My thoughts and condolences go to you and all your colleagues. A sudden death like this is always a shock, and it may not seem quite real at the moment. As you say, it will probably start to hit people after the end of the production. And people cope in different ways. There is no right or wrong. Just take very good care of yourself, and try to take things easy as much as you can.

Thinking of you,

Warm, gentle hug (if that's ok)

Amber
x

Death feel most un-natural at times like this when you can't imagine how such a strong vibrant personality can just be lost due a physical weakness. It is most shocking at a young age, even when you are not close to those involved!

Yes, when the person is young it's shocking even if it's expected... friend of mine died just under a year ago at not-quite-23, and even though we were expecting it when he eventually did die, it was still horrendous and shocking. When it comes out of nowhere it is terrible.

I actually saw an article about it in the paper, David, though it took me a second to make the connection. Thinking of you all.

It sounds as if the cast did a fantastic job - just what he would have wanted. Yes, the reaction will probably set in now it's all over and it's quite natural to feel shocked and it certainly makes you aware of your own mortality when something like this happens. My sincere condolences to you, David.

I am so sorry to hear about that. I am thinking of you and all your colleagues.

We have had a few tragedies at the local school -ex students dying (students most of the school knew) and the stupid thing was none of us were ever offered any counselling.

Very sorry to hear that I'll be thinking of all of you.

That's truly awful. Thinking of all of you.

David,

This must have been an awful shock, and I'm glad that you and the rest of the cast were competant enough to give a good performance in memory of your deceased colleage.

My hearfelt sympathy goes out to everyone involved. This is an extremely difficult situation to deal with.

Your professionalism I'm sure will be recognised by the family of the deceased - a fitting tribute.

Well, I got the inevitable phone call today - would I play the organ at the funeral, becase the cast are going to sing "Sit down you're rockin' the boat!"

David

David, It'll be difficult, but I do hope you said yes.

I'm sure if God has seen the rest of you through this so far, he'll be keeping an eye out for all the cast and band members at the funeral.

He moves in mysterious ways...

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss.

so sorry to hear of your loss. it's scary thinking how quickly things change, how there are people you don't have time to talk to and then don't get the chance. glad to hear that the show went well, a fitting tribute to him. at least he will have gone remembered for the vibrant character and at least he got his encore as well
thinking of all of you involved, best wishes for the funeral if you all chose to go ahead.
hoxie
x

Thinking of you David.