As a teacher, I did everything to stop my elder son "taking over" at my younger son's first violin lesson. I packed a book, gave him the pep talk beforehand etc. But when we got there, as I especially wanted to sit in on the lesson, to be taught the material I need to know to support younger son's violin lesson, older son decided that the book wasn't interesting enough.

The teacher is keen to keep me in the lessons at present, so how do I train older son? As he is only seven years old I can hardly leave him in the car. When I teach at home I provide an adjacent room for siblings/parents, but this does not appear possible here.

I really want my younger son to have "his activity" as his older brother already has some of his own, but whilst I am able to keep a sense of professional objectivity around for my pupils and their relations, it is completely different when deling with my own kids!

Pack him off to a friends house.

If that's not possible

Make little brothers music lesson day a joint day with treat day ....!

Tell them they'll both get a great big special dessert or a McDonalds after the music lesson but they ONLY get it if big brother stays quiet during little brothers music lesson.

Bribery is not the best parenting but can be effective I've realised. Or if you wanna be harsher the usual parenting methods for bad behaviour: tell him how selfish he is being, how he is spoiling it for his brother when he got his activities uninterrupted. Then threaten him with a sanction and follow thru with the mentioned punishment if he still will not behave during the lesson.

I don't think there's any particular special method for dealing with a disruptive child during a music lesson. The standard parent methods of dealing with your child would apply there too.

Did he choose his book or did you?
Let him choose a quiet activity for during the lesson rahter than you choosing.

Very tempting, but this might not work every week


It's a difficult one this, as I don't want my parenting getting in the way of the lesson either.

Well go for the bribery then ..........!

Not the greatest mehtod but perhaps effective if you want obedience and for your younger child to have his music lessons uninterupted!

A slightly more expensve option but one I have used in the past for when siblings have come for a double lesson is to get a portable dvd player, a big pair of headphones and a film like Shrek or similar. Once kiddie is settled I never heard a peep from them. I've used this tactic on kids aged 4-11. Also handy for long car journeys because you can normally plug 2 sets of headphones in and then the kids can both watch.

You might find the book Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish an interesting and helpful read. It changed the way I dealt with grandchildren and I wished I had had it when my own children were younger. It's available in paperback from Amazon.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search...1167141-3400628

Good luck!

I've got one of those an the headphones to go with it, so that's a definite possibility.

Personally, I don't have parents or siblings sitting in on lessons after the initial one (and not then if possible). They sit the other side of a door, waiting in my kitchen. If a parent wants, they can hear what I'm doing in the lesson but not actually be there - I find students concentrate better when they're not being "observed" by the family. However, that's a personal preference and I know one that isn't liked/used by others who teach and, in this particular case, you say it's not an option anyway.

As regards your sons, I would do everything I could to avoid taking the eldest with me to the lesson. Speaking as a younger sibling myself, I always hated the fact that everything I did was in the shadow of my older siblings and I could never have something "just for me". Even if the older one is specially occupied (and is that an "extra" treat the younger one will be denied in reverse) during the lesson, it's not the same as having your special time with your teacher and, if appropriate, your Mum when older brother isn't there.

Otherwise, it's up to you what method you use but IMHO, during youngest's lesson, HE is always the focus of attention and never older brother. Bribery or punishment? Either could work - it's what you feel comfortable with. The key thing is that the younger one doesn't go off playing the violin just because he can't cope with the fuss and distractions created by his older brother at lesson time.

Hope you get something sorted out for them both (and you).

I don't normally have parents and siblings in lessons for the same reason, and provide my sitting room for their use. I'll talk to the teacher.

Ideally I wouldn't want older son there. I never wanted younger sister at my lessons after all. I didn't mind younger brother, but he's 11 years younger than me!

I agree! I never allow parents or siblings in to lessons.
However, I don't provide my sitting room either. That belongs to my husband after a hard days work! They either go over to the sports centre across the road for a coffee, or wait in the car.

Ann

Older brother was better this week.

Next week if the weather is nice I'll take him for a walk for 20 minutes. I think younger son will get on better in his lesson if I'm not there.

I've looked through his colourstrings book and it makes enough sense for me still to be able to help. After all younger son works well at school unless I come in to read a story, why should I expect him to do any differently in his instrumental lesson.