I was just wondering if your friends understand your dedication to music.

My friends don't really and say that me practicing for hours is 'sad' and say that if I didn't practice as much I would 'actually have a social life'.

I do have friends outside school that understand me liking music but I don't get to see them often.

Please don't say get new friends because there is nobody else in my school that I can really hang out with.

My friends play instruments (some of them) but they don't practice and don't enjoy it and haven't got to the 'doing grades' stage and I don't think they ever will. They often ask me 'what is the point in music' and try to start arguments about it.

I can't wait to go to uni to do music because I might actually meet like minded people there that I can see often. Just another 3 and a half years to go ...

Please share your experiences and advice

My friends accept me as I am, which is good, although it doesn't mean they think I'm normal
I think it might be because we're past the stage of "that's so lame" - everyone accepts people for who they are, sometimes people are a little eccentric, or "weird", but we all are, and that's a good thing. Lots of my friends spend hours playing sport, and I think they're crazy I suppose, but it doesn't matter because they're still cool people!
I think you should just say to your friends that you might be a bit obsessed with music, but could they please stop making a big thing of it as you value their friendship, but don't want to change who you are, just as you wouldn't expect them to change who they are. Or something like that.

Right now, you have a huge variety of friends - when you're at uni, they will often be quite similar to you. It's good to get to know loads of types of people, as it's more like the real world. Keeps a sense of reality.

You are lucky that they are past the 'that is so lame stage' - I don't think mine with be able to ever overcome that!

I think I should really get some new friends because mine have just began to get into drinking and all that in a big way (I do not want to drink ot smoke etc. - I want my health and menatlity) but there is nobody else ... I don't really want to sit in the corner of the field on my own every break and lunch and be an ever bigger freak!

You're not a freak at all *hug*

thanks!

Hi

If they have a problem with you praactising, its their loss. They should learn from you! Some people at my school think its weird and everything to practise for ages but I ignore them. They don't know how graet music is! I have both musical and non musical friends. My non musical friends are really supportive of me, they are really sweet to me before exams etc. Just remember that non musical people are great people to hang out with too! I've got really close to musical friends this year- we see a lot more of each other as I do more music now.

Why not see If there are any bands/orchestras you can join in your county?
I joined bedford county 2nd band and its great. You get to see loads of musical people and no one is branded as geek etc. Everyone is themselves. Plus, you get to play music in the holidays and make new friends who understand about music.

My friends went through that stage a while ago. Luckily, we are all now mature enough to accept my church choir-going, and my friend's Highland dancing, and my other friend's obsession with St John Cadets.... I sometimes think that if we didn't all meet up at school, we wouldn't be able to stay friends, but it does add variety to life!
I have a few musical friends but no really close friends - my best friends are all non-musical.

EDIT: Just realised, this isn't exactly helpful advice or anything.... but..... you're not alone, and you're not a freak!

I do play in loads of bands, sing in choirs etc but they all have an exam break now so I won't see anyonebody. My musical people are oK out of school but I never get to see them in school and they all have their own best frineds now.

i'm in a miserable mood today so maybe i'll go and practice to cheer myself now!

practiced for a bit so feeling better ... just going back to do some more but decided to update you so you don't think i'm still feeling miserable!

Thanks for updating us..I agree, they should be able to accept you like music, it is their loss of a good friend otherwise

Sorry Welshy, but if your friends are drinking maybe they're not the kind of people to hang out with...maybe.
Don't worry, the "lame" thing will fizzle out because GCSEs will arrive and people will care about things which aren't cool, well most will anyway. If they don't, my above comment is true. But don't worry yet - do your own thing, you know it's best and other people will respect you for it later on, when all your friends will have is AA meetings

My friends both play the piano and understand me playing my instruments

I've been lucky enough to have friends that have accepted that music is a part of my life right from the off, also they know that I'm likely to go off on one if they say anything against it . Plus, a couple of them do play instruments, and a couple of them have reached grade 5/6 standard and understand about practice stuff. Have you ever tried wandering down to the music dept. at breaks and lunch and see who's around?

I used to get the same reaction you seem to be getting - all my friends used to almost fall out with me because I had a lesson when they wanted to go down town, or I didn't want to come to the phone because I was on the middle of a piece. In fact, my old best friend stopped coming with me for lunch, and stopped speaking to me because I couldn't meet up on saturdays due to music, and I rarely speak to her now. I used to wish I didn't do so much, but now I don't regret anything. All my friends understand what it means to me, and they support that now. It must be hard to see why people get so obsessed over a musical instrument if you don't play one! My friends now see how much practice does help and now they are practicing more!

I love my friends and my music!!!

luckily i have a few friends in school understand me and most of them are musicians but there are like lots of people saying that i am sad and things like that but they are just jealous that i could do something that they can't do.

Nearly all my friends are aristocratic people.
Their niche areas are singing, dancing, acting in dramas, operas and musician.
I'm glad that I'm fortunate enough to have nice friends with the same interests as me.
They often compliment me on my piano skills and music knowledge.
Instead of looking at me like some "alien", my friends envy me.
So, I grateful for such great friends!

What I find amazing is that people are often quite willing to take on board the fact that a swimmer or an athlete needs to put in lots of hours of practice. For example, I teach a girl who wants to be in the next olympics (equestrian stuff!). All of her friends think it is totally normal for her to go horse-riding before and after school most days, and to spend most of her weekends doing events.
Yet somehow these people don't think that a seriously-ambitious musician might need to put in the same number of hours of practise (both solo and in groups/orchestras).

As a (proud) Mum, I am sooooooooo glad that my daughter has a group of friends which includes dancers, musicians, sporty-types and actresses - they all have their "thing" that they are serious about, and they accept the need to devote time to these skills.

Please don't do what I did....dropping music as a teenager because I thought I didn't have enough time! Keep going - follow your passion! Music will never let you down.

ClarinetCymraeg, have a look at the Music geeks and nerds thread which ran a while ago. You'll find there are alot of us in the same situation, surrounded by people who don't understand.

Don't worry I'm never going to give up music 'cos of my frineds.

Will try to get better ones as my friends all want to be hair dressers when they are older and do not understand me. Thank you for all the advice.

Will make them all jealous when Im famous and respected and they are homeless and going to AA meetings!

Thanks

WelshClarinet

That's the spirit. Actually - I suspect they are already a bit jealous - because you have something special that they don't understand. Keep hold of the thought that you have that something. And drop in here to the forums from time to time - plenty of us here who don't run with the crowd!

Hiya,

Yeh I get that problem, my friends used to support me but not any more, they have become lazy and I have picked it up more. They are always telling me to stop practicing but if I did stop practicing and didn't do it at all then that defeats the point in having an instrument and a private tutor if all you are going to do is turn up to your lesson and thats it.
No carry on with what you are doing. You are doing what you think is best and that is all that matters.

Hope this helps, I'm in the same position but I get a lot of support from my teachers which is great!

Annetta

My friends have learnt to accept my 'obsessive' moments when it comes to music. They just learn to listen to my occasional rants about a new piece or put up with my perfectionism. But come to think of it, I'm not the worse one. I've got a friend who's totally 100 percent music obsessed and they have to deal with him too so it's enough.

I don't really have that problem anymore because I am at a music school now!!! But at my previous school, for 2 and a bit years I was branded a geek and everyone was really horrible because I was always doing music etc and then I found a group of amazing people who even though none of them are musicians all joke about my obsession in a friendly way and support me. Though I'm at a music school now, I still see them all when I go home. Don't worry - it will get better!!

I have very little in common with most of my friends actually, besides superficial (but great!) things like shopping. None of them are into music, or even literature which is something else I like a lot. They are way more into getting drunk etc. than me but in general I find them fun to be around so I just try and avoid talking about music and stuff. It does kind of annoy me when they're not really interested in something that's such a major part of my life, but hopefully at university I'll meet people more like me. They get a bit cross when I spend lunchtime practising instead of having lunch with them; I have to try and remind myself that they might like to see me once in a while. I feel kind of guilty that I know if I had to choose between them and music, they probably wouldn't be first.

As much as I love all my friends, I worked out about 2 years ago that they may listen to me rabbit on about music, but they aren't very interested - so I stopped talking about it. they were round at mine for my birthday last week and my Mum mentioned something and my friends were like "Kate you don't tell us anything!". I can't win either way I don't know about when I go to Uni... I might get stir-crazy if I only socialise with musicians...