Granted: but it's not your idea of decent

I wish my dog would go to sleep

Granted: he will never wake up again.


I wish my freind hadn't injured his hand (Now I have to be the first reserve on Sports day, If anyone doesnm't turn up, I'll be filling in.!)

Granted. Three other people are off sick and you're in the team anyway.

I wish my piano exam was over

Granted, but you are going to have the worst result ever (Sorry )

I wish I could play Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu...

granted but it's the only thing you can play and you soon get sick of it!

I wish I could ski better

Granted: But you are now not allowed to do anything else.


I wish my Rat Blizzard would come to me as quickly as Thunder (My other Rat) does at the moment.

Granted: Thunder suddenly begins to move very slowly

I wish I knew who i loved instead of being confused all the time

Granted: You are now middle-aged, grey haired and wrinkly, as is the person who is the object of your affections.

I wish I could rule the world

Granted: You are now God and have to listen to prayers for the rest of your life in your heaed (I'm thinking Bruce Almighty!)

I wish i could sing in tune!

Granted But you now cannot play any of your instruments and have to relearn them all

I wish i had an alto flute

Granted: You can't play it

I wish i could be a bit more tidy!

Granted: You sing beautifully in tune. It is 1912 and you are singing Nearer my god with the band on the Titanic.

I wish my garden would have a TV makeover!

Granted: Unfortunately, it catches fire the following morning.


I wish the computer in my bedroom worked (I'm currently using the downstairs one)

Granted: But now the downstairs one doesn't work.


I wish Spain had won France in the knockouts of the world cup.

granted: It got decided after the game that France got all three of their goals disallowed, meaning that Spain won 1-0 with David Villa's penalty, but France lost in the final

I wish this plaster can come off my arm

Car Expert

Granted: You now have it on your leg

I wish i did better in my science test today

granted but you'll fail all your science tests to come...

i wish...my prom dress was a teeny bit shorter (ie didnt drape on the floor)

Granted, but it shrunk in the wash and is now also a teeny bit tighter and doesn't fit any more.

I wish my Trinity certificate would come

Granted. In keeping with the previous mistakes, your ATCL pass certificate will arrive tomorrow.

I wish it wasn't quite so hot.

granted. we are now in minus degrees c.... brr.

i wish my computer would tell me the train times i am trying to find out!

Granted but there are engineering works on the line and the train won't run.

I wish I could make Yahoo Mail behave

granted: but no other website will

i wish train tickets were cheaper

Granted, but now the trains move at one mile an hour in order to save energy.

I wish I didn't have writer's block, (I.E I have no idea what to write next in my book, I'm a bit stuck as to what to do with these two Cynodonts which have to be there and so i can't get rid of.))

Granted - you now know exactly what to write, but unfortunately you have lost the rest of the book, so have to start again

I wish my tutor wasn't leaving in 3 weeks

(By the way - Mushroom - what are "Cynodonts"?)

Granted: your tutor doesn't leave, but you move house and have to find a new tutor anyway.

I wish I could lose weight

Granted, but now you hate your hair.

I wish I was more organised.

Granted: you tidy everything away and put everything in order, but you just can't remember where..?
I wish I could play my Grade 5 pieces brilliantly!

Granted you get 29,28.29. Pity you can't site read for love nor money!

I wish I could score 29,28,29 for my grade 5 pieces.

Granted, unfortunately you fail your scales, aurals, and sightreading.

I wish England had won the match today.

Granted, England won the Crown Green Bowling match at Rotherham this afternoon. (no - just kidding)

I wish I could find a tenor recorder I can play comfortably

But it's far too expensive.

I wish I could play viola really well.

Granted, but you now sing like a horse neighing

I wish I could get Nicki and Rainbow to be more positive

I do anyway!



But then we'd burn your pointy stick!

I wish that someone would get rid of OFSTED inspections.

Granted. Rubbish teachers who can't plan a lesson or control a class, and managed by useless Head Teachers who have lost the plot, are let loose in schools with no-one to stop them or check how the pupils are faring under their leadership.

I wish I could think of a wish

Granted: you can now think of lots of wishes but unfortunately you only had one wish and it's already been granted!

I wish I had good eyesight and didn't need to wear glasses

Granted, you are now deaf.


I wish I could work out the plot for a book I want to write (It involves a monster that doesn't exist and hence can't be killed, and 10 universes.)

Granted, you spend 5 years writing the book perfectly, then you send it to the publishers, knowing it is likely to get published, but unfortunately it gets lost in the post, and you have to start again

I wish I didn't have to tidy my bedroom

Granted, you now don't have a bedrom.

I wish that Granted, you spend 5 years writing the book perfectly, then you send it to the publishers, knowing it is likely to get published, but unfrotunately it gets lost in the post, and you have to start again

I wish My football didn't have a puncture (It took me ages to find it, now I have to keep blowiung it up, it's inflatable.)

granted, now it is healed but frequently ascends to heaven requiring a large crane to lift it down

I wish that had more wellington boots

Granted: you now have over 2000 wellington boots, but they're all for the left foot so you can't wear them.

I wish I could win the London Marathon!

Granted: Unfortunately you did it in a car and so your attemtpt was dissalowed.

I wish that I was in set 1 for English and Drama (They have a better teacher, and I know more people in the class.)

Granted, and set 1 all get kidnapped by a cover teacher.

I wish the sixth former who arranges for our school orchestra to write decent parts for the clarinets( the largest and most reliable section!)

Granted: Unfortunately you are the only person that turns up for all concerts from now on!

I wish that School didn't start so early.

Granted but it would end laaaaaaaaaaaaaaate at night...

I wish my young sister stops playing at my dear piano...

Granted. She now has her own piano which is better than yours.

I wish I was more efficient at learning new pieces.

Granted. I now have seventeen more accompaniments I need you to do at the next concert. In a fortnight's time.

I wish I didn't have hayfever

Granted. You now have a cold.

I wish I could reach more than an octave on the piano.

Granted. Now your hands are to big to comfortably play your flute.

I wish I could decide what to make for tea.

Granted: you plan an elaborate meal, but unfortunately there's a power cut so you can't cook it.

I wish I could play the piano

That sort of happened to me once, except I had a microwave meal for my tea and a thunderstorm took out the local sub station.