I can do some of my best faces in it and that always frightens the audience.
I have no idea about the terrapin. As party jester I thought you'd know.
Full Version: Old Ladies' Traditional Values Association
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It's only an aria Lidd. It isn't something that I am really going to do.you old fool I just like the song.
I can do some of my best faces in it and that always frightens the audience.
I have no idea about the terrapin. As party jester I thought you'd know.
I can do some of my best faces in it and that always frightens the audience.
I have no idea about the terrapin. As party jester I thought you'd know.
Oh...right..daft old bag gel ain't I??
Dunno about the terrapin...
Why did the 'orse cross the road?
Cos 'e saw the zebra crossin'!!!!!
We can take that to the jungle wiv us ay darlin'? Tell the animals a joke or two.. Talkin' abaht jokes...where's May gorn agen?
Bin a good day ain't it darlin'? The Coal-Bunkers did good diddun we? Me Tiddles won the dog show, I got us a trip ta Bognor and Philma won the Bearded lady contest. A good time was 'ad by all ay Add?
Dyin' for a cuppa tea darlin'. That May's cakes got stuck ta the roof of me mouf darlin'. Make good plaster fer me walls it would. Fancy a cuppa do ya sweet?
Dunno about the terrapin...
Why did the 'orse cross the road?
Cos 'e saw the zebra crossin'!!!!!
We can take that to the jungle wiv us ay darlin'? Tell the animals a joke or two.. Talkin' abaht jokes...where's May gorn agen?
Bin a good day ain't it darlin'? The Coal-Bunkers did good diddun we? Me Tiddles won the dog show, I got us a trip ta Bognor and Philma won the Bearded lady contest. A good time was 'ad by all ay Add?
Dyin' for a cuppa tea darlin'. That May's cakes got stuck ta the roof of me mouf darlin'. Make good plaster fer me walls it would. Fancy a cuppa do ya sweet?
I'd love a cup of tea after all of that work. We can run the metal detector over the field tomorrow to collect any coins and jewelry that the crowds lost and then take them to the local police station pawn shop. Your bog holiday should be fun.
As to the terrapin, he crossed the road because he could! It is in the nature of terrapins to cross roads, but it begs the question of whether the terrapin did indeed cross the road or if it was simply that the road moved beneath the terrapin. Oh Lidd. I've had a hard day and I've lost it!
Shall I just sing again instead?
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the terrapin sleeps tonight.
As to the terrapin, he crossed the road because he could! It is in the nature of terrapins to cross roads, but it begs the question of whether the terrapin did indeed cross the road or if it was simply that the road moved beneath the terrapin. Oh Lidd. I've had a hard day and I've lost it!
Shall I just sing again instead?
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the terrapin sleeps tonight.
Hehehe..you lost the plot darlin'!!!!
Put the kettle on then cos.....
"I'm on me way, I'm on me way, I'm on me way, I'm on me way....
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO wim away.........!!!"
Put the kettle on then cos.....
"I'm on me way, I'm on me way, I'm on me way, I'm on me way....
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO wim away.........!!!"
So tell me about this here holiday Lidd. Where is this bog place? It isn't near a safari is it? I don't think that I could cope with two lots of snakes. Tigers and lions perhaps, but not snakes. I may be developing Ophidiophobia. That reminds me, I think that I may have an old Ophiclide in the loft. I had one to play with as a toddler but the holes were too big for my fingers then. I'll have a look for it tomorrow perhaps. That'll keep the bunnies of my veg plot.
Fig roll Lidd?
Fig roll Lidd?
Adde darlin' me old swee'eart!! I don't believe ya don't know nuffink abaht Bognor Regis, darlin'!
It's on the Souf coast innit? It's fulla old people likeyou and me May and Summat Else. We can 'ave our chips on the beach and watch our 'at's bein' blown away by a force 10 gale. We'll catch noo monia cos it's so damn cold and wet. Better than a safary any day of the week, deary. An' all Larry will 'ave ta say is "Ice cream vendor, away with you!" It'll be smashin' darlin' it reely will.
D'ya know the best fing Adde? We can go to the big ball room an' 'ave a song an' dance while the bloke plays on 'is big organ!! Be grand won't it??
What d'ya say then Adde?? Ya comin' ta Bognor wiv ya pal Adde? Are ya Adde?
Just one more fig roll sweet. Ta darlin'. They can go right froo me sometimes if ya get me drift.
'Ere Adde...what's an offi doffy fing then?
It's on the Souf coast innit? It's fulla old people like
D'ya know the best fing Adde? We can go to the big ball room an' 'ave a song an' dance while the bloke plays on 'is big organ!! Be grand won't it??
What d'ya say then Adde?? Ya comin' ta Bognor wiv ya pal Adde? Are ya Adde?
Just one more fig roll sweet. Ta darlin'. They can go right froo me sometimes if ya get me drift.
'Ere Adde...what's an offi doffy fing then?
I have heard of Bognor after all! I remember now. It sounds like a fun holiday with our hats blowing about on the sand and ice creams by the sea, and no wild animals to frighten the lives out of us.
An ophiclide is a musical instrument a bit like some ot the other things that I blow, with a trumpet sort of a top and a big drainpipe body that is bent into the shape of a snake. If you blow really hard all the cows in the field three away from mine come up to the fence to listen. Shall I take it to Leeds and get that Harry Parry to write a solo for it in that jazz band of his Lidd? It would add a certain touch of class and dignity to the day I think.
What did you think of Great May's rat coming second in the dog show today? Good eh! A pity about your Tiddles trying to make friends with it though. He scared the poor thing and I don't think that May was too amused. He reminded me of my dear departed Ratner. He was a rat and a half and no mistake.
Here Lidd, have a mustard cream instead of another fig roll. They taste a bit strong. I may have misread the recipe book.
An ophiclide is a musical instrument a bit like some ot the other things that I blow, with a trumpet sort of a top and a big drainpipe body that is bent into the shape of a snake. If you blow really hard all the cows in the field three away from mine come up to the fence to listen. Shall I take it to Leeds and get that Harry Parry to write a solo for it in that jazz band of his Lidd?
It would add a certain touch of class and dignity to the day I think.What did you think of Great May's rat coming second in the dog show today? Good eh! A pity about your Tiddles trying to make friends with it though. He scared the poor thing and I don't think that May was too amused. He reminded me of my dear departed Ratner. He was a rat and a half and no mistake.
Here Lidd, have a mustard cream instead of another fig roll. They taste a bit strong. I may have misread the recipe book.
Stroof Adde! You're right clever an' no mistake!! 'Ow comes ya know all abaht fings ta blow in?? Yeah..bring it ta Leeds darlin'. Sahnds like the day needs a bitta class. I'm gonna watch that fella on Sundy play the organ. You comin' or will ya be at 'ome by then? I won't arf miss ya when ya gorn Adde. Is May comin' ta Leeds or what?? She's gorn agen. Fancy 'avin' a par'y and not bein' there more than five minutes. Rood Adde that's what it is innit? Tiddles got bit by May's ratty fing. 'Is poor little face 'as come up like a bloomin' 'amster. Poor Tiddles. I'll splat that rat wiv me bat.
Can't eat no more Adde ta all the same. I'll 'ave anuvver panad though if ya brewin' one darlin'. Ta everso.
Can't eat no more Adde ta all the same. I'll 'ave anuvver panad though if ya brewin' one darlin'. Ta everso.
I'd love to watch that fellow playing with his organ on the Sunday but I think that my old Dobbin, and Eddie will want me home again. If I'm coming to Bognor and going on a safari, and going to Spain too I'll have to spend some time at home with them, poor things. They'll forget who their mam is.
Ay Lidd, shall we tell that Harry that we want to play kazoos in his jazz band? And how about combs and papers in his grand finale? That'll make it a bit less grand won't it? I do a mean "The Lass of Richmond's Ill" on a Saturday in the Camel.
Poor old Tiddles and his hamster face. Did you have to get him to the vet? May was at the Wedding's Off But It Might Turn Into A Wedding's Back On Again But It Didn't Party, but she spent most of the day galloping about on Eddie with a drain rod in her hand charging at those thong things on the revolving washing line yelling nasty things about MaudEEEE. She gained quite a few points too, but we forgot to tell her that points didn't mean prizes so she got nowt at the end of it.
A good day though all in all Lidd.
Ay Lidd, shall we tell that Harry that we want to play kazoos in his jazz band? And how about combs and papers in his grand finale? That'll make it a bit less grand won't it?
I do a mean "The Lass of Richmond's Ill" on a Saturday in the Camel. Poor old Tiddles and his hamster face. Did you have to get him to the vet? May was at the Wedding's Off But It Might Turn Into A Wedding's Back On Again But It Didn't Party, but she spent most of the day galloping about on Eddie with a drain rod in her hand charging at those thong things on the revolving washing line yelling nasty things about MaudEEEE. She gained quite a few points too, but we forgot to tell her that points didn't mean prizes so she got nowt at the end of it.
A good day though all in all Lidd.
Ohhhhhhhh I've had a fantastic day girls. I loved the jousting with all the undies that Addy got, ( and would have had much more fun if my blessed hubby hadn't hogged the computer until 11.00pm 
sorry)
So then, a little sojourn to Bognor Roll, before we go orf to Africa. Remember Out of Africa girls, we might meet a "Robert Redford" there
Don't know if Rusty Bucket is coming or not, being as he didn't turn up to the party Still, at least Clarry has got away from Lil the Thrill.
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, I am so tired after all that jousting, and I won't be able to move tomorrow. Never mind
A small nightcap anyone??
May. xxx
sorry)So then, a little sojourn to Bognor Roll, before we go orf to Africa. Remember Out of Africa girls, we might meet a "Robert Redford" there
Don't know if Rusty Bucket is coming or not, being as he didn't turn up to the party
Still, at least Clarry has got away from Lil the Thrill.ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, I am so tired after all that jousting, and I won't be able to move tomorrow. Never mind
A small nightcap anyone??May. xxx
Oh..no wonder I diddun see MayEEEEE! I didun get a chance ta go to the washin' line. I was too busy frowin' balls at the coconuts pretendin' they were Rusty Bucket's head!!!! I'm not a violent person as you know AddEEEEEE but bein' jilted is the worst fing what can 'appen to a sensitive person such as meself innit? Still, we got our trip ta Bognor diddun we darlin'? What more could we ask ay?
I'm takin' Tiddles tomorrer, but I may just stick a pin in the boil meself. My old mum used ta say "Ya won't never see a vet beggin' on the street, Liddy." She's right an' all aint she? Bloomin' expensive they are.
I got one a Berts old combs. I'll bring it along and we can 'ave a laff!! I'll blow all the dandy ruff over MaudEEEEEEEEE!!!
Ah well, I'm off ta me bed. Losin' that hour sends me clock all over the place. Does it you AddEEEEEEEEEEEE?
Naught nacht darlin'.
Ta everso for a good day sweet.
Love LiddEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! xx
I'm not a violent person as you know AddEEEEEE but bein' jilted is the worst fing what can 'appen to a sensitive person such as meself innit? Still, we got our trip ta Bognor diddun we darlin'? What more could we ask ay?I'm takin' Tiddles tomorrer, but I may just stick a pin in the boil meself. My old mum used ta say "Ya won't never see a vet beggin' on the street, Liddy." She's right an' all aint she? Bloomin' expensive they are.
I got one a Berts old combs. I'll bring it along and we can 'ave a laff!! I'll blow all the dandy ruff over MaudEEEEEEEEE!!!
Ah well, I'm off ta me bed. Losin' that hour sends me clock all over the place. Does it you AddEEEEEEEEEEEE?
Naught nacht darlin'.
Ta everso for a good day sweet.
Love LiddEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! xx
Hello Great May. On the booze again are you Dear? Ah well. I suppost that if your liver has lasted this long a few more won't do it much harm.
Liddy has been on the E numbers. Things like that affect a lass when she's been jilted.
I think that my clock is all over the place too 'cause it feels like around nine o'clock here. Must be because my passport has run out.
I think that I need a good sleep, I really do. I have never talked such rubbish in all of my life, except in my viva voceseveral decades a few years ago.
Bonan nokton Lidd.
Liddy has been on the E numbers. Things like that affect a lass when she's been jilted.
I think that my clock is all over the place too 'cause it feels like around nine o'clock here. Must be because my passport has run out.
I think that I need a good sleep, I really do. I have never talked such rubbish in all of my life, except in my viva voce
Bonan nokton Lidd.
AAaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhh I can't move. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, my poor oldmuscles. I need a hot bath and a good rub down.
Better get back in the saddle then, that's the only way to get rid of it. Anyone for a ride?? It's a lovely day.
Are you awake yet girls??
May.
Better get back in the saddle then, that's the only way to get rid of it. Anyone for a ride?? It's a lovely day.
Are you awake yet girls??
May.
I've been awake ages! I saw my osteopath after being shoved over by you lot at the party. No wonder I didn't say much, I spent most of the night sparked-out due to the bump on me head.
Now as its spring weather I must do some pottering in the garden. I'm going to plant some lovley spiky flowers so those lad who keep plonking their football on me flower-bed know what's hit 'em. Never before have I wanted to plant berberis, but it is very tempting...'specially now I've got me new gardening gloves.
Then its baking week. I've got to get some cakes done for a church function at the local manor house. so come sund'y I'll be on me best behaviour and I'll have to keep the great-grandchildren in order.
More than I've been able to do wi' my snowy. The sheik who owned that stallion reported that he'd leapt the fence and was in snowy' s field. Now I know she was in season so if she's not got a stomach the size of a barrell in a few months I'll be surprised.
I managed to get a hat for the safari this weekend. Me grandson says I loke like a female version of the indiana jones fella in it.
Now as its spring weather I must do some pottering in the garden. I'm going to plant some lovley spiky flowers so those lad who keep plonking their football on me flower-bed know what's hit 'em. Never before have I wanted to plant berberis, but it is very tempting...'specially now I've got me new gardening gloves.
Then its baking week. I've got to get some cakes done for a church function at the local manor house. so come sund'y I'll be on me best behaviour and I'll have to keep the great-grandchildren in order.
More than I've been able to do wi' my snowy. The sheik who owned that stallion reported that he'd leapt the fence and was in snowy' s field. Now I know she was in season so if she's not got a stomach the size of a barrell in a few months I'll be surprised.
I managed to get a hat for the safari this weekend. Me grandson says I loke like a female version of the indiana jones fella in it.
Yoo hoo ladies!!! How are we on this fine day? Poor old Maye!! Fahnd muscles ya never noo you 'ad ay darlin'?! Bet that poor 'orse is breavin' a sigh of relief an' all!
What luvverly wevver we 'ad taday! I bin in me garden and got meself a red nose and burnt arms. Ain't arf sore. Fings we do ta get a tan. I'm gonna be in Leeds wiv me nose all peelin' and everyfink. I dunno...
Stoopid postman put a letter frew me door. "Mr Turvey" Who's that then? Reminded me of old Topsy Turvey. Remember 'er do ya Add? I fink she went orf wiv Tumblin' Tom from the circus.
Ah well..can't sit 'ere all night. I gotta go aht agen. Some poor soul wants a piana lesson.
Laters darlin's
Lidd XXXXXXXXXX
What luvverly wevver we 'ad taday! I bin in me garden and got meself a red nose and burnt arms. Ain't arf sore. Fings we do ta get a tan. I'm gonna be in Leeds wiv me nose all peelin' and everyfink. I dunno...
Stoopid postman put a letter frew me door. "Mr Turvey" Who's that then? Reminded me of old Topsy Turvey. Remember 'er do ya Add? I fink she went orf wiv Tumblin' Tom from the circus.
Ah well..can't sit 'ere all night. I gotta go aht agen. Some poor soul wants a piana lesson.
Laters darlin's
Lidd XXXXXXXXXX
I know who that Mr. Turvey person is Lidd. He is called Donald Francis Turvey and he wrote a cello concerto that no one knows and nobody ever plays any more. He died in 1940 though so I expect that is why his letter came to you instead.
I've been working on our song for Leeds today Lidd. I hope that Great May will be able to come too. Flippin' funny sort of a trio if there are only two of us! Perhaps we could get Harry Parry to dress up as May and take her place. What do you think Lidd? He does look quite like her and he could borrow her clothes and those dreadful red shoes that she insists on wearing.
I've been busy getting some music ready for Spain too Lidd. I searched through a whole pile of oldrubbish music to decide what to perform. I bet that they'd like my Suicidio number, and by terrapin song, not to mention my beloved Hovis Angelicus.
That Summat Else is having trouble with her old moke. Not quite so snowy now is she?
Ah well, perhaps she'll use the baby mule for keeping those brats out of her garden.
Have you got a hat ready for Leeds yet Lidd? I fancy a new one. Something to really show off my pink rinse. How about a purple one with a few of those crotchety flowers on it? That would look good I think.
I've been working on our song for Leeds today Lidd. I hope that Great May will be able to come too. Flippin' funny sort of a trio if there are only two of us! Perhaps we could get Harry Parry to dress up as May and take her place. What do you think Lidd? He does look quite like her and he could borrow her clothes and those dreadful red shoes that she insists on wearing.
I've been busy getting some music ready for Spain too Lidd. I searched through a whole pile of old
That Summat Else is having trouble with her old moke. Not quite so snowy now is she?
Ah well, perhaps she'll use the baby mule for keeping those brats out of her garden.
Have you got a hat ready for Leeds yet Lidd? I fancy a new one. Something to really show off my pink rinse. How about a purple one with a few of those crotchety flowers on it? That would look good I think.
'Ello sweet. Ya sahnd right busy Adde ya reely do. All them songs- stroof I dunno 'ow ya do it I reely reely don't Adde, and that ain't no lie Adde it reely isn't. D'ya reckon Larry could 'it the 'igh notes if Maye don't come ta Leeds Adde? You'll 'ave ta stick a pin in 'im at the right moment ay darlin'? Or we could always bring me Tiddles-'e did a fine job of the top F when I trod on 'is tail. Ya won't be goin' no higher than that F will ya Adde? What we singin' then? You's gonna tell me or ya's keepin' it to yaself then sweet?
Dunno abaht me 'at yet darlin'. I feel sad lookin' at the one wiv me Wiggy on. Can't I wear that again Adde? S'ppose I 'ave ta move wiv the times an' fink of summink else.
Cor all these trips we's goin' on. We'll be like that Michael Railing fella off the telly, though you look more like Alan Whisker wiv ya beard an' all. Why diddun ya do ya chin yesterdy Adde? I did mine. I got some cream left if ya want it darlin'.
Ah well...I'm gonna shock meself an' ave a baff. I gotta map to the baffroom and instrucshuns ta tell me what tap ta use. Gotta mind me sunburn though Adde. I look like a gotta bloomin' great tomater growin' on the end of me nose. Don't arf 'urt I'm tellin' ya straight.
Nichty nark darlin'.
Lidde XXXXXX
Dunno abaht me 'at yet darlin'. I feel sad lookin' at the one wiv me Wiggy on. Can't I wear that again Adde? S'ppose I 'ave ta move wiv the times an' fink of summink else.
Cor all these trips we's goin' on. We'll be like that Michael Railing fella off the telly, though you look more like Alan Whisker wiv ya beard an' all. Why diddun ya do ya chin yesterdy Adde? I did mine. I got some cream left if ya want it darlin'.
Ah well...I'm gonna shock meself an' ave a baff. I gotta map to the baffroom and instrucshuns ta tell me what tap ta use. Gotta mind me sunburn though Adde. I look like a gotta bloomin' great tomater growin' on the end of me nose. Don't arf 'urt I'm tellin' ya straight.
Nichty nark darlin'.
Lidde XXXXXX
Higher than an F Lidd? Well, thanks for the idea. I hadn't planned to but now I might. I've got a good, loud one you know. It is the talk of the Purple Camel Upstairs.
I'll let you see our song in secret. Ill bung a copy inside of your napkin next time you drop in for tea. You'll have to give the special password though, otherwise it might go to a spy! We don't want anyone to see it before Leeds. It would spoil the shock surprise.
I'n not off to bed yet as I am still working on a piece of music for this Eisteddfod thing. Got to win something this year as I need the money for my supply of baked beans over the winter.
Your wiggy hat will do fine by the way.
I'll let you see our song in secret. Ill bung a copy inside of your napkin next time you drop in for tea. You'll have to give the special password though, otherwise it might go to a spy!
We don't want anyone to see it before Leeds. It would spoil the I'n not off to bed yet as I am still working on a piece of music for this Eisteddfod thing. Got to win something this year as I need the money for my supply of baked beans over the winter.
Your wiggy hat will do fine by the way.
Do you mean to say you are not having a whole new outfit from Harvey Nics?? 
Lidd, they do a lovely hat in Claridges. Maybe you could get one there I can see you in something with cherries on, and maybe a stuffed ferret. Addy seems more of a sailor hat girl, with some linen,wide legged navy trousers
Is Something Else coming to Leeds?? What will you wear Elsie, maybe an outift from your jungle wardrobe.
May.
Lidd, they do a lovely hat in Claridges. Maybe you could get one there I can see you in something with cherries on, and maybe a stuffed ferret. Addy seems more of a sailor hat girl, with some linen,wide legged navy trousers Is Something Else coming to Leeds?? What will you wear Elsie, maybe an outift from your jungle wardrobe.
May.
Watcha Great May. Cherries and a ferret? That's MY favourite hat. Lidd can't get one the same, it was a design of mine for me alone. The very idea!
I don't think that Summat Else is coming to Leeds. She had a pregnant donkey to look after and some grandchildren too and she is too busy,
And where did you get the sailor girl Idea May? I may live on an island but a seabird I am not. Give me a hill any day May.
Where are you Lidd? Great May thinks that we should be getting our outfits from Harvey Smith or someone like that. Does she not know how poor we are these days? Where she gets her money from I don't know, or want to really, but she always seems to have plenty. Do you remember her telling us that she was penniless not so long ago Lidd? I think that she may be a gambler on the quiet.
I don't think that Summat Else is coming to Leeds. She had a pregnant donkey to look after and some grandchildren too and she is too busy,
And where did you get the sailor girl Idea May? I may live on an island but a seabird I am not. Give me a hill any day May.
Where are you Lidd? Great May thinks that we should be getting our outfits from Harvey Smith or someone like that. Does she not know how poor we are these days? Where she gets her money from I don't know, or want to really, but she always seems to have plenty. Do you remember her telling us that she was penniless not so long ago Lidd? I think that she may be a gambler on the quiet.
Ahoy there Addy!!! I can see ya in ya sailor rigout darlin'!!! You gonna dance the Hosepipe at Leeds then swee'eart. Don't worry yaself gel...I don't want no hat wiv no ferret on. I sorted summink aht this afternoon an' it looks smashin' it reely does. You could go wiv Barnacle Bill Adde. Only I 'ear 'e's got barnacles where barnacles diddun oughta be.
Ooh- fancy 'avin' a pregnant donkey. Was bad enuff when my Tiddles got Little Missy expectant wiv kittens Adde. 'Ad 'em on me kitchen floor she did. Yuk Adde, is all I can say darlin'.
I got me outfit an' all. Mrs Plum-in-me-Mouf up the road got ridda some right posh stuff. Got meself a nice sofa I'm gonna take apart cos I like the material. Luvverly swirly Payslee pattern it is. She's got some posh curtains an' all May, if you's still lookin' fer summink ta wear. Dunno where May get's 'er money from Adde I reely don't. Makes ya wonder don't it? I fought 'er 'usband/bruvver/nephew/farver/lover 'Udson was back agen.
'Ere- some cheeky young fing come up ta me taday an' said "Oi missus! Red nose day was last week!" Bloomin' young tike ay? I can't 'elp avin' sunburn on me nose. Ain't no dissyplin arahnd nowdays is there?
Anyways, anyone fancy a cuppa? I got some drop scones to try tonight. Got 'em out the oven and dropped the lot. Still, if ya brush the cat's 'airs and mud off 'em, you'd never know.
Liddexx
Ooh- fancy 'avin' a pregnant donkey. Was bad enuff when my Tiddles got Little Missy expectant wiv kittens Adde. 'Ad 'em on me kitchen floor she did. Yuk Adde, is all I can say darlin'.
I got me outfit an' all. Mrs Plum-in-me-Mouf up the road got ridda some right posh stuff. Got meself a nice sofa I'm gonna take apart cos I like the material. Luvverly swirly Payslee pattern it is. She's got some posh curtains an' all May, if you's still lookin' fer summink ta wear. Dunno where May get's 'er money from Adde I reely don't. Makes ya wonder don't it? I fought 'er 'usband/bruvver/nephew/farver/lover 'Udson was back agen.
'Ere- some cheeky young fing come up ta me taday an' said "Oi missus! Red nose day was last week!" Bloomin' young tike ay? I can't 'elp avin' sunburn on me nose. Ain't no dissyplin arahnd nowdays is there?
Anyways, anyone fancy a cuppa? I got some drop scones to try tonight. Got 'em out the oven and dropped the lot. Still, if ya brush the cat's 'airs and mud off 'em, you'd never know.
Liddexx
QUOTE(appleblossom @ Mar 27 2007, 08:42 PM) 
Ahoy there Addy!!! I can see ya in ya sailor rigout darlin'!!! You gonna dance the Hosepipe at Leeds then swee'eart. Don't worry yaself gel...I don't want no hat wiv no ferret on. I sorted summink aht this afternoon an' it looks smashin' it reely does. You could go wiv Barnacle Bill Adde. Only I 'ear 'e's got barnacles where barnacles diddun oughta be.
Ooh- fancy 'avin' a pregnant donkey. Was bad enuff when my Tiddles got Little Missy expectant wiv kittens Adde. 'Ad 'em on me kitchen floor she did. Yuk Adde, is all I can say darlin'.
I got me outfit an' all. Mrs Plum-in-me-Mouf up the road got ridda some right posh stuff. Got meself a nice sofa I'm gonna take apart cos I like the material. Luvverly swirly Payslee pattern it is. She's got some posh curtains an' all May, if you's still lookin' fer summink ta wear. Dunno where May get's 'er money from Adde I reely don't. Makes ya wonder don't it? I fought 'er 'usband/bruvver/nephew/farver/lover 'Udson was back agen.
'Ere- some cheeky young fing come up ta me taday an' said "Oi missus! Red nose day was last week!" Bloomin' young tike ay? I can't 'elp avin' sunburn on me nose. Ain't no dissyplin arahnd nowdays is there?
Anyways, anyone fancy a cuppa? I got some drop scones to try tonight. Got 'em out the oven and dropped the lot. Still, if ya brush the cat's 'airs and mud off 'em, you'd never know.
Liddexx
Ohh, lovely Lidd, jam and clotted cream anyone?
May.
Jam an' clotted cream??!! Stroof May! I ain't that posh darlin'. Nearest fing I got to cream is that stuff I put on me chin on the Day Of Me Weddin' But It Wasn't The Day of Me Weddin' Cos I Got Jilted So It Wasn't The Day Of Me Weddin' After All.
Dunno what it'll taste like but me chin ain't never looked so smoove. Ya wanna try some do ya May? What d'ya say ay May?
Dunno what it'll taste like but me chin ain't never looked so smoove. Ya wanna try some do ya May? What d'ya say ay May?
Ay girls, dripped scones and clotted cream sounds good. Yes please to several. Is it real clotted cream May, or just some that has gone off a bit? I'll bring some of my strawberry jam and a pot of mustard too.
The sofa cover outfit sounds interesting Lidd. Did you find any coins down the back when youdismantled dis-sofa'd it?
And for your information both of you, I don't do hosepipes, natural hornpipes or drainpipes come to that. I am not into anything nautical. I just like a gallop on the beach on old Dobbin but that is as far as it goes. I am not going to wear anything that would make me look silly. We were quite elegent at Chester and we have our reputations to uphold. So there!
Ay Lidd, i am going to be a proxy granny again soon as my best goose, Maudie, is sitting on nine eggs. (Yes, she really is called Maudie. Nowt ter do wi' th'old baggage from down Horsefaced Loach Lane at all, an all. ) Oh roll on Leeds so that I can give up this York talk rot.
More mustard anyone?
The sofa cover outfit sounds interesting Lidd. Did you find any coins down the back when you
And for your information both of you, I don't do hosepipes, natural hornpipes or drainpipes come to that. I am not into anything nautical. I just like a gallop on the beach on old Dobbin but that is as far as it goes. I am not going to wear anything that would make me look silly. We were quite elegent at Chester and we have our reputations to uphold. So there!
Ay Lidd, i am going to be a proxy granny again soon as my best goose, Maudie, is sitting on nine eggs. (Yes, she really is called Maudie. Nowt ter do wi' th'old baggage from down Horsefaced Loach Lane at all, an all. ) Oh roll on Leeds so that I can give up this York talk rot.
More mustard anyone?
'Ere take it easy Addy darlin'. Ya sahnd a bit uptight me old dook! Is it cos you's gone all poxy agen? Can I be Goodmuvver ta this one then seein' as I ain't gonna be fer the little Idd Riss fella? Nine ay? Stroof- me eyes are waterin' at the fought of it Add they reely are..can ya see the water in me eyes, can ya Add?
I dunno 'ow I managed to 'ave me free bairns when I'm so skweemish. Me Indie might be 'avin' annuver one. Don't 'ang arahnd nowdays do they? Little Noel Coal is only free mumfs old. She wants annuver boy. Wants ta call 'im Joel Coal..poor little love ay?
You'll 'ave Maude after ya agen Adde!!! She can get 'er gander up and no mistake!! Gander!! Gander!! Geddit?
Oh never mind..more hairy scones gels?
I dunno 'ow I managed to 'ave me free bairns when I'm so skweemish. Me Indie might be 'avin' annuver one. Don't 'ang arahnd nowdays do they? Little Noel Coal is only free mumfs old. She wants annuver boy. Wants ta call 'im Joel Coal..poor little love ay?
You'll 'ave Maude after ya agen Adde!!! She can get 'er gander up and no mistake!! Gander!! Gander!! Geddit?
Oh never mind..more hairy scones gels?
Well oi'l know in abat a fortnight if that stallion has sired a hinny or not. Meanwhile I'm keeping Snowy inside. Too much spring grass would only give her laminitis.
Oi really don't know abat Leeds. Oi'd quite like to be there, but its those great-grandchildren. Oi've got to look after them since there mother's been poorly.
Give her a load of Liver and bacon... that ought to sort her out!
Oi really don't know abat Leeds. Oi'd quite like to be there, but its those great-grandchildren. Oi've got to look after them since there mother's been poorly.
Give her a load of Liver and bacon... that ought to sort her out!
'Ere Summat Else! What sort of accent ya got there then??! Sahnds madder than York Talk darlin'! Where ya from swee'eart? Ain't 'eard nuffing like it in me life luvvey I reely 'aven't.
It's a flippin' funny voice if you ask me Lidd. I think that Summat is trying to talk posh and her own true accent is slipping through. Kippers and curtains eh Lidd?
Bung us another hairy dripped scone thing. They go down well with a jug of hot chocolate.
Shall I do my terrapin song Lidd? We could get Great May to sing it too, as a round. What do you think Lidd?
Kippers and curtains eh Lidd? Bung us another hairy dripped scone thing. They go down well with a jug of hot chocolate.
Shall I do my terrapin song Lidd? We could get Great May to sing it too, as a round. What do you think Lidd?
I fink May's gorn agen. As a round of what Add? Toast? Golf? Bingo? Is that ya posh singin' talk agen? Ya's too clever fer me sweet.
I can't talk proper at the minnit- I got cat's 'air stuck to the roof of megob mouf..fetch the hoover Add there's a love.
AAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...don't put it on full power ya great plant pot! I nearly 'ad me face pulled inside aht!
Oooh..I gotta sit dahn fer a minnit..me bestest pal in the weld tried ta do for me...I needs a gin Add and I needs it now...
Errrr...what's a "voive" then Add?!
I can't talk proper at the minnit- I got cat's 'air stuck to the roof of me
AAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...don't put it on full power ya great plant pot! I nearly 'ad me face pulled inside aht!
Oooh..I gotta sit dahn fer a minnit..me bestest pal in the weld tried ta do for me...I needs a gin Add and I needs it now...
Errrr...what's a "voive" then Add?!
A voive is a mis type for whum I wm tired ajf cam't typr properky!
A round is when we all sing together but we start one after another. Actually we always sound like that anyway after an evening at the Camel Upstairs.
Have a pint of gin and ribena Lidd.
A round is when we all sing together but we start one after another. Actually we always sound like that anyway after an evening at the Camel Upstairs.
Have a pint of gin and ribena Lidd.
Oh righto darlin'. Cheers!
'Ere! You'll never guess what, Add! Go on try-I bet ya can't! Ya can't guess can ya darlin'? Shall I tell ya Add cos yous gonna be all night tryin' ta guess. Guess what Add!!
'Ere! You'll never guess what, Add! Go on try-I bet ya can't! Ya can't guess can ya darlin'? Shall I tell ya Add cos yous gonna be all night tryin' ta guess. Guess what Add!!
I know Lidd. You've got a hot date with Harry, you've found a winning lottery ticket, you're going to be on the telly, you are coming to Spain, you are getting engaged to old Dobbin Bert the twirp. Don't know Lidd.
No, no,no darlin'!! I told ya ya wouldn't guess diddun I??! Shall I tell ya then?
OK- I's given ya enuff chances...
I fahnd some buttons what will go wiv me Pays Lee outfit a treat!!! Coulda bin made for it!!! Oh- yeah- they was made for it seein' as I got 'em off Ma Plum-in-me-Mouf's sofa....stoopid ain't I Add?
Any more gin and ginger ale darlin'?
OK- I's given ya enuff chances...
I fahnd some buttons what will go wiv me Pays Lee outfit a treat!!! Coulda bin made for it!!! Oh- yeah- they was made for it seein' as I got 'em off Ma Plum-in-me-Mouf's sofa....stoopid ain't I Add?
Any more gin and ginger ale darlin'?
Well that wasn't very exciting Lidd, after such a build-up. 
I was expecting some earth shattering news of moneumentul oops munimetle oops monyoumentle oops big proportions. i was really excited for a few minutes. Ah well, if you are pleased with your buttons then I am pleased for you. Well, a bit anyway.
Have some more gin, but don't forget to leave some for your porridge in the morning.
Right, I'm off to bed.
Buenas noches Lidd. See. I'm getting my Spanish ready Lidd. I wonder how to say Let the bright terrapin ?
I was expecting some earth shattering news of Have some more gin, but don't forget to leave some for your porridge in the morning.
Right, I'm off to bed.
Buenas noches Lidd. See. I'm getting my Spanish ready Lidd. I wonder how to say Let the bright terrapin ?
I'm pleashed..hic..wiv..me..buttonsh Add..hic..
I fink they says "Letto theo brighto terrapino.." or shomeink...hic..
I'm orf ta shober up..
Might 'ave anuvver baff..hic..shtroof..I musht be drunk..two baffsh thish year..
Addy Oss Addy! Hehehe "Addy Oss Addy!!"
I fink they says "Letto theo brighto terrapino.." or shomeink...hic..
I'm orf ta shober up..
Might 'ave anuvver baff..hic..shtroof..I musht be drunk..two baffsh thish year..
Addy Oss Addy! Hehehe "Addy Oss Addy!!"
Adios Senora Addy. Beunos Nochas Liddy. The only round I like the sound of is the one that includes red/white wine/ scotch. Singing I can do at a pinch. Especially the high notes.
Here Elsie, haven't you got a cellar you can lock the grand-children into , so you can come to Leeds??
Orf to bed now.
Great Aunt May.
Here Elsie, haven't you got a cellar you can lock the grand-children into , so you can come to Leeds??
Orf to bed now.
Great Aunt May.
Oi'm from Caembridgeshire petal. Suck out in them fens. Most people form "up north" foind it strange. Problem is when you go in to Caembridge ya have ta talk posh! Noomarket ain't too bad, except if ya go to the gee-gees on laedies day when ya 'ave ta talk posh, and dress up on smart clothes and a big 'at.
That's right weird and no mistake, Summat Else, darlin'. Yous gonna 'ave ta teach me 'ow ta talk like what you does. Proper English is it swee'eart'? Don't wanna be learnin' 'ow ta talk all wrong do I?
You gonna 'ave ta give me some electricution lessons. Will ya teach me ta talk proper Summat? Will ya Summat? What d'ya say then Summat? What abaht Addy and May an' all? They could do wiv bein' electricuted.
You gonna 'ave ta give me some electricution lessons. Will ya teach me ta talk proper Summat? Will ya Summat? What d'ya say then Summat?
What abaht Addy and May an' all? They could do wiv bein' electricuted.
'Ere ladies..you'll never guess what..well, Addy won't anyway! Guess what!
OK I'll tell ya...
I 'ad a letter from that Rusty taday. Guess what 'e said!
Dear Lidd,
Sorry about the Wedding on Sunday. I was too busy.
Love Rusty St George Bucket.
Too busy?! Too bloomin' busy??! Doin' what? I ask ya. Can ya believe it? First time in me life I ever 'eard of a fella bein' too busy ta get Wed! Ain't no wonder I've hit the gin bottle is it gels??
Oi...where are yous all then? You ain't jilted me an' all 'ave yous? Ah well. More gin fer us ay Tiddles?
OK I'll tell ya...
I 'ad a letter from that Rusty taday. Guess what 'e said!
Dear Lidd,
Sorry about the Wedding on Sunday. I was too busy.
Love Rusty St George Bucket.
Too busy?! Too bloomin' busy??! Doin' what? I ask ya. Can ya believe it? First time in me life I ever 'eard of a fella bein' too busy ta get Wed! Ain't no wonder I've hit the gin bottle is it gels??
Oi...where are yous all then? You ain't jilted me an' all 'ave yous? Ah well. More gin fer us ay Tiddles?
Hi girls, I've had a busy day today getting my tunes ready for Spain! I have eighty-nine pieces including two full length operas and three nursery rhymes in Welsh. What do you think Lidd? Is Spain ready for Addy?
I'm going to do my terrapino songo there too, in my best Spanish.
I am not very impressed with that Bucket-Head's excuse Lidd. A wedding is to be taken more seriously, especially at his time of life! That may well have been his last chance at happiness in his dotage.
Don't waste your time on him Lidd. Had you considered Arthur Spitwell? I know that he was not Great May's panad but you might love him and his insurance pay out.
Any other news?
I'm going to do my terrapino songo there too, in my best Spanish.
I am not very impressed with that Bucket-Head's excuse Lidd. A wedding is to be taken more seriously, especially at his time of life! That may well have been his last chance at happiness in his dotage.
Don't waste your time on him Lidd. Had you considered Arthur Spitwell? I know that he was not Great May's panad but you might love him and his insurance pay out.
Any other news?
You're 'ere at last Addy darlin'. I fought you'd gorn an' fallen dahn the drain or summink. Stroof Add! 'Ow long we goin' ta Spain for then?? Take a lifetime (and let's face it, we ain't got much left at our time a life..) ta sing all them toons!! Can't ya narrer it dahn a bit..to four maybe?
Did ya see Harry's gonna write a toon for me fer Leeds? Never 'ad a toon written for me before. Gotta bash out a few notes on the piana in the jazzy bit. You in the jazzy bit are ya Add? Lavvy wants me ta be a buddy an' all! Any idea what that is then Add? Buddy good idea though innit? Buddy good- geddit? Oh 'ave anuvver gin Tiddles.
That Rusty's lost 'is chance now darlin'. I wouldn't 'ave 'im back if 'e begged me....well, maybe just a little bit. I don't fancy Arfur bloomin' Spitwell Add. Ain't no use marryin' if ya don't fancy 'em issit? I fancied me Iva from the day I set eyes on 'im. I don't arf miss me Iva sometimes, Add, I reely do, I do Add, honest I do. Oh dear...I'm cryin' real tears 'ere, I reely am. Ain't onions strong nowdays? I'm peelin' one ta stick in me steak and kidney pud for tomorrer. Only I ain't got no steak and kidney so's I'm usin' cat food instead. Be alright won't it? I bet old Rusty is sorry now 'e's missin' out on me cookin'!
I'll put the kettle on Add. If I ain't too busy that is..!
Did ya see Harry's gonna write a toon for me fer Leeds? Never 'ad a toon written for me before. Gotta bash out a few notes on the piana in the jazzy bit. You in the jazzy bit are ya Add? Lavvy wants me ta be a buddy an' all! Any idea what that is then Add? Buddy good idea though innit? Buddy good- geddit? Oh 'ave anuvver gin Tiddles.
That Rusty's lost 'is chance now darlin'. I wouldn't 'ave 'im back if 'e begged me....well, maybe just a little bit. I don't fancy Arfur bloomin' Spitwell Add. Ain't no use marryin' if ya don't fancy 'em issit? I fancied me Iva from the day I set eyes on 'im. I don't arf miss me Iva sometimes, Add, I reely do, I do Add, honest I do. Oh dear...I'm cryin' real tears 'ere, I reely am. Ain't onions strong nowdays? I'm peelin' one ta stick in me steak and kidney pud for tomorrer. Only I ain't got no steak and kidney so's I'm usin' cat food instead. Be alright won't it? I bet old Rusty is sorry now 'e's missin' out on me cookin'!
I'll put the kettle on Add. If I ain't too busy that is..!
Morning Lidd. I can't narrow my tune list down any more because I want to keep all of my best numbers in, but they will probably ask me to do an extended concert tour when they hear me this time.
I can't do jazzy bits unless I use my kazoo. I'll tell that Harry to put in a solo just for Add.
Must go, Talk later.
I can't do jazzy bits unless I use my kazoo. I'll tell that Harry to put in a solo just for Add.
Must go, Talk later.
QUOTE(petrat @ Mar 29 2007, 08:18 AM)
I can't do jazzy bits unless I use my kazoo. I'll tell that Harry to put in a solo just for Add.
Must go, Talk later.
is that a bass clef or treble clef kazoo?
QUOTE(barry-clari @ Mar 29 2007, 09:22 AM)
QUOTE(petrat @ Mar 29 2007, 08:18 AM)
I can't do jazzy bits unless I use my kazoo. I'll tell that Harry to put in a solo just for Add.
Must go, Talk later.
is that a bass clef or treble clef kazoo?
Is there more than one clef???
May.
Fer goodness sake May, 'onestly May and reely May!! Call yerself a moosishun do ya? 'Course there's more 'an one cleft. Dear me darlin'. Fank 'eavens Larry know's what 'e's on abaht ay?
By the way, Harry, I can only play the piana wiv one finger darlin'. Fought I'd better tell ya now swee'eart! Good to you, ain't I Clarice?
Anyone for a cuppa?? 'Urry up then cos I gotta go out agen in a minute. I am the Very Busy Woman you know! Where's Judy lately? Is she still hidin' behind me fridge? I'll 'ave a look in a minnit. Oi Judy!! War's bin over fer the last sixty odd year! Come outa there fer goodness sake do darlin'.
Kettle's on gels.
By the way, Harry, I can only play the piana wiv one finger darlin'. Fought I'd better tell ya now swee'eart! Good to you, ain't I Clarice?
Anyone for a cuppa?? 'Urry up then cos I gotta go out agen in a minute. I am the Very Busy Woman you know! Where's Judy lately? Is she still hidin' behind me fridge? I'll 'ave a look in a minnit. Oi Judy!! War's bin over fer the last sixty odd year! Come outa there fer goodness sake do darlin'.
Kettle's on gels.
Who is Judy Lidd? I don't remember her at all. Is she related to Rudi, or perhaps to Moody Trudi?
I have a comb and paper, best san izal, that I call a kazoo so as not to hurt its feelings as I am a sensetive soul at times. I usually read from mediaeval clefs and play crumhorn music on it. I find it a very useful substitute when costs have to be taken into consideration.
Off to fight with my computer programme again now.
XX
I have a comb and paper, best san izal, that I call a kazoo so as not to hurt its feelings as I am a sensetive soul at times. I usually read from mediaeval clefs and play crumhorn music on it. I find it a very useful substitute when costs have to be taken into consideration.
Off to fight with my computer programme again now.
XX
QUOTE(petrat @ Mar 29 2007, 07:28 PM)
Who is Judy Lidd? I don't remember her at all. Is she related to Rudi?
No darlin'! Judy an' Trudy were the twins what married the uvver twins Jim and Tim
'Ave ya managed ta get ya moosic printed Addy darlin'? I 'ate ta fink of you 'avin' one of ya turns over a compooter swee'eart. Jump up an' dahn on it like what I did wiv mine. Just a fought dear.
Ha ha Lidd. We are talking at crossed porpoises this evening. I'll follow your advice and jump on my machine now.
QUOTE(petrat @ Mar 29 2007, 07:39 PM)
Ha ha Lidd. We are talking at crossed porpoises this evening. I'll follow your advice and jump on my machine now. That's cos you bloomin' well added more words diddun ya Add!! Cheeky old fing you are! You's as bad as that Lavvy.. She's always got more fings ta rattle 'er chains abaht!
Gotta go out. Back in a while.
Laters luvvies XX
Watcha All. Anyone up for a panad and a bun? I have only two hours of work left to do and then bed. Then up to feed hens, old Dobbin and Eddie, and to sing happily now that spring is here and we have fresh snow on the hills and a hail storm.
Cheers, from a worn out but very happy Addy.
I'd Addy Nuff earlier but now all is well.
Cheers, from a worn out but very happy Addy.
I'd Addy Nuff earlier but now all is well.
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