Did I have a piano lesson just now? I can't remember...

Judith

Ey up me ducks! I finished my jumper today *holds up knitting with glee*

A jumper?! Looks more like a pur o' socks luvvie. Is thee sure it's a jumper?!

Yeahh, it's for my 95th grandchild me love, she's called Katie. Now let me show you the picture...I'm sure I have it somewhere

*digs in bag*

95! By 'eck! That's a lorra grandnippers! Now... who's seen me slippers?

I thought they were ducks

Ya what luvv?? I don't 'any ducks me luv. Them's them things that swim in t'sea aren't they?

I thought ducks were slippers chuck

Are they? I don't wear ducks on me feet do I?

Raaaabits, you say? Eh?

What she say? Somethin' 'bout raaaabits?

*looks scathingly around room*

Hello. HELLOO. ANYONE HERE?

I'll just toddle over to my favourite chair and rest my poor old feet. Oooff!

Something lumpy here. Who am I sitting on? Doris, Doris, is that you?

No, it's me, Maud. Gerroff, you're standing on my bunions.

*stomps*

Where are me glasses?

Calm down me dearies. Let's not get worked up shall we! I say we all have a nice pint of sherry to cool down after such an 'ard day!

Never touch the stuff....go on then, I'll have a half (litre, that is!)

Do we have a Mildred here...if so - http://search.yumyum.com/recipe.htm?ID=11355, look what I've found"

can I join as mildred?

Updated List:

The Lady Members of OLTVA (Old-Ladies' Traditional Values Association)

1. rosfrog ~ Renie (Founder)
2. Boo Radley ~ Gladys/Mabel
3. sarah-flute ~ Doris
4. Cyrilla ~ Gertrude
5. andante in c ~ Peggy
6. bobifier ~ Maricia
7. katyjay ~ Maud
8. sbhoa ~ Ethel
9. Amber ~ Winifred
10. janexxx ~ Edna
11. Choddy ~ Agatha
12. Oddball ~ Deardrie
13. Car Expert ~ Judith
14. diapason ~ Great Aunt Dilys
15. noodle ~ Agnes
16. Chaos_91 ~ Venetia
17. nicki_flute ~ Dorothy
18. benjaminja ~ Gretchen
19. barry-clari ~ Beryl
20. JudithJ ~ Martha
21. superpyroman ~ Mildred

Judith

Good idea! Agatha. *I'll get some glasses* *brings coffee cups instead!*

Whats's a litre, Maud? I'll 'ave one of them too!
Aggie

Its foreign for a pint but you gets more in it.

Is it, Maud???? You learn somethin' new every day...

Aggie

I ain't having nothing to do with anything foreign......

What? you get more in it..... ?

I'll have the half litre then...

Well, when you put it like that... Can I have two please?

Aggie

WHAT'S THAT ME DEAR? A TOTTY OF BEER?

I'LL HAVE A TOTTY OR SEVEN!

Ee, I tells yer, these totties ain't what they used to be...

Mumblemumblemumblemumblefrancemumblemumblemongoliamumblemumblemumbleslippersmumb
lemumble

ahem, speaking for a moment as benjaminja:

What follows is a direct transcription of a conversational fragment that recently occurred between my grandmother (hereafter referred to as G) and step-grandmother (hereafter referred to as S).

S: (looking at her mug of coffee) 'Course, I never owned a mug till after me husband died.
G: (nodding in an understanding fashion) Well, it's easier, isn't it?

[Benjaminja makes hasty exit from room and collapses on the kitchen floor in a fit of giggles.]

Just thought I'd share that.

benj/Gretch

Ask MWL1 about the woman who keeps scissors in her fridge...

ROSL *rolls on sofa laughing* I'd never be able get up off the floor.

Aggie

Can I join, please???? I can't think of a suitable old lady name for me (all the ones I like have already been taken) but hopefully someone else can.

How about Iris?

That's a type of flower isn't it? Sounds ok! I was thinking of Beatrix but then I realised all the jokes that can be made with that name.

Iris is a nice name

I can't believe I missed 9 pages of this thread! I really am getting old *sob*

Eeeehh, how are you Doris? These old legs of mine ain't what they were, I'm telling you.

Oy - you missed me off the list ???

Flo

My legs is not what used to be either, Iris!

Ooooh Flo, 'e missed you off?

yer, 'e certainly did! Not puttin' up wiv vat yer know!

Shockin'. Young people these days....

Didn't bother to read the whole of the thread!
Don't know what the world's coming to...

Just terrible, it wasn't like this in my day.....

what's wrong with your legs, then, Doris?

Too much work - I was standing up for seven and a half hours at work today and my feet are killing me now!

ooh that's a shame. you better put your feet up and have a nice cup of tea (with a drop of something in it!)

That sounds nice!

How are you Flo?

Judith, I shall beat you round the head with a rolled-up newspaper if you don't spell DEIRDRE right on your little list!!!!



Gert

What lover-ly weather we have today, I've not seen anything like it since I was a little girl!

They don't make summers like they used to. I blame the Common Market. It's not been the same since that young whippersnapper's been in charge of the country.

No, no they don't Peggy. The ice creams were better back then too (the flakes they used to stick in them were chocolatier too....)

Ooh, I know just what you mean. Back in that heatwave summer ('76, was it?) I was down to just the two cardigans.

I'm 78 you know.

And why hasn't that young lad put me on his list? No respect for their elders, the youth of today!

I've got 88 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren, so there!

I'm 87 you know.

Enid XXX

I've only just found this thread, been away on Duke of Edinburgh thing all weekend... is there room for a cat-loving, cake-baking, mothball-smelling Mildred?



Darn, just noticed Mildred's been taken. Hmm...

Gladys I believe is available. Or Doreen.........

beryl-clari

Gladys is taken, Doreen isn't...
...but I think I'll go for Vera.