That Gladys........she was ALWAYS available. Did ow't for apacket o salt n vinegar crisps and a Sanatogen.

Eeeeeeeee, can't get out of bed this morning. Me KFC is laying heavy from last night.

So it is.... oops

Off teaching to the bridge club now.......

Oh, Great Aunty Dilys, you dropped sixpence in the hallway.....

Thank you dear - I never USED to give change.

Oooh - morning all - anyone seen my glasses ?
sorry - must 'ave dozed orf last night.

now. what are we all doing today.
I'm off to hair-net knitting class, then a denture-identification lecture at the local pensioners club in Cleveleys. They do a nice cup of tea there and if ya loocky ya get a bakewell tart.

I knew a gel from Bakewell once - Minnie - she were a't tart!

Great Aunt Doris.....? Deidre.....? Dilys.......? oooooooooh somebody at 't club 'll remember me name.

Well, this morning it's Bingo at the Day centre. Then I have me dinner, and I goes to Bingo at the village hall. Then cause it's Thursday, I'm going to a Beetle Drive in the church hall. Or is it Tuesday? Then it's Bingo night!

You've left me of the list Judith, but I enjoyed the whist drive. Bridge is really my game you know, when I was young I even made a Grand Slam...ah those were the days!

Beryl-clari, does the bridge club ever need an extra player to make up the numbers. I might be 86, but I still have all my marbles.

And did anyone mention beetle...


Taking my young [Grand]son to Bury St Edmunds today to do his Grade 1 singing. I still drive a car you know...

Need it to help with Meals on Wheels. I must help the Old folk who cant get out.

...now where's that stepladder, the pantry needs clearing out.

Elsie

Can't believe I missed this!

Do you have a Lillian yet? The video has now been removed, but I can tell it would not be the type of thing I approve of.

Youth of today...

can i be alma? ooh i need a good cuppa i do.

Look at post 10 of this thread you'm young whippersnapper!


*beats Dilys with a widescreen television*

Gladys

Hello - I've done my Wednesday bake, and all he young 'uns will be coming round later to be looked after until their Mum comes back

Updated List:

The Lady Members of OLTVA (Old-Ladies' Traditional Values Association)

1. rosfrog ~ Renie (Founder)
2. Boo Radley ~ Gladys/Mabel
3. sarah-flute ~ Doris
4. Cyrilla ~ Gertrude
5. andante_in_c ~ Peggy
6. bobifier ~ Maricia
7. katyjay ~ Maud
8. sbhoa ~ Ethel
9. Amber ~ Winifred
10. janexxx ~ Edna
11. Choddy ~ Agatha
12. Oddball ~ Deirdre
13. Car Expert ~ Judith
14. diapason ~ Great Aunt Dilys
15. noodle ~ Agnes
16. Chaos_91 ~ Venetia
17. nicki_flute ~ Dorothy
18. benjaminja ~ Gretchen
19. barry-clari ~ Beryl
20. JudithJ ~ Martha
21. Deborah ~ Enid
22. maggiemay ~ Flo
23. jod ~ Elsie
24. superpyroman ~ Mildred
25. Rainbow ~ Iris
26. The Oboemeister ~ Vera
27. SuzyMac ~ Lillian
28. lucietake2 ~ Alma
29. Frederic Chopin ~ Claribel
30. Bob ~ Doreen
31. Lady Bobbington ~ Joan
32. hazel ~ Flossie

Judith

You've missed Enid (Deborah) and Iris (Rainbow)

Sorry Maud! I'm still getting old! *updates list*

Judith

Oh and Elsie (Jod)

All errors and gaps have been corrected.

Judith

Thank you judith, you are so kind.

... now somewhere I have some homemade rock cakes does any want one?

Can I be Claribel?!?

Yep, sure! *updates list*

Judith

Thanks ever so much, Judith! Have a cuppa...

Ooo, a cuppa!

Are there any biscuits anywhere?

Judith

Doreen + Joan

Judith, you still can't spell Deirdre's name correctly!

What? Someone say something about sponge pud?

Yes, of course - I have some homemade chocolate biscuits. Everyone, please help yourselves! *shuffles round with a frame and holding the biscuit tin*

I can

Judith

*Waves walking-stick around enthusiastically, fell off ladder cleaning pantry*

Clari my dear, they sound delightful. Now how fresh is that tea.

Freshly brewed as always, Elsie... milk and sugar?

Yes both, and two sugars deary, if you don't mind.

Whose knitting what at present. I'm doing a cardigan for my [great]niece. But I don't think much about her mother. Its all money, money, money with her, in my day you could leave your front door unlocked, and borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbours. Its not like that today. Young mums its take, take, take.

Some of us remember the war. There was little luxury there (the local spiv was quite useful) and as for rationing!

Eeee me back's bent doubler than before now! Was that thing they call sports' daaay at t'local pensioner's club, wa'n't it! Never knew I could run ser fast in me 'ole life! 12.84 seconds for t'100m and I still came second. Never mind them teenagers. Agatha in t'Olympics any day!

Can we call you Lily, dear?

Hehehe, AllanRenie, what DID you start??

Oh, but of course dear - 'tis what my 'youngster' name means after all

EEEEEEE, I CAN RUN T' TOW 'HUNDRED IN ONLY TWENTY-SEVEN MINUTES!!!

Gladys - I'll av you know I've had a 42-incher in't 'thouse for years.

(to herself - If only I could remember which room it's in...........)

I'e only popped in for something I can't remember and now I've got to pop out again, but I'm not sure where, but I'll remember when I get there.............

Great Aunt Dilys

Now you're just showing off. It's not nice to brag, you know.

Mine's only 14 inches, but I'm proud of every last inch.

Fig Juice Tart? What? SPEAK UP - me battery's gone.

Where's me nightie gone?

FIG TART? I'S GOT ONE O' THEM! ONLY FIVE MONTHS OLD, FRESH OUT OF ME OVEN! MADE FROM REAL LIVE APPLES, YOU KNOW!

WHAT'S ONE O' THEM APPLE THINGS ME DEAR?

I don't hold with these new fangled 'Apples' and 'Bananas'...

WHAT'S THAT DEARIE? BANANANANAS? WHAT'S ONE O' THEM, EH?

*Mumbles* I'm off to bed me ducks, or me slippers, or whatever you's are now...

Apples? Bananas? in the war we had a choice of potato or potato and glad of it we were.

Renie
(wanders off looking for melon...erm, I mean potato, naturally)

*burps*

Where's me teeth?

Swopped 'em for a tin of stewed tomatoes and a fray bentos down the day centre. Didn't think you wanted 'em any more. Sorry.

Didn't want 'em any more? How on earth am I going to do me castanets impressions now?

Just dislocate your hip and pop it back in really quickly. Back in my day we didn't have castanets. We didn't have spain. ACTUALLY, we didn't have teeth. Ha! Beat that, young whipper-snapper.

Can't do that with this new hip of mine.

Corse there was a spain. There'll always be an england, and there always was a spain. The rain there stays mainly on the plain, you know.

They probably didn't let you 'ave teeth, so as to shut you up, ha ha.

Don't know about that - reckon I'll be getting me telegram from the Queen afore you do.

I'm back. I had to pop out, but I've come back now. I can't remember where I've come back from but I remembered where I was going when I got there.......................

Are you still on about them teeth? I'm told my teeth aren't mine but someone elses, so ave you got mine?

And.....This morning Maud told me I'd dropped sixpence in the hall!!! If that's posh Surrey talk for breaking wind......well.....I........well.......fancy broadcasting t't nation.

Great Aunt Dilys !!

EEE, ME SLIPPERS, WHERE DID THIS NEW FANGLED 'ITALY' COME FROM THEN?

Queen Vicky would never have allowed that...

Dot is going to hand over this technology to people who can understand it..

IN MY DAY, YOU HAD TO JUGGLE FOR ENTERTAINMENT! AND YOU WERE LUCKY IF YOU HAD EVEN ONE JUGGLING BALL! WE USED TO JUGGLE WITH OUR SHOES, BUT WE BORROWED ONE FROM OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE THREE FEET!

EXCEPT THAT LITTLE TIMMY, BUT I RECKONS, I DO, THAT THAT WAS JUST A STICK THAT HE HAD TO TRICK OLD MARICIA OUT OF HER MONEY!

Heh heh heh... I've got me slippers to juggle with now.

No need to shout Maricia dear, I've got my hearing aid on.

Do you think that lovely young Angharad might move us to the Games Zone soon? I remember changing her nappy when she was just a lass you know, and now look at her, all grown up and with a job.

Enid XXX