*prepares to hide behind fridge*

Judith

Will you get outa there Judy!! This ain't a war...just me an' May 'avin' a discussion swee'eart!

Bloomin' 'eck...I'll never get me fridge back proply.

OK, I'll 'ed off behind the washing machine then...

Judith

Watch me pipes then Jody..one of 'ems a bit loose. You's might get wet when the .........machine.......empties....oops....too late!!

Stroof...

Oops... *heads back towards fridge*

Judith

Lidd, I never knew that you had a washing machine! I had one once but the first time I used it I put my old draws in, added the soap powder, pulled the chain and they disappeared! I never saw them again, ever! I don't use it now. I don't trust it!

Would you like me to sing something from La Incinerator. It is one of my favourite of little Wolfgang's operas. I could do a wobbly bit if you want.

Judith dear, why don't you come out and play
Great Aunty May


"A" wobbly bit, didn't know you ever did anything else Add
May

'Ere Add...that May's bein' right personall tanite int she?? I'll bung the 'oles of 'er flooty fing up wiv ya porridge shall I? If it sticks ta that like it does me mouf, she'll not be able ta play it fer mumfs!! I'll do that shall I Add? Shall I Add..what d'ya reckon then?

OI Jody...that's me spin dryer you's 'idin' behind..watch...out..when ..it...spins..oops!! Add....Jody's goin' rahnd an' rahnd like one a them spinnin' top fings!!!!!

Sorry Lidd and Add, but it has to be said, you both knock my singing and flute playing something rotton, and as for my jazzy double bass.............well, words fail me Sometimes I feel as if I have no friends at all
May.

Of course you have friends May. There is a trail of them all over the place. Look at Liddy's Philma, Rusty Bucket-head and Larry Parry for a start, not to mention Dave, the vet, Arthur Spitwell, the vicar, Liddy's Iva and my psychiatrist! Goodness me May. There have been tons of "friends" over the years, girl! Tons of them I say, TONS!
I'll sing some roulades and trills at you and then you will hear a real wobble!

Well...now you's come ta mention it May!!!!!!

They are not "friends" Add, they are just men.
May.

Stroof May...what's up wiv ya gel??? We's all ya pals 'ere, ain't we Add, Summat, Jeannie, Jody???


Fer goodness sake someone agree wiv me.....

Great Aunt May, you're fabulous darlin' (as is your music - very entertaining so it is)

Ta everso.
May

Yes, we are your friends Great May. We are much ruder and nastier to the people who we don't like! But you have to admit that you really are knickers when it comes to playing your double bass.

That's it Add...say it 'ow it is gel!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehe!!!

There's nowt like a bit of honesty, eh Lidd?!

Nope...does your fiddle always sahnd like that, or 'aven't ya quite got the 'ang of it yet?? Just wondered, sweet!!

Quite so . We always call a spade a swede don't we Lidd?

It's probably drunk...it doesn't always sound like that love!

Maybe I shouldn't keep it in the cupboard next to the gin

Abser- bloomin' -lootly darlin'!!!



Well I ain't ever 'eard of no gin drinkin' fiddle before...only gin drinkin' fiddlers, darlin'

That's probably what it is then...never mind this 'panad' rubbish, a stiff gin's what I need...

Cor, feel better already my sweets! Bit strong though

I have a dash of marmite in mine to take the taste away! I hate gin!

Does it still work the same though love? As long as it works I don't care!

*goes to find veeery old pot of marmite*

Mmmmmmmm...luvverly...nice bitta tonic and a lumpin' great bitta gin..can't beat it in me 'onest opinnyun...

Seemms teh jin's goen strate to meeee 'ed gelllls.

Oooh dear..looks like it is an' all....you'll get used to it darlin'. I'm orf ta me bed gels.

night all.....

Me too, after putting Eddie and Dobbin out for the night. They have sat for far too long infront of that radio this evening. Nighty night all.

Good mornin Ladies! Feeling good after an evening on the Gin.


Thinking of putting on some music. Given the state of your heads, The Ride of the Valkiries followed by the 1812 overture sounds a good start!

My head was fine. It was the counter-effect of the marmite!
That was great music to gallop about to on Eddie. He loved it, especially the saucepan lid bits that Lidd added to the 1812.
Off to play my crumhorn in the lettuce bed now. Those birds are picking great lumps out of them.
Anyone fancy a pie and a song at the Purple Camel later or are we all saving our voices for the next concert?

Oooowwwwww...me head! Addy love, that marmite didn't work for me - I feel worse than ever! Does no-one know how to keep quiet arahnd 'ere?

I'm not going to be at the concert dear, so later sounds good to me

Jeannie
(*With a splitting head ache, regretting last night's drinking!*)

'Ello you lot!! Can't 'old ya drink ay!! Stick wiv you's pal Liddy, Josephine. You'll be knockin' back the pints like it's water!!!

Ta everso for playin' me favourite 1812, Summat darlin'. Ain't nuffing like bangin' a coupla dustbin lids togevver first fing in the mornin'....if I ain't asleep...no-ones asleep!!!

Am I talkin' ta meself agen? I'll just 'ave ta get on wiv me moosic what Larry sent then...more bloomin' moosic...stroof..

I'll stick the kettle on first while I fink abaht it..

'Ello Liddy dear...me 'eads finally cleared up i think...a nice cuppa tea wouldn't go amiss though, ta love!

Mmm... hot liquid...

Judith

Cheeky young beggar...I don't recall sayin' as I would be makin' one fer you, Jeremy...

oh come on then...your company is better than none at all, I suppose. Give us a toon on ya fiddle, Jason, there's a love.

Errr..ya what Jody darlin'?? Suppose you want one an' all ay? Kill me while I'm up why don't ya...

bloomin' eck..youngsters t'day.. run ya ragged...

Youngsters?! Wouldnl't 'ave a clue who yer talkin' abaht there dear! Hang on, why don't you sit down Granny, put yer feet up, and me an' Judith'll make the tea for yer!

I would luva cup of hot brown liquid please

Judith

Come on Judith - we'll make it!! (I think Liddy's a wee bit tired love, leave her be, come on...)

OK! *fills the kettle with hot water*

Judith

Well done dear. Now, I think we have to put these little bags in the pot...OWWWW!!!! It's hot!

Oooo...ta Joseph an' Jody...you's right good ta wait on an' old Lady, you's really are. I'll remembers ya bofe when me time on this earf is finished....

'Ere Add..I'm on to a good fing 'ere....sits in comfy chair wiv feet up..

Don't talk like that love

Is Add about? Addy? Does yer want a cup of tea - Judith'll make it for yer!

Doreen

DOREEN!!!!!!!!! NO!!!

All I tried to was help Liddy for once, and then this goes and happens...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

*hides under table*

Naughty, naughty Doreen!Judith + Doreen

*sob*

Iced tea anyone?

DOREEN!!! I's got meself a sister called Doreen!!!! I'll 'ave ta tell 'er me pal Jody's named a penguin in 'er 'onour!!!!!!!!!

Ta everso fer the tea..mmm..luvverly..by the way...did I tells ya I fancy a nice bitta toast? No..you sit there, I'll haul me tired old bones out me chair an' get it.....oooh ouch...oohhh...me Arfur Ritis is playin' me up summink cronick...don't ya worry yaself, Doreen, I'll manage....

SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From now on, (for the rest of this evening!) you are not doing anything!!!!

Cor, I'm feelin' generous today eh Judith/Doreen...don't tell the old bird she was missed today, its bin so quiet arahnd 'ere...

I'll try some of the iced tea muck, and some toast too as long as I can have jam and mustard on it.
Terrapin song anyone?
Oh well, I did offer! How about we all sing rounds them. I'll start:

Mow, mow, mow your lawn, gently round and round.......