And one other thing... what can an 11 year old say about break-ups and being in love, that an experienced adult can't? I don't understand why she'd want to sing a song like that. Bah!

Tempting Edna, but its a bit far from East Anglia. I'll stick to the Harvey's Bristol Cream down here.
[/quote]
Oy don't understand them northerners. They should talk proper English loyk what we does ere in good old Iiiiiiipswiiiiich. Anything else is jest forrrreign.

Oy'll stick wiv a point o' Tolly Cobbold...
[/quote]

Er'e my lady! Just cos I live oop North ........................

at doant meanta say I caaan't spake a bit a Iiiiipswiiiiiich when oy waaaant a. As wot my Mum spakes and as wot all my aaaaunties spake. I wenta school in Sidegit Lane afta we moved there frum London.

As a matter a fact, oy shaaall be in good ol Iiiiipswiiiiich on Fridy. Oy'll be in the Royal Geooorge on Coolchester Rood after visitin' my old Aaauntie in Sherrin'ton House (old folks hoom)

Be seein' of ya.

Great Aaaaunt Dilys (from Blaaaakpool)

Speaking as benjaminja:

By an amazing coincidence, diapason, I WORK AT YOUR OLD SCHOOL!

And I was at the Royal George very recently! What a small world...

Amazing indeed......I was there in 1960/61 (I think) and to be honest have very little memory of the place. The only teacher I can remember is Miss Nurse (who taught my Mum and several Aunts at Ipswich Girls Central School) and the headmaster was Mr Trafford, who, on my first day, recognized my Mum as being his country dancing partner when they were teenagers!!!

At that time (1960) we lived with my Grandfather in Reading Road (this had been the Eagle family home since 1915) whilst my parents, who had recently sold a business, were looking for another - and until recently I had two aunts living in Lancing Avenue. Various cousins still live around the town.

d

Great Aunt Dilys is gobsmacked

Where's meals on wheels?? I'm still waiting for me lunch.

Aggie

Hello Aggie, how are you?

*bangs spoon and starts singing 'Why are we waiting?'*

*pulls up in van*

Hello!

Now you may think I'm just barry-clari the woodwind teacher.

But I lead an amazing double life (a bit like Superman, though not as impressive! )

I am also barry-meals-on-wheels-man (with a selection of meals - Lancashire hot pot, roast beef or cauliflower cheese)......

Jam roly poly for afters (of course).........

( )

Thanks Barry! *takes cauliflower cheese and jam roly poly and begins to eat greedily.

Oh there's nothing like a nice spot of jam roly-poly on a hot day like today.

You mind you get all them lumps out the custard next time, though.

'ERE, ME SLIPPERS, IS THAT YER MEALS ON YER WHATNOTS?

DIDN'T HAVE THESE NEW FANGLED 'WHEELS' IN MY DAY, ME SLIPPERS

HAD TO MAKE DO WITH SQUARE ONES! AND NOT VERY SQUARE AT THAT! MORE CIRCULAR!

DON'T WE 'AVE THAT SMILEYGOYL TO SKATE ABOOT ON HER NEW FANGLED 'WHEELS'?

Not too bad thanks! You?



I don't like mustard. Isn't there anything else?

Hot? Who said it was hot? I'm shiverin' here in me 3 holey cardies!

Olive

So what thinks all me dearies about these young kiddies these days being given financial rewards for passing exams? One of my students was promised one of those new-fangled tap-top computers if she passed her grade 1. In my day, we've have been happy with a lump of coal! Or a box of pencil crayons.

Give 'em a proper incentive... a clip round the ear'ole and a week on bread and water if they fail...






Anyone got a spare Rennie for the database?

Can anyone join in the fun?

Never mind the jam roly-poly, I'll have some Gloucester pudding!

Queenie

*as barry-meals-on-wheels-man*

I may have some of that on my tray......

Would you like custard with that? One lump or two?

hmm, well, actually a glass of sherry wouldn't go amiss, thanks barri (can't remember your alter ego - if that's the right expression)

Queenie

sorry - barry. (noticed how hot everyone is on spelling round here - have to go and fetch the OED)

I think I've been through a few names here! - usually I'm barry-clari (guess why I picked 'clari' ), my OLTVA name is beryl-clari, and on Monday I suddenly became the OLTVAs official meals on wheels man!

Ev ya got raaabert n 'edgehog stoo, barry?

Updated List:

The Lady Members of OLTVA (Old-Ladies' Traditional Values Association)

1. rosfrog ~ Renie (Founder)
2. Boo Radley ~ Gladys/Mabel
3. sarah-flute ~ Doris
4. Cyrilla ~ Gertrude
5. andante_in_c ~ Peggy
6. bobifier ~ Maricia
7. katyjay ~ Maud
8. sbhoa ~ Ethel
9. Amber ~ Winifred
10. janexxx ~ Edna
11. Choddy ~ Agatha
12. Oddball ~ Deirdre
13. Car Expert ~ Judith
14. diapason ~ Great Aunt Dilys
15. noodle ~ Agnes
16. Chaos_91 ~ Venetia
17. nicki_flute ~ Dorothy
18. benjaminja ~ Gretchen
19. barry-clari ~ Beryl
20. JudithJ ~ Martha
21. Deborah ~ Enid
22. maggiemay ~ Flo
23. jod ~ Elsie
24. superpyroman ~ Mildred
25. Rainbow ~ Iris
26. The Oboemeister ~ Vera
27. SuzyMac ~ Lillian
28. lucietake2 ~ Alma
29. Frederic Chopin ~ Claribel
30. Bob ~ Doreen
31. Lady Bobbington ~ Joan
32. hazel ~ Flossie
33. elliewelly ~ Olive
34. Susie ~ Queenie
35. The Old Lady ~ Great Aunt May
36. petrat ~ Adeline
37. violin-ann ~ Mathilda
38. Charlies Aunt ~ Lydia
39. jazzfan ~ Lavinia

Judith

Are we all deceased or have we all forgotten where we are?

(Hitches corsets up and goes in search of missing old ladies)

Sorry love, me backs been playing up something rotten these last few days...

Deirdre

And I'm 'aving a bit o' trouble keepin' me stockin's up durin' this 'ot weather. I can't run like wot I used ter, me unmentionables get all in a twist.

Eeeee, Deidre loov .... I've said time and time again ya shouldav given up do'int Charleston in't "Rose 'n Crown".'Ow many times 'ave I said ah'll BUY ya a dooble gin.....ya don't av ta perform foritt.

ya Great Aunt Dilys

Me arms ache after carryin' these very heavy s'oppin' bags.

Judith

Am off ta bed now

I've a got a new Bills and Moon ta read. Lady in't Charity Shop said it were Sexy.....at least that's what ah thought she said, til I gave her a 50p piece and she said

NO LUV.....60 p!!!

Eeeeeeeee, life's full a disappointments

G'night, dears

G. A. D

G'night!

Judith

You're not reading then mucky books again are you Aunt Dilys?

(just pop it on me bedside table when you've done with it)

They never seem to 'ave large print versions of the mucky ones, do they?

The nice lady from age concern sorted me out with one of them magnifying sheets......

You don't miss anything with one of them.

I'll 'ave to see if me niece will get me one. It ain't the same when you can only work out one word a minute. You lose all the fun that way.

I've ad to get out o't bed - me cocoa and Tia Maria 'as gone straight through!

I can't sleep - it's that Thrills 'n Swoon book I'm reading. I'm all 'ot n bothered. Me memory in't what it were, but it's all coming back to me!

Ya can 'ave for 30p when I've finished wi'it. There aren't any pictures in it - least ways, 'cept them what someone's drawn on back cover

tee hee!

G'night - back to chapter 14. They're ready for the off!!!!!












Oh.....It's an orse race he's teken er to!!!!!

Being as I am THE OLD LADY, do I need a name?? Oh alright, I'll be Great Aunt May. I would like to be on the calender too, but once I get these DD's out of me corset the flute won't cover up much . Anyone got any suggestions, crude or otherwise, write them on the back of a postcard and send to Sunnydene Rest Home for old flautists
May.

<envelope> Great Aunt May, The Sunnydene Rest Home for Old Flautists </envelope>

Dear Great Aunt May

Are you really suggesting that you'll be removing all five cardigans for this calendar? You'll catch your death of cold!

I'm 88 you know.

Enid XXX

Maybe you could use your guitar, May?

My grandson benjaminja as jest shaved off 'is 'air, aven't he? At look ridicl'ous, dunnit? Still, they're all doin' it these days, int the?

Eeee bah gum. Luvly 'ot weather int'it? Ahh think am boilin'. It's ner wonder ya see all these pretty young madams walkin' round with a piece of string round their chests!

All these skimpy tops they wear nowadays with no proper support....they'll be sorry once they get to my age...yer can't stop gravity. They'll be tucking 'em in their waistbands if they don't tek heed. Wish I'd've listened to me old gran now.....

Edna

I agree Edna. It's such a shame.

I wish they'd make them Wonderbras in my size.

Me too Peggy.

Anyone want some shortbread?

ohh thank you. You can't beat a bit of home made short bread can you. Is that the Be-Ro recipe??

It is indeed!

How are you?

A calendar? Great idea. I'll hide behind one of those big drubble bases.

I'd love some shortbread but I've lost me teeth again.

Enid, ALL 5 cardies, and a high necked Edwardian blouse, a shimmy, a wincyette vest , a liberty bodice, a corset and me Double Diamond brassiere! Then it 'll all come tumbling out, because as me old Granny used to say I'm no better than I should be, and so as I've always said, once a tart always a tart, whether I'm 24, 44 or 94 as I am now. Wonder if old Cyril, the butchers' boy still teks a shine to me???
Great Aunt May.


Best leave 'em off lovie. Get some fresh air
Great Aunt May.

That might be a problem since I 'ad me bit o' trouble.

I've got that recipe book.......

If they med'em in your size, they would be a Wonder

EEEEEEeeeeee ya could put th'Hindenberg in one and R101 in't'other

I'm still up at this 'our reading another Pills and Spoon. When they get too steamy, I have a puff on my asthma spray, undo me Spirellas and read the recipes in Peoples' Friend for five minutes. I can still knock up a good Spotted ####.
For heavens sake, they won't let me say it .....I'll av ta mek a Queen of Puddins instead!!

Ahm gooin now - back ta me bodice ripper! Might gerrit finished be dawn!

Great Aunt (yaaaaaaaawwwwwn) Dilys

(where's that bottom set gone)

You're up late, Dil. I blame young 'uns.

Better than them eggcups on elastic you have to wear, Dil.