Kell bon eeday!

What do I asks for - Gants sons dwarts? I dunno whether the little happydooshary shop will sll such ellygant items of apparell.

Should I get them in black leather (na waar queer) to go wiv his leather jacket wot he sometimes wears when he's playing. Oooooooh wot he does wiv his organ they tell me. Lovely registrations (???? )

He played one t'other week 'n he pressed a button an it came up ...............art at floor, that is.

Good picture of you Lidd. Have you got one of me in my Welsh hat yet? Tell Eddie to walk on and we'll get going. He is a very safe old boy so you'll be fine with him. Never gets beyond a gentle trot on a good day with the wind at his tail. The village is about six miles away so it won't take us long.
Just get some proper gloves you daft old bat and chop the finger tips off! (Struth Lidd. Dizzy is hard work at times!) Then we'll find a use for the chopped off bits. A mobile perhaps?

I could only find this old drawin' of you's ducky, cos there weren't no cameras in your day was there? Daft old Dilly Dally ay ducky?

Flip Lidd. All I can see is a yellow sign with big red writing on. Nothing at all like!

'Ave ya bin on the "Mushroom" omelettes agen Add? I can see it ducky!

I wonder if this will show what I am seeing. Probably not.

Yep. , There it is again.

Gordon Bennett ducky...I'll try an' find anuvver one...





Can ya see that one, dear???!

Did you see my yellow sign then Lidd? Did you Lidd? You did? She did.

Brilliant Lidd. It's me a a couple of years back with Shenkyn our donkey. Wow! He was a fine animal and no mistake.

Amen to donkey. Am not hungover. What a miracle.

Top o' the morning to you!

Top of the milk to you too Ma Fickle Fuzzyduck. As you are so fit and well you can come out with us if you like. Lidd is driving the cart and I an riding Dobbin so you can either jump on the cart or run beside us like a newt if you like.

Ooh dear have I missed it? Am hobbling after cart to try and jump (? me aching joints) onto back. Stop I tell you, stop!

Blimey stroof, Ticklish! That bloomin' old cart 'as done fer me it reelly reelly 'as done fer me...I'll never be the same agen...look at me poor legs all skoo wiff at funny angles. Wait til I see Addy, I'll crown 'er wiv me zimmer frame.

And me poor old back....oooohhh....are you's puttin' the kettle on ducky? That's mighty kind of ya, dear.

Don't worry mah luv, kettle boileth, and 'ave me extra special jaffa cakes too!

Ooh ta lovey...I likes ta dunk a jaffa in me tea on a Wednesdy afternoon! luvverly...

Do ya fink ya should be wearin' mauve, ducky? P'raps lilack would suit ya be'er if ya don't mind me sayin' swee'eart.

If ya moost know Ah'm wearing blue and loike i'!

Dunking jaffas makes 'em soggy!

All the be'er when you ain't got no teef like me dear! Oooops...that bit fell in me tea! I'll lick the mug out when I'm finished. Pardon my manners swee'eart

I'll turn me eyes away, ahh well, don't matter, me poor cataracts!

Ooh dear swee'eart. Got cataracts 'ave ya? 'Ow d'ya play the organ then? BADLY!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!! Sorry sweet. Only jokin' wiv ya's. You's can get yaself hitched up wiv Dillys neffew. 'E plays on an organ an' all.

Me and Addy will sing at ya weddin' darlin'. It'll be a day you's will never forget dear. I writes the words an' Addy pinches the toon from somewhere else.

Would ya like us ta sing at ya weddin' Ticklish? Ay Ticklish? What d'ya say then? Me an' Add 've got a spare afternoon on Fridy two weeks from now. Don't leave it too long, ducky, cos me an' Add are in demand, see?

Ah play dee organ from memr'y like. Would lahve you at mah weddin'! Get composing sweetie!

Oooh...OK...I'll get some words writ an' you's can 'ave a look. It's right excitin' innit?

**Addy!!! Where are ya's? Go and pinch a toon from somewhere! Ticklish an' Dillys neffew is gettin' wed, dear! **

Stroof, where are ya Add?

Hadn't ya noticed that Michel is Gerard Depardieu's Doppelganger. They look so alike that when he visits Cannes people keep asking him for autographs.

Well I've got some proper mushrooms now, ones that won't make you ill, Oh and whilst I was in the woods I collected some blackberries.

Oh I've got some decent wine from a little vineyard I know of from the south. I've bought a mixed case of red, white and Rose. Thanks to me ruby slippers Noby noticed I'd gone.

See!



and you didn't believe I had any!

Ooh fank oo but don't rush it- I can be patient yeah.

Lovely slippers Summat, I like a bit of a heel myself. Makes me taller you see.
Can I help with the supper dear?? I do a mean bit of pastry, we could have blackberry and apple pie??
May.

Well that was a good supper and no mistake. I am not sure that the parsley sauce went too well with the apple and blackberry pud though, although Lidd did manage seconds and then thirds.
Fuzzyduck did a great job jogging this afternoon. I had offered her a ride on the cart but she was quite happy running. You should have seen her go!
And how is the back now Lidd? Did the fresh air and exercise do it some good? Eddie had a great time.
Who wants to write some songs? There is a folk evening on this weekend and we are invited to perform some traditional folksongs if we want to. I thought about "Roodle O me dandle O", but they probably know that already. We could do "My Lovely Horse"?

Donkey Riding Add??
Or what about, My Love's A Large Savoy Cabbage??
The Hussy With The Red Elastic Band?
ANy good Add??
May.

'Ello gels! Me back is better since that luvverly fella Jean rubbed oil in it Me Clod come rahnd an' fahnd me stuck in me chair. "Ma petty Lydia" , 'e says " Sha must find Jean ay 'e will rub you aveck la oil" "Get ya skates on then Clod!" says I. Cor! Gels...ya shoulda sin Jean 'E 'ad more muscles than that fella wiv the walnut on the end of 'is nose I can tell ya's. Floated away I did....ain't I lucky to 'ave Clod ay? Seein' as you lot went orf an' left me ta suffer Some pals you are ay?

Wot we up ta tonite then? We gotta write a song fer Ticklish, Add. She's marryin' Dillys neffew

I'll stick kettle on while I'm waitin' for ya's....

How about this one?

She went to heaven and flip flap she flied,
Flip flap she flied, flip flap she flied,
No, I'm mistaken for she was the bride.
She was the blushing bride.


She got herself married, that's what she did.
That's what she did, that's what she did.
She got herself married, that's what she did.
This was writ by Addy and Lidd.

Good one that, eh?

That's right smashin' darlin'! Musta taken ya a few seconds hours ta fink of that! I'm right prahd of ya's ducky! I got some words an' all but they ain't quite ready yet.

I'll 'ave anuvver cuppa while I fink abaht it.....wanna panad Add?

Oops Lidd. Look at the time! I haven't been to bed yet and it is the next morning already! Silly me. I was up all night writing poems and forgot. I am off to bed now. Negligee negligee all.

Did you lot enjoy the wine?

There's this nice little vineyard in Uzes I know, pretty town in the Langedoc not too far from the Pont du Gard.

Given I still have the magic carpet that was liberated from the African Harem on another of our adventures. How many of you want to join me on a little excursion?

Morning all. What wine eh? I had no wine, just a panad. The Langaaaadock is flippin' miles away. Right dahn sarf as Lidd would say. I don't want to go there. Eddie and Dobbin would miss me too much. I like it here in St Jean le Thomas. It is peaceful, except when May saws away on that old bass of hers.

[quote name='DaisyChain' date='Sep 12 2007, 09:24 PM' post='590004']
Wot we up ta tonite then? We gotta write a song fer Ticklish, Add. She's marryin' Dillys neffew

I'll stick kettle on while I'm waitin' for ya's....

/quote]

and

Duz my dear diaper son know about this....this....arranged maridge ?????????

As she tricked 'im inta summat he don't know abart?

my dear dippy son - he ain't the maridging kind - REALLY - I knows 'im best and he won't like it.

Is she well-orf??

In any case.........TICKLISH.........wot sorta name is that? Ow can he go through life with a wifey called Ticklish?
Wot if anyone asks her name........ARE YOU TICKLISH? and she sez yes.............imagine all them cavortings that could go on? It's grounds for divorce afor they even got wedded.

I'm not avin, I tells ya, I'm not avin it ...........(and aven't 'ad it for years )

an 'ees not avin it either.

Bloomin matchmuckers!

Stroof Dilly...will ya stop lookin' at me over ya specs like that! Ya look bloomin' scary..you'll give me nightmares like what that Frankenstein woman did! Calm yaself dahn before you's give yaself an 'ernia ducky!



Ticklish an' you's neffew are in luv so that's all there is to it! Ain't nuffing we can do ta stop 'em. Besides' me an' Add 'ave writ our songs now, so there! Be pleased for 'em ya jellus old crone! Besides, ya can get yaself a noo outfit. That old clobber 'as sin better days, ducky.

Flippin' 'eck...you is 'ard work, Dilly ya reelly are 'ard work sometimes. Ya do me 'ead in good an' proper. 'Ere...stick this Jaffa cake in ya mouf while I makes a cuppa.

Not many takers... well whilst I was there I picked up a case of the red, a case of the white and a case of the rose.

Should keep us stocked up for a few days.

Now there's too choices for dinner. Puy lentils (I stopped off in the Auvergne on the way back) with ceps, and herbes de provence (actually the came from the garden of someone I know in Uzes) and Ratatoille (they also had a vegetable glut) or fillet de beuf avec ceps et huille de truffle. I cook some apples of the earth for you lot although I'm also doing grilled polenta for me.

Oh and as the local farmer gave me some more apples yesterday (pud was excellent yesterday btw) I've already made my puff pastry and its tarte Tartin avec creme fraiche for afters.

Now whose for a cool glass of Rose?

Sounds smashing Summat .

Dillys, calm down dear! 'Tis only a wedding after all. And the other girls have gone to all that tiresome work of writing a song for it.

Oooooooooooh, I s'pose so. Gawd help me if I become Great GREAT Aunt Dilys.

I'll av to start kanitting martini jackets and bootlegs and fings with likkle duckies on them!

When did all this love blossom then - over an organ, I s'pose. An' wot abart the bride to be? Wot's she got to say abart all this?

Speak up fer yerself gal - let me know what yer in tentshuns is twards me poor dear diapason

Pass me that rosey wine.

Are we avin chips with dinner?

I'll 'ave to shake the moths balls outta me best chiffon frock.

OO's gonna be maida Vona - an bride's smades and oo's gonna play the organ and do the Buff It afterwards?

ERE - it ain't gonna be one o them Uncivil Patnachips is it?

More rosey please




Ere. dear........good coook as ya might be, I wouldn't av you writing out my me an u's if I was running a restyrant. Ya can't spel

RATATWILLY if ya don't mind and while we're at it - it's BOOF as in Boofant, as in Mr.

Don't teech em nuffink these days

ERE............Ee wuz up in Chesty La Rue yestermorrow (pass that Rosay gal) and 'e telemafoned me to tell me that his concert was a great socksoos (hic!) an' 'e never said anyfink abart gettin 'itched.

E'd a told me, I know! - peessay le van, sil ver plate -.........messy ma feeee



wot times dinnner??


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dinner is served or as they say around here le grub iz up.

There's even some bearnaise sauce for those having steak.

Yaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnn!!

Do I smell the repas du soir? And bare knees sauce. They do a good carton in ALDI ya know? There's a Aldi darn the road...........mmmm!

Wot's up wiv ya Dilly? Ya still sulkin' abaht the weddin' are ya? P'raps you's can be the Made of No Honour ducky Hehehehehe!


'Ave a nice glassa veeno rooge what is made from my Clods grapes, dear.

Cheers swee'eart.

No, I'm not sulkin'

In fact, I could quite look forrad to it. New hat, new dress, clean drawers, good nosh up

How you lot can eat slightly warm lumps of cow is quite beyond me. I'll just have some bread and cheese I think. Unless there is pud of course! How is the poetry writing for the wedding coming on Lidd?

That's the spirit Dilly ducky! Me an' Add 'ave started knittin' our frocks darlin'. D'ya wont us ta make yours an' all? Do ya dear? We don't mind, it ain't no bovver. We is 'andy wiv a paira needles we are. What colour d'ya fancy then?

What size are ya then?

**Stroof Add...we's gonna need a lotta wool fer this one **

Nearly finished me poem Add...be done tomorrer...(stroof I forgot all abht it...)

Indeed we are! Was that metric or proper measurements do you suppose Lidd?

Ow brightly dawns the nuptual day
Of little d and Tickle
I'll bet she'll lead him quite astray
Becoz 'her 'art is fickle

She'll charm 'im with her man-you-als
And drawstops -she'll 'av flaws
An when he finds wot she's abart
He'll go and stop 'er drawers

Well that will sound quite charming when we sing that at the wedding!

Measure me bust first. Grab 'old of one end o this tow rope, and walk round me till ya meets yerself coming back.........and cut me a bit of slack for movement





It goes nice to the toon of "While Shepherd Watch Their Flocks by Night"

Righto ducky..stand still...put your arms out...no to the side, not in front of ya...wait while I frow the rope rahnd....stroof will ya keep still Dilly!...Add, grab that end...that's it...come rahnd 'ere now gel...No, not you Dilly!...flippin' 'eck...the rope ain't long enuff...tie that extra bit on Add..that's it...keep walkin' dear...that's it we is meetin now....Gordon Bennett!!!! 68GG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Faints**

That's even bigger than my Dobbin! We had better start knitting tomorrow and get the local ladies Circle involved too. We'll tell them that it is for the Guinness Book of Records or something.

Gals, ya knows I luvs ya, and I knows I'm a crabby old biddy, but I'm goin to mah boodwah to catcup on me booty sleep. I'm gonna cover meself all over in Q10plus and take a cucumber upstairs with me, and a cup of chode chocolar
and a cousteau to cut me cucumber into slices for me eye patches

Ya know, me lovely diapason played out last night - in Chesty La Rue, an we didn't get 'ome till cans minoots past trois o'flamin de la clock in the matin, so he's /I's / we's a bit J D'd

Nuity nuit mes bells

Hot bree osh and marmey lard for pee tight day journay?????

and a nice caffy tear of caffy..............in me boodwah please



I SAID PLEASE

xx