Oh er Greenie! That isn't Lidd and stoopid Bert. It looks rather like Summat Else and some fellow wearing an admiral's hat and very little else! (And I don't mean Summat's new grandchild, Very Little Else either!)
Pass us a panad quick.

Oh I say.................. tres norteeeeeeeeee
Hope you enjoyed yourself Summat??
Great Aunt May.

Here Add - have a panad.

Please remind me never to let my inquisitiveness (inquisitivity? ) get the better of me again.

Not surprising that he suggested a bath Summat! That mud must have got everywhere. Are you going to see more of eachother? (Actually there isn't much more to see)
Slice of lemon cake and a panad May?

Is that the cake with the sugar and lemon juice on the top Add?? If it is , then yes please
Summat, mud wrestling with your Admiral gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "a half-Nelson"
More tea Joanie??
May.

I am not sure that they were mud wrestling May.
Yes, the cake has crunchy sugary bits on top. I call it lemon goo cake. Have a lump.

I can see what you mean about the half-nelson though!

Ah..this is a nice one of the pair of you's...was ya writin' a letter to you's pals then Summat? what's ya fella got in 'is 'and then?




**Flicks through photos **

Stroof...avert ya eyes Jeronimo..this one's..this one's....well.....I'm gonna fall on the floor wiv me feet in the air, gel...I'm goin'...'ere I go now...

Ta old bean.
Shall we have a saunter over to St. Malo. There are some nice shops there, and a lovely walk around the sea wall??
MAy.

Ah, the revered lemon cake has returned - lovely!

More tea would be lovely, thanks May. Not sure I'd call it mud wrestling either .

'Avert my eyes' - why? Give us a look then...

That's a good idea May. We'll go after I've finished laughing at these pics.

And they have reminded me that we have those last few carrots to harvest too. They are rather small but perhaps better than nothing.

The lemon cake is cake number two Greenie. That Harry Parry shared to other one with Dizzy.

Oh no pictures.

Anyway that wasn't mudd wretling, that was a new spa treatment: - its done wonders for me skin.

Ooh I do like a chap in uniform, even minimal uniform.

I'm toddling to St Malo too, I'm being taken to a swanky restaurant by the sea... and there'll be no skinny dipping!

Oh the Admiral

[Great Aunt Dilys hurriedly dashes to her costume chest and rummages for "french waitress" outfit, complete with discrete hole in pinny, through which a camera can be concealed!!

My gawd, this body costume is squeeezin the life outta me boobies.............and me neekairs is riding up summink orful.
Still, must practise me frensh frays.

"Bonsoir messy dame and moan sewer.......would you like a cocktail?"

"Ze deesh of zee day is toad in ze 'ole"

"we 'as luvley dumplings on ze menu o jord wee"

"Bone appy tit"

That should fool 'em. Now lets get this camera behind the 'ole in me pinny. Ooooooooooh, gaw' blimey...........watch art where that release button goes!!

'Ere look at the flamin' time. They'll be ready to serve le din dins soon. Lucky me work permit entittles me to a job in any restaurant in France, cos of me long-service medal as a nippie at Lyon's Corner 'Arse on Tottenham Caught Rue.

[G.A.D totters off down the lane, whistling the Marsy A's to get her in the mood for spying on the Admiral and his admirer, the fair Ms Summat at it waiting at table.

That was a lovely evening. The escargot to start with were beautiful, and its a longtime since someone bought me lobster. As for the Isle floutant afterwards well that was heavenly. I had a Champagne aperatif, the wine was good, and I was even bought a calvados as a digestif. It was a very civilised evening.

The admiral and I were disussing the finer points of Joanne Harris' book Chocolat which we both enjoyed reading. If anyone was spying I'm sorry if we disappointed you. There was a rather odd loking waitress though.

I'm going to a book club with a number of expats that the admiral is going to introduce to me. He may be french, but he is fully bilingual and enjoys english literature. Todays book is The Kite Runner.

Glad you had a nice evening with your beau Summat. Lovely meal was it??
We had a great time in St. Malo. Except when Addy started a fight with the restuarant owner, when he was going to drop the lobster in the pan. She screamed and fought like a wild cat to get the lobster off him, and ran like the very devil himself to the sea, where she released "Lionel" back into the ocean.
After that we were banned form all the eating houses in St. Malo, and so had pomme frittes in the bag.
Ah well. Bet Lionel loves our Addy now.
May.

And what was so wrong with saving Lionel I ask? He was a very grateful lobster. I took the bands from his little claws and he paddled away happily once more. That chef was evil! And I like chips too! It was a good day out.

Let's have another laugh look at those pictures of Summat and the Admiral in his little cocked hat.

Oooooooooooer Missus.
What was he doing there Addy???? Is that an arm or a leg?
May.

It's neither! Put your glasses on May.

I need some fresh air......

Me old ami, Julian was bi-lingual. Not fully though. It depended on the weather. He wasn't gay but 'is 'usband was.

More photos to come gels - you'll av ta wait til I gets um back from Paree Smatch noozpapier

Morning Ladies. Morning Summat. Addy tries to muffle a giggle. Would you like a panad Summat? How about the newspaper Summat? Addy passes the newspaper to Summat and waits for the scream.

Morning Lidd. Have you seen the picture on the front of the newspaper? And the headline.

"L'epouse de l'amiral a demander le divorce" Well at least that will leave the coast clear for Summat won't it! Another panad Summat.

Any sign of May? I thought that we might take Dobbin and Eddie out for a bit of a canter in the forest this morning if it stops raining.

Look at 'er bawling her eyes art. Just 'cos frog's legs was off!



Never mind, she made up for it with the 'orses doovrays





Well, old admiral boy certainly enjoyed 'imself.

Black don't suit 'im though, do it?



Serves ya right. gal

I SAID ya shoodn't 'a 'ad that whole Gato Forry Nwar with extra cream.

No wonder he wants a divorce. She has no appreciation of Opera, Literature and well she may like her food in quantity, but quality... thats another thing.


The book circle was very enjoyable yesterday, thank you for asking.

Given the reports in the press, we will not be seeing one another today. So A trip out in the trap with Eddie and Dobbin sounds a grand idee.

I'm always up for a ride Addy
A quick canter before breakfast sets one up for the day.
May.

Oooh luvverly, I'll come too!

I'll just pack the picnic basket and we can be orf!

Hope you've got some Champers in there my dear??
May.

Looks like a full cart load then. Tell you lot what! May and I will take turns on Dobbin and Eddie can take the cart. Last one to the village pump gets the ciders in.
Do you want to go first May or shall I? And no faster than a trot with that cart mind. We don't want any accidents.

Haha 'ere's me champus... Crack it open shall we?

Only if you're not driving my cart sunshine. No one drinks and then drives my Eddie. He is a TT horse.

OK OK keep yer hair on! Me drive a cart? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

It isn't my hair you big twirt. It is the tea cosy a woolly hat to keep my head warm.
Almost there now May. Dobbin is a strong lad, being able to carry both of us. Any sign of the others in the cart or has Eddie taken them off on a different route for a joyride? He does that sometimes. He knows his way about well now. He probably took them on the scenic route across the park.
Let's look in the paper shop to see if Summat is in any more of the newspapers today.
No, here they come. All is well. Doesn't look as if anyone is driving though. They are all sitting in the back laughing and drinking from a big bottle. How embarrassing!

Riff raff Add. I believe they call that type of person a Chuv these days my dear.
Heavens, they'll be drinking Chablis from plastic cups next
Oh look, there's a picture of Summat and the Admiral on the front page of the Evening paper. Oh dear, it looks like they're Sumo wrestling Add. What can they be up to. Bet the old Admirals' wife isn't too pleased.
May.

It is a good pic of Summat though! They'll be asking her to do calendar shots soon, or page threes in the Musical Opinion or the Strad!
Chuvs they are indeed. What a row. Call that singing? Poor Eddie's ears must be ringing. Let's make ourselves scarce before they see us.

Don't worry Add, I've got the reins. (Actually, that could be a cause for concern ...). I don't know why the others are so high-spirited though - any ideas?

Come on Eddie - don't listen to the adapted version they're singing of 'My love is like a red, red rose...' .

What a day Add. Awfully embarrassing I can't think what possessed Joanie to swear in 3 languages at the John'd Arm. Pity he understood though
What time can we get them all out of jail tomorrow morning then Add?? Good job Liddy wasn't there, she may have swung her handbag at him, and then they'd be in for a week
Scotch dear??
Oh dear, I need a man. Seen any gorgeous hunks about Add??
Great Aunt May.

Oh, Maurice darlin' just jump darn from that pile of pneus and rub some more sun oil into your little Dillydallys back, there's a shereee!

Mwaa XXXX

Oh, hello May

Cor...lummy Dilly Dally, darlin'!! 'E's a bit of alright eh ducky? Look out...May'll nab 'im orf ya swee'eart, mark my words, she'll nab 'im orf ya good an' 'proper. 'as 'e gotta twin bruvver goin' spare by any chance?

[quote name='diapason' date='Sep 26 2007, 09:23 PM' post='599070']


More Reece and moi is going art for a excrushon in the french pays arsh. We'll stop orf atta a petit cafe for caffay and peetight fours before makin' us way to the plarsh for a glass and some winkles

Here he is. My perfect man. I'm orf with Tobeeeeeeeeee. May be some time Add.
Great Aunt May.

Mooooooooooor Reeeeeeeeeeece

Peetight day joornay is pray, mon Cherry .

Caffy and Cross Ants and Pan O raysans ok pour vous?.............good.

Ere, we're all alone
They're bed's ant bin slept in. Last they said wos they was off for a excrushon in the orson wells cart. I wonder if the orse's av bolted and they're lying in a 'eap in a ditch.........legs a-kimbo, knickers on show to toot la mond........let's 'ope they got clean'uns on.

If I don't ear anyfing by this apray meedee, I shall fone a friend.......the won wot works for Intra Pole. They'll get on the case.

Or shall I? The gals'll be avin a good time with some Matty Lows somewhere, an they'll think I'm a silly billy Dilly Dally who orta minder own bizzynez. I'll go back an 'ide in the 'erb patch

an Great May is off with her Toby...............'ope is sirname int Jug.

May Jug........that ad bee a good one. If they had kids, they'd be "Little Jugs"

(May certainly ain't got them )

(I'm speechless! What can I follow that post with?!)


Where am I? What's been happening? I've been at the mushrooms again

Wake up gel.......gawd.......she's off one one of 'er trips........[slap slap].WAKE UP........oooooofffff, now 'er make up's all cracked and peelin'.....looks like that crazy pavin' down at the boolyvard.
WAKE UP you old trout................gawd, nar anovver bits peeled off.........you can see 'er 5 o'clock shadder!

Anyway, them other old biddies gels as gorn an done a bunk in the pony n trap. I reckon they's bin knickered for overoin' la vitesse.......or peessayed in charge of an 'orse drawn vee hickle.

D'ya think theys in the Pastille .....sorry

Moor Reece an I al go an look for 'em..............but we're goin art for an indian first. Moor Reece is partial to a bit of windy loo and chapped parties.

Let me know if 'out 'appens!!

Moor Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeece I'm ready - I'm wearin me crimplene sarhi to get in the mood for me curry.

[exits singin "Oo's sarhi now..................."

(Priceless. Beyond words. The whole family think I'm barking laughing at the computer)

I say old beam, he certainly isn't Jug Stephens is more like it........a great actor.
How about a scotch Dilly??
Great Aunt May.

sssssshhhhhhhh More Rice, its dees to oon in the matin.

There's only Great May in the 'arse - and she's snoring 'er 'art 'art.

They uvvers int ararnd........G A W D ........we forgot to go an see if they was in Le Knick. We'll 'ave to see what 'appens in the matin.

Oh, look, bless 'er. Great May 'as left us a glass of scotch on the sally monshay table. Int she fortful!!!

'ere.........ave you noticed. My dickshun ain't arf improvised since I joined the uvvers in France. Talk quite the laidy I do nar.

YAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNN.

Bed!

Bone Nweet all

XX

Well, set orff for the village nick to see if they wuz incar serrated, but Moor Reeece suggested that nous arretons at the local for a demi rapide.

This new barwench suggested that nous partakez of 'er "coq tail dez pays dez Gals". She'd 'erd one us gals speaking Weltch.

So we say "may wee - bien sewer. Comment call ay vous la noo vo tail of coq?"

And she sez "eeet eeez ma spessiall PANAD COLADA"



so we 'ad to come straight back 'ome and forgit all abart the knick.

.............and now Mooor Reeece 'as gorn back to 'is boyfriend ship .......so I'll go an weed the 'erb patch agin.

I shall 'av ta eat that loin of pig that I stuffed with proons soaked in Almanac and fresh Rose Marie and them pommes deterrds roast in duck fat, and french 'asbeans all by me bloomin self.

Evening Dizzy,
Great May and i stayed out a little longer than planned. We rode around the new coastal path and stopped at a couple of those gitty places on roote. Lovely they were too. And they had stables for Dobbin. May ran most of the way but she sat behind for some of it. Any sign of the rest of the girls? The last time I saw them they were being very drunk and most disorderly in charge of Eddie and the cart.

'Ello gels..sorry I ain't bin arahnd much lately...I bin cuttin' me toenails. I saved the clippin's in case Dilly wants 'em fer a fancy pud or summink. 'Ave I missed much then?

Ooooooooooo..........ain't they pretty

Didya get 'um darn at the booty saloon in the villarsh. Luvly shade of puke!!

Go well with ya Goochy peep-toe sling-back sandals..............mind you, any shoes 'ud be peep-toe by the time yud walked a 'undred yards with them hoofs.

Aarrghhhhhhhhh!

There's enough fluff underneath them nails to knit yourself a new pair of drawers - ain't ya cold, Liddy love?