Could you collect all the pencils I've lost while you're down there, please? Its looking a bit dusty too - shall I get the Hoover?

Ermmmmmmmmmmm, Tickles........what is a chimmney flute??
Flossie, are you the same persons as Jeannie??
Where is Addy when you need her. We need a sensible person to sort the flue out. We need muscles. We need a MAN Where's Clarri Barri, or Barking Tom, St George or Stumac. Anyone. Promise to keep my hands to myself but can't answer for Tickles who is a law unto herself.
May in distress.

I must have 2 personalities. Help.
Yes, we need a man around here. Not entirely sure why but it sounds like a good idea.
Panad?

Yes to the panad Jeannie/Flossie. Thank you.
Why did we need a man..........Hmmmmmmmmm, I forget. Oh yes I know, there's a problem with the organ, someone knocked a flute down the chimmney. Ah yes, so where's all the men then??
May.

Next man what messes me abaht will most certainly 'ave a problem wiv 'is organ!

Mornin' gels. What ya doin' then?

[.... spies Peeping Tom lurking... pinches flat cap off his head and stuffs it down the chimney... )






Lavvy

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. St George up to his old tricks then LIddy??
Have a cuppa, and look at the state of this organ.
May.

How did a flute get down the chimney?
I don't know...the last time I saw one was when that girl in the cloak (Flossie possibly) was with that person in a suit with a tie. That's all I know about it.
Jeannie (who qualifies for this thread rather more than her younger associate!)

Hello Lidd. Close the door will you, there's an odd draft in here. Panad?

Oooooooooerrrrrrrr, when the wind blows, there's a funny eerie noise down the chimmney Jeannie, very spooky that is. Is the organ haunted do you think??
It sounded like the third movement of "The Flat Cap Symphony" by Thomas Loon.
May.

'Ello great May an' Jeanfloss. I bin busy gettin' meself ready fer the do in Angle See. Me voice is comin' on a treat if I do say so meself. Shall I sing fer ya then gels ay gels shall I sing for yas? Ok if yoos insist.

"Par knees anjelica...feet par knees omnibus"

Told ya I was good eh??

Good grief Lidd, that was a sight to behold. Quick Jeannie, send for the little men with the straight jackets whilst I talk to her.

Don't you realize that there is a crisis in here Lidd. We have an organ blocked with a flute, and Mad Tom is stuck half way down the flue.
May.

The things you'll conjure up just to get some men in here May...

Yes dear, your singing is marvellous. I think. Why are you singing about busses though? Rather peculiar.

'Ave you no heducayshun Jeannie?? That is Latin what I am singin'. Stroof darlin'. What do I wanna sing abaht buses for ya great lemon?

kettle's on.


'Ere...what's that fella doin' up the chimney? Is 'e mad or what?

I think he is mad Liddy, but he is wearing the most fetching cap. Do you think he might be called Andy??
May.

What do you wanna sing abaht latin for?! There's a reason it's a dead language...

Is there really someone in the chimney? Here, let's get a broom or something and see if we can't push get him out.

Why Andy?? Maybe a Sam...(Oops...showing my age again)

[... gets Addy's muck-spreading shovel and tries to put him further down...]

COme on everyone, push,
Can't seem to shift him.
Liddy what shall we do dear.
May.

Leave 'im an' ave a cuppa tea dear. In my opinnyun all men should be up the chimney wiv a bloomin' great fire underneaf their ars backsides

Kettle's on...

OK Lidd. we'll leave him there then. Serves him right anyway. Shouldn't be in there in the first place.
May.

We should go to one of those feminist rally things in the meantime. Now, that would be one for the books!

YOu never said a more sensible thing Joanie, I can drive very fast, around corners on 2 wheels sometimes.
May be very fast.

Quite right an' all. Off His Head Tim should know be'er. I fought 'e was a clever bloke. Never can tell can ya dear?

I gotta bloomin' great book abaht me fella Wiggy. TWO bloomin' great books in fact. Some bloke called Thayer what wrote it. I fink I'll be in me box before I finish 'em. Still, I can take me time readin' 'em then ay? Me an' the worms readin' abaht old Wiggy. It's a larff innit? What you gonna do in ya box then May? I 'spect you's gonna 'ave all ya fellas fer company gel! Hehehe!!

Where's Addy then?

Feminist rally Jeronimo? What's one of them then?

Well I shall take some Earl Grey Tea, and some tapestry with me and behave like a Lady Liddy.
May.

That'll be a first then May!!!

What ya wearin' ta Angle See gel?

Very high heeled red boots and a fur coat:lol:
May.

(My young friend Beverley will probably wear something a little more respectable, but I am an old lady who wears purple hats and red shoes)

Flippin' 'eck... You's gonna look a right fright May an no mistake.

Take ya pick from summink 'ere dear...



l-r May, Jeannie, Tickles, Addy, Summat, Liddy

The red is very me dear. But I am a brunette dahling.
May.

Dependin' on what day of the week it is ay May?? Ya feaver looks a bit wilted if ya don't mind me sayin' so ducky.

I'll have to pop down to London and get a new one from Horrids.
Shall we have a daytrip to London dahlings??
Great Aunt May.

P.S. Is Barking Tom still up the spout??

Looks like it ducky...still I called in them luvverly fire fellas..



Ooh..watch what ya doin' wiv them cutters dear...

When Crazy Tim is aht we's can go ta Lundun eh?

Maybe we'll leave it until tomorrow dear. Green watch want to take us all out for the evening. Where is Addy Liddy?? Tickles, Joanie and all need to keep up, or they'll get left out.
May.

Don't worry, I'm never far behind when an evening out has been mentioned. Where are we going then May?

YOu decide dear. I have to pop out.
Great Aunt May.



Kate wants the computer to revise.

Where are we then Joanie?? The music is very different to what I am used to dear
May.

I must say that portrait made me look very tall... either that or the rest of you are very short... or you kindly stood me on a box.

Well I've decided to ditch the duck-head umbrella for one of those telly-scopic hiking poles, they have a nice long spke on the end, an that's much more use for my new job as the oldest shortest bouncer the Purple Camel has ever seen... especially good at dealing with 4x4 drivers suffering from Road-Rage!

Now have we rescued all the bits of Tom and Tickles Organ?

The organ, chimmney and Tom all became some sort of hybrid Summat.
Anyhoo, I've got to read a bit......... think I've got some sort of exam later, if I can remember where it is.
May.

Tickles has blipped. Blipping came at a very bad time- must curl up with a cup of tea and de-blip before my gala day tomorrow!

Blipping never comes at a good time Tickles dearest, but curling up with a cup of tea and deblipping sounds like a good thing.

It's a very BIG cup of tea! Huge! Can almost curl round it!

Urgent message for all the OLTVA. Did any of you feel the earth move last night
May.

The aftershock woke me from my deep slumbers - could feel all me bones creaking!
The organ is still in one piece, however!

Did you get all of Thomas Loony removed from the pipes Tickles??
It was very strange having the earth move Tickles, I thought I'd lorst my marbles for a minute dear.
May.

Oh, very strange- found my marbles down at the bottom of the Open Wood 32' vent, maybe a few of yours got mixed up with them.
I left his big mouth up there - it was getting on my nerves!

Shall we go to London tomorrow Tickles?? We could go to Horrids for a new feather for my red dress, and have tea at Claridges.......my treat.
May.

May love, I would love to come to London, but my fame is such that I'm playing another recital in Ripoff, fancy coming for the free food.
London Friday?

I shall come to Ripoff. Are Green watch there, and will they be ripping anything orf??
It was the free nosh that clinched it though Tickles
Tally Ho
Great Aunt May.

I say Tickles, awfully well done. I think they liked your rendition of "Neighbours"
London tomorrow then, for the weekend.
May.

Oh thank you very nice, coupled with "Eastenders!"
How shall we go? Eddie's cart? Stowaway on a train?

Well I think I still have that Magic Carpet around somewhere.

I shall wear the ruby slippers.

I fancy a trip to Horrids.

Right May, let's get ourselves comfy on this here carpet, and we can be off in a jiff!

Stroof, 'ow much baggage 'ave you got there? We're only going for a long weekend to London, not a bloomin' safari! Now there's an idea