What is a 'black hole'?

Hey! Lidd was talking about that just the other night... something to do with a plate wasn't it?

Name 3 exports of Scotland

Oh no... I should know this one. *scribbles down 'cycling shorts, veggai-haggai and wellies'*

What is the current record held for dwarf throwing?

Rhonda?

This quiz could have been made for us Jerrycan. We have got everyone right so far. And look at this one:

Who composed the concerto entitled The Emperor?"

Bung it in, Lidd.

What is the capitol of France?

Well, we all know that one. St Jean le Thomas of course, where we went last summer for our holiday.

And here's another French one.

Which French town won the best Town competition in 2006?

That's got to be Paris. It must be the best town surely? Stick it in.

What next? Ooh, last question!

Which men are the most romantic in the world??

Oh dear Addy, that's one for Lydia, she's had more men than I've had glasses of champers

May.

LIDDY!!!! I don't think so May. I think that your record of Italian Nobles is hard to beat. Let's just put down Italians and then we can hand our paper in.

Well, that wasn't too bad was it? I'm sure the table across from us was looking at our answers though.

well, more fool them cause we used really tiny writing! I think that they were just admiring our outfits actually. Do you like my new and improved Ferrets and Cherries hat?

It's vertainly very fetching! I do wonder where you get your inspiration though, it's not the sort of thing you see everyday.

'Ere..ta everso you's lot fer startin' wivaht me

Not my fault I nodded orf was it?

What did ya get fer the booby prize then?

Get that daft 'at orf ya 'ead Add..I can't see that luvverly fella what is makin' 'is way over 'ere..go an' get a rahnd in May. An' take ya time abaht it an' all.

*And Bung It-In did not write no Emperor pianer concerto Add. You's woulda won if you's waited fer me. Daft Dollops of Dappy Dames...a good name fer the team if you's ask me... *

No, no Lidd. We won! The answers might have ben a little mixed up but so were the questions. The quizmaster had to give us the prize as we had almost all of the right answers, just not in the same order as the others.

Actually "Bung-it-in" looked exactly like Beethoven when you looked quickly so they marked that as correct. We have won a trip to the Glass Studio in Llanfair pg with £100 spending money. We'll have a smashing time there.

"Bung It-In"??? "BUNG IT-IN"???? It don't look nuffing like Beethoven, Add.

You's need ya head tested..the marker needs 'is eyes tested!

Still, we gotta trip ta that nice fella what makes glass. Are we goin' in a bus agen Add? Are we Add? Are we goin' in a bus agen??

I lurve the Glass Studio Addy, such a handsome chap. I like him, he has very artistic hands
ON the other hand, I could buy some new red shoes instead
Great Aunt May.

Liddy, please behave yourself on the bus. Oh Addy for goodness sake, keep her under control, anyone would think she hadn't been on a bus before
May.

For Gawd's sake, Liddy, give the man 'is 'at back. Yer can't take some folk anywhere...

Good job you are here to keep her in order Rhonda. We can only take Liddy somewhere 3 times. Second time to apologize and the third to take the silver back.
May.

*stares out of window and pretends not to be with Liddy*

"The wheels on the bus go rahnd an' rahnd... all day long"

"Great May looks like the back of a bus... all day long!"

"Rounder sends ya rahnd the bend... all day long"

I'm 'avin' a fine old time on this bus gels! I don't take no notice of you's - so there

This is a great bus Lidd.

We've 'ad no beer, we've 'ad no beer, no beer since yesterday, we've 'ad no beer, we've 'ad no beer, no beer since yesterday.

[... thoughtfully puts a bucketful of "Rusty Lusty" brew in the gangway for everyone to help themselves...]


Lavvy




[... unfortunately the bus swerves and it all spills over May's red shoes... ]


Ooops

Where ever did that bucket of pigswil come from? Now we will have to pay extra to have the bus cleaned. It does stink rather badly.

Let's see if we can go around this Glass Studio without getting into any more trouble.

*CRASH! tinkle tinkle tinkle*

Oh lawdy, that's torn it. Anyone got a dustpan an' brush?

Just look at the state of my red shoes. What a stink. Lusty Rusty beer is a bit whiffy what?

Oh dear Rhonda, maybe you could suggest that he calls it, "Crumbled Glass In A Study".

May.

Them shoes is totally cream-crackered. I don't like the look o' that manager fella. Looks like 'e's gonna cut up rough. Lets do a runner girls!

*legs it*

Rhonda dear gel, when the police ask you why you are running, you don't say" It wasn't me gov", it kind of makes them suspicious
Good job Addy had some money for your bail. When's the court appearance??
Anyone seen Liddy?? She ran so fast we haven't seen her all night.
May

Flippin' 'eck you's lot! Made a right show of yaselves diddunt ya? Serves ya right fer sayin' it was me what would smash everyfing.

I 'ad a fine old time wiv the bus driver 'E showed me 'is ticket machine an' everyfing! Bet you's are all jellus eh?

See you's in court Rounder!

*OOH...however did that luvverly piece a glass get under me jumper?? *

Its a fair cop. D'ya like the outfit - its my jailbird look..

With legs like that you should be able to wriggle your way out of jail old bean.
May.

Oh my gawd Rounder..who are you tryin' ta kid gel? Cover you's modesty before me Stoopid Bert gets 'ere..

I can't take you lot anywhere! We have spilt beer all over the bus, smashed a few prized and very expensive pieces of glass into even more pieces and some of us you have borrowed pieces of art glass too. Rhondda has got herself arrested and Lidd is still singing a song about the bus wheels! I am going to have a panad.

'Ere calm yaself dahn Addy do. You'll 'ave one of ya turns and end up lookin' even more craggy than what you's do nah.

Kettle's on ducky

And they've closed off the access to the skips so I'll have to make my own carrot cakes now too. Here, use this tea bag Lidd. It was new at the start of the week so it'll do for a couple more mugs at least.

I'll make the carrot cakes, and here's some scotch. Let's make a plan.
May.

Why do we need a plan May. Now a flan might be nice but a plan? Why?

[... swipes the Scotch and swigs it down it one gulp .... ]




Hic

Ta Addy dear. What you's gonna do nah they 'ave closed orf them skips? You'll 'ave ta come rahnd ta me an' Stoopid an' I'll cook you's a dinner. What d'ya fancy then?

*'Ang on while I check me cupboards.*

Ooh..you's in luck Addy ducky dear. I gotta tin a pilchards from 1946, a tin a rice pud from 1957 an' a fruit bun from last week. That's alright innit? Should make a decent meal. What d'ya say then? See you's tomorrer at one o'clock. Be a treat for me old pal an' no mistake I'll use me Dahlia Whiffs cookbook fer a decent recc ressy way ta cook me grub.

Don't ferget me white choclit Easter egg by way of you's gratitood fer me kindness Add..uvverwise I might 'ave ta do you in gel

Nosey dad Add,
Lidd xxxx

I say old bean, steady on with the scotch. I'll have to open another bottle now
We need a plan to save our skins. You have a reputation to uphold on this little island in the rain sun, and we are in deep sh trouble.
May.

Sounds great Lidd. If you pick the bits of fruit out of the bun you could add them to the rice pud and then have the pilchards on the plain bun. That will work. I have a very white eggshell that was left after I blew one of Snowy's eggs yesterday so if I cover that with white chocolate and stick a couple of feathers of it will look like an Easter chick. That'll do.

Hi Great May. I didn't see you under the table there.

I should be careful with Liddy's cooking, the last dinner party she had kept the health dept busy for weeks
May.

You may well be right May. It is tinned stuff though so that should be safe enough.

1946

It's a bit out of date Add. You might be a very poorly girl Don't do it.
Tell you what, I'll do a great stew and dumplings, it'll feed everyone.
May.

Well, if you don't think it wise May we will give the tin to a jumble sale instead perhaps. (Either that or Liddy's Bert for his supper.) Stew with dumplings at your place it is then. Cheers May.

I've got the stew in the slow cooker, beef in beer. The dumplings are made and in the fridge.
So we could go for a ride along the beach Addy.
Have you seen anyone today, or are they hiding from PC McCuff.
May.

[... stirs some pieces of white chocolate into the stew as an Easter treat for Liddy... grates some dark chocolate on to the dumplings for the other old hags ladies]

Just the day for a ride on the beach May. Get your hat and I'll get my crash helmet.

I hope that you have made some stew with vegetarian beef for me. I think that the local plods have just about given up trying to arrest any of us. The reports that they have to write about us are always so long that they cannot stand it!!

Yes, Add, there's a separate one for you with Quorn.
I reckon our Rhonda fancies her chances with PC McCuff, what do you say dear?? Oh, look.......it's Winford waving his fin to us. Wave back Addy
Lovely manners for a whale, I expect his folk are top drawers Any sign of Larry in there??
May.

Helo Winford. Sut 'dach chi heddiw? Da iawn Boi. Yes, lovely manners indeed.

I don't think that he will swallow Harry Parry a third time May. The tourists will be here soon and they are much easier to catch.

I see that you are wearing some rather fetching glass earrings under your riding hat May. I wonder how those got there.

Just a little pair I ran up from a broken milk bottle Addy, I'm into recycling now. I stick them onto some old studs
Orf to the opera tonight aren't we dear? Are we seeing The Conjuror's Flute??
May.

I am sure that I saw a pair rather like those in the Glass Studio May. How clever of you to make your own. (Daft old twit...she thinks that I believed her story!)

Yes, I am off to the Hopera later. I'll get my best frock out and give Eddie a bit of a spit and polish too. He has to look his best if he is to wait outside the theatre with his nosebag and his cart.

I can join in with that song with all of the high bits in too.

The policemen are getting younger and younger. That PC McDuff is a real sweetie - gave me a ride home in his vehicle. I asked him in for a nice cup o' tea and a slice. A most obligin' young fella.

Rhonda dearest, it's PC Mc Cuff. Put him down , you don't know where he's been Is he good with his hands Rhonda???
Addy, I don't think you should have laughed like the dying fly when the monster lobster came on stage, they wanted you to leave the theatre And you really shouldn't have picked all the babies up and started feeding them all. They weren't real dear
Oh dear, banned from the Welsh Opera Company
May.

May, you know nothing. Some of those babies were real. They were crawling around and the one that I managed to smuggle home has an equity card so there! I think that it was most unfair of them to ban me. I was just being enthusiastic when I shouted "It's behind yer" in the monster scene. And did you see what the third lady did with her hands? Shocked I was. If opera has stooped to this level I would rather the opera evening in the Purple Camel anyways. My pal Bryn is coming to the next one. That'll show those WNO people.

Panad May?