You is a right old bossy boots, May, ya reelly are a right old bossy boots

I'm not sure that you should have kidnapped the guinea pig Lidd. Perhaps we can sell it to a furriers or something, seeing as it smells so badly. Fancy Fifth Avenue not having charity shops! I might have picked up something bargainous for Leeds. Ah well. Back to plan A. I might get my hair touched up a little too. I rather like my natural shade of pink but it has faded in the sun.
How are we going to get from that ship to Leeds and then back again May? Do we concorde it of something like that?

A helicopter ride should do it Add. You'll have a whale of a time.
I'm popping orf to Malta whilst you are in Leeds. Meeting some friends of mine. Nice couple, they have 2 girls. All fairly musical, but a bit boring Add........they don't drink until after 6pm
Meet you back on board the week after.
Now then, let's find our cabins. Oh dear, Liddy, your cabin is a bit small, and no window. Not like mine which has a balcony. Never mind, you can have a panad round here dear.
Add, what's yours like?? What have you done to your hair???
May.

The whale's going to get very tired taking you all the way there

Are you saying I'm fat you old boot
May.

Would I do that May...

I'm far too polite to say such things

I'll have you know young man that I've just lost 5lbs, and I'm in jeans from 2 years ago. So there, put that in your pipe and smoke it
I hope Winford gobbles you up this time. Take care Clarri, don't go on the beach

Oooh I say! What are you's two argooin' abaht! I got meself all seasick May..I'm gonna be sick May I can feel it...

Where's me fella Frederick Sharp-Minor when I needs a hug..gorn like the rest of 'em.

I's gonna be seasick May and I's gonna be seasick right now...




Told ya....

Good heavens Liddy. Quick, have a scotch............best thing for sea sickness
There, that's better.
Where is Frederick then, has he gorn orf with someone, or is he here on board??
COme on Liddy, we need to get ready for the ball this evening. Have you got your gladrags on dear?



May.

Flippin' 'eck May...put you's upholstery back on gel..

'Ere we are then gels..don't we all look luvverly then?



Stroof...I gotta bone stickin' in me where a bone didn't oughta be stickin' 'Ave a look for me May there's a love...

I don't think that my hair is quite pink enough yet. I'll take it to the hair colourost tomorrow to see if she can help me to enhance my natural colour just a little .

Posh froks Ladies!

I think you'd look better with green hair, with yellow spots.

*runs*

Well OK, if you think that would work. It would clash with my jacket though. No. I'll stick to pink I think.


Winford? Are you about mate?

Addy dear, I think that Larry deserves a dunking in the sea. Winford is needed badly.
Lidd dearie, your boning has gorn wrong...here let that bone out quickly before you get a punctured lung.
Oh dear, that let the fat cat out of the bag.
Never mind , you have to get some magic knickers instead.
May.

Magic gnickers eh May? I could use some of those!! What do they do exactly? Are they nicely scented or something? Is so they'll make a change from our old drawers. I may try gnitting some gnickers for my next trip to the sea-side. Did any of you lot have a gnitted swimsuit then, way back?

I'm very 'appy wiv me drawers ta very much May They is nice an' roomy an' comfy. Though me stoopid Bert used ta say I's could parashoot from a 'plane in 'em. Weren't nice was it gels, I say it weren't nice was it?

Not nice at all Lidd, but then again, what was nice about your Bert??
They are magic knickers Add, because they make you go faster I can get around the block in 10 minutes instead of 15 if I have my magic knickers on.
Jet propelled Maybelline.

That's me and McBark.
May.

Wow May! What kind of jet propulsion does that woofter have? Has he been on the baked beans? Best get Liddy some magic gnicks before we fly back to Leeds 'cause she has to do a bit of a dance and they might help. She's not as good on her feet as she used to be.

This life of sun, sea and sea sickness has to pause soon Lidd. We have to get back for Lavvy's do in Leeds. I'll need to sew the ferret back onto my hat before then and you'll have to get rid of that beard of yours and get your dancing shoes back from the pawnbroker. OldGoat is looking forward to hearing me sing, and so he should be to, and I expect that the odd person or two will want to watch you falling about dancing. When do we catch the helicopter?

Ooh Add I'm right excited luvvy *Jumps up and down* We is all set fer Leeds ain't we gel? I got me gear all ready already! Can we go now Add ay Add can we go now Add can we??
I 'ope Old Duffer knows our toon Add. I 'aven't gotta clue what we is singin' so's it will be a right surprise fer me ay?


*Jumps up and down* Ooh Add..there go me drawers! Got any elastic 'ave ya Add?

well....
the weather has changed

A gel can never be too well prepared though! It may be sunny today but once we get on that helicoppy thing it is going to be cold and windy so I am taking my second best wellies and some nice warm undies. I have heard about that Leeds place.

Yesterday evening in Headingley there were hundreds of students wearing 'next to nothing' but fancy dress traipsing all over the high street in pouring down rain. They seemed to be wandering from bar to bar.
I can just imaging you lot doing the same on Saturday in those massive drawers ! Wish I could be there

Thank you for following me into this thread - your first post, the first ever in two years in this thread, and it's not even on-topic

Following your attack the other day, on top of repeated previous harassment and my previous complaints to the moderators, I am taking action against both you and the ABRSM under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

I am pursuing the matter with my solicitors directly after the Leeds concert.

------------------------

In future, I'll probably be organising events from another forum - if I'm not around, one of my friends will have my email address if anyone wants to contact me. The one I'm working on at the moment is at a stately home in Somerset

Oh and by the way Saxfan, I'm sure you meant this as an insult...



...but I *LIKE* being a bit eccentric

And for your information, my friends like me just the way I am

And you'll never be one of them... sorry

Eeeh Lidd! (how's that for Yorktalk then old bean?) It's going to be handbags at dawn and tears before bedtime I'll be bound. I'm thinking of taking my best crocodile bag to Leeds. The one with the croc head on one side and the tail on the other. I'm sure that you'll remember it. It bit you that time in Derby Dale.
I don't think too much of this helithingy either. It's a bit too rough for me, being a gentle sort. We might have had a better trip in Winford.
Have you learnt your dance yet then Lidd? A pity that Great May won't be going but you know what she can be like where men in uniforms are concerned. One salute and she's orf!
Are you around Lidd? Now she's gorn orf too!

Well I dont expect to have to bail any of you lot out of Headingley prison on Monday morning !
So behave yourselves, and enjoy at the same time, if these two things are not mutually exclusive!

Well this Ol lady will be nowehere near the environs of Leeds, so your safe there.

I don't know abat Add and the rest, being bailed out by a youngster like you f#minor would be a such an excitement, than they migh get themsleves banged-up for pleasure of it.

Us getting put in prison? Huh! The very idea! We are refined old ladies who always behave perfectly, so there. Anyways we are still on this helicoppy thing making our way back to Lavvy's. I have my hat all ready.

I say old beans. What was Leeds like then. Did you get up to allsorts with Clarri, Bigmac, Rust Bucket and F#?
Nice helicopter ride was it. I got back from Malta early, because they were very boring and only had wine in the evenings
I had a ball with the Captain here though
May.

Hello dear. I think the others are still in Leeds, goodness knows what they're doing there. Is that a suntan or have you not washed for a few days?

Cheeky young thing you. It's a tan. I shower every morning, unlike Liddy, who has a bath at least once a year, but only if she needs it
Are you joining us on the cruise Joanie??
May.

I had no need to chuck rotten tomatoes at Liddy and Addy

There, you see Lidd! That Harry Parry was really impressed with our performances as usual. (He tries to hide it but he thinks that we are amazing! You can tell by the body language! )
We were rather splendid. A pity that that Village place wasn't down up to the standard of the Purple Camel but it was a good weekend, all in all. Panad Lidd?
I think that Great May may be back. Either that or she has squatters in her cottage. There was a right racket coming from her front room earlier.
Have a biscuit. I stole them from the people on the table next to us at the meal when they weren't looking. (Too busy watching you and George and that Hamber lady they were. )

I wasnt at the Leeds 'do' Bev. ! I'm there now though !

And so is Liddy!!! Liddy old thing, do be careful dear! You may not be aware of the perils of meeting strange men over the internet. And that Frederick Sharp the lesser does have something of a reputation in Headingley you know.
Have a wild time old bean, and take lots of photographs and then May can blackmail him. (He he he! I feel a shopping spree coming on May. What would those pictures be worth then? At least four figures I'm sure!!!!!!!!)
Panad May?

I never say no dear.........................to a panad that is, or much else if it's free
Compromising were they old bean??
Gordon Bennet Add, how did they manage that?? Oh I know, Liddy's been to yoga lately
What do you want to shop for then Add??
I could do with some new red sandals for the summer
May.

P.S. For F# the lesser. Who pray is Bev?? Her name keeps cropping up in this thread. She's nothing to do with me dear

Heavens May!! Just look at this one then! Lidd said that she was fumbling about under the table because she was trying to tie up her shoe lace. I don't believe a word of it seeing as she was wearing her slippers. Those yoga classes have paid off though.
Yes, about the shopping trip that we are going on very soon........ (Most generous of you Frederick Sharp the Lesser!) I would like some of those wellies with roses on, and a tent. I have always fancied a night out under the stars with nothing between me and the heavens but a tent. I want a new harmonium too after going round that museum place in Saltaire. It could double as a grooming tray in the stable.
Another panad and a look at the video that I got the waiter to take? Frederick doesn't know about that yet.

Didnt you look to see if I was under the table? I might be tonight though....

Did I hear mention of a panad?
Better not have any cake, it's been repeating on me suumat shocking lately.....

Cor, stone me, I ain't ever bin called a LADY before, nor 'ad me name pronounced with the whole haitch fing like. Makes me feel rite blinkin' posh. Gawd tho it was a rite larf tho that nite, weren't it! Even brort a smile to me bunion it did!

'amber from 'ackney x

[... helpfully thumps Ethel on the back to cure the burping...

oops too hard, she's knocked over the panad and got soaked right through to 'er corset ]




Lavvy

Careful Feather old thing. You'll do yourself harm and put an end to what could be a promising new career in the BBC sound effects department.
Ello 'Amber. 'Ow's life back in 'Ackney then old flower? Recovered from the weekend have you? Lidd and I were really pleased to meet you at last. We forum opera stars have to stick together you know. A dying breed we are.
And Frederick Sharp the lesser!! Well May, as if the last lot of pictures weren't bad enough! Now he's boasting about a repeat performance. (Or was that Feather?)
I can't stand the pace May, really I can't. Drop of something in your next panad? I don't suppose that Liddy will be back for days.

Don't worry, I know how to pace myself.
I'm thinking of taking my diploma some time soon.
There'll be an ad in the local paper about lessons next week too....

Hey up Add. It's that Snake lady again. She's got the wind
Hamber???? Hamber Did you mean Humber? My Dad had a Humber car for running around in. It saved money on the Rolls Royce and the Bentley.
I'll have a drop of Scotch in my panad dearie. Pretty wellies then Add? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'll have some RED hunter wellies I think. They'll look lovely with my fur coat.

May.

[...pours Scotch for May into her wellies to welcome her back... ]

These wellies are very squelchie Add Where on earth did that come from??
May sniffs them Ooh Add, they are full of scotch. Can't waste that can we. Glug glug glug.
Hic
May.

Good morning ladies.
I assure you your good friend Liddy is in one piece, and on her way home.

May, isn't it a little early for that? Does it taste any better after being in the wellies all night?