Abominable How rude Adeline, I hope you were joking. Just as well you weren't in Lidd's garden being as they were taking old relics away
Let's jazz Add, Serenade to a cuckoo. I feel a bit of ad libbing coming all over me like a hot flush wave of inspiration. Starts swinging

Calm yourself May, old thing. I used the word Abominable to imply that youir bass was some king of gigantis primate violin, nothing more.

(If May believes that Lidd, she'll believe anything! Gigantic primate eh? )

Swing away May and I'll join you on the kazoo. I have fixed it uo to the sound system to add a little volume.
Do you like my version of On Hearing the Last Cuckoo of Swing?

Here, have a Mary Warner butty and cheese. I made some with the last of Lidd's cuttings before the garden was cleared. They don't half lift the spirits. (Hope that Lavvy won't read this. )

Thash velly kinde hov yoo Addddddd. Lesh play again. Coooooookoooooooooo, cukoooooooooo. All thish swingin is making meeeeeeeee dizzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
May.

Yer knowwwww May, I neeeeeeeeeeever realished just how very very very beautifullllllll your new doubbbbbble basssss is with all of those sparkleyyyyyyy bits and things stuck on it. Will you make one for me, old rainbow?

What was that about cooking the first hero in Swing ?

Hehe! You tickle me pink Freddy ya really do, I say you tickle me pink Freddy!

Kettle's on

I could use a panad Lidd. I keep seeing double, and in rather vivid colours too. Did you enjoy our duet then Lidd? We were inspired, no less. That cuckoo ain't never 'ad t so good.

I fink you 'as eaten summink what don't agree wiv you's Add. Whatever was that din you an' May were makin' last night? Good job ya pal don't 'ear sa good nahdays innit? A right show you's made of yaselves ya really did make a right old show of yaselves swee'eart.

Anyways, me fella at number 42 was carted orf in a polis van yesterdy. Done fer dealin' summink or uvver. Can never tell what is goin' on in you's own back yard eh dear? I told the luvverly polisman that I was innocent an' 'e says "I can tell that is so Ms Coal-Bunker. But next time please do not put dirt in my helmet or I will arrest you for criminal damage". Flippin' cheek Add innit? I fought 'is 'elmet made a fine plant pot.

Ah well, I gotta do summink wiv me garden nah they 'as ruined it. What d'yous suggest then Add?

I'll make a panad while yous fink abaht it dear.

I have a bit of a head this afternoon
Lovely big hole in the garden Lidd, how about a swimming pool?
Add said she wanted a double bass in pink We'll have to get her one for her birthday. I'll buy one on Treebay, and spray paint it in shocking pink. Lidd, can I have one of your old necklaces to chop up and stick the diamonds on with blue tack?
I'd love a cuppa Lidd.
May.

Good idea May! I'm in already wiv me boy Fred. Come an' join us do ducky! Don't splash me 'air though cos I just 'ad it done.

Is it warm Lidd. I said IS IT WARM?? Gordon Bennet, she can't hear me.
Do you like my new cossie Lidd. I said DO YOU LIKE MY NEW COSSIE. Oh heck

Add and I are delighted to join you and Fred.
May

[.... cor, if that's 'er Freddy, ah fink ah'll get in wi' 'em, yer can't beat a bit o' bald can yer ...]




Lavvy

Nah thats not me, yers only got to 'ave a squint at my profile to see all the hair I've got (in several places too)

Who are you shoutin' at May, I say who are you shoutin' at??! Will you stop splashin' me 'air! I'll fump you's in a minnit I reelly will fump you's in a minnit

*What on earf are you's wearin'???*

If that ain't you Fred...who is it?? 'Ang on, I'll just get me specs on....

...besides ive got better pumpernickles, you can see theyre not mine

Lidd, is your Fred the whole ticket?? He keeps rattling on about German bread
MAy.

Oh yeah..I fought there was summink missin'! Hehe! Ain't no one got pumpernickles like you Fred Me boy's alright May..so there!!

'Ere gels, I've 'ad enuff of that swimmin' malarkey now. I got meself ready fer the Hoe Dahn at the Camel tanite! Yeehah, gels I say yeehah!!

Struth Lidd, what's with the baldy? He looks just like a tatooed boiled egg. Good idea making a swimming pool though, even if it is turning into a mud pool with all of this rain. Should you have bunged a liner in it first?
I can't think what happened to us last night. We played like angels or so we thought. We didn't get drunk or try any of those funny mushrooms of his at number 12. Dunno! Might have been something in the air I suppose.
Fancy him at number 42 being done for dealing. Cards is getting a dangerous game it seems. Fancy a game of snap after our panediau?

Yeah, I'll 'ave a game a snap wiv you's Add...I got these cards 'ere of me luvverly firemen You's 'ave ta match the ones wiv the biggest....fire engine

Mine's got a longer fire hose than yours Lidd!

Mine's gotta bigger water pump than yours Add!


SNAP!!

Isnt it the extending ladder thats important ??

ooh...mine's gotta whoppin' great ladder...


SNAP!!

Here you are Lidd. A colouring book for you to colour in dear.



Do you like it dear??

May.

Enough May! It was bad enough seeing in rather glorious technicolour after those cheese butties without encouraging Liddy to paste her new art work all over the kitchen walls. I have never ever seen a fireman wearing pink Lidd. Did you run out of yellow dear?
We need to get ourselves looking really smary today girls. There is a photographer coming to take pictures of us for the Anglesey Ladies calendar for 2009. My hat with the cherries and ferrets do you think?

Dont forget your tambourine Liddy !

Yooeee Fred! I got me tambourine dear, an' I'm all ready ta 'ave me picture took!

Am I a bit overdressed gels, or will I do? I'm right excited I'm tellin' ya!



*Shame Lavvy ain't 'ere innit? She 'ad a luvverly pair a marracas... *

[... Ah'm shakin' em Liddy, can yer 'ear me, ah said ah'm shakin 'em... ]



Lavvy

Ooh what is that din in me ear'ole??! Me tinny tuss is gettin' worse I'm tellin' you's me tinny tuss is gettin' worse..sahnds like summink what is bein' shaken. Whatever is it?

[.... din??? DIN???

Ah'm playing the Emperor Penguins' Concerto Ah'll 'ave you know ...]

Sahnds like someone is sayin "Penguin"...very odd..must tell me luvverly ear'ole doc when I sees 'im next...

Calendar for 2009. Is that like Calendar Girls. Am I going to have to go to Bravissimo again, then go to Cambridge market for some Cavello Nero before coming over here in me Ruby Slippers, Or do ya want me fully dressed?

Calender girls it is then


Like my s*xy undies Add, very good for going up those Welsh mountains in
May.

Well if the WI can get away with it I can't see why we can't.

I'm sure Addy's got a suitable array of fruit and veg growing in her garden and mountaineering in nowt ba' a thong is very liberating.

However, I'm glad I'm wearing the damart tracksuit for decencies sake you know. Don't want Lavvy anf fred getting excited about abit of fantasie, freya and panache.

Shame !

(Have good weekend ladies, probably not on line till Monday ! )

Yer'll miss the photo shoot then mate!

Probably just as well 'umber old bean. You've heard from our Lidd just how excited he gets at times. Like a charging bull he is!
Panad anyone? We can't eat the fairy cakes yet. We need them for the shoot.

Oi'll probably be orlright wiv jus' some baby muffins.....

I'll need two enormous Yorkshire Fat Rascals.
May

Lavvy xxx

I was thinking more in the line of



May.

Well that 'ol magic carpet came in useful. I went via Haverhill and found a patch of lacy figleaves, where I swiped their complete range of not so smalls and matching top halfs so what with the muffins and the fruit and veg, and may be a bit of help from Dobbin.... just as long as he doesn't fancy a diet of lingerie the shoot should be a success.

I've just got to get them back by monday... or I think they'll notice.

Weeeee!!! Add!!! We's avin' a fine old time waitin' fer this calender malarkey! Get them legs up gels!!

Whatta ya mean get ya clothes orf?? I don't fink so dear..me skin needs ironing..

Im trying to work out which is Liddy, which is Addy and which is May !
Gerremoff !

I do enjoy reading this thread!

I think you all excelled yourselves with the swimming pool bit - I have been in hysterics over the pictures (just what I needed at the moment, as one cannot be sad all the time).

Thanks for cheering me up!

Who are you then Barkshire Gran? (Mum, Lidd!!!! She's got years on us dear. I bet that she got her telegram fron Her Majesty YEARS ago!)

And to you Fred the Lesser, I am the beautiful one, May is the tarty one and Lidd if the other one as you very well know, you old duffer! (Don't waste your time with him Liddy. He's well past it. He can't even remember what you look like. )

It's a lovely day, if a bit windy. Walk on the beach, girls?

It'll never live. It's eyes are too close together.

You're probably right 'umber, but let's put it in a nice hay box by the fire just in case it revives a bit. I wonder if it wants a drink of water or some dog food. I think the photographer will be hard-pressed for subjects if he wants that on his calendar though, even if it does get better. It's very quiet at the moment. It's a cute little thing though.
Panad anyone or would you rather a slug of my home made brew? I have just got it out of the shed. It started off as a marrow filled with sugar and now that all of the goo has dripped out and fermented it's rather good! I've got biscuits too.
Wow! There's another of those things in the biscuit tin! I'll put it in the box by the fire with the other one. They can keep each other company.

No Amber dahling. I need one for each b**b. The fact that it's got 2 eyes is ireelevont. Hic.
May.