What no May Lavvy luvvy????

Blimey stroof an' flippin' 'eck Add

You specs are on the top of ya 'ead 'Umber dear..

or they could be on the end of your nose!!!

That Umber keeps fiddling with those specs of hers. No wonder she doesn't know where they are most of the time.

Perhaps they haven't finished May's paperwork yet.


Let's try another spirit.

NOT UNLESS YOU'VE BLOWN 'ER UP LIKE WOT YOU DID TO ME

Did we blow Lavvy Up Lidd? I blame you!

IF YER'V FINISHED WITH ME, WILL YER PUT THEM GLASSES BACK IN A PROPER CIRCLE, I'M ALL CHURNED UP I AM, AH SAID AH'M ALL CHURNED UP :

Weren't my fault!! I diddun know you was in me 'ouse when the gas bloo up!! You won't let me forget will ya Lav?? Sorry darlin'...

I 'ope you is well anyway Lav..

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE THERE, APART FROM LAVVY OR THAT FELLOW IFOR WHO CAME THROUGH LAST TIME?





y e s

AS WELL AS A DEAD PERSON CAN BE, 'SPOSE

TtHAT'S GOOD TO HEAR LAV.


G O A N D P U T T H E H E N S T O B E D A D D .

Ahhh...that's good innit? I'm glad you is well dear. 'Avin' fun up there are ya? 'Ere Lav...give me old pal Wiggy a message for me dear. Tell 'im 'is biggest fan in the weld..Ms Lydia Coal-Bunker...wishes for 'im to teach 'er the Emperor Pianer moosic upon 'er demise. Ta duck!

Who else is here then Add?

T T F N THEN YOU OLD NUTTERS

TATA LAVVY. NICE NOT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.



I don't know who that was Lidd but it was good advice. I've just been and closed the sheds up for the night.





WHO ARE YOU PLEASE?

Ooh I say... She's callin' you a nutter Add! See ya then Lav!

Huh! How rude! Ah well. No sign of May yet. Perhaps she'll make herself known soon enough.


The glass is off again.......

'Ang on Add..let me get me pen...what's it sayin'?

I can't follow it. You write the letters down and then we'll try to read it.




Y O U T W O H A V E M A N Y Y E A R S L E F T O N T H I S E A R T H B E F O R E Y O U P A S S O V E R .



Struth Lidd. I can't make it out at all.


It's off again.


N O G O O G L O O K I N G F O R M A Y C A U S E S H E S N O T H E R E S O T H E R E .

Got that lot Lidd?

Err...I fink so Add. Basically we 'ave buried someone what ain't dead! Can we be in trouble fer that?? You planned it... it was your idea... you went to the 'ouse an' put all that stuff on ebay...I only 'ad a tin of prunes what were bloomin' 'orrible...

Ooh dear...nah what do we do..

Don't panic Lidd. I am sure that she is dead really. They must just be a bit slow in processing her. You can't get the angels these days.

I expect that she'll come through to our next seance in a few weeks time.

I'm off to find out what I can have as a bed time snack out of her hamper. Want a last panad of the day before you sleep in the stable Lidd?

Alright then Add...I'll 'ave a panad swee'eart. Me 'eart is fumpin' like a steam train Add. The polis will knock on the door lookin' fer May..they will Add..I can feel it in me water duck.

'Ere...why am I in the stable then?

evenin laddy's

Because Dobbin snores badly and you won't mind and because I want my bed back.

I am sure that the police won't be knocking on our doors Lidd. After all they told us to go ahead and sort out the funeral and signed her off as being dead. Just because Lavvy didn't find her it doesn't mean that she isn't there. It must be a massive place. She may have gone to the other place of course. She'll know more people there knowing our May. She always was a bit of a devil.

How about a slice of tinned Dundee cake. This was one of May's too. I think that it was a pressie from the Big Mac fellow that she had her eye on.

Do you like nuts? if not I'll pick them off your bit.

'Ello Gert. You missed the sayonse ducky. Me and Add is in big bovver cos she buried May but May ain't dead! Bit of a pickle to be in innit?

OK Add..I'll calm dahn enuff ta eat Mays cake. ta duck. I'm partial to nuts dear.

Anyone on MSN?
Ill sign in if so.

If May was alive she'd be here. If that whale ate her she'd be in lots of very small bits by now. We have the death certificate so she has really gone. It's a funny thing, grief Lidd. It makes you try to believe things that aren't so.

You ok Gert? Wrecked any more food recently Gert?

i just made brownies

do you have msn / yahoo?

No. I am a little old duck of 97 who doesn't even know how to turn the radio on and get a decent picture.
My tumble dryer is a line in the yard and my food mixer is an old wooden spoon with a burnt bit on the top. All this may change soon though. May's first item has just sold on ebay for £497! Not bad for a bit of junk jewellry eh?

Oooh well done Add! What we gonna do wiv the money then? We can 'ave a bit of a do eh?

That was the first of very many Lidd. I put them all on three day auctions to get shot of them as soon as possible the whole sad affair over quickly.

We can spend on proper food and new clothes now Lidd. I could have my house done up by a real builder and a proper painter and decorater.

Look, there goes another item That old chair of hers just made £2500. May would have wanted this for us Lidd.

America is good. only here for another week now.
nice and warm

This is one of the two dogs my cousin has... shes 4 years old - called Abbey.
(she was named after the Abbey Gadens in bury st edmunds, incase you wanted to now)
We dont know what she is... we call her a Schneagle though, schnouzer cross with a beagle we now atleast, but there are more breeds mixed in lol.

Stroof Add..I do believe I am gonna faint dear...

*Faints*

Told ya...

Oohh! That dog 'as got odd cloloured eyes! Sweet though. You mean you will be back soon Gert. Our peace is shattered Add I say our peace is shattered darlin'.

haha, she has racoon eyes, the black around them

What did you go and put coloured contacts on your dog for Gert? She'll have to put a bag over her head to go out now. She looks like a hairy lakeland terrier cross to me. I'd be cross if I had to wear those lenses. mind!

Nos da all.

I'm orf too an' all as well. Sorry Gert..we'll 'ave a chat when ya get back dear.

Night all xx

Mornin'. Fancy thinking I was dead. wall: hand: hand does not go through wall. See I'm really me. I've not popped any clogs or slippers. I'm alive, and have whipped up some Harrow Mess for you all as Gert is still in America.

Panad anyone? Just because I leave the Llefrith out does not mean I cannot put it in for the rest of you.

We blame Lavvy. It was she who said that she had found May or summat. She was clearly wrong on both counts. We never could trust her when she was alive and now that she's a ghost she's even worse. Always playing tricks on the likes of us, trying to scare us to death so that we can go off and join her. Huh!
I'll have a o panad Summat. Llefrith, dwr peoth a dim byd arall os gwelwch chi'n dda. None of that tea leaf rubbish. I can't stand the taste of that.
Any sign of Lidd today?

OK Addy, I haven't seen Liddy yet. I keep thinking I've caught glimpses of May, then I think I must be seeing things, but as she didn't arrive at your seance, maybe I'm right.

We Ought to do the flower duet ol bean from Lack May. That way we'll soon know for sure.

Did i hear harrow mess on the menu?
Let me go pick some beetroot. i can make it 10 times better with a little candied beets, jellied eels, and a radish or two.

Summat, your Harrow mess was summat of a mess old bean. I don't think that you followed your usual recipe today. It was a bit heavy on the beetroot juice for my liking. It went down rather well with the hens though. Perhaps they'll lay pink eggs tomorrow.
Any sign of Liddy? She seems to have gone off too. First May, now Lidd. Still, if she's gone and died too I can have her curlers.

Trots off to find Lidd's set of curlers and then sets to work putting waves in Dobbin's mane and tail.

Gert got to the pudding again!

I haven't seen Liddy either, I do hope we don't need to contact her by via another medium!

Addy Ol bean, If you don't hear from me over the next two weeks fret not, the family are taking me to a place without these computer thingys to keep in touch.

She's running at Nottingham today (14.35) !

if anyone would like them, i made us some turnip and raccoon hair henchiladas.

Now, that sounds like our sort of food Gert. Well done Old Bean. Any custard to go with them? What are henchiladas by the way?

a flattened hen, rolled out.
Like a corn tortilla, except this was fed corn.

then made like an enchilada.

Cooooeeeee Girls. I'm back.

Oh heck, Add, I say Addy

I've been burgled, quick send for the police, me straddy has gorn.

What an end to a smashing holiday with Sailor Sam on his lovely yacht all around The Isle of Wight.

May.

[... leaves May a new Straddlevarious...]


Lavvy x

Wow, what a corker, what a lovely new straddy you've bought me girls. A tear comes to my eye. YOu must think so much of me.
May.

Well, don't poke yourself in the eye with the violin bow next time then.

Clarri Larry, back so soon from a ride on Winford????
Very witty dear, you are so sharp you'll cut yourself
I can't get into my house very easily, but there is a terrible mess inside. The nice young (fit) police man tells me that I was buried last week, and what am I doing here. So I have explained all, and he's after Addy and Liddy with a very large police dog
Hmmmmmmmm. Whatever have they been doing??
May.

oh dear :S
hurricane fay is on her way.
Due to hit tuesday.
Im supposed to leave wednesday...
might be here another week now.

Flip Lidd. Great May is back!!!! She wasn't eaten by a wild whale at all, but went off to the Isle of Wight for a holiday.

Now she thinks that she has been burgled. Oh dear! It was a perfectly dishonest[ honest mistake though. As the police told us to go ahead, and because the Coroner gave us her death certificate we thought that it would be ok to help ourselves to her stuff. After all we are her best pals and it was what she would have wanted wasn't it? We just got there a bit early, that's all.

By the way Lidd, we have done really well with all of that stuff on eBay. There is a place there called Feetish so I put her pairs of red shoes and booth there and we got hundreds for them. Our total is up to £34,567 already. Good eh? Should we offer it back to May though? She might want to buy some new furniture and things. Perhaps we should invite her round for a panad and explain. I'll leave the explaining bit to you Lidd. You always have a knack of tying people up in knots and by the time you've finished she won't know if she's coming or going or dead or not!
Where are you by the way ? Lidd? Are you hiding? That's a lovely big dog that you have dear? Is he new? He looks like one of those big police dogs. He'll make a great guard dog for the place.
Panad?