Lovely cake Add, although let's try brandy next time, and whisky the time after. Sherry at Christmas for a special occasion.
OK I'll have a shower twice a day

oh eer addy!
you havent put gin on yer cake, youve dropped yer cake in yer pint'a gin!

Don't tell her Gert, she's quite happy spooning it out

Yooeee gels an' Gert! 'Ave ya missed me then or what? I bin everso busy doin' the fandango wiv Fred the Lesser gettin' meself ready ta play in the castle on Satdy. I'm gonna bash abaht a bit on the pianer an' warble a song. Then old Lavvy's gonna drop by so's I can play the pianer fer 'er an' all. I is in demand gels I say I is in demand!

Me old mum an' dad were gonna come but me old dad is a bit poorly so's they ain't comin' nah. That's a shame innit?

I say you's lot...ya look a right sight in ya pelmets an' 'andkerchiefs what don't cover too much Ya wobblin' abaht all over the place. Addy dear...ya need some sturdy upholstery darlin'. I bin watchin' ya's on the radio. Put me orf me dinner more than once I don't mind tellin' ya. Good job I ain't bin there...I woulda beat the lot of ya's! When I was a gel, I won the "Most Sequins on a Ballroom Dress" competition at me dancin' school. Ain't my fault I've always bin a big gel.

'Ere...that CE an' DC are doin' the awards fingy tanite. 'Ave any of you's lot writ a speech yet?

I've got to make a speech?!?

'Ow very kind of ya's ta volunteer ya services Harry darlin'!

*cough*

I would not be where I am today without Liddy.










(is that a good thing?!?)

'Course it is ducky! Nah ya gotta say 'ow truly honoured ya are ta know a luvverly lady such as meself

And you have to mention as well and how truly amazing our performances have been and how Add, Lidd and OldGoat should have wone Best Trio to appear at a Forum Concert too.
I have just ironed my best hat for tonight and got out my old string vest as it has turned a mite chilly.
Panad and slug of gin anyone? Or panad and slug slice? I made some apple slices yesterday but the maggots got to the apples first so I cooked them as well and added the couple of slugs that I found in the fruit basket. I may offer some to the winner of the most awards this evening. Would that be Harry Parry?

That'll teach him to jilt you, Lidd.

So, OLTVA, what are you going to do with your forum award you won last night?

Good morning Harry. We are going to use it in our kitchens to store our used tea bags in ready for re-use when we have visitors. It is coming to Gert's house first and then we will all have it in turn until it is time to give it back next year.
Panad with a dash of lighter fluid anyone? I got a bit of a taste for it last night.

Did we win something Add?? What did we win??

Yes we did May. Best Dressed Forumites I think. That skunk Harry Parry rigged the votes and won lots of awards. We'll mug him the next time he takes them all out for a walk.(He does this everr evening just to show off!) and melt them down and turn them into something useful, like bracelets.
Panad May? Then I am going away for a dirty weekend little holiday.

the trophie is proving a great trellis for my beetroot seedlings, unfortunatly there is a little birds mess, but it adds the flavour, so ive left it there.

Addy dearest, well done in the dance competition. You did so well, and what a shame your opposite number's heel came orf her shoe, such a disappointment to her
I think Lidd and F the lesser did awfully well getting to the quarter finals, and I disagree with the judges decision that they cheated. I think wheelies on Lidd made her very graceful, but you can't argue with them.
So it's the tango next week for you, and the rumba for me.
May.

I can't think what happened to her shoe heel, May, unlsee it was because I happened to see it in the dressing room before the show and happened to almost saw through it by mistake with my hacksaw little nail file. I forgot te mention it to her.
I don't think that those wheeled trainers that Liddy wore were to cheat in any way. It is just that she has such horrid little pigs' trotters small feet that none of the regular dance shoes would fit. Seemed a fine idea to me!
My tango is coming on well, especially the bit where I have to rub my leg up and down my fellow dancer's thigh. I have been rehearsing to an old record of New Fangled Tango all morning. I've got the just sort o' stand there and just sort o' do it stuff down to a tee now.
Panad and slice of beetroot pastry with apple May? It was one of Maggotymay's recipes. Is she any relation to you by the way Great May?

Woooo...I can't stop meself...fling ya arms open wide Freddy an' try ta catch me before I fall dahn ducky...wooooo....look aht!!!

Gordon Bennet Add, Lidd has landed in a heap on top of F the Lesser. What a tangle of arms, legs and what not
Lidd, Fred
Speak to me.

I can't speak to ya May dear..I's 'avin' a fine old time wiv Freddy all tangled up wiv Freddy's elbow stuck where an elbow diddun oughta be..

Goodness me you two, get a room! Actually do get a room and then we can blackmail Fred the lesser by threating to show yet more pics to his wife.

Hey May, try to get hold of Liddy's new movable phone thingy and we'll send a texty message to Fred telling him to meet her at the Plaza Hotel, room 6 and then we'll do the same to Mrs Fred the Lesser as if it came from Fred. That'll be a right laugh when he walks in and finds his wife there eh May? Let's go and ring the Plaza now. Tell them that we need room 6 next week. Good plan eh?


Right, enough of this tango rubbish; I'm off to the Camel for this week's silent movie show. It isn't a proper silent film though. It is just that the sound system has gone wrong. The Hours was really funny with no sound.

something tells me a silent musical wont be too good.
We shall see, i have my seat ready at the front!

Hmmmph!! You is jellus right enough Addy Nuff! I took me battery outa me carrying phone fingy 'cos I needed a noo one in me kitchen clock. It diddun fit so's I chopped a bit orf of it. Nah it don't work at all. Don't make fings like they used to ay?

Anyways, when's it my turn to 'ave the award what we won the uvver night then? I needs summink ta stick me poor old Iva's ashes in.

Shut up everyone; it's starting.

we get it 3 months at a time

*loud rustle of toffees and loud sounds of lip smacking*

Hello!

Ooh my blood pressure! I think I just blew a valve!

Oh good. Brief Encounter. I hope that it is't about undergarments.

'Arry!! 'Ow are ya me old duck?

ELLO DARLIN'

There goes another valve. Call me an ambulance quick before I expire.

i thought youd already expired.
Maybe you just need a shower?

*dials 911*

It's 999 you fool Gert.

Too late, too late. I can see a bright white light. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.





Hang on a bit.....get that torch out of my face you stupid twirp. I thought that my end had come them Lidd.

Sorry Addy dear..I got meself a job as an usherette type fingy. Want some pop corn do ya darlin'?

Go on then. I might as well stop being quiet as no one else is either. Let's sing!

Look ,there's the train!

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

Do be quiet Add! I is enjoyin' the film dear! 'Ave a suck on ya popcorn swee'eart.

oo wants some crackerjacks!

Ain't got none...'ere stick ya mahf togevver wiv me toffees...

That film wasn't very good. I preferred eating popcorn

Yeah it was rubbish weren't it? Ta everso fer sharin' ya popcorn wiv me 'Arry dear. We woz ever so comfy in them back seats weren't we ducky?

*Don't tell Fred though*

Do think that throwing bits of the popcorn at Gert was an unwise idea though...

Ere ladies!
ive just woken up on t'floor of the camel, wheres me purse!
and whats all this fluffy stuff in me hair for!?

Not sure Gert. Maybe you have been attacked by a popcorn monster
Did Lidd ever get out of Fred's clutches Add?
May.

Lidd's gone away somewhere for a "bi' o' peace an' quiet" after that night at the camel. I thought that my end had come, i really did, and that Lavvy was coming to get me. Awful it was!
A funny thing May, but Fred the Lesser has gone away for a bit of peace and quiet too!!!

It is such a lovely day that Eddie and I are off to the beach. Do you want to follow on old Dobbin, May? Time that he had another outing. We can stop at the post box on the way as I have some ebay things to post. (Not anything to do with the last of your things that we sold when we thought that you'd died May. Nothing of the sort!)

Lovely day for a ride Add.
By the way, I've rescued my red shoes from your bag, they are my favourites you know old girl.

They can go in the wardrobe with all the other red shoes.
Like my red riding boots Add??

Lovely soft leather Add.
Shall we have a cuppo, caoppo, cappuchino, a coffee Add, at the cafe??
May.

How enormous is Addy's bag? Must be bottomless!...

Huge Clarri, absolutely ginormous.

Actually, come to think of it, why do you get Addy to carry all your shoes around for you anyway?

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Harry. i am selling them on ebay. I'll smuggle them back this afternoon and get them posted off before May notices. She'll be drunk after the beach anyway. She always takes brandy with her coffee.


Lovely boots May. Don't dig those heels into Dobbin's sides though. he'll unseat you if you do.

Unseated Add. Sounds like a Lord someone or other I used to know.
I am watching my shoes like a hawk Addy Nuff.

He he he! I managed to take two pairs to the post office early this morning. May never surfaces until at least 8.30 on a good day so I have a few moments to smuggle out a few more.
I'll take Eddie down to the post now and then he can come back to have his morning hay and I'll go about my music practice as if nothing has happened. May has so many pairs that she won't notice a few missing.