He was evidently practicing for his new starring role in Lowersinth's musical extravaganza - Dagwood: the Musical. So was Quackers.

For some reason, they were wearing WW1 flying helmets ???!!!

Maybe he heard that lot at Dyrham singing " Oh What A Lovely War"

Hiya Ladies, Fred Sharp the lesser here. I just have to tell you I have a date with your mate Norma on Tuesday . Not telling you what we're going to do though

*Dagwood lands beside the duck house*

Dagwood: QUAAAACK! quack, quack quuuaaaaak, qak, qak, quacccck, quack!

Quackers:

Other ducks:

Lowersinth: Dagwood! What have you done?

Dagwood:

What has that duck been and gorn and done now???

http://www.khmerkromrecipes.com/photo_recipes/tearquay.jpg

Great Aunt Dilys may be an'undred n wun, n still stripping in a Ho Chee Min City night club, but gawd luv a duck, she can still get 'er chops around this little beauty

Hey! found my Manual!

Hello Dilys! Congrats on being 1001

Yooee! I can't remember if I is dead or not...


I'll put the kettle on while I fink abaht it.

As the proverbial doornail, Ms Coal Bunker (without the hyphen)!

Ta everso fer sortin' that aht fer me Normal or wotever you's name is.

I don't feel dead. Funny that innit? 'Oo else is 'ere then? I'm gonna 'ave a wander rahnd and see if I can find me pal Wiggy in the moosic department. Will 'e play 'is Empra pianer moosic for me? Eh? will 'e? eh? Don't answer me then ya daft old bat. I'll find aht fer meself.

Yoo-hoo, Lydia Coal Bunker, me ol' pal - at least yer were me ol' pal till ya did me in Still I'm raight glad ya did, luv, I've 'ad a raight good time up 'ere.

There's a concert on s'afternoon by that cousin o' yours - Coal Porter, ya coming wiv me???

Lavvy

Gawd strike a light, Lavvy (which I believe is wot I did ta cause you's untimely demise innit! Hehe!) so much fer rest in peace eh? Not much chance of that nah is there? 'Ow are ya's darlin'? So sorry I blew me 'ouse up when you wos on the lavvy luvvy. 'Ope ya diddun feel too much of a blast up the rear, dear.

I'll come wiv ya's to see me cousin Coal in a minnit. I wanna see if stoopid Bert is still sniffin' arahnd Annie Philactic. I'll kill 'im if 'e is, I say I'll kill 'im good an' proper.


'Ere Lavvy...can ya's kill someone wot is already dead?

Oh welcome back ladies, ducks, angels and everyone. It's been quiet without you, and I've missed you!

I say my spooky fiends, let's haunt that old Crochet Mum.
May swoops down and changes all the crotchets into quavers............cheese flavour.

Do I have to call myself cheeseyquaverymum now?

No, but you have to play everything twice as fast!

*Norma secretly marks all the rests in Crotchetymum's music as fortississimo*

Hope you have a nice loud rest QuaveryMum.

There must be more music to haunt Norma.

Well, I've tried simply turning odd sections upside down and throwing wierd accidentals in at random throughout the score, but it wasn't very successful - the memorisers just ignored it and the sight-readers didn't notice anything was wrong!

Yoohoo Lavvy luvvy! Just got you's a cake for you's birfday darlin'. Dunno if we 'ave birfday's in 'eaven but 'ere you's are anyways. 'Ave yaself a good day ducky. Get all dressed up smart tanite. There's a new show on at the Cloud Nine club. Some male angels doin' a turn. Ladies only. Dunno what they are doin' but they call themselves Heaven Forbid. Sahnds good eh? We'll drag May along an' all. Lotsa love Lavvy dear. Liddy xxxx





*throws a lump of icing at Crotchetymum*

Club...........men...................drink...............COME ON THEN.

May throws hundreds and thousands at Crotchey Mum to go on top of the icing

Eh up, luvvy, that's a raight grand cake - it'll go champion with me tripe and onions I'm 'aving for me birthday tea, ta ever so much. Ah've 'ad a smashin' day so far, an' now I'm off to see that Doris Day film at the Angel picture 'ouse - the one called "Don't eat the Daisies"

D'ya fink we should leave a bit o' me cake for that crochety woman. She's got a twin sister ya know, called Minny, y'often see 'em together. Wouldn't it be funny if we stuffed a bit 'o me tripe into the cake, he he


Lavvy

All I remember was flying off on some old carpet with some red shoes that could get me anywhere before the reinactment of the chainsaw massacre.

As I wanted to remain old rather than dead, I thought I'd lay low and perfect the cookery where no-one would interfere.

Now whose alive and who do I need a medium to communicate with?

Thanks for the icing - deeee-lishus. And a bit of cake would go down lovely (reminds self to double-check for tripe before eating it)

We specialise in tripe on this thread!

Hiya Else! Most are still alive (but laying low) Addie, Lavvy, Liddy, Great Aunt May have died or been otherwise slaughtered. I started off dead. Gerry is also now dead?

Norma-Lee Moore-Seine

I may not be around for much longer

Did somebody call? I'll have you know I am now called Jed .

I can't get the hang of this flying thing. How is it that ghosts can walk through walls yet when I hit the ground I just get an enormous headache? I am obviously not holding my wings right for landings, but at least I can go supersonic now .

And they call me "Mad".

Andre Breton and Jean Cocteau would be proud of this thread.

Jed, Quote: Reference the Angel's Flying and Air Traffic Control Manual - Section 7 subsection 4.2 - landings...
...always land FEET FIRST! landing head first is both undignified and - as you have discovered - quite painful!

Norma-Lee

Norma, he still hasn't quite got it. Look at that tree where Jed has crash landed...........good job it wasn't the womping willow.

OK I have tried landing feet first - can you get a decent pair of thick soled shoes here to act as a proper undercarriage? Although my headache has nearly gone, I now have very sore feet, especially when that blasted oak got in the way of my landing.

[Good job we have tinternet thingy up here - I have had to look up that tree of May's and found it is something to do with Harry Potter I have seen some of his films and he has lots of weird people in them who can do strange things real people cannot do - good job we are not like that, eh?]

Come on girls, let's get the Opera Babes. That Moley chappie likes them.
I have put itching powder in their underwear............that'll be interesting.
What are you going to do Liddy??

Stroof whatta pair of 'ussies May I say May what a pair of bloomin' 'ussies them gels are. Makes ya look a saint May they really makes ya look like a saint an' no mistake. Strikes me they ain't wearin' no undewear ta put ya pahder into ducky.

Tells ya what, I'll saw the 'eels of their shoes a bit so's they fall over when they stand in 'em. Be a laugh eh?

Kettle's on.

Nice one Lid.
I'll have a cuppa please.
Oooh look, they are jumping around like they've got nits Hey ho, over she goes, that was naughty Lid, doing her heels like that.
Cake??

Did somebody mention cake??

When I became an the first thing I was offered was Angel Cake - and it was scrumptious.

One lump of sugar in my tea, please. Then I must see if I can master this flying business - it's worse than learning to play the flute . By the way, those gels certainly jiggle up and down in the right places, eh!

Jed

Jed I've a pair of ruby slippers that are much more reliable in the landing department. However being a ladies size 3 they may be a tight petite. You could always try out the flying carpet, however, I've found out that it only responds to one owner namely me... this adaptation was made after addy and lidd tried to get me kidnapped and I needed a reliable escape method. After they tried to confiscate the shoes, it was carpet to the rescue... even after they tried to burn the poor thing... it being impervious to imolation, unlike my poor grandaughter's face and hair!

Deary me seeing those scars heal was enough to make a poor grandmother wince... let alone her poor children!

Maybe they thought it was a frying carpet! But those of us in the afterlife don't need such things as flying carpets. Look, Jed, you just need to use more flaps when coming in - say about 20 degrees should do it - and don't forget to flare at the last moment! Oh! and avoid high fibre! - great for take-off, but can really mess up a good landing!

Thank you jod (jod and Jed - what a pair!) I think I have solved the foot problem now. I have found in a cupboard a pair of flying boots. They should protect my feet OK as presumably they are designed for flying .

Now, I was giving plenty of flapping, but I guess that is not the same thing as 20 degrees of flap. I think I will have another look at the manual, as that might help me understand what flaring is. This silly white dress I am wearing doesn't seem to have a flared skirt.

If it's not flared, then youneed a split, 1940's style Jed. Get busy with the seam rippers.

Excuse me, but nobody is ripping my seams .

Anyway, can't I get a decent pair of trousers here, it might make my flying much easier?

Feathers might be helpful

May, would you have a look at my back - I naturally assumed that my Angel Wings would have feathers in them....

...that could explain why I can't fly properly, if there are no feathers.

And I am NOT wearing feathers anywhere else but on my back, so that's final.

Are you sure?? I've always found it helpful when.................oh never mind.

Try these.

Oh yes, May, flared trousers - very funny . I was actually thinking of something like those brave RAF chaps wear - you know, with zips....these seem to be a bit lacking in that department

Lowersinth: The perfick gentleman? Cor Blimey! E's at it again, Norm, I say, E's at it again!
E's not actually perfect - but parts of 'im are still quite reasonable for 'is age
Dagwood: "Quack, Quaaaaaack!"
You may well say that, Dagwood, and I'd be hard pushed to disagree

At least Elsie can wrap him in the magic carpet if he misbehaves and send him to the other side of the world.

(Just like Addy and Lidd did to her, but they didn't realise she was wearing her ruby slippers)

Lowersinth can ride shotgun on the (just salvaged) Wing Cycle behind the magic carpet, to make sure he stays in line!