Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Mad Lot!
Forums > ABRSM > Forums Cafe > New Members
Pages: 1, 2
Charlies Aunt
Hello Crazy Gang!

Was thinking of joining before, but hadn't reckoned on your sense of humours being as warped as mine!! tongue.gif tongue.gif Looking forward to hearing from you biggrin.gif
Deborah
You don't have to be mad to post here, but it helps!

Welcome aboard, and here's to many hours spent in one of the greatest wastes of time yet invented!
Car Expert
Welcome Charlie's Aunt! smile.gif

Don't forget to check out the various awards threads, and you can always have a bite to eat or a sip to drink at our own ABRSM Platinum Blend Cafe (Come In, Sit Down). smile.gif

Car Expert
carol*piano
Welcome biggrin.gif I've seen you around! Hope you like it here! wink.gif
Frederic Chopin
Welcome, Charlies Aunt! cool.gif
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(carol*piano @ Jul 31 2006, 03:40 PM) *

Welcome biggrin.gif I've seen you around! Hope you like it here! wink.gif


OOOH no. Weren't me guv! I've got an alibi! biggrin.gif thanks for the welcome folks tongue.gif
Charlies Aunt
Hello All

Thought I'd been lost in the ether for a minute. All my details disappeared. Does tis happen often? blink.gif
bobifier
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 10:15 AM) *

Hello All

Thought I'd been lost in the ether for a minute. All my details disappeared. Does tis happen often? blink.gif

Just the once!

Try asking Car Expert for a job, then you can get a job! biggrin.gif
Guest
QUOTE(bobifier @ Aug 1 2006, 02:14 PM) *

QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 10:15 AM) *

Hello All

Thought I'd been lost in the ether for a minute. All my details disappeared. Does tis happen often? blink.gif

Just the once!

Try asking Car Expert for a job, then you can get a job! biggrin.gif


I have been unregistered and it's making me feel very queasy sad.gif I can't log in or start a nwe message (or spell) or anything! Where have I gone blink.gif It's lonely in unregistered land sad.gif Help I'm fading .........fa..st........
Guest
QUOTE(Guest @ Aug 1 2006, 03:13 PM) *

QUOTE(bobifier @ Aug 1 2006, 02:14 PM) *

QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 10:15 AM) *

Hello All

Thought I'd been lost in the ether for a minute. All my details disappeared. Does tis happen often? blink.gif

Just the once!

Try asking Car Expert for a job, then you can get a job! biggrin.gif


I have been unregistered and it's making me feel very queasy sad.gif I can't log in or start a nwe message (or spell) or anything! Where have I gone blink.gif It's lonely in unregistered land sad.gif Help I'm fading .........fa..st........

[b]I am not a guest, I am Charlies Aunt....... OOh dear- don't like this..........
Car Expert
Weird... maybe Christine could fix the problem...

Car Expert
Guest
It appears unregistered members can post blink.gif.
Guest
Although only, it seems, to this topic....
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:17 PM) *

Weird... maybe Christine could fix the problem...

Car Expert


Hello Car Expert- where do I find Christine? She's not a car is she? Thank you
Car Expert
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 04:32 PM) *
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:17 PM) *
Weird... maybe Christine could fix the problem...

Car Expert
Hello Car Expert- where do I find Christine? She's not a car is she? Thank you
No, she's not a car (laugh.gif), she's a moderator. Do you want me to contact her via PM (Personal Message)? smile.gif

Car Expert
Car Expert
Charlies Aunt,

I have just sent a PM to Christine. She will try and investigate the problem. smile.gif

Car Expert
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:35 PM) *

QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 04:32 PM) *
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:17 PM) *
Weird... maybe Christine could fix the problem...

Car Expert
Hello Car Expert- where do I find Christine? She's not a car is she? Thank you
No, she's not a car (laugh.gif), she's a moderator. Do you want me to contact her via PM (Personal Message)? smile.gif

Car Expert


Would be grateful if you would, please biggrin.gif Thank you tongue.gif
Car Expert
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 04:51 PM) *
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:35 PM) *
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 1 2006, 04:32 PM) *
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 03:17 PM) *
Weird... maybe Christine could fix the problem...

Car Expert
Hello Car Expert- where do I find Christine? She's not a car is she? Thank you
No, she's not a car (laugh.gif), she's a moderator. Do you want me to contact her via PM (Personal Message)? smile.gif

Car Expert
Would be grateful if you would, please biggrin.gif Thank you tongue.gif
Sorry, we just happened to reply at the same time:
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 04:51 PM) *
Charlies Aunt,

I have just sent a PM to Christine. She will try and investigate the problem. smile.gif
Car Expert
lucietake2
hi car expert i just i realised i dont have a job in the cafe! could you give me one please? *gets down on knees and begs* thankyou smile.gif xxx
Car Expert
QUOTE(lucietake2 @ Aug 1 2006, 04:54 PM) *
hi car expert i just i realised i dont have a job in the cafe! could you give me one please? *gets down on knees and begs* thankyou smile.gif xxx
OK, here's the job list. You can choose an existing job or make one up. smile.gif
QUOTE(secondary subsitutional manager OR The Very Busy Man @ Jul 24 1684, 28:30 JM)
~ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©~
Have a rest in our bar



Employees Hired:


Management
  • 1 Manager: Wobby
  • 1 Substitutional Manager: Purple Dolphin
  • 1 Second Substiutional Manager: Car Expert
  • 1 Recruitment Officer: Car Expert
  • 2 Administrators: Bob [Car Expert's Penguin] + Lady Bobbington [Bob's wife]


Economy & Health
  • 1 Advertiser: Rainbow
  • 1 Advertiser Assistant: Choddy
  • 1 Chiropedist: Crazy Cow
  • 1 CPR/First Aid Specialist: Kayladavies
  • 1 Official Orthodontist: Talitha
  • 1 Plastic Surgeon: Teabag
  • 1 Reflexologist: Noodle
  • 1 Resident Doctor: Daisy
  • 1 Resident First Aider: SuzyMac
  • 1 Stripper: Musicbox
  • 1 Therapeutical Hugger: Crazy Cow
  • 2 Accountants: Boo Radley + Purple Dolphin
  • 2 Manicurists: Crazy Cow + MattD
  • 3 Hairdressers: Crazy Cow, Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak + Princesa Siempre Vendre


Food & Drink
Food
  • 1 Resident Bowl Of Green Jello: Willow129
  • 2 Delicatessen Servers: FluteAndBassoon and Violin-Ann
  • 1 Cheese Supervisor: Superpyroman
  • 1 Head Chef: Amber
  • 1 Apprentice Head Chef: Deborah
  • 11 Chefs: AlyssaBullockSingh, Belle, Car Expert, CrazyDudette22, Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak, Musicbaby, Princesa Siempre Vende, Purple Dolphin, S8535049, Trebor + Uberzoldat
Drink
  • 1 Bartender: Hulk
  • 1 Bartender Assistant: Purple Dolphin
  • 1 Coffee Bar Specialist: Violin-Ann
  • 1 Resident Sherry Expert: Cyrilla
  • 1 Wine Waiter: Patricia
Food + Drink
  • 1 Waitress On Rollerskates: SmileyGirl
  • 6 Wai[ters/resses]: Bb Clarinet, Crazy Cow, Puff Cat, Scotty_Doesnt_Know, Symphony + Uberzoldat


Entertainment
  • 2 Assistant Organists: Mwl1 + Organist_Katy
  • 1 Band Manager: Freakish-Delight
  • 3 Band Guitarists: Car Expert, Freakish-Delight + The Oboemeister
  • 1 Band Keyboardist: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Band Singer: Hellokitty
  • 1 Cabaret Singer: Jazzywench
  • 1 Café Mascot: Firebird
  • 1 Composer-In-Residence: Flautino
  • 1 Cupboard Monster: Bobifier
  • 1 Forum Duck Decoy: Oboebunny
  • 1 Jools Holland's Impersonator: Shelton
  • 1 Karoke Corner Manager: Frederic Chopin
  • 1 Krazy Klown; Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Melodica Back-up Pianist: Ashmoors
  • 1 Piano Tuner: Mwl1
  • 1 Pot Noodle Hornplayer: Jonscott14
  • 1 Resident Alto Choir Singer: Belle
  • 1 Resident Baroque Specialist: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Resident Flautist: PianoAndFlute
  • 1 Resident Oboist: Schwournes
  • 1 Resident Organist: MrBouffant
  • 1 Resident Pianist: Carol*Piano
  • 1 Resident Piano Tuner: Piano*Oboe*Milly
  • 2 Resident Recorder Maestros: IrisH - LoonY + Recorderzrule
  • 1 Resident Recorder Player: 2nd ben3
  • 1 Resident Viola Player: Choddy
  • 1 Resident Violinist: Mwl1
  • 2 Conductors: mrbouffant + violin-ann
  • 17 Musicians: AnotherPianist, Bb Clarinet, Cecilia, FluteAndBassoon, IrisH - LoonY, Keys, Melody_Maker, Nocturne_In_Silver, Neil.Clarinet, Oddball, PianoEmma, Rainbow, S8535049, Sarah-Flute, Saxophonist, Scotty_Doesnt_Know + YetAnotherPianist
  • 1 Head Of Entertainment: Noodle
  • 5 Entertainers: Archie [Janexxx's Dog], Janexxx, Keys, Oddball + Saxophonist


Customer & Hygiene
  • 1 Chauffeur: Boo Radley
  • 1 Door Opener: Rosie_Piano_Cello
  • 1 Gardener: Bobifier
  • 1 Grammar Checker: Hellokitty
  • 1 Handy Man: Mwl1
  • 1 HP Quoter: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Hydrogen Farmer: Superpyroman
  • 1 Librarian: Piano*Oboe*Milly
  • 1 Locksmith: BassMadMatt
  • 1 Mad Scientist: Flautino
  • 1 Mediator: JoD
  • 1 Official Guest: July
  • 1 Professional Student: Iridium77
  • 1 Resident Babysitter: Belle
  • 1 Resident IT Technician: Mwl1
  • 1 Resident Scouser: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Resident Unicyclist: Bobifier
  • 1 Valet Parking Guy: Car Expert
  • 1 Vicar: Noodelz
  • 1 Vicar Reserve: Car Expert
  • 1 Vice President
  • 1 Walking Dictionary: Car Expert
  • 1 Weather Girl: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Head Of Cleaning Staff: Andante_In_C
  • 5 Cleaners: cheeble, Choddy, Nannyjay, Simba [Scotty_Doesnt_Know's dog] + Weejen
  • 4 Bouncers: Chaos_91, MASSY, Musicbox + Noodelz
  • 4 Interpretors: Bb Clarinet, Hulk, July (for German-speaking countries) + Scotty_Doesnt_Know
  • 5 Professional/Fake Diners: MaggieMay, Nicki_Flute, Nocturne_In_Silver, Rainbow (Vegetarian) + Tinkleing_The_Ivories
  • 5 Security Guards: Hulk, Noodelz, Noodle, Saxophonist + Uberzoldat


Media & Self-Improvement
  • 1 Agony Aunt: JoD
  • 1 Banana Specialist: Bobifier
  • 1 Broadband Guy: Noodelz
  • 1 Chief Computer Tinkerer: Pinkoi
  • 1 Finance Manager: Saxmaniac
  • 1 Fortune Teller: CrazyDudette22
  • 1 Health & Safety Inspector Socialiser: Sax_Girl
  • 1 Lawyer: Trellis
  • 1 Military Advisor: Noodelz
  • 1 Restaurant Critic: Sbhoa
  • 1 Spokesman: Noodelz
  • 1 Theory Teacher: Nocturne_In_Silver
  • 1 Vet: SteveHopwood
  • 2 Dancing Instructors: Musicbox + Nocturne_In_Silver


Sport
  • 1 Resident Leicester City Supporter: Nicki_Flute
  • 1 Resident Plymouth Argyle Supporter: Boo Radley
  • 1 Resident Reading Supporter: Car Expert
  • 1 Resident Scarborough Supporter: Rainbow
  • 1 Resident Southport Supporter: Choddy
  • 1 Resident Westbury United Supporter: Oddball
  • 1 Resident West Ham United Supporter (Part-Time): Noodelz
  • 2 Resident Arsenal Supporters: Andante_In_C + Noodelz
  • 2 Resident Charlton Athletic Supporters: Barry-Clari + The Oboemeister
  • 2 Resident Liverpool Supporters: IrisH - LoonY + MrBouffant


Other
  • 2 Turtle-Doves: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak + Flautino
  • 1 Partri-idge In A Pear Tree: Katyjay
TOTAL EMPLOYEES = 99
TOTAL JOBS = 187


Salary
• 1st-10th day of employment, "Matriculated" - Salary: 5₪/hour
• 11th-30th day of empoyment, "Fresher" - Salary: 10₪/hour
• 31st-70th day of employment, "Executive Assistant" - Salary: 20₪/hour
• 71st-150th day of employment, "Field Sales Representative" - Salary: 40₪/hour
• 150th-310th day of employment, "Junior Executive" - Salary: 80₪/hour
• 311th-1230th day of employment, "Executive" - Salary: 160₪/hour
• 1231st-2470th day of employment, "Senior Manager" - Salary: 320₪/hour
• 2471st-4950th day of employment, "Vice President" - Salary: 640₪/hour
• 4952st-9910th day of employment, "President" - Salary: 1280₪/hour
• 9911th+ day of employment, "CEO's Apprentice" - Salary:2560₪/hour

Wages are paid directly to one's account in ₪. ABRSM (Sheqel Musicale) only.
• The current market exchange rate: 1₪. ABRSM=£0.004
• Not interchangeable with Israeli Sheqel.

Company policy
• £. GBP is preferable, but ₪. ABRSM is also accepted.
• Bonuses are given in the form of shares.
• Complaints may be sent to "TheABRSMPlatinumBlendCafé.complaints@abrsm.org". Your statutory rights shall be affected.
• Dividends are distributed equally among the current amount of shares.
• For every time that the %shares exceeds 100, 2000 more shares are floated.
• Purchases and services are not refundable.
• The current CEO automatically receives 90% of all SHARES, regardless of whether further shares are floated.
• Neither the CEO nor the "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" company is responsible for any physical, psychological or spiritual damage caused to any one person from usage of any "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" products or entry to the "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" headquarters itself or any other branch of global franchises.

Copyright
• "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©" is a registered trademark of "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• Copyright ©2006 "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©" properties are trademarks of "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• All rights reserved.


Car Expert
*
lucietake2
wow. could i please be a resident halifax town supporter...and if possible, also a hot chocolate frother smile.gif thankyou smile.gif xxx
Car Expert
Yep, sure! smile.gif

Car Expert
bobifier
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 1 2006, 04:56 PM) *

QUOTE(lucietake2 @ Aug 1 2006, 04:54 PM) *
hi car expert i just i realised i dont have a job in the cafe! could you give me one please? *gets down on knees and begs* thankyou smile.gif xxx
OK, here's the job list. You can choose an existing job or make one up. smile.gif
QUOTE(secondary subsitutional manager OR The Very Busy Man @ Jul 24 1684, 28:30 JM)
~ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©~
Have a rest in our bar



Employees Hired:


Management
  • 1 Manager: Wobby
  • 1 Substitutional Manager: Purple Dolphin
  • 1 Second Substiutional Manager: Car Expert
  • 1 Recruitment Officer: Car Expert
  • 2 Administrators: Bob [Car Expert's Penguin] + Lady Bobbington [Bob's wife]
Economy & Health
  • 1 Advertiser: Rainbow
  • 1 Advertiser Assistant: Choddy
  • 1 Chiropedist: Crazy Cow
  • 1 CPR/First Aid Specialist: Kayladavies
  • 1 Official Orthodontist: Talitha
  • 1 Plastic Surgeon: Teabag
  • 1 Reflexologist: Noodle
  • 1 Resident Doctor: Daisy
  • 1 Resident First Aider: SuzyMac
  • 1 Stripper: Musicbox
  • 1 Therapeutical Hugger: Crazy Cow
  • 2 Accountants: Boo Radley + Purple Dolphin
  • 2 Manicurists: Crazy Cow + MattD
  • 3 Hairdressers: Crazy Cow, Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak + Princesa Siempre Vendre
Food & Drink
Food
  • 1 Resident Bowl Of Green Jello: Willow129
  • 2 Delicatessen Servers: FluteAndBassoon and Violin-Ann
  • 1 Cheese Supervisor: Superpyroman
  • 1 Head Chef: Amber
  • 1 Apprentice Head Chef: Deborah
  • 11 Chefs: AlyssaBullockSingh, Belle, Car Expert, CrazyDudette22, Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak, Musicbaby, Princesa Siempre Vende, Purple Dolphin, S8535049, Trebor + Uberzoldat
Drink
  • 1 Bartender: Hulk
  • 1 Bartender Assistant: Purple Dolphin
  • 1 Coffee Bar Specialist: Violin-Ann
  • 1 Resident Sherry Expert: Cyrilla
  • 1 Wine Waiter: Patricia
Food + Drink
  • 1 Waitress On Rollerskates: SmileyGirl
  • 6 Wai[ters/resses]: Bb Clarinet, Crazy Cow, Puff Cat, Scotty_Doesnt_Know, Symphony + Uberzoldat
Entertainment
  • 2 Assistant Organists: Mwl1 + Organist_Katy
  • 1 Band Manager: Freakish-Delight
  • 3 Band Guitarists: Car Expert, Freakish-Delight + The Oboemeister
  • 1 Band Keyboardist: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Band Singer: Hellokitty
  • 1 Cabaret Singer: Jazzywench
  • 1 Café Mascot: Firebird
  • 1 Composer-In-Residence: Flautino
  • 1 Cupboard Monster: Bobifier
  • 1 Forum Duck Decoy: Oboebunny
  • 1 Jools Holland's Impersonator: Shelton
  • 1 Karoke Corner Manager: Frederic Chopin
  • 1 Krazy Klown; Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Melodica Back-up Pianist: Ashmoors
  • 1 Piano Tuner: Mwl1
  • 1 Pot Noodle Hornplayer: Jonscott14
  • 1 Resident Alto Choir Singer: Belle
  • 1 Resident Baroque Specialist: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Resident Flautist: PianoAndFlute
  • 1 Resident Oboist: Schwournes
  • 1 Resident Organist: MrBouffant
  • 1 Resident Pianist: Carol*Piano
  • 1 Resident Piano Tuner: Piano*Oboe*Milly
  • 2 Resident Recorder Maestros: IrisH - LoonY + Recorderzrule
  • 1 Resident Recorder Player: 2nd ben3
  • 1 Resident Viola Player: Choddy
  • 1 Resident Violinist: Mwl1
  • 2 Conductors: mrbouffant + violin-ann
  • 17 Musicians: AnotherPianist, Bb Clarinet, Cecilia, FluteAndBassoon, IrisH - LoonY, Keys, Melody_Maker, Nocturne_In_Silver, Neil.Clarinet, Oddball, PianoEmma, Rainbow, S8535049, Sarah-Flute, Saxophonist, Scotty_Doesnt_Know + YetAnotherPianist
  • 1 Head Of Entertainment: Noodle
  • 5 Entertainers: Archie [Janexxx's Dog], Janexxx, Keys, Oddball + Saxophonist
Customer & Hygiene
  • 1 Chauffeur: Boo Radley
  • 1 Door Opener: Rosie_Piano_Cello
  • 1 Gardener: Bobifier
  • 1 Grammar Checker: Hellokitty
  • 1 Handy Man: Mwl1
  • 1 HP Quoter: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Hydrogen Farmer: Superpyroman
  • 1 Librarian: Piano*Oboe*Milly
  • 1 Locksmith: BassMadMatt
  • 1 Mad Scientist: Flautino
  • 1 Mediator: JoD
  • 1 Official Guest: July
  • 1 Professional Student: Iridium77
  • 1 Resident Babysitter: Belle
  • 1 Resident IT Technician: Mwl1
  • 1 Resident Scouser: IrisH - LoonY
  • 1 Resident Unicyclist: Bobifier
  • 1 Valet Parking Guy: Car Expert
  • 1 Vicar: Noodelz
  • 1 Vicar Reserve: Car Expert
  • 1 Vice President
  • 1 Walking Dictionary: Car Expert
  • 1 Weather Girl: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak
  • 1 Head Of Cleaning Staff: Andante_In_C
  • 5 Cleaners: cheeble, Choddy, Nannyjay, Simba [Scotty_Doesnt_Know's dog] + Weejen
  • 4 Bouncers: Chaos_91, MASSY, Musicbox + Noodelz
  • 4 Interpretors: Bb Clarinet, Hulk, July (for German-speaking countries) + Scotty_Doesnt_Know
  • 5 Professional/Fake Diners: MaggieMay, Nicki_Flute, Nocturne_In_Silver, Rainbow (Vegetarian) + Tinkleing_The_Ivories
  • 5 Security Guards: Hulk, Noodelz, Noodle, Saxophonist + Uberzoldat
Media & Self-Improvement
  • 1 Agony Aunt: JoD
  • 1 Banana Specialist: Bobifier
  • 1 Broadband Guy: Noodelz
  • 1 Chief Computer Tinkerer: Pinkoi
  • 1 Finance Manager: Saxmaniac
  • 1 Fortune Teller: CrazyDudette22
  • 1 Health & Safety Inspector Socialiser: Sax_Girl
  • 1 Lawyer: Trellis
  • 1 Military Advisor: Noodelz
  • 1 Restaurant Critic: Sbhoa
  • 1 Spokesman: Noodelz
  • 1 Theory Teacher: Nocturne_In_Silver
  • 1 Vet: SteveHopwood
  • 2 Dancing Instructors: Musicbox + Nocturne_In_Silver
Sport
  • 1 Resident Leicester City Supporter: Nicki_Flute
  • 1 Resident Plymouth Argyle Supporter: Boo Radley
  • 1 Resident Reading Supporter: Car Expert
  • 1 Resident Scarborough Supporter: Rainbow
  • 1 Resident Southport Supporter: Choddy
  • 1 Resident Westbury United Supporter: Oddball
  • 1 Resident West Ham United Supporter (Part-Time): Noodelz
  • 2 Resident Arsenal Supporters: Andante_In_C + Noodelz
  • 2 Resident Charlton Athletic Supporters: Barry-Clari + The Oboemeister
  • 2 Resident Liverpool Supporters: IrisH - LoonY + MrBouffant
Other
  • 2 Turtle-Doves: Crazy_Purple_Piano_Freak + Flautino
  • 1 Partri-idge In A Pear Tree: Katyjay
TOTAL EMPLOYEES = 99
TOTAL JOBS = 187


Salary
• 1st-10th day of employment, "Matriculated" - Salary: 5₪/hour
• 11th-30th day of empoyment, "Fresher" - Salary: 10₪/hour
• 31st-70th day of employment, "Executive Assistant" - Salary: 20₪/hour
• 71st-150th day of employment, "Field Sales Representative" - Salary: 40₪/hour
• 150th-310th day of employment, "Junior Executive" - Salary: 80₪/hour
• 311th-1230th day of employment, "Executive" - Salary: 160₪/hour
• 1231st-2470th day of employment, "Senior Manager" - Salary: 320₪/hour
• 2471st-4950th day of employment, "Vice President" - Salary: 640₪/hour
• 4952st-9910th day of employment, "President" - Salary: 1280₪/hour
• 9911th+ day of employment, "CEO's Apprentice" - Salary:2560₪/hour

Wages are paid directly to one's account in ₪. ABRSM (Sheqel Musicale) only.
• The current market exchange rate: 1₪. ABRSM=£0.004
• Not interchangeable with Israeli Sheqel.

Company policy
• £. GBP is preferable, but ₪. ABRSM is also accepted.
• Bonuses are given in the form of shares.
• Complaints may be sent to "TheABRSMPlatinumBlendCafé.complaints@abrsm.org". Your statutory rights shall be affected.
• Dividends are distributed equally among the current amount of shares.
• For every time that the %shares exceeds 100, 2000 more shares are floated.
• Purchases and services are not refundable.
• The current CEO automatically receives 90% of all SHARES, regardless of whether further shares are floated.
• Neither the CEO nor the "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" company is responsible for any physical, psychological or spiritual damage caused to any one person from usage of any "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" products or entry to the "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café" headquarters itself or any other branch of global franchises.

Copyright
• "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©" is a registered trademark of "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• Copyright ©2006 "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• "ABRSM Platinum Blend Café©" properties are trademarks of "Wobby" and "Associated Boards of the Royal Schools of Music".
• All rights reserved.


Car Expert
*



Only 17 musicians...
lucietake2
well to be a musician would be quite boring becuase it would be what we actually are... for instance...do you think musicbox is ACTUALLY a stripper??? xxx
bobifier
QUOTE(lucietake2 @ Aug 1 2006, 09:50 PM) *

well to be a musician would be quite boring becuase it would be what we actually are... for instance...do you think musicbox is ACTUALLY a stripper??? xxx

I don't dare to assume...
charlies aunt
QUOTE(lucietake2 @ Aug 1 2006, 03:54 PM) *

hi car expert i just i realised i dont have a job in the cafe! could you give me one please? *gets down on knees and begs* thankyou smile.gif xxx


Hello Car Expert
I'm still in unregistered land, but Christine is looking in to it for me. Thanks. Please could I beg for a job in the cafe? I'd be very good at making sure you're cucumbers are straight!! Yours Hopefully, Charlies Aunt x
Car Expert
Hi Charlies Aunt, have a look at the job list I posted earlier, and see what takes your fancy. Alternatively, you can make your own job up. smile.gif

Car Expert
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(Car Expert @ Aug 2 2006, 09:17 AM) *

Hi Charlies Aunt, have a look at the job list I posted earlier, and see what takes your fancy. Alternatively, you can make your own job up. smile.gif

Car Expert


OK. I would like to be the Official Cucumber Checker laugh.gif Do I add myself to the list or is that the responsibility of somebody in senior personnel? biggrin.gif Thank you biggrin.gif Charlies Aunt
Car Expert
OK, you've got the job! I'll edit the list (which is on my personal notepad). smile.gif

Car Expert
Boo Radley
QUOTE(Deborah @ Jul 31 2006, 02:29 PM) *

You don't have to be mad to post here, but it helps!

Welcome aboard, and here's to many hours spent in one of the greatest wastes of time yet invented!

ohmy.gif Sacrilege! Off with her head at once!

What a funny five minutes the AB forum seems to have had with all these deregisterings and reregisterings. huh.gif
petrat
smile.gif I want a job too please. Can I be the keeper of the Welsh dragon that lives in the corner of the cafe and official lemon mousse taster? By the way Hello, good evening and welcome Charlies Aunt
Car Expert
QUOTE(petrat @ Aug 4 2006, 09:26 PM) *
smile.gif I want a job too please. Can I be the keeper of the Welsh dragon that lives in the corner of the cafe and official lemon mousse taster?
Yep, sure. smile.gif

Car Expert
Rosemary7391
Could I please have a job too? Like resident tennis mad girl?
Car Expert
Yep, OK. smile.gif

Car Expert
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(petrat @ Aug 4 2006, 09:26 PM) *

smile.gif I want a job too please. Can I be the keeper of the Welsh dragon that lives in the corner of the cafe and official lemon mousse taster? By the way Hello, good evening and welcome Charlies Aunt

AAH Thank you Petrat! What a lovely friendly bunch you are! biggrin.gif Not that I would expect any different of course! tongue.gif
Mushroom
A little hint, Charlie's ASunt, if you're not comnpletely mad, then stay away from the Cafe, and especially CISD. laugh.gif
bobifier
And beware the cupboard monster...
Charlies Aunt
Hello Mushroom and Bobifier!!

I may be mad, but I'm in two minds about it! blink.gif sad.gif

Errr- what/who is the cupboard monster?? Should I be afraid- very afraid? ph34r.gif ohmy.gif sad.gif
Mushroom
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 11 2006, 02:51 PM) *

Hello Mushroom and Bobifier!!

I may be mad, but I'm in two minds about it! blink.gif sad.gif

Errr- what/who is the cupboard monster?? Should I be afraid- very afraid? ph34r.gif ohmy.gif sad.gif

Bobifier is the cupboardf monster, so no, you don't realy need to be afraid. smile.gif
sarah-flute
You do need to be afraid.

FEAR THE GHOST!
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 11 2006, 10:29 PM) *

You do need to be afraid.

FEAR THE GHOST!

What ghost would that be then?? blink.gif ohmy.gif
bobifier
QUOTE(Charlies Aunt @ Aug 14 2006, 04:32 PM) *

QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 11 2006, 10:29 PM) *

You do need to be afraid.

FEAR THE GHOST!

What ghost would that be then?? blink.gif ohmy.gif

That'd be Sarah_Flute...

Maybe you're better off ignoring us...
sarah-flute
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fear the ghost!


Ahem.
katyjay
QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:36 PM) *

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fear the ghost!


Ahem.


Oh dear, have we run out of dried frog pills again? Just as well I got some more.

Take one of these and you'll be fine....... ph34r.gif
sarah-flute
Thank you katyjay, I'm glad you know about dried frog pills: terrible job getting them out in the wilds of Gloucestershire!

*swallows pills*

Feel better now, thanks wacko.gif
Charlies Aunt
QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:36 PM) *

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fear the ghost!


Ahem.

biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif Sounds painful being a ghost! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif
Frederic Chopin
QUOTE(katyjay @ Aug 14 2006, 05:43 PM) *
QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:36 PM) *
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fear the ghost!

Ahem.
Oh dear, have we run out of dried frog pills again? Just as well I got some more.
Take one of these and you'll be fine....... ph34r.gif

QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:46 PM) *
Thank you katyjay, I'm glad you know about dried frog pills: terrible job getting them out in the wilds of Gloucestershire!
*swallows pills*
Feel better now, thanks wacko.gif

Dried Frog Pills?!? blink.gif
katyjay
QUOTE(Frederic Chopin @ Aug 15 2006, 09:31 AM) *

QUOTE(katyjay @ Aug 14 2006, 05:43 PM) *
QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:36 PM) *
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fear the ghost!

Ahem.
Oh dear, have we run out of dried frog pills again? Just as well I got some more.
Take one of these and you'll be fine....... ph34r.gif


QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Aug 14 2006, 05:46 PM) *
Thank you katyjay, I'm glad you know about dried frog pills: terrible job getting them out in the wilds of Gloucestershire!
*swallows pills*
Feel better now, thanks wacko.gif



Dried Frog Pills?!? blink.gif



A Terry Pratchett in-joke.
Frederic Chopin
QUOTE(katyjay @ Aug 15 2006, 09:32 AM) *
QUOTE(Frederic Chopin @ Aug 15 2006, 09:31 AM) *
Dried Frog Pills?!? blink.gif
A Terry Pratchett in-joke.

Oh, I see... thought it would be similar to one of those real traditional chinese remedies involving dried cockroaches etc... ph34r.gif
sarah-flute
The Pratchett version thereof wink.gif
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.