My daughter took Grade 4 Flute 20th June. The exam was a Trinity Jiont Assessment, she scored 77 a Merit.

The circumstances surrounding the exam were chaotic. My girl cried on the way in and on the way out and the whole experience was very negative.

On the 18th July at very short notice she got the chance to re-sit the exam ABRSM. To be honest we expected a Merit (as her pieces got good marks in the other exam). for the Trinity she did not need scales, whilst she knew half of them she had to learn the others in a weekend. We really did the exam again to negate the negative experience as originally everything that could have gone wrong on the examination day did.

It was such short notice that as far as we are aware her teacher does not know she has re-sat. Anyway we got the ABRSM result this morning and she scored 131. Needless to say we are delighted! but what do we do now? Should I ring/text the teacher (we don't usually have contact over the holidays). Let her find out via the Music Service or take another course of action?

We did not blame anyone in-particular, it was circumstances that made the exam negative.

Parents sometimes we don't think when we enter into these things!

The one thing to do now is to congratulate your daughter on her wonderful result.

I think it would be courteous to inform her teacher as soon as possible, stressing the unusual circumstances that led to the unscheduled exam.

Cheers

Katyjay

I've already done that!

Thanks for the advice. I'm more nervous about phoning her during the holiday!

Yes it is a very very good result! I don't see why you shouldn't contact the teacher just to let her know, I'm sure she'd be very pleased to hear.

Well I've done the deed! She was fine about me ringing her over the holiday. I've put her out by making the decision to re-enter without consulting her. She's happy with the result though.

I want to have the same partnership that I have with their other teachers but it's just not there. Now she feels I've entered my daughter off my own back(not strictly the case but too complex to go into). I would have consulted her if there had been time, I didn't even get time to think about it myself. The slot was a cancellation and I took the call as I was about to do the school run.

If I had a choice I would not pick a career in music for my daughter, but that's what she wants and if her family don't support her who will?

I see postings on here all the time from teachers who want their pupils to practise, my girl works hard we support her buying Music and CD's or whatever is needed and still it's not right for this teacher.

I could scream!

Did you explain about the cancellation?

Maybe once she's got used to the idea and has realised that even though she didn't enter your daughter for the exam she's still her teacher and the result reflects well on her, she will feel better about it.

I can understand her feeling a little miffed, from her point of view it must seem a bit like you going behind her back (not intended that way I know, but could easily come across like that), but hopefully she will understand your reasons and be happy about such a good result.

I explained about the cancellation. She must be equally aware that things were wrong in the Trinity Exam. I could have so easily taken the attitude that we read about in another thread and blamed the teacher. This is not something I've done.

Now she thinks I'm trying to push her out of musical decisions about my daughter. She wants a decision to be made about whether Flute or Oboe are her first instrument. I'd go for Oboe if it were my choice her teacher is much more understanding. He appreciates the practise my daughter does. At this moment in time my girl does not know which she wants to persue as a first instrument and I'm not going to push her into a wrong choice just now.

Can anyone explain why a pupil doing practise is a bad thing?

Most of her teacher's Clarinet students have taken the same exam. It has crossed my mind before that she's looking to do the same with her flutes. I'm not about to stop my daughter working and progressing for this reason.

First of all well done to your daughter! What age is she ? I have a fifteen year old daughter who plays violin and piano , and still is not sure which is her first instrument. I would have thought at your daughters stage , it is a bit early to be making such a decision. I can understand the teacher being a bit miffed , however us parents sometimes have to take the initiative. My daughter has had the same teachers since she started playing ( 7 years) , they are both wonderful, and she has a great relationship with them which is really important. However there can be conflict with the parent/teacher boundaries - my experience is that where pupils are dedicated and show potential - they can be a bit selfish , wanting to control music decisions. To be honest - largely they do tend to be right, as they are the professionals with years of experience ,I'm just a parent with gut reactions ! What I can say as a parent you are more likely to be the fall guy when things don't go quite as planned as far as your child is concerned , and you will most certainly will have to pick up the pieces. The important thing for you is that both you and your daughter are happy with your decisions- if things are not working out with the teacher - then you can always explore alternative teachers. I should add I am not at all musical , and I find these forumns very useful.

I don't see why there needs to be a decision about one instrument taking priority.
If your daughter enjoys both equally and is progressing then I can't imagine what the problem is.

Some teachers do get a bit funny about things like that: my ex piano teacher thought I had potential on the piano, but instead of telling me that she constantly told me that playing flute/violin/etc was ruining my piano playing.

I gave up

I can understand the teacher being miffed as I said before - it may or may not be a reasonable reaction from your point of view, and I do understand that you had one chance to say "Yes, OK!", but still it was treading on her turf. Maybe having taken the opportunity, you should have told the teacher as soon as possible, maybe coming to her with a result is what has got up her nose. I hope I'm pretty reasonable as a teacher, but I would be a little nonplussed if a student's mum range up with a result from an exam that not only did I not enter her for but didn't even know about.

All teacher-student relationships take compromise. She needs to learn she can't overrule about your daughter playing other instruments, but similarly I think you need to bear in mind that entering your daughter for exams, even in a "last chance" scenario, is treading on the teacher's turf a little, and that ringing her and telling her before the exam or at least soon after would be diplomatic.

I don't know how old your daughter is, but please do not let anyone push her into choosing a "first" study too young/early.

If my daughter (now 16) had chosen her first study at grade 4 standard (she would have been 9, I think), she would have chosen the piano (she was the same standard on both her instruments at that time). Since then her priorities have changed and cello is her first study partly because she loves it so, but also because she made much more progress on the cello although until recently she put in the same amount of time and effort into both instruments.

This has not stopped her progressing on both instruments (she has an ATCL diploma on the cello and grade 8 on the piano). She also hopes for a performing career in music, but says that she knows that she would never have reached the standard required as a pianist however much she worked - the cello comes more easily, but she was not aware of that until approx 18mths to a year ago.

Good Luck with it all!

My daughter is 11 and working towards grade 4 Oboe (possibly Christmas).

Yes her teacher on the one hand has a right to be miffed. However I think that my daughter re-entering the exam is only part of the story. The music service acknowledges there are "issues" with the Trinity exam from their point of view. If this hadn't been the case she would never have got the chance to do the ABRSM. I didn't choose the Trinity nor the timing of the exam.

It's not as if the re-sit reflects badly on her teacher. One look at the Trinity report sheet would have shown that her pieces were of a good standard. Her weaknesses the Trinity Aural a piece she did not need for the ABRSM and Sight Reading (not normally an issue).

If it had been any of our other teachers I know I could have discussed the situation with them and come to a balanced conclusion. I want some honesty about where my girls at with Flute, proper guidance on what she should be working on and some sort of plan so higher level Flute and Oboe exams don't clash.

If she can advise us on opportunities outside of the Music Service to expand my daughters experience then great.

Hey, with regards to the flute/oboe issue, with the two embrechures (sorry I don't know how to spell this!) being completely different, this could be the problem the teacher has and their reason for wanting your daughter to persue both instruments. My principal instrument is Flute and I started playing clarinet a couple of years later, and progressed really quickly, which gave me doubts about weather I should persue Clarinet or Flute. My flute teacher was ver unhappy about me playing Clarinet and sax too as it afects my embrechure too much.

I am rambling am aware and I do apologise! Basically what I think I want to say is that if your daughter wants to be a GREAT and I mean like top-class flautist, the playing oboe will prohibit her from excelling (in terms of quality of tone that is) wheras if she wants to be an oboist, then I shouldn't imagine playing flute would have too much of an effect on this.

Sorry for rambling

Anyways, I think it's pretty great that your daughter got a distinction under the circumstances, and to only be 11!!!

Oh and I have only ever had one flute teacher that I have had a good relationship with and that my parents liked too.

Congrats to your daughter then

Alex xx

I have heard that oboe/bassoon embouchures are "kinder" to the flute embouchure than those for sax and clarinet, though I don't know.

This person herself teaches Flute, Clarinet, Saxophone and Piano at the moment.

She also claims Oboe up to Grade 2, I've seen her taking the Centre String group on an odd occasion and she used to take Recorder Group.

Thats why telling me that my daughter needs to choose a first instrument at this stage is incomprehensible. Out of all our teachers she is the least understanding of a multi-instrumentalist pupil.

My daughters Oboe teacher has no problems with her playing flute. At some point she will have to think about a first instrument.

Soon we are going to have to agree a way forward. I'd change teachers but she's also taking my older daughter for Sax and Clarinet. Whilst there is a better oprion for Flute I don't know of any alternatives for the other instruments privately or through the music service.

When I was 12, my oboe teacher wrote on my school report that I would become 'jack of all trades, master of none', because I was learning several instruments. My mother was quite rightly furious and withdrew me from lessons, as oboe certainly wasn't ever going to be my first instrument.

I would stand by your instincts, and if you're not convinced about the teacher, look elsewhere. Your daughter seems very talented, and you don't want teacher tensions to spoil anything.

I'm sure that there are teacher perusing these boards, who can give you information about finding another teacher?

Your daughter seems awfully young to have to decide which her first instrument is. I applied to University with my Oboe as first study. The only reason Huddersfield were prepared to accept me as a singer was that I took some vocal music along with me to the interview and bingo, they initially wanted me to take them as joint first study.

I was 19 when then final decision over which instrument should be my first study was made. I wouldn't worry about embouchures at this stage. All it will mean is that your daughter has very well controlled muscles around the mouth. The breathing techniques are subtly different, but again the two are complimentary.

You really need to have a frank discussion with your daughter's flute teacher. Sure I'd initially be a bit miffed if I found a pupil's parent had done what you had, but only for five minutes. Her result in any case reflects both your daughter's ability and the quality of teaching she has received. As a teacher after the initial sour grapes, I'd be delighted with the distinction and be itching to get my hands on the marksheet to use it as a way to go forward.

However if you decide to do this in future, it would be courteous to let your daughter's teacher know at the time. It would have softened any potential upset, and allowed the flute teacher to revel in your daughter's achievement rather than feel disgruntled that she was not involved in the decision.

I would never enter my daughter for an exam without the teachers approval under normal circumstances.

Everyone's replies have been really helpful, I think I steered away from telling her before the result as I suspected a negative reaction.

Maybe the problem is that My daughter had no lessons for 4 weeks between the two exams and had a lot of work to do to learn about half the scales over a weekend.

The really frustrating thing is I want her to make decisions on practise, exams etc based on what my daughter can do at a given point in time and not to feel that there's another agenda I can only guess at.

My daughter's driving me mad at the moment wanting to play the Flute only a week after having her tonsils out. Would anyone else think this sounds like a child being pushed to practise?

I have septic tonsilitis at them moment, though not having them out, and I don't have a teacher, but going mad not being able to play!!! I allow myself 15 mins a day before my throat begins to hurt really bad, but is soooo hard to not play longer!!! And I don't even have a teacher

Maybe your daughter just loves playing as much as me

Alex xx

I think your daughter is too young to make a decision about which should be her first instrument and she should be congratulated on an excellent result having had to work up the pieces again after the first exam and crack on with the scales.

I wonder whether there is something else here though? Why did she have such a bad time with the Trinity exam? Why does her teacher not appreciate her practising? It sounds to me as though the exam situation is simply the end of the tale, - ie. there are some more underlying problems with the teacher. Maybe it's time to consider another teacher, or if that's not feasible - could you take the bull by the horns and approach the teacher and have a discussion on a general basis about your daughter's playing and work in general?

Susie you're quite right it is the end of the tale. Changing teacher was my instant reaction after the chaos of the Trinity exam. I know there are people who work hard to get a pass, we've heard about them on the forum. In honesty I didn't so much blame the teacher for the Merit which was a low mark for my daughter, but several things have caused me to doubt her some of them were happening before (at that point I assumed she knew best) and discussions since.

In no particular order She suffered with tonsilitis quite alot last year which made her tetchy. She had enlarged Tonsils on the day of the exam. In the teacher assessment she was asked to practice one piece with the Metronome and was not told the speed (she could have asked one of her other teachers). The duet she expected to play with the teacher was changed at the time of the recording (luckily she had practised them both). At the practise with the pianist child did not know which piece she was to play for the examiner. Initially I thought it was my daughter's fault, but my eldest had demanded the knowledge. The teacher did not cover or did not make it clear to her she would be asked Viva Voce in the exam. On the morning eldest asked her sister about a technical term, at that point she got very upset. She asked the pianist the information requirted for Viva Voce. The pianist played the piece for the examiner too slow, which had all sorts of implications on breath control.

The Head of the Music Service and admin staff will admit there are "issues" with the Joint Assessment exam style. I don't know what these are. In view of this I'm surprised her teacher entered either of my girls for this exam. Firstly as they are more familiar with ABRSM format, both are good at scales and the youngest has slight problems with the Pitch Tests for Aural. Now I know nothing about music, the only knowledge I have is from previous exams. This is my interpretation of the examiners comments over several exams.

I want to change teacher I'm not about to deny that but she also teaches my older daughter Clarinet and Sax. Some of the issues I have are concerning these too. I've got my fingers crossed that she doesn't appear as my eldest's Piano Teacher, as this is something I won't accept. I don't want to cause discomfort for my older daughter especially as the teacher is a Peri and works in her school.

I'm really not sure what the start of this is or what's behind her thinking. If I'd screamed and shouted then I could have understood but I didn't even complain, let alone blame. I think I've said before all her current Clarinets took the same exam at the same time, well all the ones in my daughters school and a couple of her friends, despite the fact some have been playing longer than others. There was no variation of the pieces, they all played the same ones. They are not all taught in a group, my daughter has individual lessons, and they are not all in the same school.

My youngest has got through the grades quickly, she works hard at her music in general and has used techniques for breathing taught her by her Oboe teacher. I think this is about keeping my daughter at Grade 4 for longer so she can take Grade 5 at the same time as two other girls who are at the same school. The teacher has never expressed any concerns about my daughters playing or guided her strongly towards scales, tone or suggested these might be a problem. Nor is my daughter an exam pieces only type person, she is in Flute group and explores lots of material by herself.

So basically I don't know what the problem is. I have tried talking to her, my youngest wants to do more music possibly RNCM. Her Oboe teacher thinks this is fine, no problem with support form him. the flute teacher I get the impression she's against it and it was only mentioned casually. The Head of the Music service is also supportive of the idea, I asked him if he knew anything about it. Personally I think my daughter is stronger at Flute than Oboe, finds it more natural, but she certainly gets better exam marks for Oboe.

If anyone has any ideas how I can handle this I would be very grateful, I really need to resolve this in a way that won't hurt my eldest and is reasonable.

Don't really understand the examination procedure outlined above, but it sounds as though there was not enough communication from teacher whose responsibility it is to make sure everything runs smoothly for exams especially.

Also from second para. (sorry not very good at IT) it seems funny that all pupils played same pieces. I certainly vary my piano pupils' pieces according to their abilities and own preferences, and I have a clarinet teacher friend who does the same.

Seems odd also, that oboe teacher and head of music service are supportive of your daughter doing more music while flute teacher is not interested (too much work perhaps? - that's what comes through here).

The exam is really a bit odd the candidate plays 2 pieces for the teacher which she marks, a duet with the teacher that is recorded, another piece which is also recorded both of the later are also marked by the teacher. At the exam session they play one piece for the examiner he also does Aural and Viva Voce. The teacher has to hear the pieces in an 8 week period, during the time in which assessment should have been carried out my daughter had no more than 3 lessons one due to Easter, Bank Holiday, Whit and concerts. My daughter also maintains that the two pieces that weren't recorded were not heard at all during the assessment period. This didn't really effect the result on this occassion but it could have done. We only found out how the exam worked by taking it. Daughter scored 42 out of 50 for teacher assessment, so I'm not implying she was marked down but if the communication had been stronger she could have done better.

I think my problem with the teacher is that I don't understand what she is gaining by operating in the way she is. One of the other Peri's told me it is common practice in the Music Service to have several pupils take the exam at the same time even though they are not sharing lessons. She doesn't do it herself and does not know why people do it either.

The girls share the same piano and recorder teacher. The eldest has been playing piano longer so she is a bit infront but they both choose their own pieces. They are on the same grade for Recorder and choose their own pieces, they have not played exactly the same ones. The Flute/Clarinet Teacher is not young or new to teaching, of their teachers she is the most experienced.

My elder daughter who took Grade 4 Clarinet at the same time recorded one of her pieces about 4 times, teacher claimed she had deleted the recording. The eldest also scraped a merit. What's even odder the teacher originally gave her the option to take her Grade 4 in March (she opted to do Sax). This was considered to be a good idea as it would give her more time and lead to a better mark. It led to the lowest mark she's had too!

I am dreading Monday when youngest returns to lessons but I've decided to have it out with her calmly if their is any negativity or she is odd about the practice my daughter has done. I think this is because my daughter does more than she askes for and she does not feel in control. We gave her the oppportunity to direct work undertaken over the Summer and she choose not to.

How did the lesson go on Monday?

Hope the lesson went well.

I think it's great when more is done than was asked for.
As long as the set tasks are completed well I have no problem with that as it shows interest and initiative.
It also demonstrates the ability to work things out alone which is what we are aimig for.....isn't it?

Thanks Susie and Sbhoa

Teacher was a bit picky, daughter didn't take the books she asked her to bring in at the end of last term. I was at the last lesson and know she did not request any particular books. Also a bit off about my daughters flute, the A doesn't sound quite right. we are looking at a new one but as teacher recommended open hole which my girl can't seal waited until we could discuss it. I just hope things improve or I will insist on changing.

She's off with my younger daughter but ok with the older one, just don't know why! She never mentioned the Grade 4 re-take at all!

Interestingly she asked my daughter which band she was going to play in? The most advanced Concert band with Flute or Training Band with Oboe. When my daughter said Concert Band she told her to ask the Head of the Music Service (fair enough I suppose just a bit odd after giving her a choice). When daughter appeared at Band he said, "what are you going to play" (meaning which Instrument). So no need to ask him at all! Similarly she had been moved to the more advanced Flute group usually people have to wait a term after passing Grade 4 and the move was not sought.

I think it's confusing to be made to feel average by your teacher and then to be promoted (perhaps not the right word) by her boss. Maybe this is the problem working with a child known to colleagues and regarded as talanted. Perhaps overated?

Anyway she's now in Concert Band playing Piccolo and working towards Grade 4 Oboe which she will then play in Orchestra so I suppose everything's going well on another front.

Well nothings perfect so for now will just wait and see how it goes and prime daughter to stand up for herself more. I've come to the conclusion that with people you just never know!

Can you pull your daughter out of school flute lessons and go private? She will still be learning other instruments with music service teachers she gets on well with, and the flute teacher will still have your older daughter. If this was my child, I would pull her out. Do you really see this woman teaching your daughter in 5 years time? I do understand though that this course of action might lead to a slightly uncomfortable atmosphere at band practise/ older child's lessons.

Well it's Tuesday morning after another difficult Flute lesson. according to the Teacher my daughter is just not practising the right things. I'm totally at a loss! I don't doubt that my daughter maybe becoming unco-operative, but the teacher also is inclined to tell her off for not practising or not bringing a book that she has never even asked for.

Last night the Teacher went into Band and made my girl stop playing Piccolo and switch to Flute. Surely by now she must have got over the Grade 4 re-sit. The reason given was to improve her sight reading, but as my daughter says playing Piccolo would do that or Oboe.

The past two weeks the Deputy of the Music Service has taken my daughter for Oboe as her Teacher is on tour with his Orchestra. Last night I went to collect my child to see her sitting on the front row of the Youth Orchestra playing Oboe. She had been asked to join in for the last half hour by the deputy (she does percussion in the first part) and it had all been organised. Actually she is still only Grade 2 but hoping to take Grade 4 at Christmas so not advanced enough to be in Orchestra.

My daughter is feeling very confused!

This is really not sounding good at all now - something needs to be done before your daughter starts to associate music with awkwardness and difficulties rather than fun! I'm afraid I don't have any magic answers, just be aware that people have been seriously put off music by situations like this with so many mixed messages coming through.

Notmusicmum, it sounds as if your daughter is being used as a pawn in a game of politics between the flute teacher and the Deputy. And that's not fair on her.

I think you have to make it very clear to the flute teacher that this behaviour is not on. And I think that is a conversation you should have without your daughter being present.

Do you feel that it's at the point that the relationship with this teacher is going to mend over time, or is it time to move on to a new teacher?

With regard to the practice and books issue, does the teacher use a notebook/practice diary for your daughter? In that case, make it clear at your discussion that the required practice and any books needed should be spelled out in detail in this notebook, and that if it's not written there then your daughter should not be berated for failing to follow non-existent instructions.

If the teacher doesn't use a notebook, I suggest you get your daughter to take one with her to write down what the teacher says. That way there can be no uncertainties.

Afterthought: I think you have to have a word with the Music Service Deputy as well, as the treatment of your daughter in band should be under the control of the person conducting, and not subject to interference by anyone else.

thanks Katy Jay all your points about the practice notebook are very sensible and I've tried. My daughter logs her practice and takes the notebook to lessons but I don't think the teacher uses it. I will check.

The Deputy has organised for my daughter to play in Orchestra, there is no problem with this. She won't know what's going on with her Flute Teacher. I don't think there's any intention on her part at all, infact I am sure ther isn't, she simply sees a child who is a talanted player (given the lenght of time she has been playing) who is keen and will participate in Concerts (I'm being objective not bragging).

Band and Orchestra are seperate, they have differant conductors and don't tend to be all the same people playing wind. Some who are in Band find Orchestra too difficult, others are at College or Uni so only attend Orchestra. I think it's more about recognition, the Deputy also takes the advanced Flute Group which my girl was moved into at the start of term.

The conductor of the Band is the Head of the Music Service and he gave my daughter the choice in the first place, think he meant between Flute and Oboe, she asked if it was ok to play Piccolo and he agreed. Last week the Flute Teacher told her someone else has been waiting to play Picc. There does not seem to be another Piccolo in Band (there is in Orchestra). No one played Picc last night.

Everytime I speak with the Teacher it makes matters worse and I have my other daughter to consider. I had hoped it would blow over but it does not look like it will. It's really difficult the only other Flute Teacher I know is also a Peri for the same Music Service.

I think there are deep issues not really sure what these are but beginning to wonder if it's about power. The Flute Teacher would normally instigate the move to the next Flute Group or to Orchestra it has probabaly always been at her suggestion. Maybe she feels userped or thinks I've pushed or something, I know she thinks I'm a pushy parent.

I've tried talking to her and no doubt I'll try again just wanted to give it some time to work itself out. Don't really want to go moaning to her bosses about the situation. I'll just wait for the opportunity to raise the Picc/flute situation with the Head in conversation (don't know when).

Oh dear, it does sound like your daughter is ending up rather a scapegoat for things that have nothng to do with her. I think katyjay's advice is very wise... I hope you get things sorted out, the last thing you want is for this to interfere with your daughter's pleasure in music.

This is sounding very odd now. Do you know any of the teacher's other pupils, or parents of pupils whom you could have a chat too - obviously a very general one initially - just testing the water, as it were. Perhaps see whether you could find out what politics are going on at the music centre.

Also, could you try to find a new flute teacher through a local music shop - obviously this is might be a last resort because of connections with the music service and it would seem that she is being treated well in the orchestra/band.

I don't know the Parents of any of the other Pupils she teaches. She has made some odd choices with regard to my older Daughter but I never thought any more of it than that. She is fine personally with my older daughter, but then again the girls are very differant people. My youngest is much quieter, the eldest is not cheeky, but being a teenager is more likely to stand up for herselfand ask questions.

The youngest is getting to a position where she now wants to change and to be honest the more I hear the less comfortable I've become. I've thought about giving notice and saying she will carry on with ensembles but not lessons.

Last week the teacher did write in the practise notebook, no mention of playing to the Metronome which was one of her gripes this week. She didn't bother writing in it this week at all. One of the teacher's other moans is that my girl can't play a scale 2 octaves up and down in one breath. Now this maybe justified criticism but my daughter scored 19/21 for scales in the Grade 4, half of them which she learnt herself and the other half had not been heard by the teacher for quite a while.

I accept there are likely to be politics in the Service as in any such workplace but I would be shocked if that was the case. I really really don't think the teachers behaviour is in any way connected to how other members of staff treat my daughter. Although I fully understand why people might think that. The Deputy is not the sort of person to play games with children in that way, she loves Music supports all the groups and is a really nice person.

I was beginning to think that perhaps I am biased and really my daughter's not that good. However she tells me, the girls playing harder parts than her (who are also grade 4) have been told that if she "overtakes" them then she will get to play harder pieces. She's also going to be given the chance to try Bass flute soon with a view to playing it in the group. So her Flute playing can't be that bad.

The most disturbing thing is that I don't know what this is all about. I'm certain that it's not politics I bet that each are totally unaware of the actions of the other. I asked my daughter if her teacher has asked which Flute group she was in and she hasn't. I suspect the teacher thinks she is still in First Flutes. Incidentally the conductor of Orchestra is someone totally differant altogether, he was happy about my daughter joining with Oboe and he's not the type to go with the flow.

Some of the reason that my youngest gets opportunities is due to the fact that her older sister has been doing Percussion in Orchestra since January and she always turns out for concerts and is there every week at practice. Plus the youngest has herself played in concerts in various groups over the last year, infact she would not move any of her groups until September as she was committed to concerts at the end of term. Most people get to the grade required for the next group wait for a term and move on regardless.

I'm scared talking to the teacher will make things worse or that I won't say what's needed. I don't really know what to say. Has anyone experienced this before as a parent or been it a position as a teacher where they have found themselves out of step (I know it won't be for the same reason). I strongly suspect it's more to do with keeping her on the same level as some of the other pupils, which I can't see the benefit of. I wonder if some of the things she thinks she's asking my daughter to do is because of this. That she has asked it of someone else intended to ask my girl and then forgets it's the other person she's asked. I'm clutching at straws and not quite ready to believe it's being done on purpose.

We've paid now until the end of term and have to give half a terms notice. I will have to decide by half term what to do.

I'm not really thinking that any of the teachers would use the children to play politics, but just whether there might be feelings amongst the staff.

If you have until half term to decide that would give you a few weeks to try to find a local "independent" teacher, although I know that's not always easy, especially now we're into term because they might not have any spaces.

I have looked on the Music Teachers website and there's no one really local or who seemed to have the right experience. I'd rather go with a recommend but don't know anyone who learns Flute with an independant teacher, they all seem to be on the otherside of the city.

I've just had a thought I could ask her Oboe Teacher as he's based at Chets he might know someone.