This one is quite difficult to phrase. For those of you who have had both a female and a male private instrument teacher, did you find that there was a difference in the way they taught you and the relationship you had with them. I ask this question because with my male music teacher even after several years I know absolutely nothing about him outside music and he knows absolutely nothing about me whereas with the female teacher I have only had twice I know far more about her. With my male music teacher it was just the music whereas with the female teacher we talk about other things before and after the lesson and I feel that once I get over my shyness I will have more of a relationship with her.

in the past, my teacher was a female and she taught until end of April this year... she had taught me for 4 years plus... my current teacher is a male and he taught me from May onwards...

with my female teacher, we talked more stuffs that are unrelated to music... with my male teacher, though we sometimes talked about stuffs that were unrelated to music and joked about stuffs, but i think he's much much stricter compared to my female teacher... let's say if you didnt practise the piano everytime, the female teacher i had in the past wouldnt say anything, but the male teacher i had currently will ask for reasons etc... let's say if you were given a new piece to learn, my current teacher will make sure everything are played as though you are going for an exam but the female teacher will just make sure you know how to play the piece... (i think this is the main reason why i took more than 1 month to finish a piece sometimes )

i personally feel that male teachers tend to be kinda more serious in their teaching and they are more pushy compared to female teachers... well, this is just my opinion, maybe i'm right, maybe i'm wrong...


ShArOn

Clarify: Are you female then?

To me, it doesn't really matter. I have two different teachers for two different instruments (piano and violin)... They arre actually very similar in teaching styles except the male teacher (piano) is much older and more grand and majestic and the female teacher (violin) is more strict... But I'm not critisising them... They are good teachers...

Ive experienced both good and bad, from both sexes and for different instruments too.

I think the rapport you have, or develop with a teacher, is very much a personality thing. It bears no relation as to whether they are a good or bad teacher - unless you've heard otherwise about them - but if there is even the mildest clash between the two of you emtionally, then it doesn't matter whether the teacher is male or female, there will be a friction of some sort and it is bound to affect communication in some way.

We are all different and we will always find some people in life with whom we get on with like a house on fire, while there will be those with whom we feel almost a coldness in their approach.

My girls have a mixture of Male and Female Teachers, they have an equally good relationship with their elderly female piano teacher as they do with one of their other instument teachers who is young and male.

As a parent I've only ever had problems with one of their teachers and she is female and of a similar age, perhaps that says it all! Both the guys are fine, they chat about things other than Music, neither are remote like your male teacher. Perhaps your teacher's just shy or generally more inclined to keep himself to himself. Both of the other women are equally friendly the older lady is like an adopted Granny and the younger one we have a laugh with.

Hi Pizza

My name is Melody. I am female. I agree with Amanda that the rapport is very much a personality thing. I wasn't saying my male teacher was a bad teacher because he wasn't. I was just interested in the relationships other people have with their teachers.

I think notmusimum's probably got it right about it being more dependant on the kind of relationship you have with them. On my main instrument i've had three teachers, 2 female one male, i never really got along with the first one (f) but with the other two i've always had a good rapport. Conversly to your situation i probably know far more about my male teacher's non musical life than i know about the other two put together. ....Guess it just depends.

Personally I have both and can't really see the difference.
Personality helps a lot, and if you get to know them outside a teaching situation, then you develop a much better relationship.

That's quite an important point. There are so many issues other than gender (age etc.) I think it's impossible to generalise. I taught at a primary school today for the first time, and 8 out of 9 pupils were girls (the boy actually forgot his clarinet! but stayed and listened) and we all got on fine. It did ocur to me I was only talking about music, but since it was the first time we met there wasn't really time for anything else. Hopefully that will change, as I think it does help to talk on a more personal level, as long as you know the line!

Melody, my situation was somewhat similar to yours when i first went to the teacher i have now.

Going off topic: Generally, male teachers are more firm and more demanding, whereas a female teacher is a little more flexible. Which is why i left my old teacher(female), because i wasnt getting enough pressure.

But back to the point, at first, my teacher now was really mean to me, so i closed myself up, and barely knew a thing about him, but in the past year, things have gotten better and now we have a pretty good relationship, not without friction here and there though...

My violin teacher(who is also male), on the other hand is great and talks about his personal life with music, e.g, the orchestra he plays in e.t.c

So re-iterating what everyone else said, it depends on personality, and your relationship with your teacher. But hey, you're not alone!

I have experienced both female teachers with different teaching methods. One is much more experienced because she's older and stricter. My last grade 8 piano teacher was not so strict, so i also din't practise very hard and became a bit lazy! Good teachers must satisfy some criterias like caring, experienced, dedicated on teaching, etc.. That's my view too..maybe i can't compare with a male teacher.

Dennis~~

I will be looking for a female singing teacher - it just seems such a personal thing to be learning I know I'd be more comfortable with a woman.

My experience is that my female teachers have been more chatty but also more demanding in what is an acceptable level before moving on. The one male teacher I have had never said anything other than about the music in hand but was much more open to "new interpretations" of it. I think I've benefited form both approaches.

Friendly is perhaps the most important thing to me.

I just hate it when the teachers change the subject and its irrelevant to the lesson... For example my piano talked about his goldfish... I think that says it all!

I'm also sure that the gender of the teacher makes no difference - it is down to the personality of the two people how they interact, and teaching/learning styles. There will be male and female teachers who are more demanding in their approach, and others who are more laid-back, just as there are pupils who are more conscientious/neurotic/chilled/cheerful/whatever. I'd not consider the gender of a teacher in choosing one; but look instead at the interpersonal reactions.

Good advice!

Can't agree more.

i also didnt like when the teachers talk about too much stuffs that is irrelevant to the lesson... a bit is still ok for me though... btw, you mention that your piano talked about his goldfish? so marvellous, your piano can speak and it keeps a goldfish!!!

ShArOn

I think that it is important to get to know each pupil so that you can choose suitable music for them to work on, and set them a reasonable amount of work for the coming week. I find that a few moments of general chit chat at the start of a lesson is well worth while and makes a pupil feel more relaxed. With adult singers at an advanced level I feel that it is important to choose a teacher of the same gender for the simple reason that they can demonstrate exactly what they want, and will be more familiar with repertoire for that voice. It is one thing to know operatic arias but quite another to have actually performed them in professional productions for example.

I have only ever been taught by male teachers and as I have lessons through school I didn't really get any choice. I would say that probably it is more down to the personality of the teacher rther than the gender as my teachers are vastly diffrent personality wise and I find I get on so much better with my cello teacher. He is so much more understanding and friendly and If I am struggling he actually explains it and makes sure I understand where as my oboe teacher just gets annoyed. However both of them talk to me about things un related to my lessons when setting up instruments and the like but I find it much easier to talk to my cello teacher as he actually seems to listen where as my oboe teacher will ask me somthing then starts playing with his phone or reading his newspaper while I am anwsering.

My last piano teacher was female and was very easy going and friendly, I still send her Xmas and birthday cards. However, I felt that I wasn't learning anything anymore and I am now with a new teacher who is male. He is fantastic He makes me a coffee at the start of the lesson and we have a nice chat while we drink it so I feel we are getting to know each other quite well I like his teaching style very much too, it's very different to what I've experienced before

In other words, I think it depends on the person, not their gender

In a strange way I wonder if sometimes male teachers are even more careful how they deal with younger pupils basically for the reasons being discussed here. I agree it should not make any difference, but the image of some people is that men are more 'pushy', 'strict' etc. Last night I had an 11 year old girl in the house for her first clarinet lesson with me, her mum waited in the next room. Very, very shy girl, maybe not easy with complete strangers, or maybe bad experriences with previous teachers, but that was exactly what made me very careful how I spoke and discussed details. The result was she seemed totally at ease after not too long, and she and her mum went away delighted. We made good musical progress as well. Similar with the primary school kids.

I don't like the stereotypes of male and female in general, but the fact is they are in some people's minds at varying levels, and have to be considered.

My own mental image is the reverse of that Neil.
I see female teachers as being stricter somehow though I can't recall it being form some bad experience in the past.
Maybe it's that my first piano teacher was male and the female clarinet teacher I had at school I didn't like much.

I like my current (female) teacher though.

This thread made me think for a bit. When I was studying the trumpet and cornet I had a female teacher from the age of 11 until I went to University and at about 13 I had a male teacher too - through the music service at school. Oddly, both my teachers were homosexual. Before everyone has a go and me I only mention it because the way they interracted in the lessons were very different - almost like the man was more like a sterotypical female and vice versa.

My male teacher was ace - loads of fun, very open (I knew he was Gay within the first six months of lessons as he openly told me) and loved to tell me about his weekend and his dog etc. We got on brilliantly and I was proud to have been taught by him (especially as he was extremely good looking and all my friends were jealous!! ) Every Christmas my Mum used to make him a cold Turkey dinner to eat as his teaching schedule meant he never had time for lunch! I learnt lots from him and always worked hard. His positive attitude gave my confidence a real boost - which it needed as my female teacher was very hard. She was quite stroppy, NEVER demonstrated during lessons (she never even used to bring an instrument to the lesson), got frustrated when I didn't understand and always compared me to others who were younger than me who could play what i was struggling with. She was very brisk and may have thought that her approach was what I needed to help me progress but I remember many lessons where I felt crumpled after having practised so hard all week and then not being able to do it in my lesson for fear of getting it wrong. I have been told now I am considerably older that this was just her way and in fact she was very fond of me!

I have just had a quick count up my private students and have noted that as a female teacher I have 14 male pupils aged 11 to 76 and 3 female pupils aged 10 - 15. I teach brass which is a bit more male orientated but those numbers surprised me to be honest!

My female piano teacher talks about her cat all the time- I think it's her livelihood...
Normally actually get more nervous with females- not sure why!