Following up from what was said in another thread about students moving from teacher to teacher trying to find the right one.... it's awfully wrong to do that, but how do you find the right one? Because it is somewhat like school, every teacher is different, and you will get on better with some than with others. How would you find a music teacher that you really like? And teachers, what do you do about students that you dont like?

Hi Alias

This is an interesting one. I think it is more difficult when it is one and one if the personalities do not gel than in a classroom situation. I too would love to know what teachers do with students they do not like, or if they ever tell someone they are wasting their money if they are totally rubbish at the instrument they are being taught. Sometimes I can tell straightaway if I am going to get on with someone. When I phoned the new teacher that I have recently started with she was very nice and pleasant on the phone. I know you cannot always tell on the phone but when I had my first lesson with her, she asked me about what I had learnt to play and wrote it down in a book with the latest exam I had done and my other details. She identified the weaknesses in my technique straightaway and other weaknesses and started work on two of them during my first lesson. When I told her that I had passed g8 but actually couldn't really play anything she was all right about it and I was a little slightly less embarrassed about it than I might have been with another teacher. I think it is really important to feel comfortable with your teacher otherwise you cannot learn if you are worried about making mistakes. Also she saw me at my most pathetic on my first lesson because I managed to have two asthma attacks -- severe coughing -- during the lesson. Normally I would be just so, so embarrassed but she made me feel relaxed and my lesson ended up being 1 hour and 15 minutes. Having said that, I know that she is the type of teacher who, although kind, I know I have to do the work. My old teacher used to write all the fingerings for me and when my new teacher said it is best to stick to the fingerings you have written when playing the music, I said, "I didn't write them. Actually my teachers write them for me". She said, "Perhaps it would be a good idea if I started writing them myself". She wasn't horrible but I knew she meant business.

Alias, this ties in with one of the things I've said to you. It's so true. It might not be the case in your situation, but do think about whether it's one of the things that is concerning your teacher, that he wants you to be a "rounded" performer, not just able to play exam pieces...

(It sounds as if your new teacher is going to be really good for you, Melody Amour. Glad it's working out for you.)

I too would love to know what teachers do with students they do not like, or if they ever tell someone they are wasting their money if they are totally rubbish at the instrument they are being taught.

This is very rare indeed - although it has happened. "Do not like" is a bit strong, I find something to like in just about all my pupils, perhaps "do not click" is a better description. I also don't think anyone is ever "totally rubbish", there may be enormous problems, but there is always something they can do, even though you may end up recommending a different instrument. One example springs to mind however ...

I had a mid-teens student briefly a few years ago, who claimed to have passed grades 5 and 6, but couldn't play any pieces fluently. We discussed the way forward but kept hitting brick walls "I never do that" or " I don't do such and such between exams". I was not prepared to consider the next grade without a rethink of approach, because I didn't believe it was feasible. Clearly early technique had not been established, possibly a mixture of self-teaching and several short-term teachers. Various pieces were scrambled through with all kinds of stops and starts in the middle; anything I wanted to improve was met with "but I can play that". Most things I suggested were met with "that doesn't work for me".

I felt the student and I were unable to agree on most points, and at this level it would be very difficult to move forward. I suggested that I was not the right teacher to help this particular student. It's very rare, though, as I said. At the other end of the spectrum, I need to see signs of interest in the first term with a new beginner before I will agree to give them a regular lesson slot. If I suspect the impetus comes more from parents than the pupil, I proceed with caution - if they start to enjoy it, wonderful, but if not I will not continue for very long without discussion.

This is an interesting one. I find I have to wait at least a year with some students before we establish a relaxed working relationship. These are usually the quieter ones, who are more reserved and take longer to get to know. With others we hit it off straight away.

For example, I had four new private students start in September last year: an 11-year-old who was around Grade 4 standard, a 13-year-old (Grade 4), and two 15-year-olds who were post-Grade 5 but needed to do Grade 5 theory. One of the 15-year-olds and I clicked straight away. The two younger ones took around the year to open up a little; the other 15-year-old and I still have a fairly stilted relationship, although this may be because her attendance has been patchy due to ill health.

One of the girls at the school I have just started teaching in is rather like maggiemay's former student. These are so hard to deal with; I really have to struggle not to get on the defensive all the time with this girl, which wouldn't help. I think she had a bad experience with her former teacher, and I'm reaping the reault. Another girl I teach at this school has had 5 teachers in five years of playing - I'm the sixth. It's quite clear that she's not comfortable with me with this history. I'm sure she feels I'm not going to be around long enough to make it worthwhile bothering to get to know me. Students' past baggage has such a big effect, and hinders learning so often.

I'm also teaching one younger girl whose mother has been extremely pushy and aggressive in her notes to me, right from the beginning. I'm trying hard not to let it influence the way I react to her daughter, but things like this don't help.

This has been the case with my (very shy) daughter and her cello teachers. It took her about six months to say anything other than yes or no to her cello teacher who then went on maternity leave. After about four months the music school got a replacement. By the end of the year my daughter was just starting to open up a bit to the second teacher when the first one's maternity leave ended and she came back. My daughter had almost completely forgotten her and it was back to square one as far as communication went. This year (having had her all last year) my daughter is finally relaxed in her presence, will ask questions if she doesn't understand, expresses preferences for what she is playing and is progressing in leaps and bounds. (I am selfishly hoping that her teacher is not going to have a second baby!)

I've had a similar experience to Maggiemay too.
The boy was self taught but seemed ok at the start.
He often disagreed with the way I asked him to do things even though I always explained and emonstrated why my way was better than his.
I got to the point of telling him straight that if he didn't want to take any notice of me then he was wasting his time, my time and his parents' money.

As a student I usually find that gut reaction on first contact with a teacher is pretty accurate.
When I've felt unsure about someone on phoning but gone ahead with lessons it hasn't worked out.

I feel that my old piano teacher was one of the best you can have technique wise(mabe because Japanese teachers are strict about technique). So my fingers are good enough to do g6 piano without trouble.

Isn't a lot of it down to sheer luck?
First you have to find a teacher for the instrument you want to learn. Preferably without travelling hours to get to them...I happen to live in a city which has two specialist music schools, so there are lots of teachers for a good range of instruments. I also happen to live in a part of the city which has several very good piano teachers in easy reach, so it was much easier to find a teacher for my kids than it was for me - it took some networking to find mine. Folks living in more remote areas won't have such choice. Teaching and learning styles have to be compatible too, and of course a teacher needs to know how to adapt his/her methods to the pupil. (Ideally the pupil to the teacher too, but that is asking a lot of kids...and adults tend to be more set in their ways!)

I used to have a teacher who used to shout and who once said to me that is what she was being paid to do. I presumed she meant paid to teach me, rather than shout. Although her intentions were to enable me to correct my mistakes and play well, it left me on occasions feeling tearful. That approach might well work with some people and urge them on. I do not think that kind of approach works for my personality, although I did actually pass the exam I was taking. The thing is she was a really good teacher but I didn't like being shouted at, even though she used to say I could do anything I wanted to do. The other thing is we were forced to play in concerts. It was really was not optional. You had to do it. I tried to get out of it for one reason or another but she sternly said, "I will write you a note" because it is really important. She was very well organised and we got through a lot in the half an hour lesson. I still think of her fondly though.


Kerioboe said that she selfishly hoped that her daughter's teacher is not going to have a second baby. I know you were probably only half joking but it made me cringe when your comment reminded me that I used to worry about the teacher I have mentioned above dying before I took my exam because she was in her eighties. That is so horrible. Cringing.

You need to feel comfortable enough with your teacher that it is 'safe' to make mistakes and say when you don't understand something.

(I'm not sure about the construction of that sentence ... been a busy day).

Good point - in my town at the moment there is one older school type lady still going, otherwise it's just me! Not much choice I'm afraid!

Some of it is that... but you need to feel at ease with the teacher and inspired by the teacher.
You need to feel this is someone you can work WITH and FOR.
I think that without that, you won't make great progress

And how do you find that sort of person.
I know a couple of teachers I think I would work for, but they are about 3 hours drive away!!

I think that finding a music teacher is so tough...its a shame that so many of them you just cant click with. I would just say keep trying and hopefully you'll find the right one!

my current music teacher was introduced by a relative of mine. its better to get recommendations from relatives/ close friends rather than a stranger that you don't really know. your relatives will know what type of teacher you are looking for and give you the best advice.

The Right Teacher, How do you find the right one?


It's important to be on the same wavelength as your teacher, and you'll probably get a sense of whether this is going to be the case right from the first meeting. As long as the teacher stays focussed - you don't want to find that you get on so well that you end up chatting for most of the lesson!

Other things to think about:

- What sort of music do you want to play, and will your teacher be happy to accommodate you (at least some of the time)?

- Does the teacher work to school term times? If so, this means that you will have to have an enforced break quite regularly.

- Assuming you expect to stay with the same teacher indefinitely, you'd need to be assured that they can teach you as far as you want to go, eg G8 or whatever.

- How important do they think Theory is, and will they cover it in the lessons?

- Assuming you want to take exams, do they teach every aspect of it (eg aural)?

- I find it adds to the value of the lesson that my teacher accompanies me on piano sometimes. Not a critical factor though - many teachers don't.

Can't think of anything else at the moment, will add later if I do

I would have put that as majorly important. I play along to the piano at least once each lesson - I find it helps me not to bend notes out of tune - something that's easy to develop as a bad habit on the flute.

I think it would be tricky to enter exams without having practiced with a live accompaniment - and you'd have to hire someone to go to the exam with you. I guess that can be expected at a higher grade anyway but with starting out I'd put playing the piano as a basic teacher skill.

One of two of the points I made in my list were inspired by the the thread called "Is this correct" in the Parents forum. Because of the ambiguous title of the thread, I thought many people may not have read it, but it discusses whether teachers should play piano and/or offer aural. The thread is below:

http://forums.abrsm.org/index.php?showtopic=19185

Although I find it very useful myself, and also enjoyable to have piano accompaniment even when not doing exam pieces, I'm aware that other people don't think it's critical - the main thing as far as this thread is concerned is to find out from the teacher what their position is so that someone can make an informed judgement depending on their circumstances and aspirations.

I see a new thread has now been started to discuss this particular issue in more detail.