QUOTE(Soph15 @ Dec 28 2006, 09:02 PM)
All through my school life, I have had problems with bullys and friendships etc. It has come to points where I have walked out of class and refusing to go in. It got worse in secondary school. I used to have confidence, but now I dont seem to have any and always put myself down. Could these bad experiences be the reason for my loss in confidence? If so how can I solve it?
I've only just spotted this thread so apologies if I'm saying things others have said as I speed read a bit.
I have had the same experiences of bullying. The reasons for it don't matter as there is no valid reason to bully anyone, so don't think about how you can change yourself etc... You don't need to. They have the problem and not you.
It's easy to say ignore it, but it's a difficult thing to do in practise. Girls in particular can be very nasty when they get together, and most of them only join in so they don't end up being bullied themselves.
I was very shy, so got picked on by one particular group until sixth form. I think I was probably a bit gawky looking until I was about 15, with greasy hair and big thick glasses! Being reasonably bright probably didn't help my case much either...
For the moment, try to tell someone if at all possible. If it isn't your parents, there could be a teacher you could confide in who will keep an eye out for you without openly making a scene and aggravating matters. Try to find friends outside of school who have common interests, as that can give you something to look forward to at the weekends or evenings.
Verbal bullying does
hurt as much if not more than physical bullying. Don't dignify anything bad said to you with a reply.
You have a right to be happy and get some peace in your life! Being nice and sweet no matter what people throw at you might be the right thing to do in theory, but it's also a good way to end up as a doormat.
My mum and dad used to give me quite conflicting advice. Mum would say "if someone hits you, walk away and tell someone about it. You are the better person etc..." My dad would say "if someone hits you, hit them back twice as hard!" If the first method doesn't work - I'd try the second. I realise some others might not agree with me here, but everyone has a limit to the level of abuse they can cheerfully put up with.