I've just received an email from a student excusing herself from her lesson tomorrow. Her reason? She's being cut out of a crushed car as part of a demonstration, and the Fire Service need to interview her.

Can anyone beat that?

Bravo!

I heard a good one at an amateur orchestra rehearsal a while ago. The conductor realised a few minutes in that there was an empty seat in the 1st violin section. "Where's Ian?" he asked. "He's having dinner with the Chinese ambassador," came the reply. As far as I know this has yet to be beaten.

Slightly off-topic (already?!) but in the spirit of your title, Oban High School's magazine has a fixation for " ... of the Month" articles, extending even to having a Month of the Month. I hope I'm not revealing too many pre-publication secrets by saying that the Month of the Month in the February issue will be June.

Some years ago my kids were late arriving at something - the excuse ..."Mummy had a sheep stuck under her car & she had to get us out of the car & jack up the front to get the sheep out....!"

A trainee with the surname Gosling, excuse for being absent Turkey Trot!

No I've not made it up!!!!

Excuses I used at school:



"Why were you late?"

"Coz I, err, didn't get here on time!"



"Why were you late?"

"Sorry - I was hunting badgers on the tennis courts!"



"Why weren't you in yesterday's lesson?"

"Something to do with the time-space-continuum... Ask the Science deptartment!"

Hahaa, and was that the truth?

...yes . Sheep ran across road - I wasn't going very fast but it rolled under the car & I couldn't get it out without jacking the car up. Miraculously it was unscathed....saved by its fleece I think

Sounds scary, but it's quite funny. Glad the sheepy was ok

Excuse me, sonataform, but there is nothing wrong with our school magazine.... it's.......unique but now you've ruined the surprise for me =( grrr

I have the greatest admiration for the school magazine and have a pound ready for when the next one appears. Sorry about the June thing but I'm told by a reliable source that there going to be other great ... of the Months for you to enjoy

Awww...glad the sheep was OK, Andrea!

We had to sign the 'late book' in the office if we were ever late for school, I think my best couple were - 'I had a transporter beam malfuncion' and 'ran out of di lithium crystals en route'

'Sorry I'm late, I had to go and turn my bike round'

That happened to me once too - unfortunately the sheep wasn't ok.........

I thought "My cat had kittens under the piano so we coudn't go near it" was quite good. When I asked why she coudn't use the keyboard as an alternative, she said "Oh, that's right near the piano" .... hmm ....

Heard a good one this morning. The Head of Music (at the school where I was teaching) got back from sick leave earlier this week. In assembly she announced that lunchtime music clubs would not be starting up again until next Monday, so one of my students (who doesn't even attend Orchestra) took this to mean that he shouldn't practise until then (practising being a musical activity) WHAT?!

Hahahaha! I've been sitting reading and laughing my head off at all of these! If only I was as inventive...

One of my excuses for not practising was " Sorry, but I really couldn't be bothered to turn the page"!!

I'm still laughing about that silly boy! He seemed so serious when he said "I didn't practise because I didn't think we were supposed to" and unfortunately he can sometimes be every bit as gormless as he sounds!

The best one I've heard this week......'couldn't practise this week beacuse I've got two new hamsters!!!!!!' HONEST!

hillyb

A few months ago a pupil said 'I couldn't practise because I had to have a shower!'.

Violinia

My best one was:
Me: "Sorry, I couldn't practice because my mother wouldn't let me play in the house and it was too cold outside"
Music Teacher: "Your mother wouldn't let you play?"
Me: "You haven't met my mother"

One that my teacher told me.

Pupil: My mum and dad said I didn't need practice anymore
Teacher: Why not?
Pupil: Well the neighbours have moved and they like the new ones

That was actually true with my brother and his eldest daughter......

As one of my pupils was leaving today, I informed her Dad that she would be composing a piano piece of her own for next lesson. He replied "Glad I'll be out working most of this week then!"

I hope he was only joking

Hehe, actually...this was true. My mother hates me practicing.

one of my students rang last week to tell me she'd be late because there was a power strike, with all theirs gone and it somehow effected their gates outside which open by remote, and the gates were stuck, and she couldn't leave her house.

This sort of happened to me too, only it was my garage doors. I couldn't get the car out of the garage without any electricity so had to phone my school to cancel. I could tell the secretary didn't believe me!