Just been talking with my esteemed flute-sis about exams and stuff, and my freeze-frame reaction to them even though I would actually rather like to prove to myself I can do them...

I found the concert a little intimidating, not because of the people but more the sudden realisation of sharing a concert platform with 4 really good flute-players... BUT even so, like I said to Nicki, when it comes to the thought of an exam,

"I find it more scary than a forum concert even with shedloads of uber-amazing flautists listening."

I really don't know why I have this mental block about exams - the only one I've ever done on flute was almost a solo effort and I still got a good mark even though I didn't play as well as I hoped I would. But I find the thought of it really scary! Much as I remind myself that the examiners are supposed to be on my side, and that if I do one it'll be one that "should" be easy, it still scares me witless. In my logical brain I know it shouldn't be a problem, but that generally gets overruled!

Argh. I guess answers for the "Whys" are few and far between (I think it's cos I care too much when it comes to flute) but is it just me?? Please tell me no......

Because it's one person who you think is going to slate you completely and is listening critically to every note.

PS - Wooo flute sisters

I'd rather do an exam - at least I'm not going to meet the examiner again.

I think maybe that's partly what scares me - they have no reason to be nice?!

I'd rather do friendly people.

LOL .

Maybe it's that incase you do balls up and get a "bad" mark and it's written down on paper?

Probably because in my youth I usually only did exams or festivals, and at least in exams no-one stood up and rubbished your playing in public.

I think it's at least partly that - had teachers try and drum it in to me that I was rubbish at school and still dread that someone will turn around and say "well actually, you are".

edit: Andante - erk yeah can see why that would be... well, horrible

No...it's just apart from probably my A2 recital, I don't get half as nervous for concerts in front of people I know.

I'd rather have a few people watching me than one...

I think you guys miss the 'fun' element of it. Get out there, be you, do your stuff and who cares if the examiner/audience give you a hard time. Let them get up there and do it. In performance the worst critic is yourself, and the main cause of any mishaps. Enjoy your music!

I can't do exams or friendly people.

Inclined to agree with you Nicki. I do get nerves before forum concerts, yes, but I do find playing to such a friendly and supportive crowd to be a very pleasant experience.

Too true, MrB. Well, there's only one thing for it - shoot the critic!

anyone got a way of shooting the inner critic whilst not causing damage to oneself..?!

Thing is, once I'm in the exam room it's not so bad - and it can even be vaguely fun, if things go reasonably well. But the lead up to it is (for me) the opposite of fun, and saps any confidence I had in myself

Hehe Sarah .

Some twit in my house has decided to find out what a competition festival is like to play in . Experience of exams is that the fear comes from knowing that the examiner is trained to listen critically; an ordinary audience may well not be; an audience of musicians though is a scary idea. Thank goodness I'm not a kid doing the festival thing - don't have a heap of pushy parents to contend with as well as the other competitors . I'll admit that whilst I find the idea of the forum concerts good, I'm very much in two minds about how threatening I'd find it to take part in one.
So far the experience I'd find the most intimidating of all hasn't happened - playing in front of some of the very well-respected professional musicians I've been lucky enough to meet...(though I'd love to be allowed to play music with them!)

The trouble with exams is that, like it or not, they validate where you're at.

I have played the flute for thirty+ years but only took Grade 1 in November. But will take Grade 6 a year later. Suddenly those I know actually believe I can play the flute.

Conversely, I have an aquaintance (Not a friend of mine - just someone whose company I suffer) who never misses a chance to tell everyone how good at singing she is and that she took it to a high level when she was young... - and when she found I was doing Grade 2 singing next term she decided that she would too. ("Oh, I thought by "high level" you'd done some grades?") Had me run through what she would need to do. I played a few things from the G2 book and she thought she did well ( ) and then we tried sight reading. Only she can't read music. At all. Not a note...

She plays the piano too (with one hand and no music).

When faced with people who will happily declare their "musical skills" suddenly getting to G8 feels important.... in flute and singing... piano?.... recorder?..... oboe? (even).... so I can quietly put them in a drawer and not tell anyone.

I know what you mean about people with "musical skills" - I expect everyone meets them from time to time.

But don't put the instruments away in a drawer, keep playing them. After all, that's what's important. Certificates are nice to have, but the music is what matters.

Hear hear!

I meant "put the certificates in a drawer" - so as not to be someone who tells everyone

Oh, that's OK then.

I'm with you Kerioboe.
Shall we find ourselves a nice, safe hole to crawl into?

Only insofar as they validate where you're at, in the context of a limited subsection of your technical and artistic skills, on one particular day.

We all know we can perform better in rehearsal, or the week before, or the week after!

In my recent exam I tried to think of the examiner as being a forum member (it helped that he was very smiley and friendly). And I tried to remember some of the advice I've seen here, like just trying to play as nicely as possible so that the examiner enjoys what s/he's listening to. And putting the music before yourself.

I think it also helped that I did the exam in a slightly different order - this time I did my scales first, and thinking about it, I think that made a big difference. I'm normally very secure on scales, but I did make one or two slip-ups presumably through nerves, even though I didn't feel particularly nervous. But at least in-between the scales, I had a few seconds to "recover". If I'd played the pieces first as I normally do, and slipped up in one of those, it could have thrown me for the rest of the piece. I think doing the scales first gave me chance to settle down so that I was more at ease when I came to do the pieces which obviously carry the most marks.



I love that story

Hmmm interesting - I didn't even know till recently that you had a choice...

I knew you had a choice, but I haven't done anything extravagant.

But I always do all the playing in one go, rather than letting my flute go cold.

I've only had one flute exam - but I took the examiner's suggestion of splitting mine up to give myself a rest (till the guy said, I had no idea it was an option!). I think I did A&B lists, aurals, then study, scales, SR.

For me, thinking of one of the scariest experiences in my life helps to put exams into perspective in comparison.

Yes lets and then we can play together.
While I am paranoid about playing to people I love playing with people.

And (and this is how I know I am totally irrational) provided I am playing with a group of people it doesn't bother me if I have solo parts.

I'm completely the opposite! I'm terrified at the thought of a solo part, even if it's only one bar. I think it's the build-up, or the thought that I might miss coming in, or that I'll just come out with a squeak, or ... well dozens of things that could go wrong! I'd much rather play a complete solo!

Maybe it's also the thought of possibly letting someone down?? Whereas with a solo there's no one else to be responsible for.

We're a funny lot, aren't we!

Oh yes absolutely... I have visions of the ensemble falling apart because I've played either the wrong notes or the wrong rhythm so nobody knows when to come back in...

Yeah I can understand that one I guess.













must...go...practise....

Yes, we were discussing playing solo parts in an ensemble this afternoon at the recorder meeting. I too find it much more terrifying to play a solo, or play as one of only two or three on a part in an ensemble setting than I do about standing up on stage.

Jo.clarinet asked me to play a relatively easy short solo in a piece she was conducting this afternoon and I could feel my heart thumping just before I came in - much more than it was in the Leicester concert.

But you played it beautifully.

Thank you. Very daunting when you analyse just who was listening to me, though.

I bet that will get you out of some scary scales next lesson.....

Me too - this is why I am dreading orchestra and my tour, I have the responsibility of a very solo heavy flute part, and even if I can play the part fine at home, I just collapse in orchestra

Much as I find playing for anyone a bit scary, I also *think* I tend to play/sing better for an audience, as long as I have the nerves reasonably under control. Anyone else find that?

Yes, the lower the number of people watching, the worse I am!

Yes, that's it how dumb is that? *wry grin*

Like with orchestra, I feel the conductor is just watching me critically *Shudders*

Even at Market Harborough today I was so terrified playing, and was shaking. Gah

i know what you mean, - I love doing solos for a huge room of people - even though i get terrible nerves!
But playing at my band or infront of people i know is worse!! i don't know if its coz they know me and i'm afraid of making an arse of myself or not.

As for exams i used to get my self in a terrrible state, and i think that really used to hinder my performances, (also my scales, aural and sight readin would let me down)

I would love to do a peice at my charter band that was solo trumpet backed with the band just so i could show off again at a concert.. the adrenalin! the buzz... i haven't done a real solo for over 10 years.

Nicki played a solo at Market Harborough yesterday, and I stood at the back of the room and had a listen. It was absolutely wonderful.

What were you playing, Nicki?

Sarah-Flute - can you think of an instrumental exam you could take from amoungst your many instruments where you really wouldn't mind what the result was? How about doing that exam and not telling anyone about it before hand either in person or on the forums. Resist the temptation to post about it even to get some support as it might increase the pressure. It wouldn't matter how you did because nobody would know except the examiner and you'll never meet him/her again. You could then gradually build towards exams which are more important, when you start to realise they are not quite as threatnening in reality as you imagine.

Just a thought.

I didn't mean to frighten you - I just thought you'd be a reliable person for the job - and yes, you did play it beautifully.

I really enjoy playing solos in ensemble pieces - though the heart-thumping bit just before you come in does come into it - but I find it exhilarating. That's why I like playing sopranino in Recorder Orchestra so much - I like the feeling of being an independent voice but yet part of the whole!

Thanks for explaining to the rest of the forum what I did Barry, I momentarily forgot that.

But thanks for the encouragement


Cavetina (can't spell it!) from the Deerhunter

Nice


yep, this has been on my mind... in a lot of ways it's more the difficulty of keeping it quiet in a small town when I need an accompanist for most things and transport... but yeah... it's an idea and it's definitely something to think about!!