I failed my driving test yesterday - only four minors but my wheel went on to the curb in my reverse around the corner

Instant fail - shucks..................

I don't want to be a misery guts though

so if anyone has any good news, jokes, or anecdotes that might cheer me up (cheer us all up)

Please post below

Thanks Guys

Hard luck Good Intentions. . I failed my driving test several times before passing......

Sadly, as much of the forum already knows, my joke-telling ability isn't terribly great.....

Apparently, the best drivers are those who pass their test on their second or third re-sit

Music to my ears!

Yes, I failed my first on the reverse, but aced the second

I failed first time for not parking close enough to the kerb at the end of the test.

I failed second time for drifting slightly towards the centre of an emty road.

I nearly failed third time for not indicating before reversing round a corner.

Just stupid things - you will pass! I passed third time round and consider myself to be the worst driver I ave ever met though!

What about those of us who take longer?

Like yours truly....

In that case, I'm sure a few exceptions can be made

I took a long time to learn - about 16 months, I think (though with a school-summer-holiday of no lessons). I passed on my fourth test, although my third was failed on what my instructor considered ludicrously flimsy grounds

In retrospect, I think this was great - by the time I passed my test, a lot of the skills of driving had gone from my 'think about what you are doing' part of the brain in to the automatic part of the brain. I had driven in bright sun, in April showers, in February snow. I didn't drive after my test for four years, I think - but when I got back in a car again it was still there in my automatic brain (like being able to play a recorder after a 15 year absence!)
So there are advantages to taking your time

Here's some Driving Humour to keep you amused!

Addy and Eddie are a very good driving team. If you want to be cheared up (or depressed beyong belief) read the OLTVA. After that nothing will seem so bad.

Slightly off-topic, but OLTVA really will cheer you up Good Intentions (I've read the first 81 pages and there's some good stuff there!)

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

This thread http://forums.abrsm.org/index.php?s=&s...st&p=516820 might be a good place for smiles!


Yes, I took about a year (and 3 goes!) to pass, but definitely was a better driver for it. A friend who also took 3 goes but took them in a shorter period of time, by the time she had passed her test had only driven in reasonable weather and during the day! She was a very nervous driver for a long time. OTOH, I had driven in snow, rain, dusk, twilight, darkness, bright sunshine, ice... you name it. I definitely had the advantage even though it took me longer to get through the test.

My two tests Dec 1964, and April 1965

Examiner: Well Im afraid your driving doesnt quite come up to our standards but you seem an intelligent young man and I'm sure you will pass next time .
----------------------------------------------------------------
Same Examiner: Hm, well I'll give you the benefit of the doubt ! But we did nearly end up rolling backwards right down to the Town Hall Square !


(Two months after that he died of a heart attack)

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco LoyaltyCard , the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor

gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti depressants

were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Consider me thorougly cheered

wonderful ! sorry about your test though GI.

hi i dont drive myself i have had lessons and really hated it so bought a flute instead and spent the money on flute lessons

my step mum knocked a man off his bike in the first test

on the second the instructors false teeth flew out when she had to stop suddenly

and passed on the third hope this cheers you up soon xxx

That's a good idea! If I don't like driving I'm taking up a new instrument!!!

Oh no! the usual old rubbish about passing second/third time etc. Balderdash, tripe, piffle!



for goodness sake, in that case hand in your licence NOW

Are you a driving instructor by any chance?

Probably an examiner!

In that case... ...I was merely repeating what I was told by another! (And trying to cheer someone else up in the process).

And anyone who doesn't try and "make GI smile" (it's in the title of the thread) is off-topic

Never mind, at least you didn't go the wrong way down a one way street!

Well, I enjoyed taking the test so much, I went back five times!!!!!!!!!!

..........so that's ten times between the pair of us................

I indicated right and turned left in one test......oops......

Remind me to stay clear away from DaisyChain and barry-clari on the roads!!!

examiner : 'did you not see the jeep in your mirror'

b-c : 'no'

examiner : 'the jeep driver made a face at you'

b-c : 'why?'

examiner : 'you turned in front of him'

b-c : 'oops'

Believe it or not, my driving record since my 5 tests has thus far been unblemished!.....

Am I right in thinking Leeds is in the West Country Fred???! Just so I know for when I head off next week!!



Hehehe!!! Love it!

That's quite an achievement!

My mother's neighbour knocked someone over in her seventh test. (Not badly hurt, luckily)

Eventually passed on her tenth or eleventh.

You're nowhere near that!

Indeed it is!! And should be recognised as such in the Cafe Awards....starts writing acceptance speech....

I'd certainly vote for you both!

**writes note to self that barry-clari and DaisyChain are the best people to go to for advice when starting driving lessons**

*ahem*



Definitely!!! I took 11 months ish from beginner to pass my test. I've had so much experience - I've driven to so many places on my insured car, and I've driven in all sorts of conditions, so feel a bit more confident that I have encountered quite a few situations.

Also, with only 4 minors that shows you're nearly ready. Plus, mounting the kerb is a fail, but generally, just touching it is not.

*hugs*

Loved the Tesco post

A man was stuck in a 50 mile long traffic jam on a motorway in his Toyota Auris. The traffic reports on the radio said he would be stuck in the traffic jam for another 6 hours, and he urgently needed to be somewhere within 2 hours. As a result, he needed a hard shoulder to cry on.

Car Expert

Examiner to a friend of mine from school: "Well, Rachel, you're a good driver, and I'd like to pass you. But after you hit that hearse ... "

That's dead funny!!!!!!!!!

Hee! Hee! DaisyChain is continuing the theme here... ...that has knocked the life out of me!

Stop!! I'm coffin with laughter!!!!!!!!!!

*groans*

I had the same examiner twice, and he never commented on anything.

Test one: Sorry to say you've failed
Test two: You've passed

He then disappeared!

It was a dead cert that she'd failed then ....

I expect she was dead chuffed when she eventually passed (over!!!!)

I bet the instructor who'd undertaken to teach her was tickled to death as well

I seem to have created a monster ...

" Heaven...I'm in heaven...."





You'll have to grin and (Pall) bear it I'm afraid!!

Sorry........XXXX