scratched him violently

because the barman had not stuck to his diet and

he'd eaten the following week's supply of cat food



Will you stop changing your post DC as mine doesn't make sense now !!!!!!!

moi??!


which is chock full of calories so

he decided to leave the drunkards(!) and headed down to the gym...

but by the time he got there it was closed so

Alas this was the first visit to the Gym for a very long time and he had forgotten what to do and how..

so he headed to the nearest kebab place and bought the biggest, greasiest..

wig that he could find to cover his big fat spotty

derriere...

of which he was dreadfully ashamed...

and he vowed never to eat cat food again, so we all left the pub and went to

bed



Nite nite!

nite nite!!

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising...

a strange noise was heard in the distance...

'twas a mighty strange noise, the likes I had never heard before..

and I puzzled over what it could be, until...

I realised it was my new Mickey Mouse alarm clock going off, so..

I jumped up! Threw on some clothes and...

headed straight out the door, only the door wasn't open...

...so I ended up in casualty..

where I bumped into..

Robodoc, holding the biggest needle and syringe I have ever seen...

so I ducked around the corner to avoid it, unaware that...

it wasn't really a needle and syringe, it was

something that looked very similar, like a....( )

large bottle of gin with a cocktail straw

what do you intend doing with that, I asked...

but before he could answer, the door flew open

so I flew out and stepped straight onto a banana skin

which let out a 'yelp'! so I...

stepped on it again..

and then a policeman arrived who said "I'm arresting you for

GBH to a banana skin" to which I replied

"I didn't know Grievous Bananaskin Harm was a crime"

and so I stole his hat and ran...

straight into a lamp post

but fortunately I didn't hurt myself because

it was made of rubber!

just like the truncheon which the policeman was

hitting me over the head with! I said "Hey Plod...

off before I call

my aquaintances Addy and Liddy, who will

launch into a medley of Gilbert and Sullivan favourites, and the policeman

looked at me in horror, before...

joining in! Suddenly he realised he was being watched by...

Martians..

who evidently really needed to get...

a hair cut..