Mr LooneyTunes achieved grade 8 in guitar whilst still at school but sadly plays only rarely these days....he serenaded me with 'Cavatina' when we first started dating after uni.....

I'm very lucky - he's been incredibly supportive as I've worked my way up the grades in piano (5) and more recently violin (3ish - ?Nov) - and he's a great dad. As I've stated in previous threads I find music incredibly therapeutic and a way to wind down after work/kids have had their slice! I'm finally doing something for myself rather than the academic/career stuff that I just drifted into from school (I took my last professional exam aged 31).

Unfortunately there's one area where he's complelely useless - he can't remember any theory so any attempts to engage him on that front are utterly futile!

Mr SmallScale doesn't play an instrument but is hugely supportive of the efforts of the rest of the family. (One son plays the bassoon and piano, the other plays the cornet, I've started the trombone and we all share a spindly music stand.) I'm hoping he'll join in on percussion one day then he can find out for himself what fun it is to make music.

I've got to feel sorry for Mr Bing. When we met, I was going through my 'if I'm not going to pursue my music, I'm not going to listen to it'. Whilst I played the piano occasionally, it was for karaoke with friends - Elton John, Billy Joel etc. He likes listening to music enough - but isn't too familiar with classical.

Since I've rediscovered the piano, I've become obsessive about trying to catch up on 15 years of lost listening - going through everything from Bach/Beethoven/Mozart to Puccini/Wagner/Britten/Berg and Sondheim/Rodgers and H etc. The only thing he has violently objected to is G&S! He has been very good tempered about me getting up at 5.30 am to do my piano practice before work.

I have to remind myself that whilst I was merely 'taking a break' from music - this is all new to him, and not something he'd bargained on!

[quote name='monkey flute' date='Jun 27 2007, 01:50 PM' post='541333']


hi i just wondered how many of us have music playing partners and how many of us were not musical when meeting partner and have become so since


I met my late Husband in 1958 when I was 17 and he was 21 at a Gramophone Society. John fancied himself as a composer but had no training. He wrote some terribly avant garde Russian sounding piece and was accused of plaguarising. He lost interest and we had no access to a piano anyway. He kept his manuscripts but they got left behind when we moved in the early 60s from one furnished flat in London to another. It was my fault, I was the one who put it under a chest of drawers together with our Wedding Cards and my 21st Cards. By the time we realised and went back for them new tenants had moved in, there was nothing under the chest of drawers and the landlady said she had thrown anything left behind in the bin. I don't think John ever got over it and I still feel sad about it. I do have a privately recorded 78rpm disc that he had professionally done of him playing his main work but nothing to play the record on.

Music has always been important to both of us but poor John was not able to play for the last two years of his life because his hands were crippled by rheumatoid arthritus. The music I chose for his funeral and the song I sang unaccompanied reflected our interests in music.

Mr Blackbird doesn't play an instrument (he's always said that if he did it would be the triangle) but he's very supportive of my playing (or attempts at it anyway), even letting me use his study as a music room. He always says something nice about my playing, even when it's complete rubbish like it was yesterday when I was about to throw my violin out of the window, so I'm very lucky.

My cat (Taff) is another story - she's 15 and often comes and sits with me while I'm practising, she tends to purr and fall asleep if it's ok but for certain pieces she doesn't like, she will scratch the door to bits to get out. Does anyone else have pets that react to their playing?

Not married, but attached. My other half is our band's president. She got me into music. She's been playing since age about seven (is 25, just turned).

She got like, three grade fives and other grades. She a very competent musician. Yet interestingly I find I am the music lover even if I'm sadly lacking in talent. I have music on in the car, yet I will turn it off when we're talking or if I'm really concentrating. I'll also turn it off when I'm near a destination as I don't want to taop halfway through a track. I'm either listening propely, or I'm not listening at all.

She'll have music on that she supposedly "loves" but will pay it no interest.

Strange.

Not married, but attached. My other half is our band's president. She got me into music. She's been playing since age about seven (is 25, just turned).

She got like, three grade fives and other grades. She a very competent musician. Yet interestingly I find I am the music lover even if I'm sadly lacking in talent. I have music on in the car, yet I will turn it off when we're talking or if I'm really concentrating. I'll also turn it off when I'm near a destination as I don't want to taop halfway through a track. I'm either listening propely, or I'm not listening at all.

She'll have music on that she supposedly "loves" but will pay it no interest.

Strange.

This is an interesting thread.

I took up piano again some time after I married for the second time, as a hobby after I lost my nerve for riding. I hadn't really played for 25 years - since I left school - but there is a fantastic teacher nearby, and I'm loving it (and wishing I'd started again years ago - or never given up).
My husband doesn't play an instrument but likes going to concerts and recitals. He is incredibly supportive of me and doesn't mind how much I practice, or when I disappear after a dinner party to play duets.
Basically he's a saint who would support me in whatever I did, so I'm very lucky.

hi my hamster sort of sways along to the flute my cat lives with my mum and i email my mum stuff i play on my flute. sampson (the cat) starts purring and acting all soppy as he conects the sound of the flute with me i moved around in rented flats for a while after a spilt from the boyfriend that bought sampson so sam went to my mums with me and stayed while i rented be in the mean time i met mr monkey flute whos eyes swell up if a cat goes near him .

My cat Does Not Like the recorder. She'll leave the house if it's the descant, she'll be downstairs if I'm upstairs on the treble. The tenor and bass I don't play so much, but she doesn't seem to mind the bass.
She's not well at the moment so I was reading cat-stuff the other day, and it says that cats can hear about two octaves higher than humans. Sometimes when they meow at you, but no noise comes out, they are meowing but too high for human ears. One thing also said that cats don't like high notes much because they sound like the noise of kittens calling for mum. I guess if my music sounds like screaming babies to her, that makes her going out in the garden a lot more understandable!

One of my rats was really responsive to my singing. I've had no lessons singing, so it's just singing along to things or singing the song that's in my head. I would say that I'm not a good singer, I'm not a particularly tuneful singer - but she would always come to the bars of the cage and pay attention when I was singing (it'd usually get her a cuddle, too, so we all won!)

My cat (Taff) is another story - she's 15 and often comes and sits with me while I'm practising, she tends to purr and fall asleep if it's ok but for certain pieces she doesn't like, she will scratch the door to bits to get out. Does anyone else have pets that react to their playing?
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Our parrot sings loudly to compete with me when I practice. She bursts into an aria with a libretto that only she understands.
If I forget to shut the door she flies into the dining room where the piano is and struts around on top of it chucking scores on the floor and generally being annoying. She also enjoys shredding scores. One of my duet partners let her sit on his shoulder while he played until she pecked him on the ear.

My husband was playing a melodeon when I met him and then bought a beautuful anglo concertina. When we bought our first house together a wonderful bass guitar he had built in 6th form emerged from the attic only to be put in the next house's attic after only a few twnags and a moan about having a useless bass amp.
We have both played in a ceilidh band for over twenty years, entertaining folks at weddings, PTA dos and charity events in our village.
The bass finally emerged when I bought him a very good Marshall bass amp - we have played out in our village rock band twice and my husband now owns 3 bass guitars.
He gets a bit fed up with endless scales from me but he's pretty tolerant most of the time and has been supportive of all my ventures.

There are more and more people opting to remain single too. (One reason why so many extra homes are needed in the UK).

There's a lot to be said for having that sort of independence, especially in modern society and particularly when it comes to choice of career, but I know that living alone doesn't suit everyone. I know at least two people who hate being left alone, even for an hour or so. Whereas me, I can occupy myself with my own interests for hours (even days) on end and never feel as though I've been abandoned by others.

Regrettably, I know of a marriage that lasted just a few weeks because, despite the (non-musical) woman being besotted with her (trombone playing) husband, she decided that after he'd been away for a few weeks on tour, that she actually preferred single unmarried life. He returned home to find a set of divorce papers awaiting him

I guess it depends on what sort of musical career you have, but from my own personal point of view, I wouldn't want to be married or partnered to a non-musician. Not only do a lot of partners not quite get to grips with the weird and sometimes unsociable working hours, but very few non-muso types really understand what the word 'practice' means. They think they are going to get a free recital, when, as we all well know, it really means the possibility of two hours on just ten or twelve bars of music. Rarely would a non-muso be able to cope with that sort of thing on a long term basis.

I'd agree - Society has changed a lot over recent years, so independence has become more important. Relationships are different from how they used to be.

As to being married/partnered/attached to musicians... it's likely to happen isn't it? For the kind of reasons you put, Amanda. There is shared interest, there is more likely to be better understanding of the need to work/practise and so on and how a musician's life 'works'..

I seem to have been 'linked' to people who are musical, interested in music, musicians and so on, and I can't say I would wish it any other way.
I don't rate myself as very competent (must make a note to practise more and better!) but I really enjoy all aspects of things musical. And music is such a fantastic way to broaden one's view on Life



think I am starting to ramble

I just wish I had the talent that Mr Furn has. I didn't (and in some way still don't) think I have a musical ability.

He was (and still is) a fantastic sax & clarinet player. But like all talented people he can pick up nearly any instrument and get a song out of it.

We are both engineers by profession as music rarely provides a secure income. We met through a mutual engineering friend. That was 27 years ago.

We have 2 wonderful children who were both encouraged to play piano and as I drove them to their lessons I would often think about how I would have loved the opportunity to learn music. They are also naturally talented.

The children are now all grown up and I suddenly realised that I was the only one stopping me from learning music.

Mr Furn bought me my first Flugelhorn for my birthday 18 months ago. He arranged lessons with one of the best teachers in our city (he has the connections ) and has been a wonderful support. It must heart his ears to hear me honk and snort on my beautiful flugel.

BUT.....I have done my first Brass level 1 practical exam and passed with high distinction.

Just goes to show that we are our main barriers.

My wife and I have very different tastes in music - or put better I like just about anything, she dislikes many things!

But with modern technology, I plug in my headphones and play and practice as much as I want to, without causing disturbance to the rest of the family

The only time we don't agree is over which live music to go to........


A

My hamster loves music! She sits really still in my hand if i sing to her, and when i play my flute she comes out of her little house and looks around, and tries to get as close to the music as possible!

When i met my partner she didn't play any instruments, convinced that she was never going to be musical. She's very supportive of me (and my dream to become a professional musician ... or at least a flute teacher ) as music has always been something she's wanted to do but not been given the opportunity. She even said that if i got to grade 8 she'd pay my exam fee...

So a few weeks ago we're passing the local shop and stop to look at the adverts in the window. One particular card says "Clarinet for sale". Katy thinks she might fancy playing clarinet, so we ring the number and the next day are the proud owners of a Buffet B12! She hasn't had a lesson yet but can already play the Grade one scales and one of the pieces. I'm also teaching her grade one theory. How's that for someone who would "never be musical"!

Mrs Guilmant never had the chance to learn an instrument at school, but she is sooooooo supportive. She's the best page turner/stop puller I've had at the organ. Sometimes, other organists are usless at that sort of stuff for other people, they tend to turn/pull when THEY would if they were playing, rather than when I want them to. She's had no formal musical training, but she can follow the pedal part, and when she's not assisting at the console, she's occupying our three small children (4, 2, 1) with something quiet at the back of the recital. Other very vital tasks she performs (relating to music!):

-proof reads recital programme notes (very imp)
-makes sure I look smart and clothes coordinate (also v imp as I am colour blind)
-deals with the admin side, including arranging practice times etc in churches
-helps to market and promote recordings
-helps wrap Easter eggs and Christmas presents for choristers in the choir

As our eldest is about to start piano lessons (I know that's another whole thread about ages they should start, but he keeps asking, I don't want to teach him, so it seems a shame to dampen his enthusiasm by saying he's not old enough) she is keen to learn with him, and even if it doesn't go far, she is very keen to understand how it all works.

Incidentally, I know of more professional musical couples that have NOT stayed together, than those who have, but that's a different story..........

Hi all that have replied to this thread

my self and my hubby and joined a band it was not intended for both of us to join i started playing percussion for them and now they want a flute at the same time they were looking for a new guitarist to replace the one leaving at the end of the year and hubby fits the place nicely. the old guitarists wife wanted to see him once in a while as he is in two bands and never home.

Last night while practising with hubby i decided on the fact that i shall not look to him during band time for help reasurance and at the same time he is not to bark out" wrong note" or scowl if i come in at the wrong time.

he really is a very nice person very supportive and helpful and has been playing guitar in all shapes and forms for the last twenty years

but he is not a flute player as i am not a guitar person ( i would not dream of trying to tell him how to play)

does anyone else play in the same band/ group as a partner ?

I knew a couple who played in a string quartet and there were some sticky moments when the divorce was going through and they were cheering up wedding couples with 'here comes the bride'!

help what have i let myself in for???? i really dont want this to be a problem and hopefuly by talking to hubby about this before this arises too much i have nipped it in the bud.

he has played in front of people before as part of a band where as i havent.

i am thinking at the moment that i am not good enough to play so plan is to improve loads so the band cant do without me! and hubby can stop his scrowling ha ha

If I ever get married, my wife will appreciate music, because I won't marry her if she doens't

I know a few of those myself, but generally speaking, muso-muso marriages do tend to be somewhat more harmonious (if you'll pardon the pun), than muso-non-muso.

I don't think working together (in the same band for example) is a particularly good idea. But that can also apply to many careers, not just music.

Yes. I have three cats: Whitney (giant tomcat,) Mr P**pyhead, and Pita. The boys run far and fast when they see me grab the violin case. Pita glares. If I sit down to play, she waits til scales are finished then stand up against my back and starts smacking me in the head. If I don't stop to cuddle her she starts biting my left arm. I usually can't continue because I am laughing too hard at that point. She also meows at a perfect 440 A, and won't shut up when I am tuning. Most passive aggressive cat in the world, but she is 13 and unamused by the violin.

On topic:

My girlfriend played the guitar for a number of years, but I never heard her play. She is a huge opera fan, I think owns every recording of classical music ever made, and even likes counter-tenors! We always have classical music on the stereo, although I listen to jazz, blues, and reggae at work and in my car. She knows far more about classical music than me, since my tastes are fairly pedestrian and we never listened to classical in my house growing up. (I was forced to listen to 8 tracks of country-western music, which qualifies as child abuse in 30 of 50 States in the USA I think.) I am learning a lot about classical music from her, and my teacher (a baroque violinist who plays in DC with the Violins of Lafayette.)

hi thank you all for replying to the thread i and hubby are getting along band wise fine now i also work in the same building and some might thin k this ###### but its ok cos we are not on the same floor and our roles dont meet much.

in a way i think it works better to be in the same band that way there is no moaning on either side on who gets to practise more in the house with each band. and i cant moan if hubby is out with the band playing as i am there too

as it wasnt intended as such i think we just have to see where it goes

I have a guitar-playing OH which is great. Over the years most our rats have been keen on his playing too and when they are having a run while he's strumming away, they often climb up onto his shoulder to have a listen (they may be singing along too, but I don't have a bat-detector to check that frequency!).