[SIZE=1][SIZE=1][SIZE=1]Hey all
I had a clarinet lesson the other day and my teacher was telling me about this student of his who about 4 days before she was due to take her grade 2 exam phoned him up saying 'Help i washed my clarinet in washing up liquid and it's making a gurgelling soung...what should I do???'
Yes this is actually true!!! lol

Do you have any funny stories???
Alex
xxxx

i havent got any funny stories apart form this one.well its not funny really but ill tell you anyway.

a year 7 flute player wanted a go of my clarinet so i gave it her and she held it the wrong way, then said how do get diff notes, i said if you hold it with the keys in front of you then you'd have holes to uncover and cover!

well it amused me that day!

I played for a couple of weeks when I first started with the reed against my top lip, coz thats how the man in the shop said how to put it together! When I went to my first clarinet lesson and was confused as to why my teacher was telling me to play the other way! I managed to get an octave out of it that way, and get over the break with it like that, which is the strange thing!

Not strange at all - it's in some ways easier to play upside down, but it becomes impossible to go above high C

There was one story I heard on holiday, it's quite long but never mind. Here goes

There was a girl who was about 7 or 8 going into he grade 1 clarinet exam. She sat down and started to play her piece. It just so happened that the piece didn't sound anything like it was meant to, and the composer of the piece was her examiner. So the examiner said to this girl, "Do you want me o play that piece to you, because I actually composed it, and then you tell me what is different about it." So the examiner sat down and played this piece, and then the girl sat back down. So he said, "Now what was the diffeence with that to yours?" and the little girl replied, "Please sir, the seats warmer!"

Now they moan about teachers, maybe the studdents aren't as good as they used to be!

Actually, you talk about playing it on your top lip, but there was this boy at my school, and he used to put the reed straight onto his bottom front teeth! And then he ondered why he needed a new reed every two weeks!

My funny story - well it made me laugh at the time
There I was assembling my clarinet to play with my Chamber Orchestra group, everyone else was ready (their instruments are easier and quicker to put together !) . They all start playing, fortunately at the moment of my grand entry so was I - deep breath - off we go. WHAT'S GOING ON, NO SOUND, JUST A RASPING, GURGLING MESS. Everyone turns around, "sorry", I say, "slight technical problem". They all carry on without me. I took my clarinet to bits, and then burst out laughing - they all turn around again - I go red, but can't stop laughing ! Another reed had somehow managed to break loose of its box and had wedged itself up the mouthpiece, so of course no sound would pass. I spent a few minutes forcing it out and then tried to continue with the music seriously, but I couldn't stop laughing, so I had to excuse myself and go out of the room, walk around, drink a glass of water, then I went back in and started again. After the session, my fellow musicians asked me what had happened - when I told them they too had a good laugh !

Someone at my local orchestra did almost the same thing. When she bought her new clarinet she found that there was very little space fro reeds, grease etc. So she decided to store her pull throught in the bell of her clarinet. It came to playing one night and her clarinet wouldn't play below a low G. She tried and tried to get this clarinet to work until the conductor, who is a woodwind tutor asked to look at it. As soon as she had looked up the clarinet she found... Guess what?... The pull through rolled into a ball between the bell and the lower joint as she had forgotten to take it out!

QUOTE (purple dolphin @ Sep 27 2004, 08:25 PM)

So she decided to store her pull throught in the bell of her clarinet.

Yeah I did that! glad it's not just me! I just blew hard to get a low E and it came out!

I play the Alto Saxophone, and one day I was unable to find my reeds, as they are in a 4 reed case they are not hard to find usually, and they weren't in my case. I eventually got a new reed and then when I was practicing I must of turned the Saxophone upside down and out fell the reed case, it had lodged in the end of the Saxophone.

1. Our conductor was trying to get the 1st oboe to come in forte with her entry and said "It's forte! It's loud! It's strong! It's Weetabix!"

2. Our conductor was trying to get trumpets to play in octaves - "When you get home, ask the cat what an octave is".

Ohhhh is that what your screen name's about!

i remember a time where i played for a sports day at a school in band, and one of the flute players who was playing piccolo couldnt find their piccolo, someone had hidden it in one of the alto sax's bells...

Yep!!

ROFL!!

yup... the saxophonist didnt even realise! it was until another saxophonist who complained about this persons tonal quality did anyone realise...boy the flautist wasnt impressed...went crazy on the band! top C on a piccolo hurts!

Mwah ha haaaaa playing top c on a pic is fuuuuun

i get revenge by playing a low B flat VERY loudly down their ear by suprise (you'd be suprised how many people are unsuspecting of that )

What does a low note do to someone?

deafens them (hopfully) and gives them a damn good fright

Fair enough See flute doesn't have that advantage. Unless theres anyone who is terrified by middle C. I doubt it though

yeah but flute can go into a sky high range and deafen anyone...Piccolo is even worse!!!! so thats an advantage there

Yeah... piccolo is fun

its painful to the ears at times though! contrabassoon <3

Saw this (below) quote in a joke shop and it reminded us of a funny thing that happened to VN.

Life is a constant struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstyle you like!

Fancy worrying yourself to death about your hairstyle, make-up, what to wear for exams / parties, what so and so think about you, etc - the list goes on - when there are far more TRULY important things in LIFE!

Well, VN and I were both concerned about her aurals exam. She doesn't sing out loud as she's so shy so she squeaks instead. Thus it's not easy for her to sing in tune! We worried and then later prayed about the aurals part of her violin exam and even borrowed a CD to practise singing with me at the last minute literally just be4 the exam. But guess what???

On the day of her exam, she had tonsils!

that always happens to me, although the first time I spent ages looking for my reeds and was getting more and more frustrated so I went out and bought some more, got home and realised the reeds were in my sax all along.

It only happened to me the once, but whenever I was missing reeds from then on I always checked their first.

i did that with bassoon a couple of times, although, it wasnt so much me as it was another band member playing a trick on me, first time the reed was taken out of the case and shoved underneath a pad, the second time someone shoved it into one of the joints and fell to the bottom man oh man was i furious! especially since my bassoon reeds cost about £11 per reed

YAY!! I HAVE A FUNNY STORY! however - my story is most likely to be only funny to me...here goes anyhoo!

to start my story off - i've only just taken up flute, thus, I've had ONE, yes, ONE flute lesson, however I like to think, as I can read basic music I'm ok at sight-playing/singing/whatever! ANYWAY (sorry!)

So today, my friend gives me a call, we chat etc, he is obsessed with madonna, so I thought, "try out my flutey-tooty skills sight reading...

turn the page of my definitive broadway collection to "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" After playing I smile, and wait for a nice reply of possibly "aw, how sweet"....I wait in anticipation..and this is the reply I had pleasure in hearing...

"Laura, you sound like a child who is learning to read.. a......c-a-t.......s-a-t....on........a......m-a-t......."

Shall I give up now?! haha...only joking, but I was like nice! But I laughed so its okay!!!

This isn't exactly funny, although I can see the funny side now...

I was playing the first movement (allegro) of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto for my grade 8 clarinet exam. It was going really well until the first page turn. As I turned the page of the book, the music stand collapsed in the middle as one of the screws had worked its way loose. The music ended up down by my knees - then fell off the stand altogether! I only had a bar or two to sort it all out, and my accompanist had to wait for me. I'm not sure if the mishap was reflected in my mark - I think I got 24 for that piece, and was expecting a little more, but I suppose it's not too bad considering!

About a week before my last clarinet exam, I was doing some sight reading practice. I'm usually pretty good at sight reading, but this time I was awful; hardly any of the right notes were coming out, tone was pretty abysmal. Then I looked down to find the register key hanging off! I panicked quite a bit before I realised...

Hmmm,

i once had a pony called Spectrum, he didn't run very fast at all, he was only 16 hands tall, (16K) I decided to play my sax to him to cheer him up. Imagine my suprise when it became evident Spectrum really enjoyed impromptue jazz!

well time went on and we enjoyed listening and playing and Spectrum began to develop his dancing skills to a marvel mouse extent.

One day I went to play to him, and he wasn't in his field, I looked all over for him and became quite distressed.

Imagine my suprise when he crept up on me with a 7 piece jazz band and began to play the trombone.

I lept out of my skin, the devious tinker had been taking lessons and had not only cracked his embroucher but also sorted the problem of having no fingers and being jointed the wrong way...

well as you might think these skills kept him out of the glue factory for years, he set up a pony school, teaches the trombone, has weekends of lessons with the SAS and perfecting their creepy- uppy - skills and has had a really full life.

Now hes even making my cat happy as cat food, and i think the other day I saw wilf (my cat) listening wistfully to a jazz cd.....

Josax,

What do you take us for? Do you think we're all morons on this forum?

You know very well that there is no 'e' in 'impromtu'!


There's something else that doesn't seem quite right about your post, but I can't put my finger on it right now.

As soon as our dog gets back from his evening class, I'll get him to read it as well.

Steve

PS I would ask the cat, but ever since she finished her OU degree in Philosophy, she's been unbearable!

Really, your dog at evening class...

I hope he going to join the construction industry because we are short of some good roof ers!!!