Sorry if this sounds like I'm just having a moan or a whinge.

I came back from orchestra tonight and wondered what the point of me doing music was. I've applied to study it at university, but every time I go to orchestra or indeed have a lesson i either feel fed up that I can't play the music properly or just angry that I'm not good enough to play things well or do certain things despite the fact that i practice them for ages, a specific example being fast passages with lots of semiquavers in. No matter how much I practice or go over it I never quite master it, and especially in orchestra I just end up looking like a complete fool because I'm always the one getting it wrong, and it's ridiculously frustrating.
This has been going on for a while anyway and I do enjoy music and playing the viola, I just want to stop being/feeling so useless at it!

Anyway rant over now, sorry about that.
Jess

Don't be so hard on yourself - nobody's perfect and I'm sure you are much better than you think you are!! Keep practising but more importantly keep enjoying your music.

Good luck with your studies

Hi Jess

We all have feelings like this at some time. I've often wanted to give up the piano when practice goes wrong. In cases like that, I go off and do something else for half hour or so. Sometimes the more you practice, the worse it gets.

I won't ever give up though, as I have a strong love of the piano and I'm sure you do for your instrument. It probably seems worse than it is anyway, especially if you are tired or have had a long day. Are you always the only one getting it wrong? I'm sure others will be too. Try not to compare yourself to others. When I first started lessons, I wanted to be like my tutor, who's been in music for over fifty years!!!
I'm a lot more realistic about it now, and I play to my standard.

Relax about your music..I'm sure you'll be fine.

Oh no - fast passages with semiquavers - I'm a slow reader and they make me go dizzy! But I don't think you're on your own here as this is a standard difficulty to overcome. Can your teacher not identify the problem and work on it with you? It may just be something simple like you need a lighter touch when playing them, make sure your wrist and fingers are totally free and relaxed and not glued to the spot with fear! If you play each note with anxious deliberation you'll never do it - just imagine your fingers are little magic butterflies and they'll soon flutter through the notes (Says me!!).

And maybe your practise technique is lacking something? You could try taking a 'running jump' at a tricky passage and don't bother how many notes you get wrong but just do an approximation at the right speed and then identify one part which is giving you grief and then the next part and so on. But above all have confidence and tell yourself you can do it and it's fun. Seriously - it will come right but maybe your anxiety is creating a block especially as you've applied to university and that may be weighing on you shoulders. If you tell yourself you can't do it you won't do it.

Anyway good luck and keep telling yourself that your fingers and magic butterflies which just love semiquavers!

Tweets,

Goldfinch

Say this to yourself "I won't go to Music College as I don't want to study music after all." Now how does that feel? Are you disappointed or relieved? Disappointed I hope. In other words you are just experiencing how all musicians feel when they can't quickly master something. Be kind to yourself and do the S L O W practise first. S L O W practise brings quicker results - I Promise! Be patient and you will achieve - also ask your teacher for some help in this area. GOOD LUCK!!