You've got a lot of good advice and ideas in the various posts on this thread Nat.

It was good to meet you on Saturday - and listen to you at work. You were great accompanying me in the Mozart. I'd definitely work with you again as an accompanist.

Would definitely recommend finishing your degree, then maybe take some time to sit back and relax - after all your efforts, I think you'll deserve that.

I wish you all the best for all you do in the future.

A freind of mine went to uni in Glasgow to do music and after 2nd year he dropped out cos he realised he was wasting his time and the only thing you can really do with a mucis degree is teach and thats not what he wanted to do. He is now doing engineering, he is very happy and knows that there are lots of jobs out there - a shortage of graduate engineers infact as we are having to employ people from the far east and the U.S. But then again, I live in the oil capital of Europe to I guess you might not be aware of the great shortage?
Engineering would be alot more fun I think. My dad travels all over the place, so far this year he has been to Cairo, Paris, Hanover, Houston, London and Oslo. Much more travelling than I'll ever do with my music unless I become some famous virtuoso or something which is highly unlikely, but sadly, its the only thing I'm good at and later on I'm planning on going back to do something medical as a mature student.

What I'm getting at Scaramouche is, that you have realised that you have lost enthusiasm early enough that you could still be able to transfer to a different course. If you aren't that excited about music just now, then think about what you'll feel like in ten years time... Thats all you will be doing.

*runs for cover*

Actually, Malone, there's lots you can do with a music degree or any other degree for that matter. Teaching is one option, but not the only one.
For example, I know music graduates whose subsequent careers include being an accountant, a logistics manager for a large manufacturing company, a vicar and a hotelier.
The accountant has certainly worked in a number of locations throughout Europe, and I'd be surprised if the logistics manager hasn't seen a fair few places in the context of his work.
OK, so these people aren't using their music professionally, or only semi-professionally, but they still have it as a relaxation, and the very fact that they have a degree has stood them in good stead, regardless of the subject of it.

Scaramouche, don't worry about what you'll do after your degree, just focus on getting that degree. And if that leads you into music teaching, well and good. If you decide that the classroom is not for you and you want to work as an instrumental teacher, that's fine too. And it's also OK if you finish the degree and want to do something completely different.

Yes, I would guess that the people who go from their degrees directly to work in that field are probably on the whole a minority for arts degrees.

I felt exactly the same way during my music degree - and struggled thru the final year - as it seemed a shame not to get a degree out of it. However, I'd really lost the will/desire/interest in music, and went into a non-music related job (er...RAF as a pilot!). However, 16 years years later, I've found the motivation and desire, and so am going to music college in Sept.

My question is, why does doing a Music degree seem to affect so many of us like this? Perhaps one answer is that we generally read music because we love it. I can't see anyone reading Engineering because they 'love it'. Therefore, as we struggle with the academic demands of analysis and all the stuff that tends to depress you - we (temporarily) lose our love of the subject, which is much worse for us?

I don't know. It's just interesting that it happens to SO many of us.

Scaramouche - can't really cheer you up - I do agree that finishing the degree is vital - it's only a year(!), and as everyone has said - you can do LOTS with a music degree - essentially anything you want (er...except medicine/rocket science etc). I don't think that leaving the profession for a while is a bad thing - taking a gap year perhaps, and spend some time NOT having to think about music, and see if it clears your head?

I hope you have a good summer, and feel better about it all soon.

Bing

absolutely, totally correct.
My (non-music) degree only started me out in Life, yes I did use it to start with but not for very long and I went through a variety of other things, from lorry driving to teaching to catering...
An academic year isn't even that long, S. Go for it and enjoy it, then decide ....

Incidentally, my music degree and the things it taught me both through the curriculum and related extra-curricular activities, brought me so many opportunities that I wouldn't have had if I'd done a different course. You gain so many transferrable skills with a music degree that you are pretty employable afterwards. I know it's one of the things that got me my training place for midwifery.

Lots of good advice here that I won't repeat. Just to say that time is on your side if you want to have a break. There's a piece on SoundJunction about a professional musician who took a break here - the situation may be different from yours, but I think the feelings are very similar.
True you only have one year left of your degree, and it might be better to just push on and finish it, but maybe you would enjoy that last year a lot more if you were able to approach it with a clear head after a period of doing other things and sorting yourself out?
Hope you feel better after your holiday..

Hi Scaramouche,

Was chatting about something similar with a friend today...in my music degree most of us went through phases of hating it and of not really playing. I didn't touch the piano for most of my degree for this reason and sang in choirs and started conducting instead (hence doing piano diplomas 6 years after graduation!) It seems to be a quite normal reaction to studying something about which you are passionate. As has been said previously it can kill off the joy.

I found that getting the head down and getting through my finals and then taking a year (or two in my case) to earn a bit of money and think about what I wanted to do made all the difference. Friends from college now have lots of different jobs, civil servants, accountants, midwives, trainee doctors, you name it...and lots of us work in music too. Talk to your tutors, I'm sure they will be able to help as they will know the details of your situation.

Hope you are feeling a little better...I'm sure you will come through your finals with flying colours, but enjoy your break as much as possible in the meantime.

Thanks for all the latest replies. I took my instruments away with me and didn't touch them for two weeks..lets hope I play them soon .

I'm just posting to say that I hadn't read the thread until now because I'd just gone away when you started it.

I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad. It's not all that unusual, or surprising, given the enormous part of your life you've given to music over the last few years. Teaching is a demanding job, and music teaching particularly so. And, despite the fact that we seem to be on a treadmill during term time, it is difficult to switch off when we are not.

I think that turning something we love into a job, which is what happens when you study and/or teach music, always has the potential of making it seem like a chore when we feel we should be enjoying it. I have felt quite a lot of the things you are expressing, Scaramouche, and I also know what it's like when something that has obsessed you for a while suddenly loses its appeal; it has happened to me in the past.

You've been given lots of suggestions, and I hope that some of them will be right for you. I'm not going to add to them, except to say take each day as it comes for now, and do what seems best for you at the moment. This may well change from day to day, and some days will undoubtably be better or worse than others.

And, if you move away from music for a while, then so be it. If it is the right area for you to be in, it will rediscover you, or you will rediscover it.

All the very best.

I had a deep deep blip on my grade 5, which lasted well over a year, my enthusiasm was at an all time low, even though I used to love piano. Now that the blip is over I am back to music and am loving it more than ever, perhaps that is what is happening to you.

I'm sorry, but I haven't read absolutely all the replies, so forgive me if I repeat anything that's already been said!

First of all - forums are great when you're stressed out! I've been there! I'm quite sure being here doesn't mean you're lacking in real friends - the forums can be a pleasant opt-out for a while; sometimes the constant 'helpful' advice of those around you can be as suffocating as the problem. You can read here at times of your own choice, when no one's putting any direct pressure on you.

So here I go now putting on the pressure too...(but you can switch me off if you like! )
Finish the degree.
You don't have to go mad - just get through it. I deferred the last year of my degree, and all I really did was prolong the agony; it still hangs over you, and you're just adding another year of feeling like you've no direction. Mine wasn't music. it was English. I used to love Thomas Hardy and D.H. Lawrence, but I got to the stage of never wanting to read anything by either of them again. Maybe you could cut down on some of the other things you're doing until you've finished it? And then maybe you'd enjoy those things again afterwards?

As for stress - the biggest stressor of all is indecision! All your options press in on you and you can't see the wood for the trees. Sometimes, once you've made a decision, for better or worse, things start looking better - because at least you can see the path ahead and you start to lose that drowning feeling.

Whatever you do - all the best with it!

Thanks, I'll finish the degree, even if it is with a disastrous mark. I'm having to re-think the modules I am taking too but never mind. I still feel completely at a loss but at least I have made at least one decision .

Unless it's the headlight of the oncoming train you can see........... sorry!

take it by steps Scaramouche...
I am sure that is the right thing to do to start with - finish your degree.
It's probably not nearly so important that you are re-thinking the modules.

Get that done, then see how things are. Go from there.
Best of luck.

That must take a load off your mind. I agree with the others - putting it off is only prolonging the agony. Get it over with and then maybe do a post grad in something you really want to do. At least you'll have a degree, and some occupations like that, but don't care what subject it is in. All the best, whatever you decide.



Or a taxman with a torch...

It's a good start

Not really a good start given I'm not excited about going back or anything. Loads of other people can't wait and I couldn't give a toss.

It's really NOT that unusual. I dreaded going back for my 4th year - I didn't think I was going to be able to cope with the workload, had got pretty sick of many aspects of my subject... just generally thought it was going to be awful. And bits of it were, but I made it out the other side. Don't expect yourself to be jumping with excitement about your subject 100% of the time. Sooner or later we all go through "oh I HATE this" times. It's called being human you've put your heart and soul into it for 2 years of uni and 2 years of A Levels, you worked your butt off getting to the required standard, etc etc... it's really NOT surprising or unusual that you're feeling burned out, so please don't go beating yourself up about it.

The only way I got through my last year of uni was by continually telling myself "just get it over and done with" and by doing as much stuff as I could that was totally unrelated to my subject to keep me vaguely sane. If something that you don't have to do is getting on your nerves or people are trying to guilt trip you into taking things on, just don't. Do stuff that you want to do and stuff that is fun for you. If it's possible to swing a module or two that are relatively light or even from outside the music department, that can help too. (I did a beginners' Croatian module in my 4th year, close enough to my subject to be allowed by the department but by the standards of other modules, really light - even though I was effectively taking on a new language, having something quite different to do was a real lifesaver.) Take up line dancing or jujitsu or knitting or hang gliding something else equally random that takes your fancy - anything that gets you out of the "argh I hate this stupid subject" bubble and also lets it be OK that you're rubbish again is a relief

I knew lots of people in their final year of uni who to a greater or lesser extent were down on their subjects: "I just want to get this degree so I can do something completely different" "I just want to pass, sod 2-1s and 1sts" "I want to go and work in Sainbury's stacking shelves, this is too much like hard work". It's normal, it's human. Don't knock yourself over the head with guilt about it or think that it must mean you're not really studying the right thing. It just means you don't have superhero powers which enable you to work on full tilt for several years and do teaching etc and still be full of the joys of spring

DO remember that you're not alone, not the first and not the last to feel this way about your course. *hug*

My daughter really staggered and limped her way to the end of her degree. We were going to be greatly relieved if she only passed, the way she was feeling!! She is by no means an academic, and she found it really really hard. However, last year she not only passed but got a 2:2. We were all over the moon, and I'm sure she's far more proud of it than some of her peers who got 2:1s and 1sts, because she and we knew just how much it took to stay the course!! She felt like dropping out. We could only watch and support when necessary, but she did it, and she feels so happy she did. She had her certificate framed and has it on her wall in pride of place now!

And what is she doing with her linguistics and typography degree??? Well, she's working in a bar in Reading, having a whale of a time!!! I think she's revelling in the 'I'm never going to read another book again or do a ****ing essay again in my life!' sort of feeling.

So hang on in there. You have most probably made the best decision (you won't ever know, unless you could live your life twice and compare and contrast!), and you'll be so pleased and relieved next year when you've done it against the odds. And the numbers won't matter (3rd, 2:2, etc).

All the best.

After weeks of really not knowing what to do, I've decided this afternoon that I am going to apply for the RNCM and Manchester Metropolitan joint course in secondary classroom and instrumental teaching. I'm fully expecting to get rejected given that the auditions and interviews are not that far away and I've not played sax properly since my recital in May ( ) and they do expect a high standard of performance LOL. However, now, I've thought I might as well give it a go, if I don't get in, then no matter, I'll take a year out and do various random things. If I do get in, then maybe, just maybe, it'll give me some belief that I am good enough to do it.

No doubt I will change my mind tomorrow evening and I'll be back to square one as per darn usual, but for now, that's the erm 'plan'.

Good luck. It sounds like a fantastic course.

Sounds good! Any decision is better than nothing

I think that sounds very positive! All the very best for the auditions - do let us know how you get on.

Well done, Scaramouche. Good thinking - that way you are trying to make things happen, not letting them happen to you.
Don't assume you won't get in.... good luck to you, just go for it! Lots and lots to gain. Get yourself away from the downside of Life - if you know why you got there you can tackle it

yes, do keep us in the picture, please

Sounds good - I wish you all the best.

All the best Scaramouche! Stop assuming you won't get in ...

Best of luck, Nat - go for it!!!

I'm not going to get in though am I? Everyone else will have been preparing for ages, they'll be really really good on their instruments, and I'll just stroll in having not played in months .

Strolling in is GOOD. Your nonchalance will freak out all the other candidates!

Cyrilla has a point hehe

Good luck, Nat. Even out of practice you're a fine musician, so go for it.

just go for it- stop seeking the negative

But you're really good too . I always think that when going for a job interview or such, everyone else will have been preparing loads, will be lots more interesting than I am etc. The truth is most people are fundamentally quite lazy so they've probably not been preparing that much: they'd all rather be in the pub. Form filling in and that sort of other preparation stuff tends to be quite boring and people only do it at the last minute when they have to. You'll have much more teaching experience behind you than probably anyone else applying for the course (you've done the job that the course is preparing you for!), which demonstrates enthusiasm and ability. You may not have done as much playing as you like recently; but you've done enough to get as good as you are now, and it's how good you are that counts, not how much you've practised for the audition .

How long have you got to prepare for it now you've decided to go for it?

I only know of one other person with their interview and audition, November and December respectively. So not long really.

No, but it's not next week either! So start thinking positive and give it your best shot!
Good luck!

It seems like I was wrong again. I got in according to a letter I've not seen .

Well done!! So you're going to be local quite soon!

I've not read all of the thread but did see it in the early part. I wish you the very best of luck!

Congratulations! That's great news...and you should take it as a huge boost to your confidence too!!!

Yes, well done!!

(my sources at the Met tell me it was your singing which swung it!! WOO!!!)

That's great news - very well done!

(we didn't tell you so, of course ? )

Congrats

Well done!

Well done, and all the best for your future xx

Well done and good luck

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told you strolling in would be the thing to do .

Seriously - brilliant news and VERY well done!

Congratulations!

Keep us updated on the course, won't you?!

Wonderful news, Nat. Well done.

well done .... and good luck