A guy called me in march wanting to pay for a terms lessons (12 in total) for his mother as a birthday present. Lessons commenced after the easter holidays - mid april time. Since then the lady has only taken six of the twelve lessons as she is constantly cancelling or going on holiday ( 4 seperate weeks of holidays!)

The lady called me last week asking for a refund on the other 6 lessons as i could not accomodate her at the times she specified in the summer holiday period (i am teaching over 3 mornings each week, no evenings in order to spend time with my family) i explained that this wasnt really an option and the lessons should be taken seeing as they have been paid for in advance and that i was prepared to carry them across into september ( i dont really wish to do this as i chose to cut down my private teaching next term due to the large volume of peri lessons i have in term time as from september). Rather abruptly the lady ended the phone call as she felt i should give up one of my students to fit her in at a time that suits her.

I am becoming very frustrated with this person as normally, if a student cancels so regularly i start charging them but feel in a catch 22 situation as lessons pre-paid.

Help!

wow! This is really unfair on yourself. The ''mature'' student should realize that you have both a working life and a personal life too, and you cannot work around one particular person! I wouldn't let the lady push you. If you give in, I reckon it will just keep happening, and then you wont want to teach her anyways! Yes the lessons have been paid for, but all because there is advance on the payment to you, that doesn't give the lady a right to demand when the lessons take place. Especially as the student has cancelled lessons before, for her own personal life.

I would keep to your gunns on this one! Your the teacher, and you decide when you are available to teach. If the student doesn't like that, then they will have to go and find someone else!

Agreed. Don't give a refund! As she constantly cancels lessons, it's not a case of you not being accomodating. It's a case of her wanting you to be available when it suits her only.

I'd probably say that all the lessons she's cancelled have been paid for already, so you don't owe her any moeny, or, in fact, any more lessons. You've been kind enough to offer 6 lessons continuing into September, and if she doesn't want to take them up, that's up to her.

Suggesting you give up another student to fit her in is ridiculous! Don't pander to her. Stick to your offer, and let her decide whether she wants to arrange the lessons or not, as a time convenient to both of you. If she doesn't, you don't owe her a thing.

It's a bit odd that she wouldn't want to take the remaining lessons. Did she only ever plan to come to you for 12 lessons? If so, what was the point anyway? Learning an instrument takes a bit more time than learning to drive (and even that took me 20 lessons lol!)

What about saying you don't give refunds but if she really can't make any of the times you can offer her, "you're willing to let her transfer the balance of the lessons to a friend or other family member". You might even get a permanent and more enthusiastic new pupil out of it....

The original agreement was for a term's lessons. You were available throughout the term and she chose not to be. You have generously offered to teach her again in September. I very much doubt whether you will hear from this lady again. Definitely no refund!
Don't get involved with any more of her family members - run away!

Indeed. I have done that before, but only because the man's wife expressed an interest in taking up piano again, so he was certain it was something she wanted to do. It wasn't booked in a block though. He just puts the money in her purse every week. I was a bit worried that it didn't give her the opportunity to choose another teacher over me, but she's been coming for 6 months now and we get on great!

The only times I have taken people on who have had some lessons paid for for birthdays or Christmas, they have stayed on and done well. One lady is about to take grade 6. A man is going well with his theory, and quite well practically too, but he has no confidence to sing in public - yet. He was in the sea in the Maldives when the Boxing Day tsunami hit and lost his confidence. But he loves his lessons, and his wife keeps buying him more for birthdays, Christmas and any excuse at all. She reckons it's helping his confidence. I hope so. He does get involved with student concerts in other ways - prints my tickets, programmes, etc. Maybe at some point he'll sing for us.

Okey dokey. You're definately off the hook here. Lets say her present was ....... a spa treatment, or tickets to the theatre, ok? These would be prepaid - and she would not get any refund if she chose not to use them. Agree?
You have been flexible, bend no further.

Surely the point is that it's not directly to do with the woman in the first place. It was her SON who paid for the original "present" so any discussion you have should be with him. It doesn't speak well of the mother-son relationship if she is trying to "pawn" part of his present to her.

I agree with many of the above posters - if there's a learning opportunity for you here, it would be not to take on "proxy"-type arrangements like this. The desire to learn has to come from the actual pupil him/herself. Otherwise it smacks of "Piano lessons are for life and not just for Christmas" scenario!

LR

Well said.

This is a nice reversal of the usual "I want little Johnny to have piano lessons" parent- child thing!

i personally think she probably didnt really want the lessons and hopes that i will say " yeah, go on heres your money back then.........." but even if i did refund the lessons ( and i have no intention of doing so) i would surely refund her son?

I will be quite frank when she phones me (after yet ANOTHER holiday) and will keep you posted....

thanks for replies.

Stand firm with this woman! (As I'm sure you have every intention of doing!)

I agree with all that has been posted, as usual on this forum good advice has been despatched quickly. However, I would't completely write off the "present" idea, as long as you ascertain that the recipient would actually welcome the gift, and crucially that if someone purchases lessons for someone else up front, then they are still liable to pay for the lessons, even if the recipient does not attend.

Also, one of the nicest ways I've gained a pupil is through an auction of promises. I still have the pupil, and no, only the first three lessons formed the "promise"!

Over the years I have only ever had 3 enquiries like this. The first paid for 4 lessons upfront as a present, forgot to leave me a contact number, and the wife never rang. The second was a great success. The third wanted to book 12 lessons, but from experience no.1 I only let him book 4. Wife turned up for the first lesson and I have never seen her again - it was quite obvious it wasn't something she wanted to do! In future I would not take on these pupils without speaking to, and meeting, them first.

Adults don't want to feel that they 'have' to do something - it has to come from them. As someone else said it's the parent-child thing rearing its ugly head in adulthood.

But, as the lessons were bought as a present I wouldn't give a refund. The ball is in her court as to whether or not she uses the present.

I definitely think that you should just sit on the money until the woman rings and arranges other lessons.

I am not keen on "lessons as a present" ideas, although I know that they can work out well (my husband gave his brother some guitar lessons for a birthday present, with the proper agreement that they could be arranged to suit, and mutually convenient with the teacher and it's rekindled my brother-in-law's interest in his guitar).

However, I was approached and agreed to give 6 lessons to a child for a Christmas present from her grandmother. I explained that actually I did not have any spaces, but I gave the lessons on Saturday morning which I did not at the time use for teaching. At the end of the "course" there was so much protestation from parents about how child enjoyed lessons, etc etc that I felt obliged to continue - and as a result she jumped my waiting list. I felt very cross about this, but I was rather cornered because the grandmother was a good friend of one of my adult pupils. From this experience I have to say that I would not do this again. I know that I should have stood up to the parents, and I would do so now. Experience teacheth fools!!

Tell her her last cheque bounced! Mwahaha. No but seriously, don't let her bully you and give her your reasons.

I think it was a lovely idea. I know my parents would love to have had lessons and if they were given the opportunity now would jump at the chance.

I've taught about 3 adults now in the same scenario, 2 enjoyed it but financially couldn't continue, one is still playing and enjoying it. In fact, thinking back I was given a piano and lessons for my 11th birthday, what's wrong with it? It costs money and isn't something to be taken for granted, everyone here who has learnt an instrument should be very grateful that they have had the oportunity.

I'm sure the son had put some thought in to the gift - I don't see what is wrong with it, giving the gift of music etc. He didn't sign her up for life for 12 lessons, enough to try it and then decide if she likes it.

As for the money though, keep it! Very ungrateful and ignorant of your pressures and work load to ask for it back.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, I hope this hasn't put you or anyone else off.

Likewise if he had bought her a gift voucher for a shop, she can't use some of it then ask the shop to stump up the balance. Don't you just LOVE these kind of pupils!

Yes - I believe the most a shop would ever do is give change in vouchers. I know in the bookshop where I used to work that was the usual thing to do with book tokens, and I'm not sure we were obliged to do so, or maybe it was beneath a certain amount (we always did, but I think maybe you didn't have to. And certainly if the change was less than a pound you don't have to I'm sure)