OK, call me old fashioned.... but I think the standard of driver today is generally poor OR I must have been in a coma when the government changed the rules of the road.
A selection of my latest examples... ok?
Give way = drive on, at a snail's pace, forcing the free flowing traffic on the main road to break heavily - then continue on merrily at 20 mph. This works really well at a split junction or a crossroads.
National speed limit = maximum 40 mph here folks - the longer the queue behind you the better, and the longer you can hold the queue gets you bonus points too!
Indicators = eh??????
Roundabouts = don't care what I do so long as I get off where I want to
Pedestrian crossings = aren't those stripey decorations pretty - what's that woman with the pram looking at me like that for?
Dual carrigeways = this is as much fun as bumper cars folks (indicators?)
Parking bays = Ah sure, just use as many spaces as you like, crooked parking is fashionable, and a trophy score down the next vehicle will do nicely too.
Disabled Parking Bays = Free parking!!!!!!! And not far to walk my perfectly healthy b**ks**e into the offlicence.
Seatbelts and Child Car restraints = they are for nerds. My two year old can get a much better view of the ditch when I crash - which won't be my fault of course.
Mobile phones = I trained with the russian circus in how to steer my car blindfolded, whilest reciting poetry and with just my pinky finger on the wheel! IIIII can multitask!
So a few of what appear to be the modern rules of the road here.
Feel free to add on your own.