Fortunately, bobifier managed to run away from this somewhat dangerous new health spa, leaving Ivor utterly confused about what else he was required to do...

~Wobby~

Unfortunately Ivor's hose was so big he tripped over and banged his head

Fortunately DC was on hand with the first aid kit and plentiful supplies of TLC..

Unfortunately, Ivor became an amnesiac who though he was an alien, and became scared of all contact with humans!

~Wobby~

Fortunately DC remembered the amnesia cure from the last time this happened.....

Unfortunately, this version of amnesia happened to be contagious, so DC forgot the cure just after she remembered it!

~Wobby~

Fortunately Ivor managed to unravel his big hose all by himself.

Unfortunately he pulled too hard and it broke (ouch! )

*Recycled - very clever! *

Unfortunately this was a break too far and there was nothing that DC could do......

Fortunatelly she was able to recycle the bit that had come off and was able to provide Ivor with a very unusual drinking straw!

*On form this morning, D *


Unfortunately the modified straw left him with a strange rubbery after-taste whenever he used it...

(Early night last night. )

Fortunately DC was able to hold her breath while she kissed him.

Unfortunately she started to suffocate...

Fortunately her guardian angel spotted this and lifted her into a higher plane

Unfortunately she actually wanted to get down again.

Fortunately her guardian angel was a bit absent-minded and dropped her when she went for her dinner

Unfortunately she dropped her ONTO her dinner.

Fortunately Ivor was able to suck all the food off her with his new-found drinking straw.

Unfortunately it still tasted rubbery and made Ivor vomit all the food back over DC!

Fortunately DC had a certain fetish for that type of thing...

Unfortunately Ivor didn't and made a hasty exit.......

Fortunately DC sang such a sweet song that he crept back to listen

**Talking about me again!!!**

Unfortunately, he went to sit on the chair, missed it and went crashing to the floor in an undignified heap, causing DC to laugh hysterically...

Fortunately that was the final straw in their relationship - and DC threw a huge party in celebration at his departure! (He was never the same once his hose had snapped...... )

Good one, LT!

Unfortunately Ivor was distraught when he heard that he wasn't invited to the party and went to see a plastic surgeon about having his hose mended.

Fortunately, although the plastic surgeon said he could do nothing about the hose, he did offer a maintenance-free plastic skirt instead

Unfortunately Ivor found this to be a little irritating against what was left of his hose.


(Or have I been under a misconception all along about what type of hose it is that we're all referring to? )

(There's hose and hose - subtle difference! )

Fortunately the plastic surgeon also prescribed some soothing ointment to make the irritation go way.....

Unfortunately the ointment smelt so rancid that nobody could stand to be near him.

Fortunately, his family had all inherited no scence of smell...

Unfortunately DC and the others (who are they again? ) did, though, so they covered him with after-shave in order to keep him sweet.

unfortunately he was standing next to a barber with a razor and a phobia about hair, who proceeded to shave off every last bit of his hair

Fortunately DC scooped all the hair up and stuck it onto a very realistic collage she was making entitled "Barber Goes Mad With Razor"

Unfortunately it fell off

fortunately a hurricane started to blow and most of the hair blew back on

Unfortunately,to Hazels face and stuck to it...

Fortunately Hazel was a whizz-kid with the waxing strips.

Unfortunately, she ran out of strips halfway through waxing

Fortunately this left her with a rather attractive goatie beard.

Unfortunately, this lead to her being approached by a circus to star as their bearded lady attraction

Fortunately she's always got on well with dwarves and fire-eaters and took to her new position with glee.

Unfortunately, she had a problem with the elephant...

Fortunately the elephant didn't have a problem with her



(sorry, not very scintillating, I'm better than I was but still groggy, I'll go away again )

Unfortunately she didn't like the elephant not having a problem with her.

Fortunately her problem with the elephant was only to do with size as she is only five feet tall and the elephant was used to bending down.

Unfortunately the elephant had a rather perverse and unhealthy interest in her beard and was forever slobbering over it.

Fortunately Hazel found this behaviour quite cute

Unfortunately the elephant's elephant girlfriend didn't and became VERY jealous.

Fortunately Hazel had a way with jealous girlfriends and flattered her




I'm famous at last!