Unfortunately, Ivor Longtrunk started pining for Nelly....

Fortunately Nelly was into short trunks.

Unfortunately Ivor had his shortened

Fortunately he was able to send off the bit that was cut off and Ivor Bighose was able to put it to good use.

Unfortunately for Ivor nobody seemed to care any more.

Fortunately DC was the notable exception!

Unfortunately even DC found it impossible to convert a trunk into a straw..

Fortunately, DC came across a trunk conversion kit on e-bay for 25p

Nice one!

Unfortuanately DC failed to check the postage costs before bidding and winning the auction....*gulp*

Fortunately Looney offered to pay all costs!!

*cheeky!*

Unfortunately Looney offered to pay all costs ONLY if she could have the honour of fixing Ivor's Bighose...
*how does a trunk conversion kit work? *

Fortunately Looney did not have to find out as the trunk conversion kit was lost in the post

Unfortunatly, the post office wasn't doing very well, and couldn't find it.

Fortunately DC found a Bighose Grow it Yourself kit in her attic which she decided to try out on Ivor.

Unfortunately DC underestimated the amount of compost required

Fortunately her friend worked in the local garden centre and had plentiful supplies to hand...

Unfortunately the compost was super-rich and Ivor's Bighose kept growing - and growing - and growing...

Fortunately, DC didn't mind a bit!

Unfortunately Ivor's Bighose grew so long that it started to snake its way out of the attic, down the stairs and out of the front door - where it was spotted by DC's neighbour who called out the RSPCA

Fortunately it swept the neighbour and the RSPCA aside like a giant...giant..er..hose..

Unfortunately they had to call in the axeman to try and get the situation under control.....

Fortunately the axeman was unavailable when called!

Unfortunately that meant that Ivor's Bighose kept on growing - and eventually reached France via the Channel Tunnel...

Fortunately, DC's nursing skills came in handy (again!) and she tied off the end of Ivors hose so that the blood supply was cut off.

*Ouch*

Unfortunately gangrene rapidly set in - and Ivor was rushed to hospital (again )

Fortunately, the gangrene was restricted to just the end part of the hose

Unfortunately, the gangrene was at the wrong end..

**Eyes watering**

Fortunately there was medication available for the problem but it caused the hose to swell uncontrollably, which posed something of a problem in the channel tunnel...

Unfortunately this caused all transport through the tunnel to be suspended - causing many people to turn back home - and as a result Euro Disney was completely deserted

Fortunately the world was a quieter and happier place

Unfortunately not for long - Ivor's hose swelled to gigantic proportions - and then ruptured!

Fortunately, Ivor TiddlyHose was relieved and hugged the person nearest to him

Unforunately that happened to be a zombified Prince Benny - back to wreak havoc on the world!

Fortunately the taxidermist wasn't far away either, so Ivor Tiddlyhose's hose was preserved for the museum of natural history, and Prince Benny was restuffed as a sort of a 'buy one, get one free' job, rendering the world a much safer place for us all....

Unfortunately the taxidermist didn't do his job properly - and things started to smell........