Twelve Highlanders and a Bagpipe make a rebellion (attrib to Sir Walter Scott)

I got to try the bagpipes. It was like trying to blow an octopus (James Galway)

'And those, when the bagpipe sings i' th' nose, cannot containe their urine (Shakespeare 'Merchant of Venice)

The bagpipes, they are screaming and they are sorrowful, There is a wail in their merriment, and cruelty in their triumph. They rise and fall like a wieght swung int he air at the end of a string. (Hugh MacDairmid)



(I will introduce more instrument quotes from time to time)

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.” (Oliver Herford)

"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig." (Alfred Hitchcock)

This quote isn't really about bagpipes, but about a cat. It's in the crime novel I'm currently reading "Dying Light" by Stuart Macbride, set in Aberdeen:

"She clutched at the cat, dragging it away from its ablutions. It sagged into her lap, legs stuck out at right angles, like an overinflated set of ginger bagpipes."

What a laugh - those quotes are great.

I don't know who said this and it may not be word for word perfect but:

The best bagpipes are the ones in the far away field.