I can't believe how unbelievably useless I was in my singing lesson today.

For the first time ever I actually had to stop in the middle of a song because I knew if I'd tried to carry on I was going to pass out/collapse. I can't believe my lack of willpower and determination, and feel awful now for being so weak. Schubert would've turned in his grave if he'd heard the mess I was making of his beautiful song.

My teacher was really kind and understanding and just let me sit and have some water and try and recover. He has some idea of the nature of my health problems. Poor chap was trying to pick out the positive bits of the lesson to reflect on at the end, but I was just SO AWFUL.

I haven't been this unwell in a long time, and to be honest it scares me because I've got to keep functioning. Somehow.

Sorry, this is a really miserable post. Please click yourselves on to a nice happy one instead asap. I just needed somewhere where I could be totally honest about what's happening to me. Then I can stick the brave face on and carry on functioning as best as I can in real life.

Hopefully sense of humour will be resumed as normal tomorrow.

Ambs
x

Sorry to hear this, Ambs

It will pass though. Take care of yourself.

Hope you feel better soon

Hugs Ambs.

Imagine we're all dancing round your house and cavorting in midair trying to make you laugh ...

sorry, it's the best I can do right this minute !

hope your better soon.

I'm sorry you had such a rotten lesson Amber and that you're feeling under the weather. have a long luxurious bath and get someone to wait on you for an evening if you can. Failling that, use my failsafe method for morale improvement:

The Allan Wright 3 step programme to feeling better ®:

1) Buy bodyweight in chocolate
2) Eat it.
3) repeat as often as necessary (or until you're being wheeled around in a bath chair wearing curtains - whichever comes first).

Hope you feel better soon.

Allan

Oh, Ambs.

Of course you couldn't sing if you were feeling like the diabolical place.

Be kind to yourself, grab as much rest as you can, and try to be patient. Not easy, I know.

Meanwhile,

"Mein liebe, Amber..it voz not zat bad..I did not spin in zee grave...vell..maybe ein teenzy veenzy bit"




Hope you're better soon, Ambs xxxxx

What are you like Daisy!
Get well soon Amber!

Take care amber! Hope you get better please.
x

Sorry....

Isn't it suposed to be meine or meiner?

Oh I don't know, it made me smile! Which is nothing short of a miracle today. I did actually faint earlier a little while ago then I was sick after and I appear to have vomited blood. I'm a bit worried. I'm not quite sure what to do. Don't want to tell DH as he's got more than enough on his plate, but he's probably going to wonder why I'm not my usual self.

Bit worried Ambs
xxx

PS. Don't want to go to the doctor and come across like some whinging pom.

I don't think fainting and vomiting blood are call for anyone to be thought of as just whinging . Seriously, go sooner rather than later - the longer you leave it, the longer you'll be worried about it, and the longer it'll take to get better.

^ wot YAP said. Look after yourself, Ambs, and if necessary annoy the he!l out of your doctor until you get some help.

*hugs* and don't be beating yourself up for not being able to sing well when you're feeling so shabby. Sending lots of love & hugs xxxx

I would ring your GP this evening if i were in your situation I think. I hope that you feel back to normal very soon but do get yourself checked over. Then we will all feel better too.

I feel awful for saying anything about it now. I will do something about it tomorrow. I can't do anything about it tonight as DH is coming home soon from a trip up north having been to an interview today, so the last thing he needs to come home to is a poorly wife. Hopefully a good night's sleep will sort everything.

Ambs
x

Awww don't feel bad for feeling bad, Ambs. Fact is, a lot of us know you and care about you and we just want you to look after yourself. I'm sure your hubby would want you to look after yourself too. *hugggggggggggs*

If you don't want to call the GP/locum out, perhaps you could ring NHS Direct (are they still going???) and get some advice over the phone?

Hope you don't have any more attacks and that you soon feel better

Get well sonn Amber

All the best Amber.......

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, and kind wishes. I will ring the GP in the morning, much as I'd rather hide my head in the sand about it! And I'll tell DH about it tomorrow, he's just come home knackered, and needs some TLC, so I really don't want to trouble him with it tonight. From the PMs I've received, plus a dear friend on MSN, I recognise I can't just ignore it, and I understand what it is now that is frightening me about it.

Ambs
xx

Ambs take care and pamper yourself a little ... will think of you tomorrow.

Sounds like a good course of action. All the best for a speedy recovery Amber.

^^^

What they all said...

take care Amber x

I hope you are feeling better soon Amber xxxxx

Hello nice people,

Well I've been to the doctor, didn't really want to but I went. She's taken blood and various other tests. She feels possibly its infected gastritis, but was sympathetic when I said I feared it could be the Crohns Disease reappearing, particularly as my joint pains have been quite bad lately. Having had my entire large intestine removed plus part of the distal ileum, I'm rather keen not to lose any more bits and pieces of tummy. I've declined an endoscopy at this stage because I once suffered quite badly at the hands of a junior doctor who was very rough with me, also I'm phobic anyway about things being shoved in my mouth because of stuff that happened to me as a child. Cross that bridge when and if I have to, hopefully never again.

She says it also would appear that the Lupus has relapsed/come back, the blood tests should be able to reveal more about that hopefully. I feel quite down about that, but that's probably because I just feel generally unwell all over at the mment.

She then went on to ask my advice about another patient with bowel cancer who's experiencing certain difficulties with his stoma appliances and did I have any thoughts/recommendations about what he can do. So, me being me, I offered to go and talk to him, but I sort of wish I'd kept my mouth shut. I just don't like to think of him suffering when there are various solutions that I know of that I believe could solve the problem.

And then I got home and thought here I am feeling all sorry for myself when this guy's had cancer, so I feel even more like a whinging pom now. And this is the second week in a row where I'm going to have to miss choir, so I'm letting them down too.

Arghh, where's my sense of humour gone, I need it NOW.



Ambs
x

*hugs* I'm glad you've gone and told the doc what's going on Ambs.

And yes, that chap may have cancer - but it doesn't make you any less ill. So don't go beating yourself up about it!! *hugs*

hope the doctor comes to a nice diagnosis that leaves you free from worry.

I hope you get well soon Amber - and don't worry about letting anyone down, you need to take care of yourself! The doctor should come up with a solution

No-one said that ill people have to take turns, if you are poorly you need the medic's help. Same goes for the other chap.

And you aren't letting anyone down by enabling yourself to recover - exactly the opposite in fact, if you soldier on without giving yourself recovery time you put yourself out of action longer, which lets yourself down and everyone else around you.

Maybe your Doctor might have referred the gentleman to a stoma nurse specialist -_
Glad you have been seen and having some tests. It may not be what you fear.
Bev.

Aw, Ambs, I am so sorry to hear about this You poor thing.

You definitely aren't some whinging pom, at all! You are the least whinging person I know.

I hope you start to improve soon because you really don't deserve any of this.

*gentle and warm hugs*

PS - You are not useless at all. Full stop.

Really pleased you decided to see your GP. It was the best thing to do.

Hope you get well soon Ambs.

Well done for seeing your GP !

I do hope you soon feel better. Thinking of you.

Hope you feel better soon!

I'd really hoped to have some better news to post but eeek things are even worse than they were. please feel free to ignore these rambling whingings from some sub-standard malfunctioning wife (Stepford Wife I most certainly am not). Having "rested" for most of today I thought I really ought to try some singing, but after 5 minutes it was obvious that if I carried on my voice will have completely disappeared. whatwill i do if i lose my voice, help.

I can't tell yu how disapointe d I am that my whoel body weems to be disintegrating around me. can't do joined up thinking, and my eyes and mouth are so dry and painlfull with swollen salivery gkands under my chin. Got through work yesterday somehow but I think ai am paying for it big time today. if anhyone has a magic wand please please please wave it for me. I've GOT TO GOT TO be well. DH has had more bad news about job he applied for, and i've got to be ok and strong for him. got to. sorry its difficult to think straight and i'm very very cold in my body. i'll probably come bak and delete this post, but it's just a bloggy sort of whinge to let off steam, and i'm so sorry to ve bletting people down, Ifeel rather ill.

Let's hope everything is ok tmorrow and this is all a bad dream.

hopefuly

Ambsxx
any magic wands greatflly appreciated.

I'm so sorry Amber...I feel helpless and don't know what to say XXXXX Hope these help a little though. Thinking of you xxx You must not delete this post. We are here to support you!

Try and rest up best you can....thinking of you.

xxx

Oh Ambs... Praying for you... Lets hope your Doctor can find a treatment for you

Hope you feel better soon

Thinking of you.

THank you much pprecitaed, and they are beautiful. I should be in bed becausemy brains in a fug and my visions sort of blurry so it's not god to strain it on the screeen. I'm worrned about how of earth i'm going to be ok for woodford green, when i've nearly compeltely lsot my voice.

Don't want ot let people down,
DH is telling me to go to bed,
sorry this probably ins't makding sense, shall come back when head is less dizzy

Oh Amber, I'm so sorry to hear. But you aren't superwoman, I know you're strong for your other half anyway, so you have to rest if you can, although I know it's hard. *huggles*. Let me know if I can do anything.

*sees previous post*

You won't let anyone down

Your health comes first, although it would be great to see you, it is better you rest and recuperate than push yourself to be ready for Woodford.

Take care...xxx

Oh you poor thing Has the doctor checked you for glandular fever as some of your symptoms sound like that?

I hope you are in bed resting and not on here.

Get well soon

Oh Ambs - thinking of you . Keep warm and get some rest.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

get well soon