I was just wondering how far people feel is best to go in encouraging your other half, or even other family member or friend, to take up an instrument. Mine is currently keen to take up the clarinet. The thing is though that he is not particularly motivated about it and does not have a lot of time in which to look for teachers and instruments. He thinks that once he started he would perservere and make a go of it- I'm not so sure that he would practise regularly though.

He is very musical and often corrects me by ear when I'm playing the violin to him (grr!). He can also make up chords on the piano with the left hand, picking out a tune with the right, again by ear. So I know that he is musical, far more so than I am, and he does love music. I am very keen for him to learn; I think it would be great if we could play duets and things, but I can see myself getting irritated with him if he drops it. He does have a bad habit of not getting around to things though, so it might just be that.

Should I book him some lessons and/or encourage him to buy and play a clarinet, or should I just leave him to follow his own natural course? Or should I, which is probably most sensible, look around for a teacher etc and leave the rest up to him?

Anyway, just wondered what the rest of you thought about this? It's hard to stay detached! How do you stop yourself getting annoyed if/when a friend/family member can't be bothered with learning?

As you know, a musical instrument takes a lot of motivation to learn.
It might seem a bit blunt , but if he can't get up and get something organised for himself, he's not going to commit to lessons or practice in a meaningful way.

I fear you may waste your time and money by organising something for him. I suspect a clarinet is not cheap to buy! When he's ready to learn, he'll do it for himself.

Nothing wrong with encouraging and praising him for his efforts on the piano. That might eventually motivate him to go down the road of formal lessons. How I wish I had his skill!


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I encouraged my other half to take up an instrument - any instrument! - as he has a good ear and sings. He eventually decided on violin (probably because as I teach it, he doesn't have to pay for lessons!) However, once he'd got started, he really enjoyed it, even taking his grade 1. He doesn't practise much (time factor) and therefore doesn't progress much, but if the enjoyment is there and the will to persevere, surely those are the important things?

You know your own spouse best! My husband tends to be a bit lazy about starting things, but is easily motivated - for instance, if I want a room decorated all I have to do is choose paper or paint and tell him when he can do it; but if I waited for him to come and help choose, I'd have a long wait!

Is your husband the sort who would enjoy playing if it were set up for him? If so, find a teacher, find a clarinet and give him a birthday /Christmas surprise. If, on the other hand, he would hate to be dictated to like that, just keep on encouraging him and hope he'll get to like the idea enough to do something. Try to stress all the positive bits - the time you can spend playing together, and how much fun it will be.

Good luck!

I think I probably wouldn't push it unless they started asking me how to go about it or were looking into it a bit already themselves.

I know a lot of people who say "I'd like to be able to play x/y/z", but I know they have no intention of ever doing so.

I suppose you have to be really sure it would be welcomed

Ask my talented other half what she thinks about tone-deaf me taking up an instrument...

She actually encouraged me!

I was thinking about this, and maybe it's encouraged vs forced... keep encouraging, make lots of "go fo it" noises, but maybe don't put your OH in the position of feeling he's obligated (buying an expensive instrument, booking lessons).

I'd be on a winner with Mr Lottie if there was a musical instrument you could practise while walking up mountains or cutting the grass - he'd be an expert in no time...

Singing?

I had a pupil who was given piano lessons as a surprise Christmas lesson last year as he wanted to be able to learn enough to be able to work out how his choral singing pieces went. He stopped lessons in July, but he had achieved what he wanted to do, and also realised that he would never make a pianist! (stiff fingers, age, lack of time .... ) I made up a special Christmas card for him in the form of a voucher for 10 lessons, which was what his wife had paid for. Perhaps you could do something similar, littlelady87, after researching a suitable teacher, and hire a clarinet for a month to see if he takes to it?