Oh I agree with you there, especially in the primary years. However, if a child/teenager starts putting up real resistance until it turns into a nightly battle, what's a parent to do? Especially if the child insists they want to carry on with lessons?

Sheila Nelson responded to this question by saying sometimes a child/teenager will go through a period of coasting; sometimes it's best just to let them coast for a while until they pick up again of their own accord...

Could be wise advice.

We had this problem with our daughter. She practised fine up to somewhere in year 10, and then all the GCSE work poured in and it all became too much. After that, practice on both violin and piano became sporadic and eventually almost ceased despite the "nightly battles". She loved her lessons, though, and playing in the school and music centre orchestra. She had us over a barrel really, as she wanted to do A-level Music, so we didn't like to force her to stop lessons.

Eventually, she packed in piano and A-level Music after AS, but continued with violin lessons until she left school. Four years on, she never plays either instrument, which makes me wonder whether we should have discontinued lessons much earlier and saved our money! But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and at the time it's hard to tell whether it is just a passing phase.

I doubt very much if your daughter will think you've wasted your money in the years to come. What has been learnt and what she has gained from the whole experience can never be taken away, and I'd be willing to bet that she will return to playing in some form or another at some stage in her life.

With regard to the homework question - I don't think we're all going to agree on the benefits or otherwise of homework at the age of 7 or 8, but I have to say again that I don't think it's a reason for not pratising an instrument; I think it's an excuse. The child who is keen will find a way. But they all go through phases of wavering enthusiasm, and I think as teachers we just have to accept that, and continue to motivate them through these phases as best we can, until common sense tells us that it has gone beyond a 'phase', at which stage we need to enter into discussions with the parents as to whether or not to continue, and on what understanding.

There's nothing like a social occasion in the teacher's house, though, with a few sausage rolls and buns, and cushions on the floor, to stimulate renewed interest.

We are in this situation at the moment with our eldest and I stopped her Clarinet lessons. I don't know if I've made the right decision and it wasn't purely due to the homework situation. She's not really been pushing to get them back bit is happy to continue in Band and ensemble. On the other hand when her drum lessons came to an end, they were pulled by the music Service , she pulled her face so much that the Teacher found a temporary way round it.

I suspect that if your daughter isn't pushing to continue clarinet lessons she is probably relieved to be having a break from them. I think one of the worst aspects of parenthood is having to make so many decisions for one's offspring. All you can do is your best, so just assume you've done the right thing for now; I'm sure that if she later expresses a wish to start them again, you'll be happy to do so.

Dear little pupil update:

Well, she came for her lesson today and although she had only practised once, played absolutely beautifully and learned to play dotted crotchet rhythms for the first time! She ended up playing 'Rock-a-Bye Baby' flawlessly with a lovely bowhold, lovely long bows, excellent intonation and fantastic posture. What a girl!

The main thing is, her enthusiasm seems to have returned and she agreed (with me and her dad there) to do lots more playing during the week. The lesson went much too quickly and she seems all excited about her pieces again - which is what it's all about.

I'm going to propose an idea to her next lesson - that we secretly start working on a CD that she can give to family - parents as well relatives back in her home country - I was going to say for Christmas but I don't know if they celebrate Christmas!!! New Year's present perhaps (do they have the same New Year - must do research, methinks).

Anyway, I can see she needs a regular little boost - great new pieces, lots of praise, little goals - anything and everything to make it not just another task like homework.

I just HAVE to get it right with this little one - she's so, so special.

It's the gouter isn't it? De la patisserie, du chocolat, et du lait - perfect fuel for musicians of all ages!

Mine drink orange juice and eat biscuits for the goûter.

However, because they have a two-hour lunch break, on the days I am working from home I pick them up at lunch-time and they do their practise then.

If I didn't I don't really know when they'd practise efficently. They don't usually get home till about five o'clock and can have up to an hour's homework. On one of the two days when I am not at home the elder one does a quick "play through" for her lesson the following day after this but she can no longer concentrate enough to do a serious practice by then. And I also think it is important for her to have time to play and relax. The other day is her "day off."

Violinia, it just occured to me that when Viohazard was getting burned out when particularly burdensome homework and music practice coincided, I would pick a week to pretty much ignore all the things he "had to" practice daily ( sorry...bad parent...) and let him practice one thing that he "had to" each day, and then just play me all the things that he wanted me to hear, making the violin sound as beautiful as possible (i.e., I would tell him that I wanted his own music to sound just as beautiful as any music his teacher gave him). He would have been about the age of your pupil at the time, and it did seem to revive the passion!

Glad to see your pupil's enthusiasm is returning, Violinia. Hope you both have lots of lovely lessons.

What a lovely idea!


That's a great idea too...

I'm storing up all these thoughts for future reference

Actually I think it's the good quality meat and often home grown vegetables down here! The school goûter
in the morning is bread and chocolate and in the afternoon seasonal fruit.

To come back on topic, I think homework is here to stay and after all as music teachers we ask them to so it as well. I think a reasonable amount of homework after a reasonable length school day is acceptable but enough is enough. I don't know if any country has these reasonable things - let alone a reasonable system of education.

Thanks for all your supportive remarks. I cannot tell you how amazing this child is! Whenever she's just leaving as another one arrives, the one who's just arrived always says to me: 'oh my goodness how do you cope when you're teaching that child? She's so....sweet!!!' My star 18-year-old pupil had tears in her eyes when meeting the little one for the first time. She now wants her lesson just after the little one's so she can see her every week!

I have to guiltily confess I have four favourites:

the little one

the 18-year-old star

a nearly 16-year-old boy who refuses to read music but already plays like a gypsy

my wonderful adult beginner who's already on Grade 3 pieces after 6 months from total beginner and is now tackling Vivaldi's A minor violin concerto which was once on the Grade 8 syllabus.

Intriguingly, three of them are ..... non-English! And the English one is very well-travelled. Hmm, what does this say, I wonder?

Please note: I'm very fond of all my students but it's probably impossible not to have a few favourites!

I do have another list of almost-favourites:

A dear teenage girl who's obsessed with Doctor Who and has learnt to play all the theme tunes by ear

A lovely, very good-natured teenage boy who plays folk, bluegrass, jazz, tango...

A boy with severe Aspergers who's just started to respond and smile as well as make fantastic headway with his Grade 3 pieces and scales

two dear little primary school beginners with so much energy and enthusiasm


Actually all these favourites have one very important thing in common -

they practise - a lot!

Awww hehehehe


Helps!!

One of the things I admire most in a teacher is lack of favourites; or at least, not allowing liking for some pupils to get in the way of even-handed treatment. It's really horrid to see some teachers almost fawning over certain pupils and then being quite dismissive of others. I'm sure you're not at all like this, Violinia; your thread just made me think about the whole business of favourites, and how important it is for teachers to treat their pupils as equally as possible.

I can put hand on heart and assure you I'd never treat any student differently from any other student - they all deserve the very best a teacher can offer. But what teacher cannot help feeling a little weariness when a student arrives at their lesson with some excuse about having been too busy to practise (with the parent raising a very visible quizzical eyebrow in the background)?

A instrumental teacher's joy is a student who practises, progresses and blossoms musically. The ones who don't become frankly a bit of a drain, and I'm beginning to become relieved if and when they give up. How can you not end up preferring the lesson-time spent with the ones who practise?

You'd have to be from some strange non-human species not to feel a lift when a practising student comes through the door. This doesn't mean you treat the non-practisers any differently - of course you don't - and as it happens I'm very fond of each and every single one of them as people, because they all have something unique and special about them. And I do try my utmost to enthuse them with exciting repertoire, a change of direction every now and then to keep them on their toes - every possible way of helping them renew their motivation. Sometimes it works and they move up my list! But I certainly wouldn't expect a teacher to feel particularly enthusiastic about me as a student if I just coasted along month after month no matter what I did to try and inspire them....

So I'd be lying if there weren't a handful that stood out - not because of their personalities but because they practise very day and progress really, really well!

My son's sax teacher could have been described as 'fawning over' my son when he used to practise like a demon; when my son hit the later teenage years and his practice and enthusiasm began to wane, so did his teacher's enthusiasm for him - and I didn't blame the teacher for that one iota.

Talking about dismissive teachers - there's one peri in my neck of the woods who actually shouts at the children who don't practise and makes them cry. I've inherited about six of her students and they all started out with the same problem - they seemed afraid to play a note in case they got it wrong - a bit like musical 'stuttering'. Absolutely heart-breaking. It's taken me a long, long time to cure them of this habit and I just feel happy for them that she didn't manage to kill off their enjoyment of music completely - others were less fortunate.

As it happens she's a very good teacher on the technical front, but has zero tolerance for the children who don't practise or don't show much immediate aptitude.



Perhaps she's just jaded after too many years as a peri but if any peris here start start becoming like her, myse;f included, I hope we have the good sense to change careers immediately!!!

I consider myself very fortunate in that I like all of my pupils, but its true, some are just easier to teach than others for a variety of reasons. We are bound to get on better with some people than others, being only human, and obviously the students who work harder are far easier and in some cases far more enjoyable to teach.

I suppose what I'm trying to say (in a rather hamfisted way!) is that the mark of a really professional teacher is that they make that extra effort to keep all their students learning and enjoying music to the best of their ability. No teacher should openly have favourites, but I'm sure we all have pupils we are delighted to see every week and others we are equally happy to see the back of every week! But a good teacher should make everyone feel as able and as appreciated.

As for shouting at kids, that is just totally not on!

Having read Violina's original post there is one thing that appears to get in the way. Television, PS2, Internet games, you name them the electronic wizardry is to blame.

At that age I had reading spellings two instuments to practice, swimming, brownies, ballet and the to and fro between my then divorcing parents. The wok was always done. The reason no TV until I'd done the work.

At 11, I theoretically had 2 and a half hours work to do per night after school including practice, guess what I was done. I still had time for guides and various orchestras, saturday morning music school, hockey and school productions.

It is all in the attitude, and unfortunately my experience when I end up giving the practice lecture is that the TV has come first.

I have to admit that you're right. I know that I'm meant to be doing 15 hours of study per week outside of school for my ######. Have I done that? No. Yet have I practised? No. I'm one of these people who once I'm into a piece of work I will carry on with it for hours, but I take ages to get into it, and I get distracted from starting it for ages. But then I always get my school work done because I know that if I don't do it, I won't pass my exams. The problem I find with practising is that I know I can put my exam back by a term if need be, yet I can't put my AS exams back by a term. It's just a habit that I've got into, which I am slowly trying to break, but I have to admit that when you haven't practised fr a while you feel even worse about practising because you sound awful when you finally do pick that instrument up. It's one of these things that you need to carry on with in your daily routine, because as soon as it gets knocked out it's hard to get back into that routine.

But in all fairness to your student, even though the homework level isn't the high, I do find that going back to school is incredibly tiring and I just don't have the energy to do my schoolwork let alone practise. So it may just be that she needed to get back into the normal routine first and then add the music in later. I know that that's what I often have to do.

Sorry, parts of that were a bit off-topic, but oh well, you get my drift

Yes, so true

I do actually shout at one of mine. But it's usually because he shouts at me first. He's an older Grade 7 teenager who gets quite 'into' things, and really seriously argues with me quite vehemently. But we have a good relationship, really (honestly ) and it's all with good humour. There is certainly no feeling of me putting him down and getting the upper hand just because I'm the teacher. We get really quite heated at times about how to interpret things and often impolitely agree to differ. But we do have an understanding, and his lessons always over-run (he's the last one of the night) as we both enjoy them so much. But I dread to think what the parents of any new young beginner would think if they were to be flies on the wall...