I have a private pupil who has been coming to me for a couple of years now. There are a nightmare to put it mildly!! Their attendance has never been great but seems to be getting much worse lately.
Since the first week of september they should have attended 5 lessons. The first week the kid was sick, the second week they did turn up but half an hour late so only had a short lesson. The third week the kid was sick again, last week they did manage to come and on time! Just got home now and have a message on the answering machine saying he has been taken into hospital so they are not coming. The sickness seems to be a differerent thing each week, ie. cough, sore ear, cut finger, dizzy etc so I have no idea what is really going on, but am not actually convinced he is sick all the time.
It is starting to irritate me but I feel awful sending them a warning letter incase he really is ill. Quite apart from the missed earnings I have 2 kids on my waiting list who are desperate to start lessons.
Any suggestions would be great!

Don't accuse her of singing the lead until you've got the facts.

Is it possible to speak to the parent. Express your concerns and at that point state you hope its nothing chronic for the pupils sake.

Now if your poor pupils has contracted glanudalr fever, ME, or worse still been diagnosed with a cancer, this provides the parent a chance to open up in a non confrontational way. If it does turn out to be something chronic then bear with her. Someone who is prepared to be a sick pupils advocate when the world appears to be going against them is often just what they need.

However if the real reason is that they just want to give up, then use this opportunity to say goodbye.

HAving a chronic illness myself and teaching a couple of mildly dyslexic pupils, and having taught people with anxiety disorders and ME it can be trememdously rewarding. Hard work, but definately worth the effort.

i think you have no choice but to contact them and say that this kind of lack of attendence just simply isn't on. i would say that you are sorry that he appears to be so unwell, and are happy to continue to hold his space available, as long as it is paid for every week regardless of whether he attends or not. telling them that you are concerned about loss of earnings may seem callous, but any reasonable person must understand that you need to be able to rely on your income.

my reply was posted at the same time as jod's.

totally agree that teaching someone with a chronic condition is invaluable to them. i have chronic fatigue and have been blessed with wonderfully understanding and supportive teachers.

i just don't think you can be expected to lose money as a result. it's not your fault that the child is ill.

I used to be a music pupil when I was quite young and I skived lessons a few times and I think the problem I had was not wanting to stir anything up with the teacher as I rarely did the work assigned as the homework. Obviously you want to encourage them to do it, I guess the parents arent gonna respond well unless you are pushing them the expected average. All I can say to be honest, though my music teacher was kind and understanding, is I would have benifited from being told that what I was doing was okay and we should go at my pace rather than no pace.

Be wary of assuming the child is just lazy - but on the other hand it's your livelihood and you shouldn't be losing money. It may be a good idea to gently test the water to see if anything will be forthcoming about why the child is ill so often. It's horrible (I speak as someone with chronic illness myself) when people assume one is just lazy, but even if the child IS ill, it doesn't make it fair that you are losing so many lessons' worth of income.

IF the kid is actually ill I will be totally understanding. My husband has ME and suffers badly at times so I am more than willing to be considerate to situations like that. I just don't think that he really is ill. I have been on the phone to his mum while she is telling me that he feels awful and has a terrible cough and in the back ground I can hear him laughing and playing with someone! He doesn't like lessons I know that as a fact, his Mum pushes him to come. She comes from a poor country and could never afford lessons and instruments when she was a kid she is very insistant that he has lessons. I have talked to her about stopping his lessons numerious times but she will not hear of it and says he must have the lessons even if he hates them, She gets very cross with me!
I am really unsure what to do. Obviously this week he must be ill to be in hospital but I am just fed up of the whole situation!!

I can't think of a worse scenario for a teacher!!
If he hates his lessons and his mother gets cross with you, give him up straight away for your own sanity!

I was in that situation once and eventually refused to continue with lessons. Mum was furious at the time, but dad approached me at a later date and thanked me profusely! Relations with all three are good now if I run onto them anywhere.

I have a student who regularly misses for one reason or another, but she pays me a retainer, although generally I'm probably too relaxed when people miss lessons, but in my case its not the main income for the household.

The only way to really solve the problem is charge termly for however many lessons, if they miss one - tough and you still get paid, she will probably then be much more reluctant for him to miss any.

ooh just noticed that was my 600th post, quite low considering I've been a member for 4 years!

I can clearly see how awful you must feel about it, but as already mentioned: You are running a private tuition studio and not a charity ...

IF the child is really ill: Sad, but not your problem in the long run. I know this sounds awful, but all private teachers have to live, and if everyone, seriously ill or not, assumed that we would keep their slots open and at the same time charge nothing if they don't appear, we would not be able to.
You would have to talk to the parent and say that if a lesson is cancelled without sufficient notice (I would say something between 24 and 48 hrs is already quite generous and common practice), you HAVE to charge, no matter what, and they have to accept it. Or, if it is a longer illness, charge a retainer fee (e.g. 50% of the normal lesson fee).

IF the child just cannot be bothered, I would say: End it for your own sake. You don't have to justify yourself, especially not if you already tried it the friendly way. It is your income, your waiting list and your satisfaction with your job that's a discussion point here. You will feel better in the long run, and you'll be better off financially as well if you substitute this child with someone who really WANTS to learn. Killing two birds with one stone ...

Thanks for all the helpful replies. I have been trying to get the parents on the phone to see if the kid is ok but had no luck, I guess they must be at the hospital still. I am going to see what is going on with the hospital situation and then I think I will write them a warning letter saying if this does not stop they are out. I am sure it will not stop so hopefully I will be rid of the constant problems!! I will keep you all posted!

It sounds as if the child is really ill this time but probably was not on the other occasions. It is a tricky one, but if you don't receive your money it affects other things. I was baby-sitting last night and had to phone the parents to come home because their little girl was in agony and screaming. I still took my full baby-sitting money because whilst I was sympathetic, and felt a little bit guilty, I have to pay my piano teacher with that money tomorrow. If I didn't pay her, because they didn't pay me, then the chain just goes on if she can't pay someone else.

Even though you are running a business, if this child really is sick then their music lessons may end up theraputic. Work with the parents on this. It is possible to consider your earnings andsupport a sick pupil.

I would suggest chatting to the parent and finding out a bit more, but if it is a chronic condition, either ask for some kind of retainer, or say gently that you need the space used (as it's your income and livelihood) so you'll need to fill it from your waiting list. And say that the child concerned will go back on your waiting list as a number one priority when he/she has recovered........I once had a pupil at school who was ill for the best part of 2 terms, and due to the school policy, her slot was kept open all that time, but I never received a penny......

CD that was very unfair - if the school was unwilling to keep the parents to their agreement, they should have been willing to pay you at least part in lieu.

Ruthiet, if this child has a health problem, the parents really should talk to you and put you in the picture - then you are not working in the dark and can decide what your response is going to be.

explain to the parent that the sickness isnt the issue its the absence. I have had one or two pupils like this in the past and to be honest it may be well to gently let them go. its a tough one though.

It might be the case that the parents don't actually fully understand the situation themselves. Lots of small health issues could have an underlying cause that they're only just finding out about themselves now that the child is in hospital. Continually missing lessons for minor reasons isn't really acceptable, but I feel the benefit of the doubt should be given in this case, at least in the short term. If I was the teacher, I'd politely ask the parents to keep me informed, and explain that I was unfortunately not in a financial position to let the situation run on too long. Even if I was to lose out a little, I'd say that I'd give it till, say, half-term, and then put another child in that slot for now, on the understanding I 'would do my very best to find another space for their child when they felt his health was up to coming back to lessons regularly'.

Well yesterday another issue not involving music lessons but involving the family concerned cropped up. I was advised to stop all lessons immediately so have done. I put a letter through their door so am just waiting for the angry phone call now!!
Thanks for all your advice, I feel relieved I have finally given them the push!

Sounds ominous.

yes it is rather!!

I am intirigued. Who advised you to stop the lessons? Dare I ask why?

its all a bit legal so I can't say too much. the family complained about something elsewhere and I don't want to get dragged into it all!

I see. Yes, probably best not to put yourself at risk. Have you had the angry phone call yet?!

Ooo, that sounds a bit ominous.
Hope everything gets sorted.
Keep us informed.

Good luck.
x