QUOTE(lottie @ Dec 27 2009, 06:39 PM)
QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Dec 26 2009, 11:58 PM)
Oh dear! I've been so lucky in my mother-in-law; sorry you're finding yours so difficult. Perhaps she will mellow in time, when she sees that you are making her son very happy. Meanwhile, I suppose you just have to grin and bear it. Do you get on OK with your father-n-law?
I think it's too late for 'mellowing' - she's actually getting worse as she becomes more elderly. Old people seem to think they have the right to behave selfishly.
Sadly my Father-in-law passed away some time ago but the situation with him was actually worse!
He was not an educated man and was very bitter about it - I was at University when I met him and he was dreadfully rude to me as a result. He also believed women should 'know their place' and I was studying feminist theory and was fiercely independent... cue further distress. I was a timid thing tho' back then and never said a word to him - even my husband doesn't know (and wouldn't believe) some of the horrible things he said to me.
Although I love my husband deeply I nearly called it off because of his parents. Now we've been married for a long time there's an uneasy truce with me usually taking the blame for any problems. (His mother's a Saint apparently
My Father's mum used to be awful to my mum, I can remember when I was young and we were all round my Aunties house and my nanna was there too. My Nanna and Mum had a great big row and Mum got all of us kids and we had to go home on the bus, we never really understood why.
What I will say that over the years they became closer, and when my Nanna was terminally ill with cancer, she kept asking for my Mum, over all her own children, she wanted my Mum with her. She came to love my Mum as a daughter - maybe there is still hope for you?
I hope so, I have been lucky with mother in laws, my mother in law from my first marriage was fantastic, and I still keep in touch with her now.
My husband's Mum unfortunately died 7 years ago and we got on to a degree, I used to fet wound up as she could see no wrong in her son, but at the end of the day I loved her and she loved me.
As a mother in law to my son's wife, I always let my daughter in law know that I can see the faults in my son, and she loves me and I love her.
Hope things improve for you Lottie.