It was so badly built it sank in a gentle breeze,


Pam, I adore you Pam, you great big mountainous sports girl.... (Betjeman, Pot Pourri from a Surrey Garden)

Especially in your Olympic vest - come on now, gie us a twirl



Bed, bed, I couldn't go to bed, my head's too light to try to set it down

Fred, Fred, if I had my Fred, it would be much easier my sorrows to drown...


Be slowly lifted up , thou long black arm.
Great gun tow'ring toward heaven, about to curse... (Wilfred Owen)

Your sights aligned, your barrel charged
Then flatten Milton Keynes
........................and all in verse!


Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes (from the Pyjama Game)

And your pupils the colour of gold.
Those oddly shaped contacts are quite a surprise.
They make you look terribly old.






I carry your heart with me,

But I'd rather have a cup of tea.


When cats run home and night is done,

Thats when I go out and have some fun
I go to the abbey and find a Nun
Then run down the street and bang my drum.


Fight the good fight , with all thy might.....

I had an idea and over my head apeared a light,
with all it's might....
I had this feeling of delight
but I thought it was fright.





There was a guy who spilt a grain.

An atom, the world was never the same.







Were you ever in Quebec, stowing timber on the deck,

Where ladies of the street admired the thickness of your .. neck

Time will say nothing but I taught you so... (W H Auden)

I will say nothing (at least that's serious), so why won't you go.


Jocks eat nails, but don't know science.

They try to follow rules, but get non-compliance

When I was young, my mother said..... (Bachelor Boy, Cliff Richard)

"You naughty boy - Off With His Head!"

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves... (Jabberwocky)