Years ago, I read a tongue in cheek article by someone who reckoned that biros have a shape that affects the space-time continuum and are continuously disppearing into other dimensions. This was to explain that curious phenomenon that we all experience - the vanishing biros!

But it's now gone beyond a joke. Where are they? At home and at work, I can never find one. The numbers dwindle. I get more, take some from the stationery cupboard, steal them from colleagues etc.

In our house, it's also combs that disppear. I mean, it got to the point where I was hiding one in the bathroom in desperation, but no, that's gone now as well!

So why doesn't NASA simply make a spaceship in the shape of a large biro with comb-shaped aerofoils and start exploring the cosmos.

Failing that, can someone please mail me a large box of assorted bics?

Steve

When I was a kid I was always being told that "....things don't just disappear" but, as I grew up, I came to realise that this is just one of those silly things that adults tell children - a bit like Santa Clause.

The truth is that things can, and frequently do, "just dissapear" and biros are very prone to this effect.

I really cant see how this fact can be denied.

I remember the moment of revelation, over 10 years ago now, when I happened to be standing next to a colleague when he opened his desk drawer and I realised that that was where all the biros, pencils, rubbers, rulers etc disappeared to. It was literally overflowing with them! I suspect that every office has one of these somewhere. I'm still not sure what happens at home though.

And if said spaceship can also have a facility for searching for pencils, I'd be ever so grateful...

What about all the missing socks as well?

But it's usually just odd socks isn't it!

So just to summarise: we need to convince NASA to construct a biro/pencil-shaped craft with comb aerofoils to search for one-legged aliens.

No problem.

Steve

Maizie looks at her desk.
Maizie counts 24 biros.
Maizie checks stationery cupboard. Still full of biros.

I think they are all falling through wormholes to here!

As to what happens at home, surely you have read the wonderful "The Borrowers" series by Mary Norton?!!

Yes it is!

A disruption in the space-time continuum occurs every time a washing machine enters its spin cycle. Either that or the high speeds cause socks to vaporise and disappear along with the water through those little holes.

You can try and match your odd socks here with others that have the same problem.

Biro number 25 has just arrived on my desk! I don't know where from or how, it must have happened while I was out of my chair about five minutes ago...

There is only one solution for the problem and that is to fill your study/bedroom with a thick layer of biros/combs and socks. Some may suggest fill a draw, buy a stock box but this is the only way to tackle it.

It's not just pens/pencils that go missing! Rulers do it too!

Meantime, wire coathangers lurk in wardrobes and breed, I'm sure of it. They are set to take over the world, like grey squirrels have outbred the red ones, wire coathangers will multiply, ousting the nice wooden ones.
At work, all the biros have logos with medication names on them; some are definitely more cool to be seen with than others, and the Ex-lax ones usually lurk in drawers, unused and unloved.
The book in our house which explained everything was the Chocolate Monster, which lived under the floorboards, and had a particular penchant for chocolate, but would also appropriate pens, socks, shoes, and spectacles...

Glad We're not the only ones They go in the washing machine and are never seen again, no matter how many pairs I buy we only find odd ones and thye don't reappear even if we all empty our sock drawers

My biros don't seem to disappear, just the ink in them!! I went through about three in the last week, it's mad!!

I solve the sock problem by not wearing matching socks

Hair ties also seem to mysteriously disappear...

*agrees* Or they snap, I've got two bobbles in my school blazer, dont make me count how many are in my room, but hardly any in the drawer were they should be!

My socks, hair bobbles and blue pens all seem to have disappeared since I got to Durham...

! How?? You cant have lost all your socks!!

For me, it's rubbers that vanish. At least 20 have vanished from my desk in the last few days!! Luckily i have a large, but quickly decreasing, pile of them in my drawer.

Better to be safe than sorry .

I have a thing with picking up the only biro that doesn't work. Again and again! I've now located the (Fast dwindling !) Stock in our office, but before that it was a search under all the computers until you found one..

Perhaps we could start a forum 'Odd sock matching thread' ?

great idea

Maybe they should just comb the area . . .

*Goes to start*