Hi Everyone,

Just wondering if you have any funny practice excuses. One of my favourites is 'sorry I couldn't practice but the ceiling fell down, broke my keyboard and we all had to wear hard hats for a week!'. Can anyone beat this???
I look forward to hearing them all. We can start a book 'The Definitive Guide To Practice Excuses ~ Every Teacher Should Read!'.
Ali

I think I've heard every excuse in the book with one particular pupil. I've had: "brother's birthday and sister's birthday". I then asked the parent, how old are your other children? Thats when I found out that she was an only child...

The other one she came up with was thats she had a french vocubalary test, I asked her how many words, and she said about 20. I then asked her when it was, she said in 2 weeks...

But the funniest one, above all, would probably have to be, when one of my pupils, a boy, said he had hit puberty last week after the lesson, and spent the whole week celebrating. I wonder though if he was actually being serious...

The silliest excuse I've had is: 'I couldn't practice this week because there were some boxes infront of the piano'. She must have used this excuse for about two weeks until I offered to help move them, to which her parents replied: 'Don't worry we'll move them this afternoon!!!'

Isn't it amazing how often parents, who are paying out for lessons, actually go along with the excuses?

I have one pupil whose parent seems keen for her to learn and she appears to be too but it's always 'dad was in bed; the neighbours don't like me playing' that sort of stuff.

I've had "my room's being decorated so the keyboard is in the loft!". This was fine except it went on for about 3 weeks- I felt like ringing up the parents and telling them to get a move on!
I've also had people who started lessons promising to purchase a piano or keyboard and then taking a good half term to actually do this. Should I insist on a photograph of the piano in situ before doing the first lesson?

QUOTE

I've also had people who started lessons promising to purchase a piano or keyboard and then taking a good half term to actually do this. Should I insist on a photograph of the piano in situ before doing the first lesson?

lol - half a term is not bad!

I've had two terms or more before now - then parents want to know why their child is less well advanced than a friend who has started at the same time !

Aargh

Maggie

That's just reminded me of a funny experience I had with a little boy aged about 6. The first lesson went fine but at the second lesson it was clear that he had not touched a piano all week, which is fairly strange as usually they are really keen at the beginning!

I mentioned to his mum that he didn't seem to have done any practice. She said "oh no, we dont have a piano, I just want him to do something gentle because all he is interested in at home is rugby"!!!!!!
I asked if they were expecting to get a piano. "oh no, it'll be fine for him to just have the lessons".

Needless to say I terminated the lessons immediately.

Hmm. I'm just thinking of some of the excuses I've used...

And how silly they might have sounded.

I think I'll just admit in future, look, I haven't practised.

QUOTE (tamsin @ Sep 15 2004, 05:07 PM)

Hmm. I'm just thinking of some of the excuses I've used...  :huh: And how silly they might have sounded. I think I'll just admit in future, look, I haven't practised.

I reckon that as a teacher I can tell pretty quickly whether someone has practised or not, but I like to establish early in the relationship that if for any reason someone arrives for a lesson having not practised I want to know that straight away. I have a rather short fuse when people waste my time and their own pretending they have practised.

If I know they haven't practised, depending on what background knowledge I have we might spend the lesson doing supervised practice of whatever they were supposed to have been working on. That would automatically include at least one scale and one arpeggio, and wouldn't be presented as a punishment, but as a catch-up exercise so that we could move on. On the other hand especially if I'm dealing with a stressed out student who has been burning the midnight oil e.g. revising for an important exam, preparing for an OFSTED inspection or slaving over a big presentation for work - we might spend the time sight-reading some duets at a level of difficulty that they can enjoy. Sometimes lessons need to be mainly therapy!

QUOTE (Farley_Teacher @ Sep 15 2004, 04:28 PM)

I've had "my room's being decorated so the keyboard is in the loft!". I've had people who started lessons promising to purchase a piano or keyboard and then taking a good half term to actually do this.

Me too-I've had these 2 excuses countless times! How long does it take to decorate a room? And isn't it amazing how parents will spend money on lessons, but not on purchasing a keyboard. I also have parents who take ages buying music-in fact I've taken to getting it myself and putting it on the bill in lots of cases!

i was in a flute lesson the other day and my teacher said to her pupil have you practised? and she said 'ive practised these pieces but not the piece you asked me to'!!

QUOTE (Farley_Teacher @ Sep 15 2004, 04:28 PM)

I've also had people who started lessons promising to purchase a piano or keyboard and then taking a good half term to actually do this.

Lol.Dont worry,Ive done alot worse.I didnt get my first piano(digital )until about 1 1/2 years after I started.I did borrow a small keyboard from a friend,had a range of about two octaves or something.It was far too different from a real piano so I hated practicing on it and didnt do scratch until I got the digital piano.Started practising lots once I got that though,and I recently ugraded to a real piano(yay!).I think my teacher was getting really fed up and was threatning to terminate lessons if I didnt start practicing,got the digital piano just in time then.And just so you know,Im not lazy and I dont hate piano,it seriously rocks!

QUOTE

I asked if they were expecting to get a piano. "oh no, it'll be fine for him to just have the lessons".

Amazing isn't it !
I have started to slip in the question "and what do you have for him / her to practise on at home?" in a fairly casual way at some point when parents ring up to ask if there is a place. Some of the answers are interesting - "oh - is it necessary to practise? why is that ??" etc !
Maggie

I was asking one of my friends about their excuses when I went out for lunch with them today and they told me that the funniest one that they heard was an excuse for why the student still didn't have a keyboard to practice on. The student said "I did buy a keyboard but then my house got burgled and all they took was the keyboard!" Apparently, they got out again with an apprently 5/6 octave keyboard through the window...

Although I teach music composition which I suppose you can't really practise for, I often ask pupil during the week to write something we can work on next time. And I get so many excuses:

"The computer couldn't work"... Me: couldn't you write it out by hand? "No I haven't got any manuscript paper"

"I had too much homework" ... Me: and you did all your school homework but not mine?

"I hurt my hand so I couldn't write"... Me: And now it's 100% better...

and once I had

"I went on holiday with it and left it in a hotel in Scotland"

and

"I left it in a taxi in Hackney and my dad has to wait until 9am to phone the taxi company"

These are fantastic please keep them coming. I've laughed my head off!
And I agree that the parents are happy to go along with the excuses too!
Do they also do that with schol work????
Alison

i actually spend more time on my practice than my schoolwork... makes me slightly unpopular at school though! i'm taking a load of science subjects as well as music... whenever i go into a lab i either get glared at by the teacher or interrogated as to when my homework's going to come in!

my own pupils are great though... they always practise and do their homework... maybe i'm just lucky!

As a parent and student (and not a teacher) I find that my children always tend to do homework first and never regard instrument practice as homework. It is really difficult to make them realise that insrument practice should be regarded as such. I think the essential difference is that pupils rarely have 5 or 6 small pieces of homework per week in one subject which is how music practice has/needs to be done - a little every day rather than all at once!!

As someone else has posted on a previous thread, students must get into the habit of setting aside a certain (same) time each day for practice so that it becomes a habit.

There's the prerennial 'I was at the wrong house' ie I was at my Mum's and the keyboard/piano/music is at Dad's (or vice versa). I liked the one where 'We can't afford new batteries' but the Mum bought forty fags a day, but my most recent just made me sad: 'My keyboard is in the room with my baby sister and I'm not allowed in there anymore.' The best, although it has to said that this is a reason rather than an excuse, has to be: 'My keyboard's broken because our cat's very old and she weed on it and it blew up!' It must have given the cat a fright - the surprise symphony?
On a slightly different tack I used to get really fed up with parents coming in and saying he/she couldn't practice because they didn't know what they had to do (said very accusingly of course). I have always countered this by asking the pupil what they didn't understand, usually they say they don't know what the notes are. In a masterstroke, I ask them what the notes are, they tell me, I ask where their fingers go, they put them on, and the parent (usually) has the grace to look a little embarrassed. This happens so often with beginners that I wonder if there is some kind of psychological thingy going on - 'if I'm in a lesson I can read and know where my fingers go but otherwise I haven't a clue' kind of thing. Has anyone else experienced this?

QUOTE

'if I'm in a lesson I can read and know where my fingers go but otherwise I haven't a clue' kind of thing. Has anyone else experienced this?

Yes! I'm having precisely that problem with one of my younger students, it seems to stem from a severe lack of self confidence with her, we're working on that at the minute trying to convince her that she can remember what to do when she gets home but she still panics alot. It takes a very softly softly approcah to get over this, i think we're finally making some progress and most of her lessons seem to be made up of going over her pieces, asking her to "forget" what she's just learnt and then remember it again, getting her to go outside the room and come back in and play small snatches of the music from memory etc etc (she really loves doing that one lol, though to the outside observer I must look like the teacher from h*** kicking my student out the room all the time!) also alot of time talking about how she can remember what she's meant to do when she gets home, and how she can work things out if she's not sure.

I can't give any excuses..once my teacher knows I didn't practice, I will get such a shelling...but I sometimes hate the piece soooo much that I only practice it a little. So, my teacher gets angry and she asks why? So I make up excuses like....I have an exam, no time, forgot etc... but they usually don't work! Cause after the lesson she asks me again and I give a different excuse and then she stares at me!

QUOTE

'if I'm in a lesson I can read and know where my fingers go but otherwise I haven't a clue' kind of thing. Has anyone else experienced this?

I had one pupil like this but she had nobody at home to ask who knew anything about music. I think in a lesson you give a lot of clues almost without realising, like if they put their fingers in the wrong place you might just point to a different place on the piano and move on without really noticing that you had to do this.
If you have pupils who get no support at home you have to make them more independent, which involves teaching them how to practice. So you could have a pretend practise session in the lesson, where you just sit and watch them doing a 5 or 10-minute practice, without any interference. Then you will find out what they know! Also if they don't know where their fingers should be you need to write down a reminder by each piece, because they just won't remember once they are home, and then that is a whole week wasted until the next lesson. With my problem pupil I started off by actually drawing a picture of the starting notes, but eventually I managed to reduce down to just writing the note name above the first note.

Had a new excuse yesterday to brighten my day, from one of my new pupils. When I asked the child whether they had managed to do any practice last week the answer was "My Mum wouldn't let me play the piano" - when, puzzled, I enquired further the reason was because they have a new baby in the house. So, it's only going to be another year or so before she is allowed to practise, me thinks!

lol farley teacher!

The dog ate my music.

Maggie

"I've been practising accompaniment for the school choir all week, so I haven't been able to do my normal piano/organ practice." I use this one rather a lot...

Hmmm, I'm trying to consider how well the (truthful) reason, "I was so shattered when I got home from college all this week that it seemed pointless to practise" will go down!

any teachers care to suggest how they could react to this...!

QUOTE

The dog ate my music.

You have never seriously had this?!

I mean, any half intellegent, paractised at beng lazy kid, knows this is the worst excuse in the world, and never washes. Well, unless you actually to bring in the 'dog-eared' remains!

My cat actually did eat my music once. I'm not sure the teacher believed me, but luckily she had a spare copy!

QUOTE

The dog ate my music. You have never seriously had this?!

No I have to admit, I think it was something to do with someone's school homework

QUOTE

"I was so shattered when I got home from college all this week that it seemed pointless to practise" will go down!

well I'd probably say at least that's honest ....

Maggie

Well I do tend to be honest, having now made contact with the music department, I might start taking my flute into college to practise during my free periods. I've got nothing better to do. The only hazard is that the department is so busy, I might not find a place!

The following come up a lot -

Some children say they couldn't practise because they had brownies/cubs. When I ask them what about all the other evenings they look back at me blankly realising they have been stumped!

Some say they couldn't practise because they were too busy. I ask them what television programmes they saw this week and get quite a long list!

Some sadly say they couldn't practise because their mums won't let them (well in this instance it is the recorder and so I can sort of understand!)

I got a new excuse today, which I thought was acceptable, but I'm not sure Still you have to respect other cultures.

"I couldn't practice this week because my mum went to Belgium, and my Muslim aunt was looking after me. She told me she did not want to hear me practising."

OK, staying with a different relation who might not be as suportive, I can understand, but what does the aunt being Muslim have to do with it?

Sometimes I think people just rely on others not wishing to offend in any way!

QUOTE

I got a new excuse today, which I thought was acceptable, but I'm not sure Still you have to respect other cultures. "I couldn't practice this week because my mum went to Belgium, and my Muslim aunt was looking after me. She told me she did not want to hear me practising."

Yes - I have heard children say they were not allowed to practise the recorder because there was no music allowed in their house. The school had to convince them it was part of their normal homework !

Maggie

I work in an extremely multicultural school, and I've encountered this on several occasions - I've had children desperate to join in with their recorder-playing friends, but their parents have forbidden them to play for religious reasons. I think - but am not positive - that there is a passage in the Koran saying that they mustn't play musical instruments. It really breaks my heart when they are so keen and yet aren't allowed to learn!

I wasn't aware of that, in which case I retract my earlier comment, but that is sad.

Surely music is something that can always be celebrated and treasured? Not something to be banned. But still I supose if you truely believe it is against your religion...

Hello everyone!
Just wondering if we should tell the parents at the start of a lesson that we haven't had time to prepare for the lesson. We are expected to be prepared and ready and professional ~ what about the pupils?
Will they like us wasting their time and money?
Sometimes I feel music teachers should be renamed Child Carers!
I've got a fab practice excuse of my own at the moment ~ I'm bed ridden!
Give me some more hilarious excuses to cheer me up!!!
Alison

I have recently taken on about 15 new pupils hence the rush of new excuses:

Remember the girl who couldn't practise because of the "baby" - well this week after she had muddled through a piece particularly badly I asked her how much practice she had managed and she said she had forgotten to practise. Honest I suppose! Can't wait to hear what she says next week...

A girl has been having lessons with me for 3 weeks and I have just discovered that although the parent told me they had a piano, what they omitted to tell me was that the piano is not actually at their house. I politely suggested that they get hold of a cheap keyboard until their piano returns from whoever they lent it to years ago.

One boy has had "no batteries in his keyboard" so far this term.

A 16-year old girls younger brother has pulled out all the keys from one of her keyboards and has threatened to do the same to her other one.

Someone else has not had a piano or keyboard for 2 years - apparently her parents split up two weeks before her grade 2 exam and the one she stayed with didn't have the keyboard - she managed to pass the exam but hasn't had anything to practice on since.

I give up!

QUOTE

A girl has been having lessons with me for 3 weeks and I have just discovered that although the parent told me they had a piano, what they omitted to tell me was that the piano is not actually at their house. I

Commiserations Farley Teacher. It's amazing isn't it that parents are willing to pay for lessons and yet not willing or able to organize the backup facilities.

This thread set me thinking - there has to be a formula somewhere to calulate the average percentage of students who start to learn and are actually practising and making progress 6 months later - something like ...

100st - (0kb + busyparent + tv + 0time + a&e) + *!*###! = ?st

More ideas welcome!

Maggie

The best i had was, 'i've got a wart on my finger, and i was sat in the garden when an ant crawled along and bit it, its been too sore to use this week' , i couldnt tell her off for laughing so much! Classic!

The one I get is "my violin went out of tune just after I got home from my lesson last week, so I didn't see any point in practising"
...and this is usually from children who also have some sort of keyboard at home, an electronic tuner or even the little pitch pipes you blow through.

The other favourite is (and one that is enough to induce 'teacher rage' ) "I didn't know what you wanted me to practice". I always make it very clear what I want them to practice and even send them away each week with a proper Music Lesson Homework sheet.

Erm, that one I wouldn't even dream of using. Some of these student have such a lack of imagination!

Surely any practise even on the wrong thing is better than no practise!!

It's great fun to read all the practice excuses, and I'd just like to add the following:
Some kids probably never will practice much, for all manner of reasons, eg piano/keyboard in same room as TV which is always on, instrument at mum's/dads house and they're staying at the other one, or just no parental support whatsoever. Most teachers probably can't relate to these things, as we were the pupils who DID practise otherwise we wouldn'y be teaching today. My approach is not to nag about practice: if it happens, great, but if not, as long as the pupil is still enjoying the lessons and getting something out of them, then i would continue with that pupil. Many of the non- practisers will stop before long anyway out of frustration at their lack of progress.

My contribution differs slightly -- I have a new adult pupil who tends to separate every note, making them all detached and so very slightly staccato.
We were working on legato playing last week and she said 'I find that difficult to play because......I drive an automatic car....'!!

I think I know what she's trying to say, but I'm not too sure really!

Here are a few excuses my students have come up with over the years, and yes as a teacher you hear them all at some stage or another.


Neighbours rang me complaining if I didn't stop ill treating my cats they would report me to the Animal Welfare, I told them sorry there were no cats, it was just me practicing.

No one heard me shouting from the loo for a new toilet roll, it was a week later before they found me.

I looked up the chimney to see what the noise was and a lump of soot fell in my eye, so therefore I couldn't read my music.

I lost my glasses.

I had a headache


My little sister was sick all over my music book, ugh!

The dog got a hold of my music book and ripped it to shreds. (Nice doggy)

We had a power cut.

I had a bad case of hiccups and I couldn't sit still long enough to read my music properly.

I walked into the door and got a black eye.


I forgot what piece of music I had to practice.

I had to walk the neighbours' dog while they were away so I didn't get time to practice.

I broke my big toe, it didn't sound right without the pedals so I didn't do anything.

I had to finish my crossword, I'm very slow with words.

I had to baby sit.

I had to mow the lawn. (Well it's a bloomin' big lawn)

I left my music book at my friend's house and they have gone away for a week.

I had a hangover and couldn't read the music.

My little sister dropped my music into the washing machine, unfortunately it wasn't Handels' Water Music.

I chased the dog from next door off my garden, then I fell over and hit my head and was unconscious for a week. (Gee that's a good one I bet nobody's thought of the one before).

We've got a new kitten and it thought my music was the kitty litter tray.

I tried a new excuse with my new teacher the other day.


"I went to a gig on sunday, didn't have a jacket, got ill, since I smoke it was even worse. Then for the rest of the week I couldn't be bothered"

... It worked.. turns out he'd used a very similar excuse to his conductor the day before!

After the half term I asked my group of 7 year olds (recorders) who had practised during the holidays? One boy said that he couldn't because he broke his leg. I asked when he had done this (no sign of plaster) and he said when he was a toddler. He was serious!

I remember using a good one in school once: I hadn`t done my homework because the day before was my birthday and my parents had put ever lasting candles on the cake.

Didn`t exactly cut the mustard, as you can probably guess

At least it was imaginative!

I'm still dispairing over the numbers of teachers that seem to be stuck with the most uncreative lot I have heard of for a long time? How do they manage music?!


Still you'll all be pleased to know that I am somehow finding the time to squish in at least twenty mins each day (if I sit down and do it as soon as I get in, it gets done, otherwise I just decide I'm too tired!) and some nights I'm managing my two hour target!

Although I have been following this thread,(i know, i know, I shouldn't be trespassing in the teacher forum) and it is hilarious. but can i point out that not all students are like this??? I practice whatever i can fit around college stuff!